Savage Escape (Savage Security #1)

Chapter 30

30

CADEN

W ell, that was… unexpected. Caden’s mind whirled as she sat on the bench that Briar Hawthorne, psychic extraordinaire, had just vacated. She had a lot to contend with after their conversation.

First, that psychics were a thing. Like a real actual thing. Briar was one of them. Caden knew this to be true because no one knew of her baby sisters. Not their names, not that they once existed—nothing.

No one besides Nate. And Nathan wouldn’t have told anyone. She believed that so much that she was certain that psychics were a real thing.

Which was just crazy.

But facts were facts.

Psychics were real.

Second, and the most mind blowing of all, that she deserved happiness.

It was a problem she hadn’t been aware of before the psychic. But it made enough sense. Why was she running away from Nate? She wasn’t good enough for him. She’d just trash his life as she had so many others. Which basically all boiled down to her believing that she didn’t deserve happiness.

Obviously, it was something that she had to think about. Her not believing that she deserved happiness… probably had to do something with her childhood. Wasn’t that the case with all mental health problems?

Which made complete sense considering the shit hole that was her youth. Was she set up for failure just because of some unresolved stuff from her childhood?

Fuck that.

She wouldn’t give her father that much power over her.

Could she forgive herself for her sisters’ deaths?

Ezra’s death really hadn’t been her fault. It didn’t mean that she didn’t feel guilty as hell about it, though. Caden could hardly claim that she had control over breast cancer. So why did she harbor so much guilt?

No, what she actually felt guilty about was being away on jobs so much instead of spending time with her baby sister. Caden regretted it so much. It was an ache in her chest every time she thought about Ezzy. But it wasn’t like she could go back in time and fix it. Her job had kept them fed and clothed. It wasn’t like she could have said no to Uncle Sam. She’d have been court-martialed.

All she could do was come to terms with the fact that she’d prioritized her job over her sister.

Quinn’s death was her fault. Quinn had been so young, so good. If she’d only got her sisters out of that monster’s house sooner, then Quinn would still be alive. Why had the psychic said it wasn’t her fault?

Quinn was dead.

And it was her fault.

If she’d only hidden them better. If Quinn had only listened to her to stay hidden. If only she’d tried harder to get him off her. If only her father wasn’t such a fucking monster.

Which was maybe what the psychic had meant when she said it wasn’t Caden’s fault. Why let her father off the hook? He was the monster in the story. He was the fucker who’d murdered his own child.

Caden had been just a kid herself. Kid Caden hadn’t known leaving was an option.

Maybe it wasn’t her fault. Maybe she was carrying around the guilt because she knew her father wasn’t.

Caden reeled in shock at this revelation.

Maybe it wasn’t her fault.

Which meant what?

That she wasn’t as bad of a person as she thought she was. That maybe she deserved happiness. That maybe she was a person Nathan could want.

It took her a long minute to realize her phone was ringing and even longer to find the capacity to pick it up.

“Hello?” Who even had her number? She’d gotten the phone maybe three or four days ago.

“Caden.” Jackson’s no-nonsense tone was on the other end.

“Jackson,” still reeling from her revelation, she could only sputter, “how’d you get this number?”

“What do you mean? I’ve had this number since day one.”

“I mean, how’d you get it? My phone has been locked since day one.”

“Like it was hard guessing your password. You’re obsessed with him. I guessed Nate in two tries.”

“Shut up.” Caden was blushing hard. “What do you want?”

“Nate has been taken.”

“What?” Ice ran through her veins. “What are you talking about—I literally just left. What do you mean, he was taken ?”

“We think he was going after you when he was intercepted and taken. His tracker is on its way to Mexico.”

“Well, shit.”

“Are you coming back or is this it—no more Caden in our lives?”

“Yeah, I’m coming back.”

“Good.” His voice was clipped. “We’re bugging out in a few hours. Be at HQ before then.”