Savage Redemption (The Caraksay Brotherhood #10)

Chapter 28

CHAPTER 28

Black Combe

Rosie

“This is for you. It was mixed up with mine.” Eva glances again at the white envelope in her hand. “Foreign postmark. Austria.” She hands me the envelope but makes no move to leave. “Who do you know in Austria?” she asks.

“No one. It’s probably just a circular.” I stuff the envelope, unopened, into the back pocket of my jeans. “Have you seen Adan this morning?”

“I haven’t seen as much of him as you have, I daresay, given that he sleeps with you.”

I shudder. My dad is due back today, and he’ll go spare when he realises what the sleeping arrangements are. Eva’s been pretty laid-back, but he’s going to have plenty to say. I can’t really blame him.

I steel myself for the coming confrontation. I’m twenty years old, for Christ’s sake, I can fuck who I like.

‘Not under my roof’ I can hear him now, and I guess that means finding another roof, not such a challenge given that Adan isn’t exactly hard up and we could go anywhere. But I wish it could be different…

“So, open your letter,” Eva prompts me. She hasn’t bought the ‘circular’ crap at all. I don’t blame her, she’s one astute lady.

“Like I said, it’s probably nothing. I’ll get to it later, but right now I need to change Erin’s nappy.”

“I’ll do that. You open your letter.”

“There’s no need?—”

“Rosie, open the damn thing.” She grabs the pack of clean nappies from the couch and a few wipes. “It’s from the Vienna Philharmonic, isn’t it?”

“What? No! Why would you think that?”

“The envelope has their logo on it,” she replies, deftly dealing with wriggling toddler and bagging up the dirty nappy at the same time. Is there nothing she can’t do with aplomb? “So, go on. Why is one of the most prestigious orchestras in Europe, if not the world, writing to you?”

“Like I say, a circular…”

“They don’t send circulars. Why would they? Just open the damn thing.”

Thoroughly cornered, I know when I’m beaten. I retrieve the now crumpled envelope and rip it across the top.

“Well?” she demands, once I’ve scanned the page.

“It’s nothing…”

“Christ, girl. Give it here.”

“It’s private,” I protest.

One delicately arched eyebrow puts a stop to the nonsense. Admitting defeat again, I hand the sheet to her.

Eva skims the first few lines, then lets out a whoop. “Bloody hell, Rosie. They’re offering you a contract. A year, in their string section. How did you…?”

I busy myself disposing of the dirty nappy. “I auditioned online at first,” I mumble, “then they invited me to do a follow-up in Manchester. At the Opera House.”

“When was all this?”

“The online stuff? Just before we left Caraksay. The Manchester audition was last week.”

“You told me you were shopping. Sly, much?”

“I’m sorry. I just didn’t want any fuss.”

“Well, you’ll get fuss now. Your dad will be delighted for you. And so proud. We both are. This is a fantastic opportunity. You’ll be able to travel, performing all over the world. When do they want you to start?”

“Next month,” I mutter, “but I?—”

“Vienna is a beautiful city,” she burbles on, barely able to contain her excitement.

This is just what I didn’t want.

“I won’t be going,” I blurt.

She gapes at me as though I just sprouted an extra head or two. “What are you talking about?”

I wave my arm at Erin. “What about her, to start with? I can’t just up and go globe-trotting and leave her behind.”

“So, hire a nanny and take them both with you.”

“The Vienna Philharmonic pay well, but not that well. And where would I find a good nanny, willing to travel, by next month?”

“We’ll help, you know that. With the money and everything else. And what about Adan? Won’t he?—?”

“Adan wants to live in Paris. Or maybe London. He won’t go to Vienna.”

“Have you talked to him about any of this?” She brandishes the letter in front of my nose. “Have you even asked him?”

“There’s no point. He’s a businessman, he’ll need to be in one of the global financial centres. Not tucked away in Austria staring at lakes and mountains and learning to yodel.”

“Is Paris a global financial hub? In any case, until you ask him, you don’t know what he might want. He might like yodelling. Does he know about any of this? The auditions…?”

I shake my head. “I didn’t think it would come to anything. I’m out of practise, I was just testing the waters. Maybe later, in a year or two.”

“You need to talk to him. Maybe you could come up with something between you.”

“I love him. I want us to be together. Nothing else matters. So, Vienna is out of the question. Give me back my letter. I need to reply and let them know I won’t be coming.”

She stuffs it into her own back pocket. “You’ll do no such thing, at least until you’ve talked to that man of yours. Last I saw, he was in the kitchen.” She picks up Erin. “What are you waiting for? Go.”

“I can’t. He’ll feel obliged.”

“Adan San Antonio does not strike me as a man who ever feels obliged. If he loves you?—”

“He does! I know he does. And I love him.”

“As I was saying, if he loves you, because he loves you, he’ll want to know about this.”

I shake my head. “It’s no good. We just can’t?—”

“Right. If you won’t tell him, I will.”

I gasp, horrified. “You can’t!”

“Watch me.” She places Erin back on the sofa and hands her a colourful board book. “It really should come from you, though. Still, if you’re sure…” She heads for the door.

“Wait!” I shout.

She turns slowly to face me.

“Okay, okay. I’ll do it. Give me the letter.”

She shakes her head. “Insurance,” she states, simply. “In case you chicken out.”

I curse under my breath, and still muttering, I sweep past her and out into the hallway. The kitchen is at the end, at the rear of the house. I make my way there on leaden feet.

Adan isn’t alone. He’s seated at the kitchen table, his tablet open in front of him. Opposite him, Tom lounges in one of the carver chairs, his dog at his feet and a bacon butty in his hand. The pair of them have become unlikely friends. I find them deep in conversation, discussing renewable energy.

It’s a subject close to Tom’s heart. Several years ago, he developed a wind farm on the top of one of the moors overlooking Greystones, and is now considering introducing solar panels on the lower slopes. Apparently, they don’t bother the sheep.

“Cost me a fucking fortune to get it operational,” he recalls with a grimace. “Pulled in investors from wherever I could, including Nathan, but it was a struggle. Still, I began to see a return after five years, and it does okay now.”

“Congratulations,” Adan replies. “Does solar require the same level of investment? And risk?”

Tom rocks his hand to signify ‘maybe’. “It helps that I own the site and can access it easily from the road.” He catches sight of me in the doorway. “Ah, Rosie. The very lady. I found you a dog.”

“A dog?” I step into the kitchen. “What sort of a dog?”

“A pup, really. One of my tenants up on High Ghyll has a litter. Mum’s a Great Dane, and from the look of the pups she’s been getting jiggy with a bear. They’re going to be huge.”

I can’t stifle my grin. Just what I wanted, a lovely big dog to play with Erin, like I had my Barney. Then my face falls when I remember. This is yet another reason why Vienna is out of the question.

“We… we can’t,” I mumble. “We don’t know where we’ll be living. You can’t keep a dog in an apartment.”

“So, don’t live in an apartment,” Tom counters. “What’s wrong with here?”

“My dad,” I reply. “He and Adan don’t get on.”

Tom grins. “Well, there is that. Nearby, then. I have a couple of cottages you could look at. Plenty of land.”

“Adan needs to be in a city,” I explain. “Financial markets. An airport. All that.”

“Haven’t you heard of the internet?” Tom stuffs the last of his butty in his mouth. “Well, let me know. About the cottage, and the dog.” He gets up to leave, dropping a kiss on my forehead before he strides out of the door, his border collie trotting at his heels.

Adan regards me with interest. “You look troubled, cara . What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Your father’s back today, isn’t he?”

“Yes, but it’s not that. He’ll kick off. We may have to move out.”

He shrugs. “Is it the dog? Because if that’s what you want, we could sort something out.”

“No, not really.”

“Tom’s right, you know. All I really need is fast internet and a phone. The airport is optional.”

“But, you wanted to go to Paris…”

“So did you, or so I thought. Have you changed your mind? Seriously, cara , we could live anywhere. In this country, or abroad. Preferably not Spain, too complicated with my family, but pretty much anywhere else. We could buy a big house with plenty of land for your dog-crossed-with-a-bear to roam. Not to mention a pony for Erin…”

“Anywhere?” I blink at him.

“Anywhere. The world is our oyster. Think about how remote Caraksay is, but that doesn’t hamper Ethan. We can buy a helicopter…”

I sink into the carver chair that Tom vacated. “A helicopter?” I echo weakly.

He shrugs. “Whatever it takes, I’m adaptable. We’ll go where you want.”

“Oh.” I’m speechless. “Not Paris, then?”

“Doesn’t have to be Paris.”

“How about Vienna?” Eva chips in from the door.

Adan turns to welcome her to join us. Erin, too, who reaches for him with sticky fingers.

“Vienna?” he muses. “Not a place I thought of, but I don’t see why not. Beautiful architecture.” He takes Erin onto his lap. “What do you think, chiquita ? Shall we all go to live in Vienna? With a big dog and a garden?”

Eva sends me a look of pure triumph. I told you so.

“I think you need to see this, Adan.” She retrieves the now somewhat crumpled and dog-eared letter from the Vienna Philharmonic and hands it to him.

He juggles his daughter while he extracts the sheet of paper and lays it before him on the table, smoothing out some of the wrinkles. Moments later his gaze lifts to meet mine and his handsome mouth quirks, but not quite a smile. “You’ve been busy.”

“Not really. It’s just?—”

“It’s not my field, but even I’ve heard of these guys. They don’t invite just anyone to join their orchestra.”

“I had an audition…”

“Two auditions,” Eva chips in.

His brow furrows. “Why am I only hearing about this now?”

“I never thought they’d even entertain me. I’m rusty, and although I’m a decent violinist?—”

“Better than decent. I taught her.” Eva beams at the pair of us. “My star pupil.”

“Your only pupil,” I correct her.

“They were obviously impressed,” Adan observes, undeterred by my protestations. “Just like I was, and they know what they’re talking about. Is this who you needed to hear it from?”

I shuffle from one foot the other. “Maybe…”

He waves the letter at me. “Is this what you want to do?”

“Well, yes, I suppose so. But what about Erin? And the dog? I’d be travelling all the time. And there’s rehearsals, and?—”

“Details. Important details, but we could work things out.”

“I don’t see how.” I sink into the chair opposite him. “We’d need a nanny. Where could I find a good nanny by next month?”

“Next month?”

“Yes. Rehearsals start on the second.”

“Well, we need to get a shift on, then. I’m guessing we’re moving to Vienna. String section, eh? I knew you were good.”

“Weren’t you listening just now?”

“Not really. You were babbling. The only real question to answer is, do you want to do this?”

“Of course, but?—”

“Then between us we’ll make it work. Trust me.”

I ignore Eva’s muttered ‘I told you’. I’m too busy throwing my arms around him. “Love you, I love you, I love you.”

I had that talk with Eva. At first it was awkward, I didn’t know where to start, how to ask. What to ask?

‘Do you like being spanked?’ Hardly the stuff of casual chit-chat over lunch.

It started innocuously enough. “You and Adan seem to be getting on well,” she observed as the pair of us clustered around her laptop to draft my reply to the Vienna Philharmonic. “He took this news well enough.”

“Yes, he did. And we’re going,” I replied. “I never imagined…”

“A man of surprises, that one. Pass me that letter, I need to get their address right.”

“Yes. Surprises. He said… he said that…”

She lifts her gaze from the screen. “What did he say, sweetheart?”

“He said I should be spanked, for keeping it all to myself.”

“Oh.” I have her full attention now. “And what do you think?”

“I think it’s weird. Don’t you? Spanking, and all that…”

“All that?”

“Kinky stuff. Violence.”

She adopts a serious expression. “Kink and violence are not the same thing. Not at all. Do you want him to spank you?”

“Why would I want that? Why would anyone?”

“Why indeed? But the very fact that you’re asking me about this suggests you may be considering it. Just a little, maybe?”

“Maybe,” I concede. “It’s just that…”

She waits, patient, while I try to drag my jumbled thoughts together.

“It’s just that, he’s never hurt me. Even when… even back then. He was always kind, and gentle. Why would he want to… do that?”

“Are you scared of him?”

“No! Of course not.”

“Do you think he’d ever injure you?”

“No!”

“And you’re thinking about it. Maybe?”

“I suppose…”

“Why? Why are you thinking about it?”

I shrug. “Curiosity, I suppose.

“It’s good to be curious. Good to try new things, to explore, especially if you feel safe to do that together.”

“I do feel safe, it’s just that it seems so… so unusual. What if someone found out? What if Erin saw?”

“Like you did that time?”

“Me?” I gulp, and the flush rises from my chest to engulf me. “What do you mean?”

She smiles at me. “You were there, that time. At the door. You saw me and Nathan.”

“I never… I mean, I wouldn’t… I’m sorry, it was just…”

“It was an accident. I know, we both know that.”

Both? Jesus. “You mean my dad saw me, too?”

“Of course.”

“Neither of you ever said.”

“Well, no. Obviously. We didn’t want to make a big deal of it. If you needed to talk, we would have, if only to make sure you understood we were fine. We were playing. It was fun. Nothing to see here.”

My head is spinning. I’m struggling to make sense of all this, but surely…

“Is it normal, then?” It must be. They’re my parents.

“Normal enough, whatever that means.” She takes my hand. “The important thing to understand is that it’s all about consent. If a man hits you without your consent, that’s assault. You should run a mile and never look back. Tell the police. Or tell Adan and get him to hire a hitman. But with consent, well, that’s different. You know he’ll stop the instant you tell him to. He’s not angry, there’s no coercion. It’s just… fun.”

“Is it? Fun?”

“Well, I think so. I didn’t at first, I was as confused as you, but I was also intrigued. And I trusted Nathan to take care of me, so I went for it.” She allows herself a soft smile. “It’s a decision I never regretted.”

I regard her seriously. My head is still spinning, but perhaps slightly less furiously. “I need to think.”

“Thinking’s good. You have a think and do whatever seems right to you. For you. And if you have more questions, come to me. I’m always here for you.”

“I talked to Eva,” I blurt.

“Oh, yes?” He glances over at me and toes off his shoes as we both get ready for bed. He straightens, and his gaze sharpens. “Ah. That talk?”

“Yes. That talk.”

“How did it go?”

“Fine. I think. It was… helpful.”

“I’m glad.” He doesn’t press me. He just meets my gaze and holds it.

“Is the offer still open?” I ask.

“Offer?”

“To spank me?” There. I’ve said it.

His lips curl in a sensuous smile. “Yes. That offer is always on the table.”

“Then, then I think I might like to… accept it. Please.”

His smile widens. “I hoped you would.”

“Can we do it now? Before I chicken out?”

“No time like the present. Come here, Rosie.”

I get up from the edge of the bed and make my way to where he’s seated on my upholstered bedroom chair. “What do I need to do?”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Everything?” I squeak. I suddenly feel very vulnerable.

“As much as you feel comfortable with.” His eyes darken.

I see desire there, and something else I can’t quite name. It might be pride. No, it’s not that, not exactly.

Respect. I see respect there, and it makes me bold.

I can do this. I want to do this. With him.

I strip quickly, then take the final couple of paces to stand between his knees. “What now?”

“Now, you arrange yourself across my lap. Get comfortable.”

“What if I fall?”

“I won’t let you fall.”

I suppose I knew that. I move to the side then place my hands on his thigh. “Like this?” I drape my body across his legs.

“Put your hands on the floor. Move your feet in a bit, raise your bottom up for me.”

Raise your bottom up for me. Oh God…

I do as he suggests, wriggling against his thighs. “Is this okay?”

“Yes, perfect. I’m thinking we’ll start slow, maybe ten spanks. How does that sound?”

I don’t know what to say. I have no yardstick for this, no frame of reference. “I suppose…”

“Yes. Ten,” he affirms, his hand gently palming my buttock. “You have a beautiful arse, Rosie. Have I told you that?”

“I… I don’t think… Yes, yes, you did.” My brain is melting under the gentle, rhythmic caress.

His fingers find their way into the groove between my buttocks, drifting lazily down, deeper, lower, until?—

“Aaagh? Christ, yes,” I moan when he reaches my private rear hole.

“Would you like me to fuck you here?” he enquires in a soft tone.

I nod furiously.

“Later, after you’ve been a good girl for me.”

Good girl? My brain abandons any remaining shred of sanity with just those two simple words. Jesus, what’s actually happening to me?

“Ten spanks, then, okay? Do you want to count?”

“I… yes.” I can manage that much. Probably.

The first spank lands across my right buttock, and despite my apparent readiness it comes as a shock. I jerk sharply, almost tumbling onto the carpet. But for his arm around my waist I might well have ended up on the floor.

“You okay?” He pauses, waits for me to steady myself. “We can stop if you want to.”

No, no, don’t stop!

“What was that, cara . You need to say it out loud.”

“I don’t want to stop,” I gasp. “Please.”

“We carry on, then.” He raises his palm and drops the second slap, on my left buttock.

Forewarned is forearmed and all that. It’s not such a shock this time. I still jolt hard but manage not to dislodge from my perch.

He palms my throbbing buttocks for a moment before delivering the third spank, then the fourth.

The slaps are interspersed with a few seconds of sensual fondling as though to soothe my scorched flesh. I sink further into my erotically charged stupor and vaguely wonder what on earth I was so scared of.

“Are you still keeping count?” He interrupts my drift into ecstasy.

Am I? Yes, I think so. “Four,” I manage. “Or was it five?”

“It was four,” he assures me. “Ready to continue?”

“Of course.” I stiffen on his lap, anticipating.

The next two or three slaps send my senses into a spiralling, sensual haze. Coherent thought seems overrated, so I abandon any attempt at such extremes. I simply am.

I float. I drift. I feel.

Long moments pass with no further assault on my overworked nerve endings. I shift against the denim of his jeans, seeking more stimulation. More of everything.

“You can get up now, if you want.”

What? Why?

I turn my head, look up at him.

“We’ve finished. That was ten.”

“No, I was counting.” I feel indignant. Cheated.

“You lost count, cara . At about seven, I think.”

“No, I definitely…”

“If it’s any comfort, most subs don’t get beyond five.”

I peer at him, trying to remember. And what does he mean by sub?

Sub? Submissive? Is that me?

I struggle to right myself. His hands under my shoulders assist me to a sitting position. He settles me on his lap.

“Is that okay? Would you rather lie down? On your stomach, maybe?”

I wriggle against him. The scratching sensation is oddly erotic. A reminder of what just happened, the intimacy, the utter unexpected bizarreness of this entire episode. A burst of pure pleasure erupts, sending a pulse of desire to my core.

“No, I’m good here.” I snuggle against his chest, startled to realise that apart from his shoes, he’s still fully dressed. “What did you…? What did you call me?”

“ Cara ?”

“No, not that. Sub. You called me sub.”

“Ah, yes. Sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“I’m not upset. I’m…”

What? What am I doing? What am I thinking?

“I’m… I’m just acclimatising.” Yes, that’s it. I’m adjusting. This is a new reality, I’m trying it on for size and finding I rather like it.

“Good. Now, about that promise. Your reward for being a good girl.” He stands with me in his arms, takes the couple of strides to reach the bed, and places me on top of the duvet. “Lube still in the drawer?”