Saving Mr. Bell

Chapter Twenty

Arlo

“I’m coming back.” Whatever I did in the cabin, wherever I was, those words kept playing on a loop. I’d believed them for the first three days, any noise from outside making me rush to the window in eager anticipation of watching Rudolf get out of a car and run into my arms. By day four, that confidence had waned. And now it was day seven. An entire week. All without a single word from Rudolf since he’d replied to the one and only text message I’d sent him.

Sure, I could have called him, but something had stopped me from taking that step. An unwillingness to face the truth? A fear of rejection? I didn’t know. All I knew was that he hadn’t come back. Was he back clubbing? Had he gone straight from my bed into someone else’s? If so, there was no pretending I wasn’t jealous and that it didn’t hurt.

Abandoning the breakfast of porridge I’d barely touched, I went over to the Christmas tree. I still hadn’t decorated it, determined to wait for Rudolf. I reached out and ran my finger over the reindeer ornament Rudolf had hung there. I missed him. I missed everything about him. His laugh. His scent. His teasing. The way his hair was permanently in his eyes.

The last week had been torture, everything in the cabin reminding me of him. The bed we’d slept in together. The sofa where we’d first been intimate. The piano we’d played. The table where Rudolf had tricked me into playing strip poker and I’d confided in him about what a shit show my marriage had been.

Feeling like the walls were pressing in on me, I struggled into my boots and coat and stood outside on the porch. Which direction? Not East. That was where I’d chased Rudolf on that first day when he’d been intent on escaping, and where we’d cut the tree down. Not South. That was where we’d found the treehouse and watched the wolf cubs. Not North. That was where the hill where we’d gone sledging lay. Which left only one direction where Rudolf hadn’t left his imprint. The river it was, then. While the snow was no longer deep, it hadn’t melted altogether, lending my surroundings that pretty winter postcard effect.

Once I reached the river, I watched the current carry away twigs and leaves. It was the twenty-first today, meaning it would be Christmas in four day’s time. Was I really going to spend it here alone, tortured by the memory of a man who clearly wasn’t coming back? We’d had great sex; Rudolf wasn’t a good enough actor to have faked it to that degree. But perhaps for him, that’s all it had been, and I’d been na?ve to believe it was more. Just like you thought you and Bruno would last when you married him. Yeah, I wasn’t the best judge when it came to relationships.

I lowered myself to a large, flat rock that provided a perfect seat, ten minutes passing in silent contemplation before I reached a decision. A week was long enough to wait. I’d return to the cabin, I’d pack my stuff, and I’d drive to the airport. I wasn’t sure where I’d go after that, but that wasn’t something I needed to decide right now. Somewhere hot, maybe. Where I could lie on the beach and pretend it wasn’t Christmas.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I pulled it out to stare at the screen.

Rudolf: Hey!

Seven days of silence and I got, hey. It should have annoyed me. Yet, the warmth in my chest spoke of anything but annoyance. Wherever he was, at least he’d thought of me. What if this is him telling you thanks for the good times, but that was it? Well, there was only one way to find out if that was the case.

Arlo: Hey yourself.

Worried the conversation might end there like our last text exchange, I quickly typed out another message.

Arlo: How are you?

Rudolf: I’m good. Really good, actually. Life is back on track.

What did that mean? Just ask him if he’s coming back? What’s the worst that can happen? That was easy to answer. He could say no. And then at least you’ll know and you can get on with your life and stop lingering here like a lovelorn fool.

Rudolf: Is this like some sort of tribute to Goldilocks?

Had he sent that to the wrong person? A photo loaded slowly, the image a bowl with porridge in. Wait! That was my bowl. The one I’d abandoned because I didn’t have any appetite. Which meant…

Rudolf: Or are you re-enacting the Marie Celeste? Because it feels like a bit like that. You know, abandoned building but with signs that someone was here not too long ago. I was tempted to stick my finger in the porridge and see if it was still warm, but I managed to resist.

Arlo: You’re here!

Rudolf: Duh!. Where are you?

I half fell off the rock. In my haste to clamber to my feet, I skidded forward on a patch of snow, narrowly avoiding tumbling into the river. “Try not to kill yourself, you idiot,” I chided as I righted myself.

Arlo: On my way back. Wait there. Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be ten minutes. Fifteen at most.

Rudolf: I’ll be waiting.

I’d never cursed as much at anything as I did at the snow on my way back, the stupid white stuff curtailing all my efforts to set a new land/speed record. When the cabin came into sight, my hopes of seeing Rudolf standing in the doorway looking out for me, as eager to see me as I was to see him, were dashed when it was firmly shut, just as I’d left it. Probably to keep the heat in. There was another car parked behind mine, a four-wheel drive. Rental, I assumed, unless Rudolf had splashed out.

I completed the last few meters in a run, snow be damned, before flinging the cabin door open. A jeans and T-shirt clad Rudolf, hair as wild as ever, and his feet bare, leaned against the kitchen counter watching the kettle boil. He turned his head as I exploded through the door, his lips twitching at the manner of my arrival. “Ah, there you are. Perfect timing. Kettle’s just boiled.”

“You came back!” My coat and gloves proved uncooperative as I hastened to get free of them. My boots were a little less rebellious, but not by much.

“I said I would.” Rudolf paused from pouring boiling water into two mugs. “Ah! You didn’t believe me. You thought I was just saying that.”

“No. Yes. Maybe.” I shook my head, my thoughts a mad whirl with Rudolf right in front of me and looking good enough to eat. “I don’t know. Not at first, but then you didn’t text, you didn’t call, you didn’t—”

“Write a letter or send a pigeon.” He grimaced. “Yeah, I know.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I had this crazy notion of being back before you’d noticed I’d left, like in a day or two. But it didn’t work out like that.” He aimed a look of accusation my way. “You didn’t call either.”

“No.”

He lifted his chin. “Why not?”

“Because… I don’t know.”

Green eyes narrowed on me, sizing me up. “Yeah, you do. Be honest. I can tell when you lie now.”

That was concerning. “Because I thought that even if you had meant it at the time, that you might have changed your mind, that it was nothing but sex for you, that we were a moment in time you’d forget about as soon as you returned to civilization.” There you go. How’s that for honesty? It wasn’t quite telling him I loved him, but it wasn’t far from it. It certainly set my stall out for wanting him, for wanting a permanence we’d never discussed.

“I wouldn’t have come back if that was the case.”

“I know that now.”

“Yet, you’re all the way over there, just staring at me.”

I stalked over to him, carefully extracting the mug of coffee from his hands and placing it on the kitchen counter before yanking him into my arms. He was warm and pliable and smelled like Rudolf. “How long can you stay?”

“How long do you want me here?”

“How long’s a piece of string?”

“How long is the River Nile?”

“What?” I breathed against his hair.

“Oh, sorry. I thought we were just asking questions about how long stuff is.” He stroked his hand down my back, his touch making me shiver after doing without it for so long. “I sacked Jade.”

“Good. She sounded like a bitch. How did your father take it?”

“Surprisingly well. I’ve been letting her drive a wedge between us. If I’m honest, I don’t think she did it deliberately. She just really thought she worked for him and that I didn’t get a say in anything. Partly my fault for not seeing it and for letting it go on for years. Mistakes were made by all parties. I sacked everyone else as well. Everyone except for Nelson.”

I searched my memory banks for whether I was supposed to know that name and concluded I didn’t. “And Nelson is?”

Rudolf’s hands slipped lower to the swell of my arse, my cock immediately showing its appreciation. “My bodyguard. He should have been with me that night at the nightclub. You know, to stop me from getting into fights. Or from getting into strange men’s cars.”

I nuzzled Rudolf’s neck. “Thank fuck he wasn’t there, then. Or God knows where we’d be. How come he made the cut?”

Rudolf shrugged. “I discovered months later than I should have done that he’s a nice guy with a decent sense of humor. Plus, he’s built like the proverbial brick shithouse. Anyway, my father pointed out that I couldn’t sack everyone and then just run away, that if I wasn’t going to sort stuff out myself, that I needed someone to do it for me.”

“And did you find someone?” Rudolf was hard, the ridge of his cock pressing against my thigh.

“Yeah. Sophie Lamb. Have you heard of Faustino Maslin?”

“The violinist?”

“Yeah. She manages him. I called Faustino, and he only had good things to say about Sophie, so I hired her. Sophie is going to sort all my shit out. Clear my schedule. Apologize to anyone who needs apologizing to on my behalf. Make a statement to the media. And then in January, we’re going to sit down together and come up with a plan for my future where I’m not constantly circling the globe. She told me that less is more, that limiting my concerts will only make me more in demand.” Rudolf pulled back, his eyes shining. “So in answer to your question, I’m here for Christmas if you’ll have me?”

“I’ll have you.”

Rudolf tipped his head back, his hips starting a slow grind against mine. “What about after Christmas? I want you in my life. I just wanted things sorted first so I could focus on you properly.”

So straightforward, but that was Rudolf all over, far braver than I’d ever be. A man could change, though. A man could even put a failed marriage behind him and not let it stop him from saying something he knew to be true, no matter how scary it might be. “I want you in my life too. So much. I…”

Rudolf raised an expectant eyebrow when I didn’t finish. “You…?”

“I love you.” The words came out in a rush and then I held my breath for what Rudolf’s response might be. My heart thudded in my chest as he extricated himself from me and took a step back.

“Good.”

I stared at him open-mouthed, so amazed by his flippancy that I forgot to panic. “I tell you that, and that’s all you’ve got to say. Good?”

“I’m just relieved you’re not trying to marry me.”

“ That is not funny.”

“It’s quite funny.”

“For you, maybe. I’ve still got all the fallout from the media to weather when they find out.”

“You can borrow Sophie. Note, I said borrow, not kidnap. I know the two things have the same meaning in your head, but they’re really not the same. I like her, but not so much I want to get up one morning and find her tied up on the sofa.”

I’d stopped listening, more interested in the bare skin being revealed as Rudolf pulled his T-shirt over his head and dropped it on the floor. “I’m hot,” he lied. “Must be something to do with the hatchet job someone did on the logs for the burner.”

“They’re fine.”

“I looked in the shed. They’re massive. I’m surprised you could fit them in.” I said nothing as his fingers moved to the fastening of his jeans, refusing to admit that I’d had to take the logs back outside to chop into smaller pieces when I’d had that exact problem. Rudolf undid his button. “I have plans for us for the next few days.”

It was hard not to assume that all those plans were sexual when Rudolf accompanied his words with pulling down his jeans, his underwear coming with them. And if they were, he wouldn’t hear any arguments from me. I stared at his cock, my mouth watering. “Yeah?”

“We need to decorate the tree.”

“Okay.”

“I have presents to put under it and they’ll look stupid if it’s not decorated.”

“Presents?”

“For you.”

“You got me presents?”

“Duh! It’s Christmas. I could hardly turn up here empty handed.”

“You’re enough of a present.” Especially stood stark naked as he was. I couldn’t think of anything I wanted more.

“You smooth talker, you.”

“It’s true.” I made a mental note to drive to Salzburg. Rudolf might have presents for me, but given I hadn’t fully believed he’d return, I had nothing for him. It would have felt like tempting fate.

Rudolf wrapped a hand around his cock and gave it a stroke. “Where was I? Oh yeah, plans. I want to go sledging again while there’s still snow.”

“I can live with that.”

“I want you to teach me to make bread.”

“You’re very demanding.”

“Yep. You’ll need to get used to that now we’re together.”

“I’ll adapt.”

“Naked Twister.”

“Sounds fun.” Or at least what it would lead to sounded fun. I had a feeling the game itself would be short-lived.

“Lots of sex.”

“I’ll do my best. Can we start now?”

Rudolf grinned. “In case you haven’t noticed, I’ve already started. I’m just waiting for you to catch up.”

I was on him in a flash, hustling him toward the bedroom and not stopping until we had a mattress at our back. I spent the next hour reacquainting myself with all things Rudolf, the moans I pulled from him only spurring me on to find new unexplored places. In true Rudolf style, he waited until after we’d both orgasmed to tell me he loved me, too.