Saving the Cowboy’s Christmas (Rowdy Ranch #12)

Chapter 32

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

T o say Lani had fun caroling would be a stretch, but she’d enjoyed some highlights. Granny’s sign had touched her, and she’d laughed until she was out of breath at Beau’s antics when they’d sung I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas to Jess and the kids.

She’d always remember her parents standing on their porch, arms around each other, as the group sang Silent Night . They’d had a full life in Trenton, maybe a little too full. Here they were learning to relax. It was beautiful to see.

She envied them a little bit. Their warm smiles had radiated peace and joy. Those emotions weren’t within reach for her right now.

She was at odds with the cheerful mood of the carolers as they gathered by the fire in the ranch house living room. She faked it as best she could and vowed to sneak out the moment she could get away with it.

That said, she was dying to know what had sent Rance into a huddle with his mom and Andy. Irving attempted to join their clearly private discussion and was rebuffed. When he started in her direction, she turned her back and dived into a conversation Gil and Faye were having with Beau about what songs to include next year.

Next year. She couldn’t even think about it. Rance might have found somebody new. She might have, too, although the prospect of dating made her stomach clench.

“Lani?” Rance’s voice, so close, made her jump and twirl around so fast she almost spilled hot chocolate over both of them.

“Sorry. Didn’t mean to scare you.”

“That’s okay.” She gulped for air. “I just wasn’t…” She met his gaze. “Have you… did you think about….” She couldn’t make herself say it. Going to a different publisher was her suggestion and she hated the thought.

“Let’s duck into the library.”

“Um, okay.” She glanced at her mug of hot chocolate. “I should probably?—”

“I’ll take it.” Faye held out her hand.

“Oh.” The discussion of caroling choices had screeched to a halt as the three of them gazed at her with great interest. She gave Faye her mug. “Just don’t take out Hippopotamus . That’s a winner.”

“They’ll take that out over my dead body,” Beau said. “And Jess’s.”

Gil laughed. “I’ll be sure and tell her you put her life on the line for that tune.”

“Let’s go.” Rance took her hand.

She shivered as he wove his fingers through hers and led her to the open door of the library. Sam started to follow, but a quick word from Rance sent the collie back to the crowd in the room.

Would this be their last private conversation? He didn’t bother to close the door, so he wasn’t planning to kiss her. Maybe this was the way they’d say goodbye, surrounded by books. That was appropriate.

The rainbow of wingback chairs formed a semicircle facing the bookshelves that she now knew revolved to create an entrance to Desiree’s office. Rance stopped before they reached the chairs. “I have a favor to ask.”

She turned to face him as warmth traveled from the clasp of his hand up her arm and through her body. “Of course. I’m happy to be your emissary. I have a good relationship with?—”

“This isn’t about going to another publisher.”

“No? Then what is it about?”

“The Wenches will be discussing my book tomorrow. I’ll be there and I’d like you to be there, too.”

“Discussing your… they’ve all read it?”

“Most of them. Mom’s contacting each of them now to see if they can manage to finish by two o’clock tomorrow.”

“But it’s Christmas Eve Day! What’s the rush? And don’t you have to work?”

“I just checked with Clint and he’s agreed to change my hours. I’ll be working Christmas Eve, instead.”

“But then you can’t do the sleigh ride.”

“Not necessarily. I might be allowed fifteen minutes to take a spin up and down Main Street.”

“Rance, what’s going on? I saw you having what looked like a serious talk with your mom and Andy. What happened?”

“They asked why we weren’t speaking to each other. I told them.”

“All of it?”

“Not all. Just that we’ve developed strong feelings for each other and as a result you’ve decided you can’t be my editor. And that I… haven’t reacted well to that decision.”

“What’s that got to do with asking the Wenches to gather for a critique on Christmas Eve Day? It makes no sense.”

“It will.”

“What aren’t you telling me?”

His gaze searched hers. “I love you.”

Her brain stalled and the air left her lungs.

“Do you believe me?”

She nodded as she struggled to breathe. She’d assumed he did. But hearing the words while drowning in the emotion reflected in his eyes…. that packed a wallop.

“Then please believe this. I want the best for you, even if that means we’ll never be together.”

She finally found her voice. “Same here.”

“I know. I treasure that. And I’m asking you to trust me enough to go along with what sounds like a crazy plan.”

She took a deep breath. “All right. It’s absolutely nuts, but I’ll be here. I’ll check to see if I can borrow my folks’ truck.”

“No need. I’ll pick you up at one forty-five.”

And she’d lose the ability to get the hell out of there if she wanted to. “I’ll find out if there’s a problem. If they need the truck, I’ll let you know.”

“You’re afraid to let me be in charge of your transportation?”

“I don’t know what I’m getting into.”

“Fair enough. After the meeting I’m hoping we can talk. But if, when the meeting’s over, you want to go straight home, I promise to take you immediately. No questions asked.”

She heard Granny’s voice in her head. He’ll do it, luv. He’s a man of his word. “Okay then. I’ll see you at one forty-five.”

“Thank you.” He squeezed her hand and let go. “I’ll take a wild guess you’d like to go home now.”

“You read my mind. If I go back in there, Irving Quick will be waiting.”

“Can I walk you to the front door?”

Her heart melted. “That would be lovely.”

He didn’t take her hand on the way out and she wanted him to. But she’d restored a boundary when she’d balked at getting a ride over here tomorrow. He was respecting her bid for autonomy.

“Have you told your mom about the changes we made to the manuscript last night?”

“No, ma’am. Didn’t mention the Christmas idea, either.”

“Why not?”

“I want to see what she and the other Wenches come up with on their own. I don’t want them piggybacking on your suggestions.”

“I appreciate that.”

“After they’ve had their say, I think you should have yours. If they came up with the same things, you could tell them you’ve already made those suggestions. But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to. I don’t understand why we’re fast-tracking this meeting, but I’m thrilled that I’ll be able to hear their critiques.”

“I’m sure they’ll be thrilled to hear yours.”

“So why can’t we do this after Christmas, since I’ll be here until New Year’s?”

“I’ll tell you after the meeting.” He sorted through the coats piled on the coat tree and plucked out hers.

“You really can’t tell me now?” As he held her coat, she turned and put her arms in the sleeves. His warm breath caressed her cheek when he settled it on her shoulders.

“I really can’t.”

His murmured words sent heat spiraling through her body. For one electric moment, she considered asking him to follow her to his cabin. Granny would be asleep by now. He’d probably snap up that suggestion.

But she’d be taking advantage of a man who’d just said he loved her. Turning around, she buttoned her coat and fished the truck keys out of her pocket. “See you tomorrow.”

The glow in his dark eyes nearly destroyed her resolve.

Then he reached out and opened the door, letting in a blast of cold air. “Tomorrow.”

She stepped outside and the door closed behind her. Hurrying across the porch and down the steps, she paused to glance up at the night sky. The stars glittered in a dazzling display. That was something she didn’t have in Trenton.

She didn’t have the scent of evergreens mixed with the aroma of a cedar fire, either. Or a certain cowboy who had captured her heart and wouldn’t let go.

She breathed in the crisp cold air of a Montana winter night. “I love you, too, Rance McLintock.”