Saving Us (The Billionaire Brothers of NY Duology #1)

24. Harper

CHAPTER 24

Harper

M y mind was racing as fast as my heart. And my brain was a big jumble of nothingness. Not a coherent thought to be had. I couldn’t comprehend that he was standing in front of me. That he found me. That he came all the way to Florida…

For me.

“Gage.”

His eyes, those brown eyes with caramel-colored specks, searched mine, looking for an answer I knew he needed. But I didn’t have it yet.

And those warm eyes had tears in them. My heart was hurting. For him, for us.

My heart deceived me as it stole away some of my anger, dissolving it into thin air as he walked toward me.

“Gage, I…”

“Don’t mind me,” my mother said as she walked into the room, her hand blocking her face and eyes. She went straight for the kitchen, with a bag across her shoulder.

“Give me a minute,” I told him, holding up a finger.

As I walked into the kitchen, she was packing up a few things from the grocery bags we had just brought in. Turning to me, she had a wide smile on her face. She pulled me aside.

“Hey, baby, you doing okay?” she asked and wrapped me in a hug.

“I don’t know,” I told her. “I’m shocked he’s here, that’s for sure.”

She continued to hold me as we talked, and I liked the emotional support her hug was providing. The momentary break from being in the same room with him was allowing it to all sink in.

“The look on your face when you saw him told me a lot of things,” she said against my hair. “Mainly, that you missed him.”

I pulled away to look at her. “But I’m still mad at him, Mom.”

“And you’re allowed to be, but don’t let it cloud your judgment. You need to make a decision. Are you willing to walk away from him without trying to fix this? Or is he worth the work a relationship takes?”

Her hands cradled my cheeks as I let her words sink in.

“And it doesn’t hurt he’s damn fine to look at,” she said with a soft chuckle. “Don’t forget what we talked about, about compromise in relationships. It’s the cure for most ailments, trust me.”

I nodded and she let go of my face. “I’m heading out.” She reached down for her bag.

I started to protest but thought better of it. It was the right thing to do. Gage and I had a lot to talk about.

“I called a friend and I’m having a sleepover. You guys need some privacy. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Walking out to the sitting area, we found Gage standing in the middle of the room, looking completely lost. My mom walked up to him, reaching out for a hug. She whispered something in his ear, but I couldn’t hear what she said. When she pulled away, they shared a look, even a smile.

“Get him a glass of water, Harper. He’s gotta be dehydrated. And let him take a shower, he’s sweating through his clothes,” she ordered as she walked out the door.

Looking closer at him, I realized that was it. He wasn’t wet—he was sweating.

“Oh my God, Gage, are you okay?”

I rushed to the kitchen and grabbed two bottles of water from the fridge. Turning to race back, I barreled into his chest, his bare chest, since he was standing right behind me. And his shirt was wide open. His scent was still there, despite the sweat.

Cedar, leather, spice.

He always smelled of this.

It was divine.

“Here,” I said, pushing a bottle into his hand and trying to ignore that his close proximity made all the reasons I was mad at him dissipate.

He took the bottle and chugged it in one gulp. But all the while, his eyes were on me. When the bottle came away from his lips, I expected a smug smile to take shape.

But on the contrary, his look was wary. He looked…hesitant.

His downturned, bloodshot eyes looked tired. His entire body looked tired as he appeared to struggle to stay upright.

“Gage, drink the other bottle, please. You’re scaring me.”

Shaking his head was his only response.

“It’s not water I need, Harper.”

His voice cracked when he spoke, an echo of the strong Gage Parker he usually was. Looking at the ceiling, he struggled with what to say next. And I wanted to help him, somehow, but I didn’t know what to say either.

But I saw him come together.

“Harper,” he said, looking at me. “I was broken when we met, but you were fixing me. My heart was healing just by being with you. Seeing your bright smile and blue eyes reached some lost, broken part of me.”

His eyes watered, a lone tear making a path down his cheek. My hand instinctively went to his face, but he stopped me.

“No,” he almost begged. “Harper, I need to say this, to get it out.”

The guilt tore through me. What a horrible person I was. Putting myself in his position, being completely ignored and abandoned after our first fight, made me see how immature I’d been.

I nodded. His one hand went to his head, his fingers nervously running through his hair. It stuck up a bit, still wet from his profuse sweating. I wanted to smooth it out for him.

I wanted to kiss him.

And this was exactly what my mother said would happen.

If he was the one.

“Harper, I am so sorry I said those things the other night. I had no right to make those demands. Jealousy, that’s all it was. My jealousy of all the other guys that get to look at you while you’re there.”

Reaching out, I grabbed one of his hands, gripping it in mine, offering encouragement for him to say what he needed to say. Little did he know, I had already forgiven him.

He gripped my hand back.

“I’m in a place in my life where I expect people around me to do what I want them to do, need them to do.” He stopped and looked at our entwined fingers, his thumb rubbing those tiny circles against my skin I loved. “But that’s not fair to you. You’re not one of my employees, that’s not how relationships are supposed to be, not healthy ones anyway. But what I need you to understand is that me offering you that money wasn’t even like that. It wasn’t about you not working at the club. I seriously wanted to give it to you, just give it to you, because of who you are. You work so hard, and I want you to have your dream.”

“But—” I started to say.

“Please let me finish.” His hand came to my cheek, and I allowed him to cradle my face.

We were desperate for one another’s touch.

“I’ve had some failed relationships, very recently, that hit me hard. I wasn’t looking for what we’d started, but here we are. And when you took off, and I couldn’t talk to you or find you…” He stopped talking, out of necessity. His sigh, his gasp for breath, described the emotion he was dealing with. “That’s when I realized.”

He hesitated.

“I realized that you are what I want. Fights and all. You’re worth every fight we might have, but I know I’m willing to fight for us. I don’t think I’ve ever felt that way before. And it will be on your terms. Don’t take the money. I get how bold that was of me, I do. And I’m sorry. I would never want you to feel like I’m trying to buy your love. I want to earn it.”

I nodded along with everything he said, but not until he saw the tears building up in my eyes did he stop.

That was when he realized that I was not only listening but hearing him. His hand relaxed against my face. I closed my eyes as his hand wrapped around my neck, into my hair, pulling me to his chest. His chin was atop my head as he continued.

“Harper, you just leaving, me not being able to find you or talk to you…it terrified me. Like I’ve never been scared before. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t work.”

His arms tightened around me, as if he would never let go of me again. And that was when I heard the quiet sobs above me. His body shook in my arms.

“If we’re doing this,” he said, his words a whisper as his voice trembled, “if you’ll forgive me, you have to promise me you’ll never do that again. You can’t run away.”

The heaviness in my chest was enough to consume me; my heart fractured into pieces as he held me.

And then he broke.

I could barely hold him up as his body fell against mine.

My arms wrapped around his middle, struggling with his weight, as we stumbled a bit together. He steadied himself, reaching for the edge of the counter, but refused to let go.

“Gage,” I said against his chest.

Taking him by the hand, I led him to the couch in the living room. My mind raced with all he had said. Of course, I knew he was trying to apologize to me the past few days, but I had no idea about the rest of it.

We got to the couch, him sitting against the corner, and I wasn’t sure where to go. Did he want me close to him? In his arms? He still hadn’t let go of my hand as I went to settle by his side. But he pulled me, full force, onto his lap, my legs going around his, as he got a hold of my waist, keeping me in place.

“I’m not letting you go,” he said, looking up at me. “I need you close, Harper.”

We’d been in this position before, several times. But as his fingers dug into my hips and his eyes pierced mine with his look, there was nothing sexual about this. There was a desperation to his touch.

He needed confirmation. About so many things.

His beard was thicker than normal, a sign of him not grooming for a day or two. I rubbed my fingers through the whiskers, the hair softer than when it was short.

I knew what he needed but had to make sure to get it right. He deserved that after these past few days.

“Gage.” But my words got caught.

Then he pulled me close so quickly our chests collided, as my hands flew to his shoulders.

“Harper, all I want to know is if you forgive me,” he said as his hands moved to my face, holding it with tender fingers. His lips trembled with emotion, on the border of breaking again, as he waited for me to answer him.

“Of course I do, but I owe you an apology, too.”

His mouth crashed into mine with such ferocity it almost hurt. But then he started murmuring words against my lips, incoherent thoughts. Moving my mouth from his, he held us close, forcing our foreheads together.

And his silent sobs started again.

“I thought I’d lost you.”

His stifled cry was painful to hear.

“Gage, calm down.” Stroking his face, his breathing finally evened out. “I see now what I’ve done to you, and I’m so sorry. It was an immature response to our situation.”

But then his tears started in earnest again. It seemed nothing I could do would remedy what he was feeling.

“I don’t like that I felt so broken without you,” he said. His head fell back against the cushion, avoiding looking at me. “And I don’t know if we’re moving too fast.”

His words tore me up, but I knew to let him get it all out. He brought his eyes back to mine.

“It’s not that I can’t live without you, Harper. It’s that I don’t want to.”

The tenderness that took over his face, his look, his eyes, moved me. Like magnets, our mouths were drawn to each other’s, the kiss tender. His lips soft against mine, his gentle reminder that we were fixing us.

With his hands moving under my legs, he started repositioning me on his lap. “Let me hold you.”

I fell into the corner of his shoulder as he held me like a child, cocooned by his arms across his legs. His hand that came around me rubbed my arm, and his breathing became rhythmic.

“Can I get you anything? You must be starving,” I said, trying to sit up.

But he held me in place firmly.

“What about a shower? Will that make you feel better?” I asked.

I felt the shake of his head without looking up.

“Uh-uh. I’ve got everything I need right here.” His words were quiet, even slow.

And he was asleep within minutes.