Scars and Burns (No Light Without the Dark #1)

20. Dinalia

20

Dinalia

W e’re gathered in King Elio’s study. He summoned Saphrina and myself here early this morning. Why he couldn’t have even given us a day to mourn is beyond me.

We stand side by side in front of his obnoxiously large desk. He hasn’t even arrived yet. Arrogant pig. Requesting us here when he couldn’t bother to be on time.

I’m not sure what he intends to discuss, but has to be about our Mother. It is the only common denominator we have.

He finally arrives from a side door. Pausing briefly as he shuts it. Taking us both in.

I stand looking straight ahead. Head held high. Hands together behind me. While Saphrina seems more timid. On edge. She’s got one foot on the ground and the other is teetering behind her. The toe of her shoe balances on the ground. She has one arm down in front of her and the other crossed over her torso. Hand clasped around the opposite elbow.

He shuts the door, walking over to his desk, and takes a seat. He motions for us to sit. We look at each other and both take a seat at the same time.

It’s clear he has something important to say. He glances between the two of us a few times. His fingers intertwined under his chin. As he rests his elbows on his desk, he says, “I know Dinalia is already aware of this but last night during the raid we lost your Mother.”

I tuck my lips between my teeth. Holding back my tears. I let my rage slip last night when I found her. Threatening the King’s life for thinking he had been the one who killed her. He just glared down at me, said no, and walked away. I collapsed next to her dead body after that. Letting a few tears fall down my face as I made my apology for not protecting her. For not being enough. I released a blast of my magic in aggression. The room caught fire. I quickly put the flames out not wanting to burn the castle down even more.

I feel Saphrina look over at me. Eyes wide open in shock. Saphrina and Mother weren’t estranged but they weren’t close either. Just distant. She was put up on a pedestal since the day she was born. That never really sat well with our Mother. Along with the fact that King Elio was entirely too overbearing of her. Tracking all of her lessons and progress. Barely even giving Mother a chance to bond with her. But Saphrina knew how close Mother and I were. Knew the bond we shared. Jealous of it. Probably even resented me for it. Which is why she’s always been a little cross with me.

I just look at King Elio. His eyes meet mine but give nothing away. Neither of us speak. Only Saphrina, “So… so what are we going to do? How did the Shadowlings even get in? Why did they attack us? How are we going to get back at them?”

King Elio gives a small smile. Amused by Saphrina’s naivety. “Saphrina, this isn’t as simple as you think. We can’t simply… get back… at the Shadowlands, as you put it. King Perseus is ruthless. Deadly. His shadow magic is not to be underestimated. And his son is becoming even worse.”

His son. He has been mentioned before. That night the bargain was struck with King Charon of the Celestial Realm. He was only nine then and already making a name for himself. I wonder if he was here last night.

Saphrina slumps back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “Okay, so what do we do?”

King Elio’s smile gets even wider. Leaning back in his chair, he says, “You wed Prince Proteus.”

She sits up straighter in her chair. ”Really? But I’m only two and ten.”

“You will not wed him right away. Not until you are of age. These next years, we will prepare you to wed him. You will learn what it is to rule a Kingdom, to be a wife.”

At that I raise a brow. My Mother told me the duty of being a wife when I came of age. The deed that needs to be done to produce children for their husbands. The men tend to enjoy it more than we do. More of a choir for us to complete. The intimacy that can come with the action of making children. But my Mother also discussed with me the pleasures of being a woman. Explaining the complexity of our bodies. I smile to myself. Is King Elio going to discuss that with Saphrina too?

“You will also start magic training with Dinalia.” King Elio says.

We both sit up a bit straighter. Why would King Elio want me to train Saphrina in magic?

Saphrina scrunches her face, “Why?” Clear annoyance in her voice. The feeling is mutual.

King Elio slaps his hands down flat on the desk. Standing, “Because I said so Saphrina. Your Mother was a powerful magic wielder and she never taught you a thing, while teaching Dinalia everything. Your magic is about to change and you will need someone close and discrete to teach you. ”

“Discrete?” I cut in, “Why would she need someone discrete? How is her magic about to change?”

King Elio glares at me and I return it with just as much venom. I kept quiet and composed all these years for my Mother’s sake. For all she’s done for me but she’s not here anymore. And if King Elio wants to get into it then let the turmoil unravel.

I know Saphrina’s magic has not progressed the way he has expected. I know much more than he realizes.

“You will train her and teach her everything you know. And in return you may stay here.”

I grip the arms of my chair. I’m tempted to tell him to go screw himself. Why would I want to stay here anyway? But even if I left, where would I go? I have nothing. No family to go find. No home to return to.

I relax, sighing, “Very well”

Saphrina glances between the two of us. “Uh, don’t I get a say in this?”

We both avert our gaze at the same time to her. “No,” King Elio says matter of factly, “You both may go. I have funeral matters to tend to.”

We stand, bowing simultaneously. I turn and exit the room first. I hear Saphrina start to speak but quickly changes her mind. Following me out of the room.

“Dinalia!” I hear her call after me. Her footsteps increase as she tries to catch up to me. “Dinalia, please!”

I sigh, slowing my pace. She’s a little out of breath by the time she does catch up to me. “Thank you” she says, still trying to match my pace.

I don’t even look down at her. Still intent on leaving the castle. “We will start tomorrow at dawn.”

She gasps, “Dawn! Why so early?”

I halt right then and there. Turning to her, looking her straight in the eyes, “Because I said so. Listen Saphrina, I am not going to be like your other teachers. I am not going to baby you, coddle you. I am not going to spare your feelings because you are a princess or because you are blessed by the Goddess.” I turn, continuing towards my destination.

She follows. Giving me a weary laugh before starting, “Yeah about that, the Goddess mark. It’s gone.”

I pause for a moment. Glance over at her before continuing my walk. “It hasn’t switched places? Appeared somewhere else on your body? Sometimes it will do that without notice.” Having experienced that myself recently.

I’m wearing a high cross over jacket to be sure to cover my Goddess mark. I’m still trying to process what it means.

“Um, no it’s in the same place as before but it’s no longer complete. It’s just a single crescent moon.” I’m turning the corner onto the patio to my Mother’s garden when she says that. I freeze and turn to her. Grabbing and pulling her arm to me. I turn over her wrist to expose her Goddess mark.

It’s not gone like she said. It’s fading. One of the crescent moons is gone and the full moon in the middle is gradually disappearing. But she is correct, only one single crescent moon remains solid.

I’m staring down at her mark. Contemplating what this could mean. When I slowly glance up. My eyes begin to scan my Mother’s garden. My heart sinks even more. The garden is dying.

My eyes frantically scan the area. Every plant is dying. Withering away. Wilting and turning brown.

No, this was our place. We spent every day here together. This is where I unlocked my magic. This is where she held me when I cried.

Not able to face this. I release Saphrina’s wrist and just start running into the forest. Tears swelling in my eyes. A lump forming in my throat. I can’t let her see me cry. I can’t let anyone see me cry. I cannot be this weak. I cannot be this worthless. I run straight for my favorite spot. Not bothering to slow or turn around as I hear Saphrina calling after me.

* * *

I’m sitting in the forest in my favorite spot. Not sure how to proceed. Cookie is gone. My Mother is gone. They’re dead. They faced the Shadowlings alone. They died alone.

I should have been there for my Mother. I should have gone to her first thing.

But where were her guards?

The moment I saw King Elio. I immediately thought he killed her. She didn’t look like herself. Her hair and skin were a different shade than I grew up with. Her eyes closed. A stab wound right through her chest. Directly entering her heart. Lying there in a pool of her own blood.

I didn’t want to get into how I knew my Mother was not from the Celestial Realm. Too enraged to confront King Elio about it. Remembering the conversation I eavesdropped in on.

I never got a chance to speak to her about that. Goddess, what am I going to do now? I have so many questions. My last conversation with my Mother still haunts my thoughts. She said I had a mate. She believed I was an extraordinary Fae. She told me I was a rare star whose light could not be matched. She reminded me of blood for blood. I don’t understand any of that. My Mother always seemed to know something I didn’t. I just thought that came with being a mom. But that last conversation was so odd. So out of the ordinary for her. I still have so many questions. I’m more confused now than ever and I need my Mother. She was always my sense of direction. My guidance in life when I didn’t know where to turn. She was my home.

Now my home is gone. Shattered into a million pieces. Ripped right out from under me. Along with my heart. My soul.

I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything but cry. My eyes are swollen. My throat is raw.

I don’t know how to handle her death. On top of that I am supposed to start training Saphrina in magic.

I was sure King Elio was going to kick me out of the castle or even banish me. He despises me enough to do so. Instead, he tasks me with developing Saphrina’s magic.

I didn’t understand it then and I don’t fully understand it now. King Elio said Saphrina’s magic was about to change. I would assume he thought it was changing for the better. But with her goddess mark fading there’s no way that is the case.

Saphrina never showed any signs of extraordinary magic. No signs of magic at all. Even though she has been supposedly blessed by our Goddess. Now her mark is fading from complete to a single crescent moon. What could that mean? I wish my Mother was here. She would know. Or would at least know where to start and what to say.

I didn’t think my heart could sink much lower but when I saw my Mother’s garden. I lost the last fraction of her I had left. She grew that garden. Nourished it. She told me once she did not create life. She simply helped it flourish from the life that was already there. I guess now that she is gone. The magic she put into helping the garden grow fades too.

I recall the look of worry my Mother had the day Saphrina was born.

Is that what is happening with Saphrina?

I stand to return to the castle. Still needing to sort out the little cub I brought home. That’s when I sense them. Someone is watching me. I slowly unsheathe my blades. Ready to attack when I hear, “Don’t bother. You won’t win.”

I turn. Shock pours through me when I see him. The same boy from all those years ago.

Boy turned into a man now.

He’s different and yet the same.

He’s tall. Maybe the tallest man I’ve ever seen. He’s covered head to toe in black clothing. Ugh, typical Shadowling, only ever wearing black to match their souls. My eyes scan over his body. His demeanor. He’s leaning up against a thick tree. Though somehow it doesn’t look near as thick with him next to it. Arms crossed over his chest. His black jacket is a loose style but he’s so huge it’s tight around his muscles. Still exposing his toned arm. Gripping his massive shoulders. Not able to fully close over what I am sure is a very impressive chest and torso. His pants aren’t as tight but it leaves little to the imagination. The thick and long outline of his dick still on display.

My eyes linger far too long there. Giving him a chance to smirk and say, “See anything you like?”

I snicker at his remark. “Hardly. What are you doing here? Lost again?”

His stature doesn’t change. “What makes you think I was lost before?”

I roll my eyes, “Because I come here quite often and you had never been before nor have you been since. Leading me to the conclusion that you did not mean to be here.”

“Well, that’s very presumptuous of you. Maybe I just didn’t like what I saw.”

I huff, “Well, you weren’t the first and you won’t be the last. Now, I ask again, what are you doing here? ”

He relaxes. Pushes himself off the tree, lowering his arms to his side. Stepping forward a bit. He seems to somber a little before saying, “I am here to offer my condolences for your Mother.”

Anger rushes through me. The wound is still too fresh. How does he know who I am? How does he know about her death?

Unless… he was there.

My magic comes to life. Blasting me forward. Pushing him into the tree. He towers over me and could easily overpower me just like any other opponent. But before he can my blades are in fatal positions. My dominant blade lay across his throat. My other one pointed directly at his side. Both ready to bleed him out with one quick move. “Were you there? Did you kill her?” I ask through gritted teeth.

He looks down at me. No worry in his eyes. Just sorrow and sadness. As if he truly does feel remorse for my loss.

“Don’t make me ask again. Did you kill her?”

He smiles, “You just did, but no little light I did not kill her.” My face relaxes. Little light. That’s what Cookie and Mother call - called - me.

He takes advantage of my moment of wavering. He grabs both my wrists. Twisting us around so I am now pinned up against the tree. Knocking the breath out of me. The bark of the tree cutting into my hands as he slams them above my head.

He leans over me. Pressing his body into my own. His legs planted beside mine. Goddess he’s built like a mountain. I feel his dick, not even hard, and still so prominent right on my stomach.

He cranes his head down. His lips brush my neck. Trailing up to my ear before dragging across my cheek.

My heart is pounding. I’m sure he can hear it. My mind and body are screaming. Wriggling against him. The bastard. He was a part of the raid from last night. I’m sure of it. The arrogance that befalls him. The balls he has to confront me about my Mother. To act like he cares, offering me sorrow. Then pinning me against a tree. Invading my personal space. He knows who I am. He knows I am a Lady. And although I have never acted or wanted to be one. This stranger. This motherfucking Shadowling should at least show me the decency and respect of one.

I despise him. I hate him. He’s a monster. Just like the stories say about the people from the Shadowlands.

And yet, he’s awakened something inside of me.

I press my thighs together as I feel his hot breath skitter across my skin, causing my pussy to flutter.

There’s a burning inside of me. A longing. A pulsing need at my center that I’m not sure what it means.

He pulls his face away from mine. Looking me directly in the eyes. I stare back. His eyes, just as I remember but far more intense up close. They are brilliant. Deep pools of blue I could get lost in.

I scan the rest of his face. It’s flawless. His tan skin complimenting his black hair. The vibrancy of his eyes shining. His defined jaw leading to his muscular form.

He swallows. I watch the movement diligently down his throat. That’s where the imperfections begin.

I remember the marks on his skin from before. I couldn’t make out what they were. He was too far away. But now, so close it is clear. They are burns. Wrapping around his neck like a collar. I can tell some have aged. Seeing the healed skin underneath while some maybe not even a few days old.

How did he come by these I wonder? What sort of person would strangle another with fire? Burning them. Mutilating their skin. But not kill them. Even for training purposes that is cruel.

I clench my jaws. He watches my every movement intently. “You’re a fighter. You have so much inside of you. Rage. Fire. Shame. Guilt.” He pauses, “Darkness”.

I glanced at him for a moment. How would he know what’s inside of me?

He moves my wrist. Now holding both of them in one hand. Drawing his other down my face and neck. His touch is gentle and soft. A caress I’ve never felt before. His fingers meet my jacket. Dipping in between the overlapping fabric. Pulling down slightly exposing my goddess mark.

I look down as he does. My head shoots up back to him. His eyes linger on my mark. How does he know about it? How does he know it’s there?

He looks back up at me. Gives me one more up and down look and pulls away. Releasing me from the tree and backing away.

I cover myself back up quickly. Holding my blades out again but not near as confident.

“I am truly sorry for your loss.” Then he vanishes in a cloud of black smoke.

So, Shadowlings can teleport. I’ve heard tales about their different abilities depending on the Fae. Their blue fire with black shadow magic that infects your minds. Presenting you with your deepest fears before it rips your soul apart. But I’ve never seen that one before.

Just as he vanishes I realize something. I chill settling over me again. A chill I had grown so used to I didn’t even realize was gone. Too enraptured with my adrenaline and the massive man pinning me to a tree. I didn’t notice the warmth spreading throughout my body.

All because of him.