Scars and Burns (No Light Without the Dark #1)

29. Dinalia

29

Dinalia

I stand outside the door as the page announces my presence. King Elio only summons me to his study when he wants to discuss Saphrina. I am not his ward. Not his step-daughter. I am just another person who he allowed to stay because I was of use to him.

I enter. He is sitting at his desk. A fire burning in the hearth to my right. Casting a glow throughout the room that makes it feel even more ominous.

I stand directly in front of him across his desk with my hands collapsed behind me. “You sent for me, Your Grace.”

He’s sifting through some papers. Giving them one more glance before setting them aside. “Yes, I wanted to speak with you.” He sets the papers aside and interlocks his hands in front of him. Motioning for me to have a seat.

I don’t take it. Knowing this won’t take long.

He peers up at me, “Is there a reason you will not have a seat?”

“Is there a reason I must?”

Giving me a small huff, “Always so spirited and defiant.” He let’s out a breath. “Very well, no need for formalities. Since we are old friends. ”

Well that’s one way to put it.

“As you know Saphrina is now of age. Prince Proteus will be here in a matter of weeks for their official betrothal celebrations. The nobles of both the Celestial Realm and Shadowlands have been invited. The celebrations typically last for three months. Giving them time to plan the details of the ceremony and sealing the bond at the end. They shall be married under the Harvest Moon. The first full moon of our new year. The same light they were both born under. Once all this has come to pass Saphrina will leave with Prince Proteus to the Celestial Realm. When she goes, so will you. I don’t care where you go so long as it is out of this castle. If you find someone of noble birth from the Middle Kingdom and marry them I will allow you to stay. But if not, you will leave my Kingdom for good. Are we understood?”

I keep my face stoic. Sure to not show any emotion. I can’t say I am overly surprised by his words or these terms. I knew he never wanted me here. He only allowed me to come because he wanted my Mother and what she could provide him. And after her death he only allowed me to stay because he needed someone to provide Saphrina with magic lessons. Now that she will be leaving he has no further use for me.

I don’t even meet his gaze. Don’t deign him that respect. I stare straight ahead and say, “Understood.”

“Good. You may go.”

I turn to leave but he stops me halfway out the door. “One more thing.” I glance back at him. “You will not explore anyone from the Shadowlands. You will not spark any intrigue. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Your Grace.” I say flatly.

He nods his head. Satisfied with our interaction.

I take my leave. Shutting the door harshly behind me.

It’s nearly dawn. Perhaps a few hours until first light. I’ve been up for almost twenty-four hours. Not bothering to head back to my chamber. I make my way to my Mother’s garden. Or what used to be her garden.

Although it all withered away after her death I still come here for comfort. Occasionally, Saphrina and I hold her magic lessons here. Attempting to nourish and harness the life that was once here.

I have managed it myself. Not to the extent of my Mother’s but a small patch of my own. My Mother’s garden bloomed with a multitude of colors and a variety of plants that fill the forest. Mine is rather different.

While I have my small patch. I’ve only ever been able to grow one thing. A flower I’ve never seen before. And with all the time I spend in the forest. I am sure it’s not there. I’ve come to know all the plants. Perhaps it is from a different area of the forest I haven’t ventured to. A species of plant that is in the Celestial Realm. They couldn’t be from the Shadowlands. The forest begins to die once it reaches the borders. Leading into the Forest of Despair where nothing grows.

Not able to sleep. I decided to practice.

I place my palms flat on the ground. Pushing my magic out of me, willing the life to take form. I close my eyes and when I open them I see a flower blooming.

Sighing, I slump down. Same as before. And I don’t even know what species of flower it is. How can I grow something I’ve never even seen?

The flower has layers and layers of petals. The outer petals are the same purple hue of my eyes while the centers are soft black.

“Why are you the only thing I grow?”

I must have lost my mind because I’m talking to a plant.

Nevertheless, I smile at my work anyway. I twirl my hand over it, drizzling my magic down.

This might be the favorite development I’ve made in my magic. I’ve been able to isolate the starlight sparks of my flame. It’s soft and gentle. Beautiful and elegant. Unlike the rest of me.

I sprinkle it over the flower the same way I use to sprinkle powdered sugar over the sweets I use to make in the kitchens.

The flower grows even larger as my starlight magic falls down upon it. I may not know what kind of flower it is or why it is the only thing I am able to grow. But it still is quite beautiful.

I lean back on my heels. Thinking about the conversation, if you can call that a conversation, with King Elio.

Do I want to marry? Not because I am worried about finding someone willing to marry me. Though it may have its challenges. But do I want to bind myself to someone for the rest of my life? A life I haven’t even begun to live and explore. What lies past the three realms? What promises, adventure, opportunities could it provide?

Regardless of what my Mother once said. Incomplete or not. My soul is my own and mine alone.

“What are you doing out here?” I’m startled. Pulled from my thoughts. I must have been lost in thought because it’s rare for someone to sneak up on me.

I glance over my shoulder to find Saphrina. Up before dawn that’s impressive. There must be something on her mind.

Exhaling, I peer back down to my flower, “I could ask the same thing of you.”

She walks over to me. Kneeling down beside me. “Couldn’t sleep.” She says, “You?”

“Your Father summoned me to his study.”

“At this hour?” I can hear the suspicion in her tone. “What did he want?”

She won’t take the news well. Her and I have become true sisters since our Mother’s death. Confiding in one another. Her more so than me, but that’s just our nature. She needs someone for support more than I do. Her resilience is fragile and could easily become overwhelmed if not able to lean on someone else.

She’s been worrying about her marriage to Prince Proteus for the last few months, now that she is officially of age. Concerned about leaving the Middle Kingdom. I don’t believe she’s even been past the village in the square.

I’ve only met Prince Proteus once. If you can even call that meeting. We locked eyes years ago when I fled to the capital city of Akino after our village was raided. Our eyes lingered on one another for far too long but I don’t think anyone noticed. I was curious about him. His own features differing from those around him much like mine but he is honored and praised while I am afforded no such comfort. I’m not sure why our eyes stayed glued to one another’s for so long but not having given it another thought since. I am curious though to see how he has grown.

I can feel her eyes on me. Not sure how to say this to her. Knowing she’d offer to let me come join her in the Celestial Realm but I could never take her up on that. Nor would either of us know if Prince Proteus would even allow me to join.

Sighing, I finally say, “When you leave for the Celestial Realm I must leave the Middle Kingdom as well. Unless I find a nobleman to marry me.”

She thinks on this for a moment and then exclaims in excitement. “Ah! This is great! Now you can come with me to the Celestial Realm!”

I don’t know how to tell her I don’t want to come with her to the Celestial Realm. As happy as I am to have her as my sister. I can’t stay by her side on this next journey in her life. I must venture out on my own and discover what else could be out there for me. Find a home for myself.

Hesitantly I start, “Saphrina, I - I don’t thi”

“No, it’s perfect!” She cuts me off. “I was so worried about leaving for the Celestial Realm without you. And now you can come with me. Of course! Nothing is keeping you here in the Middle Kingdom!”

I turn slightly to face her. “Saphrina, we don’t even know if Prince Proteus will allow me to return with you.”

She looks at me confused. “Does… does that mean you want to stay here in the Middle Kingdom and find a nobleman to wed?”

“What?! No, that’s not what I am saying. I don’t think anyone here would wed me anyway but that’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?” Her tone rising. She doesn’t understand. She’s known she was going to marry Prince Proteus all her life. Known all along she would have to leave and have a new home waiting for her.

The anger rising in her is not actually for me. She’s just scared. Worried that Prince Proteus won’t like her. Or there won’t be a connection.

I take her hands in mine, “Saphrina, look at me please.” She’s looking down to the ground. Shoulders slumped over. The biggest frown I’ve ever seen on her face.

“Please?” I ask again.

She peers up at me, slowly, through her lashes. Always the dramatics with her. “Hear what I say. It is not that I do not want to be in your life or have you in mine. But…” I sigh, “All my life I have followed another. Living at the mercy of someone else. I stayed here all this time after Mother passed for you. So I could train you, care for you, make sure you were alright. Now, you are about to marry the man you have been betrothed to all your life. Prince Proteus is known to be kind, generous, and loving. He will take good care of you in my absence. And you…” I push a piece of hair being her ear, “you have grown into the most elegant princess. Your magic is strong. You know who you are.”

“I’m scared.”

“I know you are. ”

“What if he doesn’t like me? What if all I’ve been raised for, what I’ve become isn’t what he is wanting? What if we aren’t actually meant to be?”

I look at her with admiration. “There is a reason you are allowed three months before the ceremony. It gives you a chance to get to know one another.”

We share a look. Her mouth formed a small smile at my words. I’ve gotten better at this whole comfort thing over the years.

“And I’ll tell you something else. Although this marriage was a plot between your parents and neither of you have had a say in the matter. Our Goddess’s light does not lie. The alliance was made under the light of a full moon. And both of you were born under that light. Being born under a full moon is rare. There will be a bond between the two of you. I can’t be sure of what it will be but have no doubt there will be one.”

We embrace in a hug. Satisfied with what I have told her.

Pulling away, she asks me, “So, after I leave where will you go? Or do you think you’ll find a nobleman to marry?”

I look at her with just as much uncertainty as I feel. Not even trying to hide it. “I don’t think I’ll find a nobleman to marry me. Nor do I think I want to stay in the Middle Kingdom.”

“Where do you want to go?”

“I’m not sure. Maybe beyond the three realms. Explore what else is out there. What life could be.”

“Wherever you go. I will miss you.”

I caress her hair, “Know this, wherever either of us go. We will always be sisters. Regardless of the distance. If you should need me. I will come.”

“Promise?”

I give her a small smile. Hugging her one last time. “Promise.”