Scars and Burns (No Light Without the Dark #1)

40. Dinalia

40

Dinalia

S aphrina practically pulled me all the way to my chambers. Pushing me into my room and shutting the door.

“What is going on with you?” I ask, tone slightly concerned but more irritated if anything.

“I’m sorry for the abruptness but I have something very important to tell you.”

I stare at her. A blank expression on my face. “Okay, what is it?”

Her smile reaches ear to ear. She’s giddy. Like a little girl who just found out she’s getting a pony or something. “I feel a pull!”

My eyebrows shoot toward my hairline. I’m glad she feels a pull but I am also very surprised. Unique in her own way, mates are supposed to be incredibly rare. Only given by the Goddess to those of extraordinary power and purpose. Sure, Saphrina is the princess to the most powerful and wealthy realm but extraordinary power is not associated with her. Not with her lack of magical abilities and small Goddess mark.

I force a smile to my face, “Th-that’s great! I’m so glad more has developed between you and Prince Proteus.”

She shifts her eyes down. Turning and walking away from me. Looking into the fire that always burns in my room. “That’s the thing. I don’t feel a pull towards Prince Proteus. He’s kind and sweet and handsome and maybe in time there could be something but there’s just not.”

Interesting.

“Oh, then who do you feel a pull towards?”

She faces me. A closed smile on her face. Almost as if she is trying to contain her excitement.

“Aeron. I feel a pull towards Prince Aeron!”

I don’t bother to hide my shock.

One because she is betrothed to another and two because this is like a knife to the heart. Though there is no cause for it. At least there shouldn’t be.

I haven’t actually felt a thing in years. Just going through the motions of what is my life. But the truth is, there has always been something there for him. Something I can’t explain. A want. A longing. A need.

I didn’t want to admit it. Didn’t want to acknowledge it. Not after everything the Shadowlands have put me through. Forcing me to flee my home. Raiding the castle that led to my Mother’s death.

But after Saphrina revealed that he could be her mate, what little feelings I did have left shattered. My heart sinks into my stomach. My soul lost for all eternity. Falling further into the abyss. The blank empty hole that my mind has been wandering for years.

I thought he and I could have been bonded. Denying it to myself but something was there nonetheless. The heat that radiates my body when he is near. The way I can instantly feel his eyes on me. His eyes that I get lost in every time I see them. The way my breath hitches when he touches me. The fact that he is the only one who makes me feel warm and whole again. The few moments we’ve shared. Our unspoken communication. Our mind and bodies co-existing when we fought. Moving as one. I had never had any of this with another before. And if he is truly Saphrina’s mate then I must push it all aside.

Though the thought of seeing him with her. His hands and arms around her. Touching her the way I longed to be touched by him. Sends me into a frenzy.

A frenzy I can’t expose. Saphrina cannot know of any of this. None of what I feel can ever come to light.

I straighten out my face, “When did this pull begin?”

“I think it was always there. He drew my eyes to him from the moment he walked into the grand hall at the Greeting. I thought it was just because he was so intimidating and I was aware of his reputation. But the few moments, alone, that we’ve shared together have made me feel -” She pauses, “I don’t know. Seen.”

“Seen?”, she nods, “In what way has he made you feel seen?”

She looks up to the ceiling, mouth ajar, as if she is trying to find the right words to get her point across. “He’s made me feel seen as more than just someone blessed by the Goddess. Someone more than just to fulfill my Father’s alliance. More than just a prophecy. He saw me for me. As a person. For who I am. He made me feel extraordinary.”

Taking in a few deep breaths. Trying to process what Saphrina has just told me. “So what? You want to marry Aeron now? Forgoing the marriage and alliance with the Celestial Realm?”

“Well, I haven’t worked it all out yet but yes that is the gist of it.”

I bring my hands together over my mouth in a prayer form. She has no idea the implications this could have. “Saphrina, this alliance has been years in the making. Your Father is not someone to cross. Do you really think he will just let you walk away?”

“He will! I know he will! He loves me! And once he realizes Aeron is my mate he will be overjoyed! Confirming I am just as extraordinary and blessed by the Goddess as everyone thought!”

“It’s not that simple! Your Father is not a forgiving man. He will not let you destroy all he has worked to build. He wants this alliance so he can take over the Shadowlands and end their kingdom forever. He thinks he is the king destined to bring peace to the three realms. Achieving that by using you and desecrating the only land that poses a threat. Do not believe for one moment, one second, that he would allow you to marry the prince of the kingdom he wishes to annihilate.”

We’ve never spoken to each other like this. I’ve always done my best to be soft with her. She has a kind heart and a pure soul. Sheltered and naive. She has no idea how cruel this world can be.

Tears are welling in her eyes. I can see her lip starting to quiver.

I digress. Releasing a sigh and relaxing my shoulders. I didn’t mean for this to get out of hand. Perhaps, I went off on her for my own feelings toward Aeron. Maybe there really is a pull between the two of them and their souls are fated together.

Maybe I’ve been wrong and imagined something between Aeron and myself.

Perhaps, there is nothing there.

Nothing for me.

I walk over to her. Taking her hands in mine, “Have you confirmed the bond between the two of you.”

She shakes her head. She’s looking down at our hands or her feet. I can’t really tell. I peer up at her. Though she is taller than me I still have a dominant stance compared to her. I lift her chin so her eyes meet mine. “I am not saying he is not your mate. Only you two can feel what is between you. All I am saying is be sure that it is a bond from our Goddess and not infatuation with a dark handsome prince. Literally.”

We both share a little laugh.

“Your Father has much in play that neither of us are aware of. The fate of nations is at stake. You do not want to risk allowing darkness to descend on us by empowering the Shadowlands. I can’t imagine what they would do if they harnessed the strength of your kingdom.”

She sniffs, “What should I do?”

“Confirm the bond with Aeron. Before you change alliances. We have no idea how your Father or the Celestial Realm will react to this news. You want to be sure Aeron feels a pull towards you as well.” Nodding, she embraces me in a hug.

We pull away, “And Saphrina, I know you don’t feel anything for Prince Proteus. But if Aeron does not return the bond you must go through with the marriage. The marriage will protect you but it is also your duty. Not as someone blessed by the Goddess. But as the Princess and future of the Middle Kingdom.”

“You’re right. I need to start thinking like a ruler.”

I nod at her. My eyes fixated on hers. Hiding the turmoil that rages inside of me. I’m really going to need to let loose later.

“Now, let’s go pick out some dresses!” Saphrina squeals.

I just smile and laugh. So much for thinking like a ruler.

Changing into the only other dress that I have. We depart for the modiste.