SEALed Under the Mistletoe

Chapter 4

CHAPTER 4

KNOX

M odern Day

Knox gazed out the airplane window, watching the patchwork of fields and highways roll by far below. His knee throbbed dully, a constant reminder of the injury that had ended his career deploying to combat as a Navy SEAL. He shifted in his seat, trying to find a comfortable position.

“First time going to Colorado?” The elderly woman next to him smiled warmly.

“No, ma'am,” Knox replied with a polite nod, hoping the sweet lady wasn’t the chatty type. He wasn’t in the mood for small talk. He’d be polite. His mother raised him right, but hopefully when he put his earbuds in, she’d get the message. “But it's been a while.”

After the flight attendant gave them the spiel about safety, and Knox knocked back a couple of Tylenol, he put in the noise canceling earbuds and leaned back in his seat.

Three hours later, as the plane began its descent into Denver, Knox's mind drifted to his new assignment as an instructor at Little River. It wasn't the same as being in the field, but at least he could still serve in some capacity. Still, a familiar restlessness gnawed at him. He wasn't ready to be sidelined. He knew, right after the bullet sliced through him and before they’d carried him off on a stretcher that his door kicking days were over. He’d held on to hope, but his gut had been right. His gut was always right.

Knox slung his duffel over one shoulder and headed toward the car rental area. As he made his way through the terminal, he caught sight of the snow capped majestic Rocky Mountains looming in the distance and couldn’t wait to snowboard with his brothers. Despite everything, a smile tugged at his lips. Maybe this trip would do him some good after all.

As Knox exited baggage claim and turned the corner to the car rental area, he spotted his two brothers, Carson and Campbell, immediately. They were both dressed in jeans and flannel shirts, looking like they'd just stepped out of an L.L. Bean catalog. He almost laughed, as it was a far cry from their usual military garb. The jovial atmosphere of families reuniting for the holidays swirled around them. He grinned, it’d been too long since all of them had been together. With four brothers on active duty across the world, it was hard to schedule leave that coincided. Luck was in their favor this Christmas. Although, it didn’t feel much like luck to Knox. If he hadn’t been shot, he’d be across the world on a mission with his team. Or rather, his former team.

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Campbell called out, giving Knox a once-over. “You finally make it back stateside and don’t even call to let your brothers know? Hurtful, man.” The amusement in Campbell’s eyes took away from the curtness in his tone.

“I didn’t want to see anyone while in recovery. I knew you’d be on a plane the second you found out,” Knox said quietly.

Campbell rolled his eyes but hugged him anyway. “So, how’s the knee?”

Knox shrugged, attempting to downplay the injury. “It’s fine. Been worse.”

“Liar,” Campbell grunted, giving Knox a look that said he wasn’t buying it. “Well, at least you’re still in one piece, more or less.”

“Well, it’s about damn time you got here,” Carson drawled, reaching out to take one of his bags. “Next time, don't dawdle in Africa.”

“I thought you'd be too busy commanding your new company to come to the wedding,” Knox countered with a smirk, shaking his hand before pulling him into a bear hug that almost crushed him.

“Nah, I left them in good hands, just for you guys,” Carson said dryly. “Besides, how much trouble can a brand-new group of SEALs right out of BUD/S get into?” He shook his head. “Don’t answer that.”

“I never thought you’d be the desk jockey type,” Campbell said to Carson.

“Eh. Me neither but I’m this close to retirement. Finishing up my career with some goddamn peace and quiet will be nice after everything I’ve been through,” Carson responded.

Knox winced as they made their way to the car rental line, his knee protesting every step. “Yeah? Well, you can have my share of 'peace and quiet.' I'd rather be back out there.” He gestured vaguely towards the tarmac where planes were arriving and departing. “At least being a desk jockey means you're still in the thick of things.”

Campbell clapped him on the back. “Give it time, little brother. You never know what life has in store.”

They reached the counter, where Campbell took charge of the rental details. It took a few minutes of back-and-forth banter with the rental agent, but soon they had their keys, and the three brothers made their way to the SUV waiting for them in the lot outside.

“So, did Lewis finally confirm?” Knox asked as he heaved his bag into the back.

“Lewis won't be here for a couple more days due to some mission that came up,” Campbell said.

“He’s booked a flight for Thursday, but knowing his travel luck, he might just accidentally miss it and end up here Friday,” Carson added.

“Yeah, we will be lucky if he ends up here in time for the wedding on Saturday,” Knox agreed. Poor Lewis had the worst time traveling. Every single flight he either missed, got delayed, got canceled, ran late, lost his luggage or had some mishap or another. No one in the family ever wanted to travel with him, as his bad luck always ended up rubbing off on his travel companions, too. Once, while flying home from a training exercise in Colorado, his flights got canceled due to snow. In May. He missed Mother’s Day, arriving the day after.

It didn’t escape Knox’s notice when Campbell opened the front door and motioned for him to get in. Their entire lives, ever since they were little boys, the group had yelled, “shotgun!” as soon as they approached a vehicle. The person who said it first, got to ride up front. Knox knew the treatment was because of his injury. He’d already gone through plenty of physical therapy and was cleared to ski and snowboard this weekend. He knew to listen to his body, of course. It irritated him that the military cleared him to do all the things he used to do, but refused to put him back on deployment rotation.

After a few minutes of silence, Campbell, never one to shy away from prying, glanced over from the back seat. “So, what about you, Knox? Any… ladies in your life you want to tell us about?”

Knox rolled his eyes. “Why are you two always so interested in my love life?”

“Why wouldn’t we be?” Carson quipped from behind the wheel. “You’ve always been the one with women chasing you. We are living vicariously through you.”

“Speak for yourself,” Campbell chimed in. “Actually… I may or may not have someone new in my life.”

Carson and Knox both turned to him with surprise, eyebrows raised.

“Oh, really?” Knox asked. “Campbell ‘I’m too busy for attachments’ actually met someone?”

Campbell shrugged, looking a little sheepish, which was rare for him. “She’s different, okay? Met her at the gym. She can keep up with me in the ring and out on the trail, which is already a miracle.”

“Gym girl, huh? No wonder you’ve been dodging poker night,” Carson teased.

Campbell just rolled his eyes. “You two can laugh all you want. When you meet her, you’ll get it.”

Knox chuckled, feeling a twinge of something he hadn’t felt in a while—a little bit of envy. He’d been through a string of women who he’d known, deep down, weren’t right from the beginning. Chasing a feeling he’d only had once and only for one night. The one who got away. He didn’t believe in love at first sight or any such nonsense, but Vickie, she’d been different. He was plagued by what could have been. Maybe she wasn’t right for him. The problem was she’d completely ghosted him and left him wondering, but what if she was ?

“What about you, Knox?” Carson threw him a sideways glance. “Any new girl in your life?”

Knox scratched his neck, trying to decide how much to share. “Nothing serious. Just a few dates here and there.”

“Uh-huh,” Campbell scoffed, “and how many of those dates end with you saying, ‘You know what? Sorry, you’re not my type’?”

Knox sighed. He knew they wouldn’t let it go. “Look, it’s not like I haven’t tried. But every time I go out with someone, it just feels… off.”

“Let me guess,” Carson piped up, a grin forming. “You’re comparing them all to Vickie.”

Knox paused for a split second, surprised they’d remembered her name so easily. It had been years since he’d last mentioned her—years since that one night in a beachside town with a woman who’d felt like home the moment he’d met her. She’d been real. Authentic. Different from anyone else he’d ever met. But he’d been called off for an emergency deployment, and she’d slipped through his fingers.

Campbell let out a low whistle. “Damn, man. Still hung up on her, huh?”

“Not… hung up,” Knox muttered, shifting uncomfortably. “I just… haven’t found anyone like her. It’s like every woman I meet since then has just been… missing something.”

“Probably because they’re not Vickie,” Carson said knowingly, a smug look on his face. “She really was the one that got away, huh?”

Knox looked out the window, watching the familiar, sprawling landscape of Colorado roll by, the peaks of the Rockies looming on the horizon. “Yeah,” he admitted quietly. “Maybe she was or maybe she wasn’t. The fucked-up part is, I don’t know. I wish I could track her down and find out. Did I build our connection up in my head? Did it really exist? The not knowing is what gnaws at me.”

The car fell silent, the weight of his words sinking in until Campbell nudged him. “Well, there’s only one solution to that.”

Knox looked at him, eyebrow raised. “What’s that?”

“Find her,” Campbell said simply. “No use pining over her if you’re not going to do something about it.”

Carson nodded. “He’s got a point, Knox. How are you ever going to know if you just leave it in the past? You should have more time to look her up now that you won’t be deployable.”

Knox gave a noncommittal grunt, but his mind was already churning. It was easier said than done, especially when he didn’t have the first clue where Vickie was these days. But maybe… maybe he’d spent enough time wondering, enough time regretting. He’d let it go after he’d tracked down her office number and left a voicemail and she’d never called back. He didn’t want to be a stalker. Consent was huge for him. But, it was only one call, three years ago. What would it hurt to try again?

“Maybe,” he murmured, half to himself.

Campbell clapped him on the back, grinning. “Attaboy. And hey, if all else fails, you’ve got us to keep you company.”