Prologue
“A nd when you get to London for your Come Out, if you let a man kiss you, you’ll have to marry him. And then he’ll be allowed to do things to you.”
Calista’s blue eyes widened as her cousin’s voice whispered through the darkness of their shared bed-chamber, only a flickering candle throwing shadows across Marianne’s face.
“Wh-what kind of things?” she asked, her ten-year-old mind unable to even imagine it.
“Disgusting things,” Marianne declared, her own blue eyes widening dramatically. “Things that will hurt and make you a mama.”
At that, Calista’s terror turned to confusion.
“How?” she asked, hardly daring to breathe as she awaited the answer. Knowledge so that she could save herself from that awful, if puzzling, fate.
“Well – I – I’m not sure, exactly,” Marianne confessed. “But I do know that it is grotesque. And so, whenever a boy tries to kiss you, you must slap his face and run away. Unless you want to marry him, of course.”
The noise of footsteps on the landing outside Calista’s bedroom caused both girls to dive under the covers, Marianne taking the time to blow out the candle before settling down on the pillow.
The door opened and the scent of lavender told Calista that it was her mother checking on the girls. Though Marianne had a guest chamber in the west wing of the manor house, she’d stayed in Calista’s room in the nursery ever since they’d been babies, although Marianne was two years older.
Calista kept her breathing steady and deep, just like Marianne had shown her, and the ruse seemed to work, for within seconds, the door shut again with a definitive click.
“Mama and your mama are married to our fathers, Marianne,” Calista said into the dark when she was sure nobody would hear. “Does that mean they had to do disgusting things, too?”
“It’s not disgusting when you’re grown,” Marianne said with all the authority of a girl two years older and wiser. “Or when you’re in love.”
Calista thought on that for a moment.
“Miss Lewis says I have to marry to secure my family’s wealth and good name for the future. But I like the name Windon.”
Since it was so dark, she couldn’t see Marianne roll her eyes but from her cousin’s world-weary sigh, she knew she must have rolled them as she frequently did around Calista.
“She means the family name. As in the earldom, you goose! You are not just Calista Windon, you are the daughter of the Earl of Chanton. So, you’ll have to marry someone suitable, just as I shall have to.”
“And then he’ll do these terrible things? If I kiss him?”
“It’s not terrible , just disgusting. And not when you’re grown.” Marianne paused for a moment. “And not if you’re in love.”
Calista thought on that for a while. It still didn’t make a lot of sense to her, but she hated to seem babyish to the ever-sophisticated and knowledgeable Marianne, so she would have to pretend to understand.
“So, I should marry somebody rich and suitable for the daughter of an earl, but I should only kiss a man if I love him?” she asked hesitantly lest Marianne laugh at her.
“Precisely,” her cousin said. “Don’t kiss anyone unless you love him.”
The sound of Marianne’s gentle snores filled the room, and Calista knew she must have fallen asleep. But for her part, she stayed awake for hours wondering how on earth she would marry someone and not kiss him. And then she wondered how she’d manage to avoid it altogether because if there was one thing she did know with certainty, it was that boys were disgusting, and she’d sooner kiss a frog.