Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 11

Eleven

“Y ou know, if you ever decide to strike out on your own, you could have quite the career as a card sharp, Damsel. If we were playing for money you would have bled me dry by now.”

Calista laughed with glee as she triumphantly slammed her cards on the chest between their chairs. They’d found some cards whilst digging around the nooks and crannies of David’s hunting lodge, along with a bottle of brandy that Ezra so enjoyed. He’d had a couple of glasses but Calista had outright refused to imbibe, despite his trying his best to convince her the taste would grow on her.

For the past two days, they’d tended the fire and talked, watched the relentless snow, and rationed out a midday meal and a small dinner, using the fresh fruits and cakes Cook had packed first and leaving the things that would keep longer.

It had been perfect. She’d felt giddy morning, noon, and night.

“Don’t sulk,” she scolded. “Tis merely beginner’s luck.”

“Mm. I’m not so sure that you’re not cheating.”

Calista gasped in fake outrage. “How dare you question my honor, sir?” she protested.

“Forgive me, my lady.” He bowed his head magnanimously. “My jealousy has gotten the best of me. But how about we make this more interesting?”

“What do you propose?” she asked.

“One more hand,” he said, beginning to shuffle the deck. “If I win, you have to give Brandy another try.”

She narrowed her eyes at him. “And if I win?” she asked.

“If you win, you get to pick whatever prize you like.”

“Anything?” she asked.

“Anything.”

“That’s a rather dangerous game to play, Lord Tilton. Are you sure you want to do it?”

“Oh, I’m sure.” The roguish, dimpled smile made an appearance and set her heart hammering.

He dealt their cards and they spent the next few minutes playing a raucous game of cards with wild accusations of cheating and double-crossing. In the end, though, Calista got the upper hand once more and screeched her excitement as Ezra grudgingly conceded defeat once again.

“Very well, Damsel. I give up. No brandy and I owe you one prize of your choice. But I tell you, you could eke out quite the living in the hells of St. Giles.”

“Well, thank you,” she laughed. “But somehow I don’t think whichever husband my father picks will take kindly to his wife traipsing through gaming halls every evening.”

Her words froze the air between them, with the atmosphere darkening immediately.

After a taut silence, Ezra cleared his throat. “How could I have forgotten,” sneered. “Your father intends for the ball to be a market. Might as well be Tattersalls.”

Calista flinched at the harsh words. She hated hearing that tone in his voice. She hated more that he was right. Her father saw her as nothing more than chattel to sell to the highest bidder. Damaged now because she’d been so ill. Possibly not worth as much as what she would have fetched before.

She didn’t like being confronted with that reality. Especially not by Ezra. She didn’t know what to say to break the awkwardness. But she didn’t have to worry for long for with a huge sigh, Ezra reached over and clasped her hand.

“I’m sorry, Damsel,” he said. “That wasn’t fair. It seems it’s to be an evening of me letting my jealousy rule the day.”

Calista’s mouth dropped at his confession. Was he saying that he was jealous at the idea of her being married off? She watched his face, waiting for him to say something else. To do something else. But he didn’t. Pulling his hand from hers, he began to gather up the cards.

“You should probably get to bed”, he said softly, not looking her in the eye. “It will likely be a little colder tonight, we need to preserve the wood.”

Calista wanted to say something, anything. But her tongue was tied by so many things. She stood up and moved to the cot. Earlier she’d tried again to convince him to take it tonight but to no avail.

She heard Ezra tend the fire. Heard him tidy things up and unfold the blankets he had claimed as his own for their stay. She heard the wind howling outside and the logs crackling in the hearth. But above it all, she heard the relentless sound of her heart demanding that she listen to it, hear the truths it was facing her to force.

For years now, she had felt as though her life was out of her control. First, with her sickness, it was in the hands of doctors. Now, it was in the hands of a father who barely acknowledged her and wouldn’t give a care in the world about things like love or happiness in marriage. The only time she’d felt seen was when she was with Ezra.

The only time she’d felt alive was with Ezra. Did she dare hope that he felt the same?

My jealousy rules the day. That’s what he’d said.

Calista stood on a precipice, she knew that. If she followed her heart, if she did what she desired, then she would potentially ruin her life. She would never have dreamed of anything like this before Ezra. And he had told her more than once that he was a confirmed bachelor through and through. That he had no need or desire to marry. So crossing that line with him would lead to nothing.

On the other hand, all she had to look forward to was a life picked for her. An uncertain future with a man who may or may not care for her but who would never call her Damsel. One who would never listen to her deepest fears and worries and then demand that she sing to him. One who would sit up all night long just to watch over her and make sure she didn’t get cold.

And she knew, in her heart and soul she knew that there would never be anyone like Ezra Tilton. Somewhere along the way she had fallen desperately in love with him and that would never change, no matter how dedicated to bachelorhood he was, or how many potential husbands her father sent her way.

So the question was, was she brave enough to leap and hope he caught her as she fell? Was she willing to take her life into her hand, to use this time out of time locked away here in this cabin in the woods, and follow her heart, consequences be damned?

Heart racing, breathing shallow, head spinning as though she’d down half his bottle of precious, disgusting brandy, Calista made up her mind. The fear of rejection was palpable but she brutally pushed it aside, refusing to let it rule her emotions right then.

It was now or never. Either way, she would probably live with regrets but at least this way, she had the chance to live with wonderful memories too. When she’d gotten well again, she’d promised herself to live her life to the fullest and she’d never wanted anything more than she wanted this.

“Come on, Calista,” she whispered to herself. “Just be brave.”

Before she could lose her nerve, Calista spun around to face him. “Ezra.” Her voice seemed to echo around the room. He raised a brow, waiting for her to speak. She took a deep breath, steeled her shoulders, lifted her chin, and put her life in his hands. “I know what I want for my prize.”

He just stood there, waiting for her to go on, a look of confusion creasing his brow.

“I want a kiss,” she said. “A real kiss.”

The tension from before changed and turned into something so much more potent. Calista’s entire body shook waiting for him to say something. But there was nothing but silence. “If you don’t want to,” she started but got no further.

It seemed like he’d been hanging onto his control by a thread and that thread just snapped. With a strangled, desperate groan he grabbed hold of her and slammed his mouth to hers in a kiss that set the very world on fire.