Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 3

Three

G avin had avoided the removal of his own wet clothing for a reason. He didn’t think it wise both of them were in a state of undress. Especially when the idea of Odessa’s bare skin haunted his dreams, and he was so close to the reality of it. He itched to strip the rest of her garments off of her and touch her in every way he’d imagined over the years.

Helping her with her dress and not doing more than that had nearly killed him… The urge to press his lips to her back and trail kisses over her shoulder, neck, and then her mouth had been hard to ignore. His cock had hardened to a painful degree and frustration fueled his blood. He clenched his fists together at his side in an attempt to rein it in. His desire ebbed enough for him to function, but it didn’t fully go away.

He closed his eyes and reminded himself to breathe. He couldn’t do any of that with Odessa, and he damn well knew it. That didn’t negate the desire to though. She insisted he take off his wet clothing, and she was right. He could easily catch a chill, and there would be no one around to take care of her. As much as he hated the idea, it was the right thing to do. So he stripped off his breeches and shirt to hang before the fire to dry. Then he wrapped the wool blanket around his shoulders like a cape.

It covered most of his body but his legs remained bare. It was either that or have his chest partially exposed. He wasn’t entirely sure which was worse. He definitely couldn’t go near her dressed, or rather undressed, as he was. She could make all the demands she wanted, but he refused to join her at the back of the cabin—near something resembling a bed.

“Are you done?” Odessa called out.

God save him. “Yes,” he said. Her voice rolled over him, causing him to shudder. He wasn’t strong enough to resist her, and he’d do whatever she asked in the end. How would he stop himself from touching or kissing her? Odessa didn’t make it a secret she’d welcome his affections. Keeping her at a safe distance had prevented him from acting on it in the past. Now though—nothing stood between them. They were stuck in a cabin alone for an indeterminate length of time.

“Good, now come in here. I need your help.”

Bloody hell… What could she possibly need? He’d made sure the cabin was warm and even lit candles. She should be fine until the storm receded. “Why aren’t you resting?”

“I’m not tired,” she said and coughed loudly. “My throat hurts.”

Worry furrowed deep inside of him. Had they been too late? Was she going to become ill regardless? He rushed over to her side and stopped short when he reached her. “What are you doing?”

Her blanket was wrapped around her waist and her long black hair fell in waves down her back. Her chemise kept her covered—mostly. He could still make the outline of the curve of her breasts and her nipples through the thin material. It took everything inside of him not to reach out and touch her hair to see if the locks were as silky as they appeared. He clenched his hands into fists underneath the blanket. She couldn’t know the reaction he was having to her.

“I’m hot,” she said. “Aren’t you?”

No, he wasn’t. His skin was a little chilled still, but he was starting to at least warm up now that he’d removed his wet clothing. Staring at her heated him in other ways though… He glanced at her and concern filled him. Something wasn’t quite right with Odessa. Her cheeks were flushed a bright pink and her eyes appeared glassy. Gavin stepped forward and touched his hand to her forehead. She was burning up. Damn it.

“You’re coming down with a fever,” he said. “Lay back and rest. I’ll see if there is anything here to help relieve it.”

He had no idea what to do for her. Her skin was so hot… He’d been trying to get her warm, and now he had to find a way to cool her back down. He could get some snow and melt it to wash her skin. He didn’t want to put freezing water anywhere near her yet. The water needed to warm a bit before he bathed her in it. Otherwise, it might hamper the progress he’d already made.

“Don’t be gone long.” She shivered. “I’m afraid.” Her voice wobbled a little bit.

He was too. The whole reason he’d kept his distance from her was to keep her safe. Now here they were and she was sick. Gavin had never felt so helpless in his entire life. If she died here and now, he’d never forgive himself. He’d drop to his knees and pray if he thought it would help. Anything that was required of him, he’d do it. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for Odessa.

“I’ll be right outside,” he said. “I’m going to get a bit of snow and be back before you realize I’m gone.”

“Promise,” she said.

“Cross my heart,” he said and gestured his hand over his chest. “Now lay back and close your eyes. You really do need to rest.”

“All right,” she agreed. “For a moment.”

She laid back on the cot and her eyes fluttered shut. She curled onto her side holding the blanket against her. Gavin stared at her a moment to make sure she was content and then headed to the door. He yanked on his boots and grabbed the water pail by the door. He went outside and filled it to the brim with snow, shivering as he worked. His nearly naked skin didn’t appreciate the bitter cold, so he filled it fast and went back in the hunting lodge.

Once inside, he set the bucket near the fire so the snow would melt. Then he went in search of some kind of cloth to use to wipe her face and neck. He managed to find an old cloth in a chest and tore it into pieces, then went back to the bucket. Some of the snow had melted enough for him to dip a piece of cloth into it. He took it back to Odessa and placed it over her forehead. She sighed, but didn’t open her eyes.

“That feels wonderful,” she said. “Don’t leave me.”

“Never,” he promised. “At least for the moment. I’ll need to change the cloth strip in a little bit.”

“But you’ll stay for now?”

She sounded so hopeful. How could he deny her anything? “I’d never willingly leave you.”

“I knew you loved me,” she mumbled. He jerked back in surprise at her statement.

He did. He never dared to admit it. Gavin had been trying so hard to hide his feelings for her, sometimes even being a complete arse in her presence. But he couldn’t deny what he felt for her to himself. He might have trouble admitting it aloud to her. Deep down though—there was no hiding from his wayward emotions.

Maybe he should let go of his fears and try to have a life with her. He couldn’t stop her from doing reckless things, and she was so determined to be with him. What would she do next to gain his attention? He either had to do something to make her hate him, or he had to accept that they belonged together. Whatever he decided he had to do it soon before he had no choice left. His family curse left him with few options. Either he stayed away from her or tried to make a life with her. Odessa’s life was at stake and he had to make the right decision. He wasn’t sure what that was anymore.

“Sleep,” he said softly. “I’ll be here when you wake.”

Not long after that, Odessa fell into a deep sleep. He stayed by her side as the fever worsened, and all through the night as the storm raged. Not once did he give up on her, and he damn near willed her to fight through the fever’s hold. He went outside several times to refill the snow bucket until at last her fever broke and she slept peacefully. Gavin sat on the floor beside the cot and rested his head next to her. Exhaustion and relief overtook him, so he finally allowed himself to sleep.

G avin woke several hours later to a cool breeze on his back. He lifted his head and stretched his arms high. Every muscle in his body ached and his neck had a painful kink on one side from how he’d been sleeping. He checked Odessa, and she still slept peacefully. He stood and went to check on the fire. Through the night, he’d kept vigilance on the fire and Odessa. In order to keep warm he needed to make sure the fire stayed ablaze.

The logs had burned down to hot embers. During his nap the fire smoldered down more than he was comfortable with. It was past time to add another log to it. He picked up two and placed them over the scorched wood. He stayed there long enough to make sure the logs lit and then went back to Odessa. When he returned, her eyes fluttered open.

“Thirsty,” she muttered, her voice hoarse from sleep.

“Here,” he said, handing her a flask.

She took a drink and then coughed hard. “What is in that?”

“Whisky,” he replied and smiled. “Killian gave me a bit before I left today. I was going to enjoy it once I returned home.” The ale at the tavern wouldn’t have been enough to help him sleep, and even that he’d stopped drinking quicker than he normally would have. Whisky knocked him out once he had a swig or twenty. “It’ll help warm you.”

“I’m not cold,” she said. “I’m no longer hot either. How long have I slept?”

“Most of the night,” he explained. “It’s near dawn now.”

He wasn’t sure how much he slept either. The last thing he remembered was checking her fever and being relieved to find her skin cool.

“Has the storm passed?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered. “I’ll check.”

It would give him a little time away from her. He made sure the blanket was secure around him and then turned to leave. He breathed a little easier with some space between them. He was glad she was all right. Now, maybe he wouldn’t contemplate something as foolish as offering for her. If she married him, it was a sure death sentence. If she lived separate of him, she might go on to live a long life. When she married someone else, it would kill a part of him, but he’d endure it as long as she was healthy and happy. Two things she’d not find tied to him for the rest of her life.

Gavin opened the door and glanced outside. The snow was still falling, and the wind seemed to whip even harder than it had before. Would the bloody storm ever end? He couldn’t stay in the cabin much longer with Odessa or he’d go insane. She was a temptation he had a difficulty resisting. Mainly because he didn’t truly want to. If she pressed him, he’d admit how he really felt. He was trapped with her and no escape in sight. His first thought was correct—he was doomed.

He shut the door and returned to Odessa’s side. She was sitting up on the cot. Her chemise was too thin, and he could make out the curve of her breast in the candlelight. He swallowed hard and focused on something else. Slowly, he wrenched his gaze upward to her face. She was in the process of plaiting her hair. He wanted to tell her to stop. The long black waves were lovely, and he liked seeing them flowing down her back.

He held back the thought for several reasons. The biggest being he had no right to demand anything of her, and the smallest being it was a practical move. When the storm ended, they’d have to head back to Kingsbridge. If Killian found them alone like this, he’d demand Gavin marry Odessa, and he wouldn’t blame his friend. If he had a sister, he’d kill any man who touched her without the benefit of marriage. Not that Gavin had, but oh, he wanted to.

He cleared his throat. “The storm isn’t showing any signs of stopping. We might be here awhile.”

“Good,” she said and smiled at him. “It’ll give us plenty of time to talk.”

That was the last thing he wanted. Odessa would dig deep and cut through every one of his excuses. Then he would be forced to admit that he loved her and the reason why he couldn’t marry her. She wouldn’t believe him, and then he’d be forced to hurt her. He could already see how it would all play out. No matter how he looked at it, he was destined to cause her pain. She’d know it in a matter of time, and he hoped to put it off as long as possible. He didn’t want to see the light go out in her eyes when she realized he was a bad bet.

“You should rest more,” he said. “Your fever might come back.”

It was a weak excuse, but he was willing to push it if it worked. He didn’t want her to have a relapse, but he hated the idea of any lengthy conversation with her.

“I’m fine,” she said. “I’ve always bounced back from illness.”

“That’s good, but more rest won’t hurt either.”

What the hell could he do to distract her? If he didn’t think of something fast, they’d be talking about things he’d avoided for a long time. He was the epitome of dysfunctional, and he couldn’t do this anymore. Maybe it was time to let it all out once and for all. It was his fate, but it didn’t have to be hers.

He was a coward. There was no other thing to describe him and he wouldn’t make any apologies for it. Odessa’s safety was all that mattered to him.

She sighed. “Gavin,” she said tersely. “Quit avoiding me.”

“I’m not…”

“Please,” she held up her hand interrupting him. “I’m not stupid. Don’t you think I deserve to know why?”

Yes, she did. Damn it. “Once this is said, it can’t be taken back. Are you sure you want to hear it?”

Please say no…

“Yes,” she said. “I’ve waited long enough.”

Gavin sighed and then nodded. He might as well get comfortable as this was going to take a while. Afterward, she wouldn’t look at him the same. That was the main reason he’d avoided this particular conversation as long as he had. She was his beautiful sunrise and the reason he kept waking up each day. Once that was taken away, what would he have to live for?