Secluded with the Rogue

Chapter 10

Ten

December 24, 1819

Christmas Eve night

E dward’s nerves felt strung far too tight and knots of the same pulled in his gut. Why the hell was he so affected? It wasn’t as if he didn’t know Nancy, yet he meant to secure his future—their future—together, and when he’d hoped to do that thirteen years ago, she’d rejected him.

What if history repeated itself? What if he were to lose her a second time? And if he did this night, it would hurt worse than before, because he was unapologetically most decidedly in love with her this time.

Yet the drawing room, decorated for Christmastide, encouraged him to smile in appreciation. A large wreath hung on the wall over the fireplace. A red velvet ribbon had been threaded into the dark green evergreen boughs. Matching swags had been tacked above the windows and sat on the sills as well as the fireplace mantel. Tin bells, glass balls, and oranges studded with cloves had been strategically placed within the greenery to lend the room the pungent, spicy scent he associated with this time of year.

On a small round table, the Bavarian tree rested in a box, anchored with dirt from outside. Someone had come in and decorated it with the same bells and balls, but they’d added strung popcorn and reddish berries as well as ribbons, seed pearls on strings and fastened small white candles to some of the branches. No doubt when lit, it would prove magical.

Perhaps this time of year isn’t that horrid.

After the bulk of the house party went out in sleighs or walked to the village church in order to attend midnight services, he had gone up to his bedchamber to retrieve a small box, and as he entered the drawing room, the long case clock in the corridor outside chimed half past eleven.

Was he ready? Could he take the risk? Needing something to occupy his time while he waited, Edward moved over to the fireplace. He stoked the wood within, added another log and watched the flames lick at it. Then he dusted off his hands. Heat plowed through his form, whether due to nerves or the fire itself. With a muted curse, he removed his superfine jacket, for he’d had ample time to change out of his tailcoat and evening attire.

Still not comfortable, he wrenched off his gloves and cravat then tossed them to a nearby chair where his jacket had landed.

“Edward?”

Bloody hell, she’s here.

He turned away from contemplating the flames in the fireplace. “Nancy.” She wore the red and gold gown she’d had from the ball, and an abstract part of his brain was thrilled, for she was the personification of Christmastide in that gown. “I am glad you’re here. To be honest, I wasn’t certain you would come.” As he met her in the middle of the room, he caught her briefly in his arms and bussed her cheek.

“I promised I would.” When she smiled, his world tilted, and he tumbled into those brown-green pools of her eyes. “I have a gift for you.” She held up a small leather pouch. “I hope you like it.”

His chest tightened that she would have thought of him. “How could I not? And I have one for you.” It sat in his waistcoat pocket. “Give me one moment to close the door.” His pulse pounded as he raced across the floor. Once he closed the double doors and locked them both, a bit of his anxiety faded. At least they wouldn’t be interrupted. Then he joined her once more and slipped an arm about her waist. “Would you join me?”

“Yes. I am interested in why you wished to see me.” As she peered up into his face, questions lingered in her eyes. “You were far too mysterious on the terrace.”

“I suppose I was. Partially because I haven’t been myself this past week.” After he’d led her to a low sofa with a high back to one side of the fireplace, he settled her onto the mauve brocade cushion. The back of the piece of furniture was to the door and would provide another layer of privacy in the event someone did come in. After he seated himself next to her, he blew out a breath. How to begin this conversation that might—hopefully—change his life? “I… That is to say, we…”

Nancy rested a hand on his arm as she turned toward him. “Perhaps we should start with exchanging gifts.”

“Good idea.” It would give him a few more moments to contemplate his next words.

“I shall start.” Then she handed him the small leather pouch. “I kept this all these years because I couldn’t bear to give it away or pawn it. Truly, I’d forgotten about it.”

“Oh?” How intriguing. When he tugged the strings loose then dumped the item into his palm, he stared, shocked. It was a silver pocket watch chain.

“When I was packing my trunk in preparation for this party, I discovered it again, stuck in the lining. It brought back memories, for I’d thought to give it to you the night you proposed, but…” With a sigh, Nancy shook her head. “However, after spending the past handful of days with you…. Well, I …. Er, this belongs to you. I don’t want it anymore.” She closed his fingers around the cold chain.

He frowned. “Because it reminds you of me, or of other times that are not so savory?”

“Not any longer.” Sadness reflected in her eyes, but there was something else there he didn’t dare to name. “It reminds me of you, yes, but now I view it as a sign of a life well lived, of hope.”

“Thank you. I will attach it to my watch tomorrow morning.” With a hard swallow, he looked at him. “Hope.” Emotions battered his insides. “Oddly, I have had that same thing since you came back into my life.” He pressed his lips together as fear twisted down his spine. If he didn’t say his piece now, he never would, and that meant he wouldn’t have the future he wanted. “Ah, Nancy.” Then he fished out the small rectangle box from his waistcoat pocket. “You aren’t the only one who has hung onto a piece of the past.” He gave her the box that had been tied with a bit of twine. “For whatever reason.”

“Oh?” Her delicate fingers tugged at the twine.

“Yes.” Edward nodded. “I had planned on giving this to you that long ago summer night, as an engagement gift, but then you rejected me. I thought my heart had quit beating right there outside the ballroom.”

Please don’t do that to me again.

“I’m so sorry.” When she opened the box, she gasped, and tears filled her eyes. “It’s beautiful.” When she plucked the silver, oval-shaped locket from the box, she laid it on her palm to stare at it. A tiny sapphire winked from the ornate front of the piece.

“That locket belonged to my mother. When she died, it became part of the estate, but I’d always thought it pretty, knew it should be yours from the moment I met you.”

“You are so thoughtful and romantic.” Nancy brushed at a tear that fell to her cheek. When she eased the trinket open, tears overflowed onto her cheeks. “Oh, Edward.”

It wasn’t exactly the response he’d hoped for when preparing the gift. Inside the locket, he’d folded two tiny scraps of paper. One said, “Will you…” The other one said “…marry me?”

“Are you serious?” When she looked up at him from the locket, he nodded.

“We made mistakes in the past, didn’t take the chances when we should have.” For the space of a few heartbeats, he paused, thinking over his next words. “I don’t want to waste any more.” Then, feeling further inspired, he put the pouch and the chain on the sofa, removed himself from that piece of furniture, and kneeled on one knee before her.

“What are you doing?” Shock wove through her whispered inquiry as she watched him.

“Something I should have done a long time ago.” The candlelight winked and glimmered from about the room and reflected in her eyes. “I love you, Nancy. Perhaps I always have and carried that tiny hope in my heart in the hopes I would cross your path again.” Daring much, he took her free hand in his. “Because of you, I know what it’s like to love someone, to give my heart to someone, to trust and hope. To dream.”

“Oh, I…”

He nodded. “To possibly share a life with.”

“Dear heavens, this is unexpected and romantic.” Her hands trembled as she snapped the locket closed. “I don’t know what to say that won’t make me seem like a silly goose.”

The words tugged a grin from him. “Say you’ll make me the happiest of men, that you’ll marry me so we can finally have the life we should have long ago before pride, arrogance, and prejudice got in the way.”

Another tear fell to her cheek. Her eyes rounded, but she smiled, and his world tipped onto its head. “What about me? Do you want me to be the happiest of women?”

“Well, yes, of course,” he hastened to say. His heart felt as if it would burst if she didn’t answer him. “Are you happy without me? If you are, then by all means, we will pretend none of this happened, and I?—”

“Edward.”

“Hmm?” His brain refused to process what was happening.

“Yes, I will marry you, because I love you to distraction. I have only just discovered that truth, and like you, I have loved you for years, but I thought it was because I was so unhappy in my marriage, that perhaps I’d looked at the past more fondly than it had been.” She shook her head as she stared at the locket. “Over the years, I know that wasn’t true. Each time my son did something wonderful, or when I lost my other two children, at the back of my mind I wondered how you would have counseled me, how you would have supported me, how you would have loved me and been there with me to see me through.”

“Where your husband never did.” Gratitude slammed through his chest to mingle with the anger toward the dead man as well as the tiny bit of fear he still felt.

“Yes.

“If I had been at your side, you would never have been made to feel alone or less than.” He didn’t dare let himself feel joy. Not yet. “I’m sorry for the sorrows in your life, sweeting, and there will no doubt be others, but I can promise you will never need to suffer by yourself. And I can promise you that I will love you enough to help seal the cracks in your heart, so they don’t hurt as much. Further, I promise there will be wonderful times, happy times that you can add to your memories.”

“Oh, Edward…”

“And lastly, I have nothing but love, for you, and have had years of practice holding those feelings, nurturing them, keeping them intact and secret in the event I had a second chance.” He squeezed her fingers, and he meant every word, from the depths of his soul. “I’m a changed man, sweeting. A man you can be proud of.”

“I have always been proud of you, even more so now when I see how you care for your family, but I was young and reckless and na?ve back then, perhaps a bit frightened of what being a countess might entail.”

“Neither of us was ready for a life together.”

She nodded. “But I am now.” When she looked at him with moisture-spiked lashes and a quivering chin, he fell all over again. “I have always known you would wait for me, and I love you for that. Please tell me we won’t delay the wedding, because we have waited far too long for that day already.”

It was as if the floor disintegrated beneath him and the sensation of freefalling assailed him. She will be my wife. “You have my word.”

“Good.” Another round of tears rolled down her cheeks. Nancy surged forward, and the leather pouch and watch chain tumbled to the Aubusson carpet, unheeded. She slipped a hand to his nape and then kissed his lips.

Edward’s world exploded into being. The warmth in his chest expanded to obliterate every other emotion except love, and perhaps that was as it should be on this night of nights. He kissed her back, and before the last vestiges of his sanity left him, he pulled back.

“Let me put the necklace on you.” After taking the jeweled pendant from her, he fastened it about her delicate neck. “I have a ring for you with sapphires to match the locket, but I accidentally left it upstairs, for I was wracked with nerves for this conversation.”

“It doesn’t matter.” She rested a palm against the side of his face. “I have all I could ever want right now.”

The long case clock in the corridor chimed the midnight hour, but it went unheeded, for Edward kissed his fiancée, and when that wasn’t enough contact, he joined her once more on the sofa and pulled her into his lap so she straddled his hips. Interest immediately shuddered along his shaft as her skirting pooled about them. “After all this time, I have finally managed to win you.”

Her hands rested lightly on his shoulders, and he swore he could feel the burn of each individual finger. “We have both been quite stupid, I think, and have indeed wasted so much time.”

“Agreed.” Since she hadn’t offered a protest, he slipped his hands up her arms to cup her cheeks. “No more. We will live life to the fullest starting now.” Then he brushed his lips over hers. “If you wish it, I can try and secure a special license to marry here during the holidays, or we can wed as soon as we return to London.”

A blush spread over her cheeks. “Let me think about it, and I will need to write to my son, and you should probably meet him at some point.” She giggled, and the sound worked to further arouse him.

“We shall talk about everything soon.” Holding her head steady, he fit his lips to hers and kissed her with an intensity that surprised even him. When she uttered a soft sound of surrender at the back of her throat and one of her hands drifted to his nape, he groaned, settled her more comfortably in his arms, and then set out to kiss the hell out of her. Because he finally could.

Nancy met each one of his advances. The sweet, tart taste of champagne on her lips and tongue spurred him onward. Clearly, she’d indulged before leaving the ball. The veriest pressure at his nape from her fingers guided him, let him know what she liked, and he claimed her mouth, determined to discover her secrets, but when she surged up onto her knees and pressed her soft body to his in an effort to kiss him back more fiercely, Edward was in danger of being lost, for each movement, every brush of her form against his ramped his need.

It took very little effort to loosen the laces at the back of her gown, and even less to slide the upper portion of that velvet and satin creation down her arms and torso. Making short work of the stays and chemise beneath was accomplished in a twinkling and he was well rewarded for that effort. When her modest breasts were bared with their pert rosy tips practically begging for his attention, he held her gaze with his. Surprise mixed with desire in her hazel eyes that were now more green than brown.

“I knew you would be beautiful.” And he couldn’t wait to see the rest of her.

“Hush, you, I am quite average,” she answered in a whisper that lit tiny fires through his blood. That utterance coupled with the anticipation in her expression chipped away at his control. “I’ll admit, I dreamed about what coupling with you might be like more than a few times… when things were less than ideal in my marriage…”

Damn it all to hell. Needing to bond with her and hopefully give her new, more pleasant memories, he kissed her again while kneading the soft globes of her breasts. Pushing away the awe of finally being able to share intimacy with her, Edward traced the pads of his thumbs around her erect nipples, over and over again, in an effort to encourage her to acclimate to his touch. Then breaking the kiss, he dragged his lips along the side of her neck, peppered that satiny skin with feather-weighted kisses that continued beneath the underside of her jaw.

The soft sounds of pleasure and encouragement she made sent him hurtling closer to the edge of insanity. When he brought one breast to his mouth, sucked on that tip, teased the pebbled surface with the flat of his tongue, Nancy writhed on his lap. Urgency went through his shaft until it throbbed with need. The moment she held his head between her palms, kissed his lips, his cheeks, his chin, he was hurled perilously close to the point of no return.

“Nancy…” He needed her off his lap to keep certain inevitable endings away, so he gently urged her onto the sofa, laying her on her back while he settled on his side facing her, cradling her body with her head resting in the crook of his arm. “Bid me nay,” he whispered against the underside of her jaw. “I’ll leave you untouched with no one the wiser. We can indulge another time if you’re not?—”

“Hush.” She fisted a hand in the fine lawn of his shirt, tugged him closer. Desire reflected in her eyes. “Continue. I want you, Edward, have wanted you for so long.

“Bloody hell,” he whispered against her lips, for he wanted to lose himself in her, to navigate those delicious curves and ferret out all her secrets, make up for lost time.

“Show me you never forgot me,” she said in a low voice then kissed the side of his neck, licked that same spot.

The hold on his control slipped another notice. “I have always wanted you.” Edward dipped his head and took her nipple into his mouth while rolling the other with his free hand.

Her back arched, which put her charms more firmly into his care. A moan escaped her throat, and once more the blonde arcs of her lashes lay against her cheeks in a beautiful design. “Mmm, yes, just there.”

“It has been months since I have dallied with such a beautiful woman.” He drew his hand down her body, from her breast to brush his fingers along her ribcage, to sail along the sweet curve of her hip. Little by little, he drew up her skirting until he could trace his fingers along the edge of her garter and stocking. “This in infinitely better, this exploring my soon to be wife.”

“Ha.” Nancy slipped her hand down his chest, leaving a trail of heat behind. A few tendrils of hair had escaped her elegant updo from the evening, but those wisps and curls framed her face, giving her a touch of whimsy and mystery. Mischief and wonder warred for dominance in her hazel eyes. “This is hardly a bed.”

“Indeed, it is not, but the sentiment stands.” Unable to help himself, he shoved her skirting out of the way to caress the outside of her thigh. “I want to explore your body.”

“There is nothing stopping you, Armestead.” She continued to ease her hand down, down, down, and when she reached the waist of his trousers, he held his breath. That boldness was all too captivating. “Are we not engaged? That assumes no permission is needed to?—”

He silenced her explanation by pressing his lips to hers in an exquisite long and drugging kiss designed to show her without words how much he adored her and how much he desired her. When he shifted position to ease a knee between her legs, parting them, giving her a taste of what friction would feel like, it was he who became lost in that embrace.

When he let her up for air, Nancy shivered. She wriggled into a better position then eased her hand downward to trace the hard bulge of his erection, and he nearly expired on the spot. Had anything ever felt as sweet, especially after so long? That daring touch left him gasping. “Explore all you want, love. We’re not going back.” He grabbed her hand, moved it up and down his straining shaft. When she smiled, his world shifted, tilted. Never would he be the same. What would it feel like to bury himself deep into her honeyed heat and hear the sounds of pleasure she made while he thrust?

Soon, he would know.

His length pressed urgently against the front of his trousers, but he couldn’t stop kissing her, exploring her lips while brushing his fingers through the curls at the apex of her thighs. At her gasp, he slipped his tongue into her mouth to duel with hers. The deepening kisses were just as he’d hoped, and when she opened her thighs slightly, her moan twined with his.

Edward nuzzled the spot where her shoulder met her neck, and when she shivered, he grinned against her skin. He adored how responsive she was. As he dragged his lips up the side of her throat, he further encouraged her thighs apart to dance his fingers along her heated flesh. The acceleration of her breathing urged him onward, then he once more worried a nipple with his tongue and teeth while caressing her folds to draw forth her arousal.

“Edward…” Nancy furrowed her fingers through his hair, applied the slightest bit of pressure on his nape to guide him closer. As if he needed encouragement. Moving restlessly against him, she again curled a hand into his shirt. “I am becoming drunk on you; have craved you for far too long.” The whispered admission gave him the permission he sought.

Then she turned more fully into him, and his fingertips traced the rim of her opening. “Oh!” The little squeak of surprise tugged at his heart. “I’d forgotten how lovely this could be when I wasn’t dreading it.”

“God, you’re surprising, wonderful,” he whispered, seconds before he swiped his tongue over a nipple. And she was his.

She clutched at his shoulder, moving her hips, which only caused his fingers to graze along her more sensitive parts. “Make me fly, Edward, make me break. Replace my less than happy memories with better ones.”

It was all the permission he needed, but damn, he wanted to see her naked, burnished by the cheerful fire behind the grate. Perhaps another time, and still he continued to strum his fingers along her flesh, priming her.

Nancy smiled at him, and there was such heat in her gaze, need shot through his length and tingled in his stones. “I need you here.” She laid a hand atop his and pressed his fingers against herself, near that swelling pearl at her center. “Obviously, I have done this before, but with you, I feel it will be different… right.”

“I think so to, but I was giving you time to acclimate…”

“I don’t need it, for I am quite sure.” She met his gaze, and there was nothing but honesty in her eyes. “Claim me.”

“Ah, I…” he managed to choke out from a suddenly tight throat. The trust she’d placed in him left him humbled but with a sense of protectiveness for her. It was heady stuff indeed. When he furrowed his fingers through her curls, a moan escaped him from her readiness. “You are so ready.”

“Then you shouldn’t encounter any resistance.”

The wink she gave him, combined with her state of dishabille, the need in her expression, and the warmth of her flesh, sent him falling down a slippery slope he’d wanted to explore with her years ago. And now he was here. “Right.” He sucked a pebbled nipple into his mouth while rubbing his fingers over that tiny, hidden button at the center of her pleasure.

“Oh!” Nancy jerked in his hold, but she moved her hand from his to rest on his shoulder. Her eyes opened wide reflecting wonder and hunger; she bumped her hips against his palm, and it was the most erotic thing he’d ever seen. “Do you know what you are doing to me?” she whispered in a choked voice.

“I have a fair idea.” Smug satisfaction burgeoned in his chest. As he worked, his shaft tightened to the point of pain, but he ignored his discomfort to bring her bliss. The faster he rubbed that nubbin, the more her breathing became labored.

Tiny moans and sighs left her throat, and each one pushed him farther to the point of no return. She clutched at his shoulders while her body undulated against his, and every brush, each new touch was both heaven and hell. He was perilously close to embarrassing himself, but he couldn’t stop—wouldn’t continue to other things—until he’d sent her flying.

Her thighs trembled. She pulled him closer and alternately tried to push him away. “Mmm, oh…” She writhed in a restless rhythm. “I will break soon; it’s been too long.” One of her hands drifted to a breast, plucked at a nipple. Was she even aware she did that?

How erotic was it that she wasn’t ashamed to pleasure herself while he touched her? Was there anything more sensual than a woman on the edge of release? “Fall over the edge for me, sweeting. Let me see you find bliss,” he murmured like a man possessed. “Show me that you adore my touch, my fingers on you.”

“I do, and it’s even better than I imagined.” She panted, her hips gyrating into his hand, her body sliding against his as she moved restlessly. “Almost…”

He bent his head and kissed her—hard and deep—and at the same time increased both the friction and the intensity on her swollen button.

“Yes.” The whispered word, the way she nipped his bottom lip, the curl of her fingers into his shoulder sent need streaking through his shaft. “I’m… Ah!” Her body stiffened. Her fingers flexed on his shoulders, the nails sending tiny pinpricks of pain through his blood, and then her back arched, her eyes closed, and she screamed as she hit bliss.

“Damn.” Quickly, Edward kissed her, took the remainder of the sound into himself to minimize alerting anyone from the house party that hadn’t gone on to church. She shivered and trembled in his arms.

Eventually, she came back to reality, and there was a flush over her chest and in her cheeks. With a shuddering sigh, she collapsed—melted really—into the sofa and into his embrace. Flashing an exhausted but satiated grin, she rested the back of her wrist to her forehead. “That was beyond anything I have ever dreamed of.”

“Then you should truly enjoy what is next.” The hold on his control snapped. It was now or never. Shifting position once more, he settled himself between her legs that were bent at the knee. “Wrap your legs around my waist. This will no doubt go quickly, for I’ve been out of practice for a bit.”

“There will be other times for drawn out teasing.” She’d barely followed his instructions before he kissed her, showed her with his tongue what he would soon do to her body.

It was quite a powerful aphrodisiac, and he was nearly beside himself knowing he had years of this ahead of him with her.

A haze of passion and desire clouded his mind. Then urgency compelled him to get on with it. He penetrated her body, not stopping until he’d fully seated himself. “Never will I tire of this. When I claim you, when I know you are mine, when you surrender to me… love me.” If he wasn’t careful, he would turn into a watering pot.

“I feel as if we were always meant to be here… together.”

“Yes.” This moment of pause while she rested, impaled on his thick length, made him truly realize how damned fortunate he was.

And then he couldn’t wait any longer, for his shaft squeezed in warning. They communed in a dance as old as time itself. Again and again, he speared into her, his hips flexing, and when she looped her arms about his shoulders and met each thrust, he had never been happier. Deeper he went, perhaps in an effort to touch her soul, and she dug her fingernails into his shoulders, and still he worked her body, claimed it, melded them into one being essentially.

Then he changed his rhythm. His thrusts were more frantic, fast, deep. Nancy apparently gave up trying to match his strokes, for she clung to him. All too soon she tipped over the edge once more, and seconds before he lost himself, he thrust inside her again, then his shaft pulsed and jerked.

Edward uttered her name in a graveled voice. He ground his hips into hers as he enjoyed that bliss. Afterward, he held her so close the steady beat of her heartbeat was in her ears. Never would he forget this night. “I am so damned fortunate to have finally won you,” he murmured against the satin skin of her neck.

She looked at him with love and joy reflected in her eyes. “I think you have always owned my heart, but this time ‘round, I don’t intend to lose you.”

As they lay together catching their breath and coming back to reality, the sound of the door adjoining the drawing room to the billiards room creaked open.

“Bloody hell.” He hadn’t thought to lock that door. “Stay silent.” Pulling Nancy closer into the protective shield of his arms, he pressed her back into the back of the sofa while peeking around the edge of the arm rest.

Then his sister came into view with Reggie. The unmistakable sounds of kissing commenced for a few moments before she spoke. “It’s our second Christmas together, darling.”

“Every day since the one I married you has been my favorite.” Reggie pressed his forehead to Kitty’s. “I can’t wait to make our announcement tomorrow.”

“Me neither.” She kissed him again. “Our life is about to change again.”

“Life has been surprising and amazing.” As Edward watched, she took Reggie’s hand. “What say you to being intimate in my brother’s drawing room? It’ll be a bit before the others return from church.” As she spoke, he tugged on his hand, “Perhaps we should…” Then she gasped, for she happened to meet Edward’s gaze and her eyebrows rose.

Dear God. Would she keep his secret? He put a finger to his lips and looked at her with what he hoped was a silent plea.

“This is true.”

Kitty cleared her throat. “However, why don’t we go somewhere more romantic? The orangery is usually always decorated, and it will be as if we’re in the midst of the snow. A bit risqué but I think that fits in with our whole relationship, don’t you?”

“I adore how your mind works, Katherine,” Reggie said and then kissed her again.

Edward rolled his eyes. He didn’t want to hear any more pillow talk between his sister and his best friend.

“Good. Perhaps that means you’ll prove innovative and exciting tonight.” With a wink at Edward, she pulled her husband out of the room.

Seconds later, the soft snick of the door assured him they had fully left.

“I thought they would never leave.” As relief twisted down his spine, Edward relaxed into Nancy and softly kissed her lips. After a bit, he sighed and moved her more comfortably into his arms. “I honestly think if Kitty hadn’t married, I wouldn’t have had the courage to ask you to marry me tonight.”

She giggled. The sound went straight to his heart and shaft. “Then I’ll be certain to thank her tomorrow.” With a smile, she laid a hand to his cheek. “Happy Christmas, Armestead.”

“Happy Christmas, sweeting. I can’t wait to start our lives together.”

Indeed, it was sweeter the second time around.