Second Chance Baby (Crescent Cove #18)

Chapter 19

NINETEEN

We worked for many hours.

Some of the shots went awry due to an errant duck and then the entire family that wandered into our photos, quacking up a storm. We abandoned the gazebo location for the other side of the lake near the Hamilton compound. Sage Hamilton had been thrilled to have a real live romance shoot on their property.

I was pretty sure some of the ducks had followed us, but this time, they were more of a set extra than the divas who had forced us to flee for a quieter location.

It was ridiculously warm for mid-October and the coolers were being refilled every other hour. The Hamilton yard was massive and dotted with just enough leaves and autumnal decor that it could have been a movie set.

Sage tried to hang back, but her excitement was palpable. Not to mention her children were fascinated with Bridget, who was sprawled on a quilt on the front yard near the boat launch.

I was pretty sure Drake’s crew even broke out his drones for wide angle shots. I couldn’t blame him, since Bridget was obviously in her element.

She said she wasn’t interested in this life, but it sure chose her.

But then my chest ached as one of Sage’s children careened into the shot and plopped herself into Bridget’s lap. From then on, she’d been drafted to be an extra. The little blue-eyed blond girl was a natural, and she and Bridget looked as if they could be close relatives. They both laughed so freely and so beautifully, and the camera loved them.

Even Oliver, Sage’s husband, had relaxed when it became obvious Bridget was going to keep his little girl safe and sound.

When Drake started making noises about needing an older girl in the shots to fit one of Rita’s other covers—and possibly a wig and wardrobe change, I had a feeling this shoot would not be over with today.

“Hey, you two have a kid about that age, don’t you?”

Bridget stood, making her way over to me, the toddler, Stella, hanging onto her hand for dear life. Just seeing her with another young child had my system all out of whack. This was exactly what I wanted—not the fictional version. But ours.

“We do.” I gave Bridget an easy smile.

“It would save us from booking a modeling agency to sign off on a kid. It’s a nightmare to get it settled. It would save us so much time.”

“I don’t know, Drake.” Bridget easily swung up Stella to settle on her hip. “Carrington has never done anything like this. We haven’t even had family photos done before.”

Which we’d be correcting, I thought darkly.

“Just see if she’d be up for it. We’re losing the best light now, anyway. I need to check in with Rita about what exactly she needs.” Drake started loading up his cameras. “Just think about it. I have to go check with this Sage chick. She’s practically a mayor’s wife, the way she knows everyone.”

Then he was gone.

Nerves niggled along my spine. It couldn’t hurt to ask, but if it turned out to be no—that was the end of it.

Bridget was lightly swaying with Stella. “We don’t have to do this, Trav. Drake is just a pushy—” she glanced at the toddler with an easy smile, “guy,” she finished.

“Like my daddy,” Stella said before she shoved her fist into her mouth.

Both of us laughed.

Oliver Hamilton made his way down to us. “You certainly brought a little excitement into our already crazy life.” He reached for Stella, who immediately launched herself into his arms.

“We’re sorry about that. I had no idea Drake was going to do this.” Bridget pushed her hair out of her face. The wind was starting to kick up off the water.

“It’s fine. My wife is getting a kick out of the fact that we’re going to be part of one of her favorite romance author’s books. I’m pretty sure she’s putting more ideas into the photographer’s head as we speak.”

“Careful, or Drake will have her in front of the camera too.”

“God, don’t swell her head. She’s already making my life chaos—in the best way, of course, right, Stel?”

She turned her face into Oliver’s shoulder with a giggle.

“I’m outnumbered, anyway.”

Bridget leaned into me. “Looks like you were made to be a girl dad, kinda like this one.”

I looped an arm around her waist. “She’s not wrong.”

Oliver grinned. “Well, let me get this girl back up to the house. We’re way off schedule. Guess I might see you again.”

When he was out of hearing range, Bridget looked up at me. “I just hope Rita is happy with what we’re doing.” She twisted her fingers together.

“I’m sure she will be. C’mon, let’s go get Care Bear.”

We were both quiet on the ride to pick up our daughter. While we were waiting in the carpool line, I updated her on what Carrington had been up to school-wise, but I could tell she was distracted.

“You good?”

She glanced at me. “I’m sorry. I was just sitting here overthinking everything.”

“About Care doing the shoot?”

She nodded, but the door opened before I could ask her anything more.

“Hi!” Carrington shoved her backpack in before climbing in after it. “Did you take all the pictures?”

I laughed. “And then some.” I tapped my finger on the wheel. “Actually, they were interested in adding you into the mix.” I glanced in the rearview mirror to see her reaction.

“Me?” Care squeaked.

“How do you feel about that?” I asked lightly.

“Why me?”

“Well, you do look just like your mom, which fits the assignment.”

“Yeah.” The uncertainty in her voice was enough for me. I was about to open my mouth when Bridget cut in.

“We’ll just tell them it’s us and only us. Carrington doesn’t need to be a model.” Seeing her instant siding with our daughter went a long way to adding even more to the sureness about wanting Bridget in my life again column.

I leaned over and planted a large kiss on her, enjoying how she returned the gesture without a second thought.

“Ugh, you guys!”

I laughed as I pulled back.

Carrington gripped each of our seats and leaned forward. “Really, mom? I don’t have to do it?”

“Absolutely not. It was just an idea. Probably a bad one at that. We were old enough to decide to model. Not that you aren’t. You’re plenty old enough to know your own mind and what makes sense for you to do.” Then she tugged on Carrington’s braid. “Honestly, I didn’t like the idea of you doing it, anyway. That means it’s not for you. Right, Travis?”

“Right,” I answered definitively, driving back into town. “We’ll just check in with Daphne and see what’s what. She just texted to come to the park. Your Gams suggested we come over for dinner once we finished up, anyway. She’s making some new recipe called Bewitching Chili since a cold front is coming through.” I glanced at Bridget. “Do you want my jacket?”

“No, I’m good. Drake mentioned sailing tomorrow since it’s supposed to be sunny. Good day for some boating shots.”

“I bet he did. Did he tell you to bring a swimsuit?”

Her lips twitched. “Matter of fact, he did suggest that. Not that I have one here. I’ll have to grab one from the store unless you have an urge to go to the city tonight instead of waiting for the weekend.”

The possibility was already growing roots. “Yeah, we can have dinner at my mom’s then hit the road, avoid the weekend traffic.” I glanced over my shoulder at Carrington. “You cool with spending the night with Gams? Then we can get Biscuit back in the afternoon when we pick you up from school.”

Carrington shrugged. “Works for me. Halloween is mostly done in the yard, and the rest of the stuff we can put up as we go. It already looks awesome. Gams has gotta come by to see everything soon!”

I signaled to pull over to park near the lake. We were much farther out now than we had been this morning, but this late in the day, it wasn’t surprising.

We got out of the truck and went over to talk to Daphne, who completely understood Carrington not wanting to model. Though she’d no sooner gone back to the truck with her mother when Daphne muttered, “She would’ve been perfect.”

“C’mon, Daph.”

She waved me away. “We actually have another volunteer, Laurie Hamilton. She’s just about the same age too. Come on over and meet her and then you two can come back tomorrow, and we’ll do some boating shots. The Hamiltons are letting us use one of their boats too.”

We were standing around talking when Bridget returned, wringing her hands together as we went over the details for tomorrow. Then Drake pointed at her. “You’ll have your suit with you?”

“I will. We’re making a late-night trip to the city to get my stuff. And Laurie’s perfect to play our daughter.” She glanced at me, lowering her voice. “Can you believe she’s Carrington’s age now? I’m so out of the loop with Crescent Cove residents.”

“Time passes too damn fast,” I acknowledged, looping my arm around Bridget’s waist as we listened to our agents’ spiel about what was left to take, pictures-wise.

Which, thankfully, wasn’t much.

Drake showed us some of the proofs so far, and I asked him if I could get some extras of one particular image, where Bridget was perched on my lap as I kissed her shoulder. She was looking at me under her lashes as if she adored me, and I knew I’d want to make probably half a dozen copies.

Then it started to rain, reminding all of us that it was fall in a lakeside town. We’d been lucky to get such amazing weather, but it officially ended our shoot, scattering all of us to our vehicles. At least we didn’t have to be there first thing tomorrow, which was good since a trip to the city would eat up most of the evening.

But for now, we were going to my mom’s to have some damn chili.

On the way, I went by our house to make sure all the lights had come on as they should on their timers, and then I took a quick video for my mom to see the wonderfully spooky chaos. Carrington was so excited by all we’d put up, and she kept turning up the Halloween-themed music we had blasting from the front stoop.

“I love all of this so much. But Amerie asked for us to add some Trolls, if we could find some?” Carrington jogged back to where I was still filming, her duffel bag with her overnight clothes over her shoulder. “Just if it was possible. And maybe a blow-up dog too, just so Biscuit has some representation.”

I had to laugh as I gave her a quick hug. “We’ll make it happen. Somehow. Maybe we can stop in a store in the city if we get going early enough tonight. We’ll probably have to eat and run. We kind of searched through all the stores around here, don’t you think? I didn’t see any blow-up Trolls. Or dogs.”

“Maybe something for Scooby-doo?” Bridget suggested.

“Good idea. You all set, kid? Let’s get a move on so we can do even more searching on the way to the city.” I had to laugh again as I climbed back in the truck. “Somehow I turned into Mr. Halloween along the way.”

“Because you’re the best daddy ever.” Carrington leaned forward to hug me in my seat. “Amerie doesn’t have one, so she’ll be so happy you cared to find stuff for her too.”

Bridget and I exchanged a glance as I hissed out a breath. “We’ll find something just for her, I promise.”

I headed over to my parents’ place, parking at the end of a line of cars that extended far beyond the driveway. I recognized all my local siblings’ vehicles and even Penn’s Jag. “Guess it’s a full house tonight for the Bewitching chili. My stomach is roaring.” I turned off the truck and hurried over to open Bridget’s door.

“Mine too, Dad.” Carrington hopped down from the truck, frowning. “Should I have asked Jesse over?”

“The boy who isn’t your boyfriend?”

She made a face at me. “Yeah, but we still do stuff together.”

I exchanged a look with Bridget. Hopefully, not sex type stuff. Maybe we needed to have the talk with her just in case. Would I be totally lame if I asked Bridget to field that? I hadn’t yet had to have the period talk, either, so maybe they could be combined into one?

Ugh, I was getting a headache. Maybe I’d just see what my mom thought before discussing it with Bridget. One thing at a time. I didn’t need to get ahead of myself.

We went inside, immediately launching into Halloween talk when Christian started asking if I’d really added more items to the décor since my brothers had helped decorate. I was quick to say no, but I didn’t mention that I would be adding more soon if Trolls or Scooby-doo items could be sourced.

What he didn’t know yet couldn’t hurt him—or me.

And Bridget was a vault who wouldn’t give me up since they would be located for her niece if they existed—and still remained for sale.

Then Carrington ran off to go help Gams in the kitchen while Penn and my father blamed each other for smoking. Wisely, I didn’t touch the pack jammed in my jacket pocket in case I was accused, as well. I hadn’t even gotten to have more than one in the last few days.

I’d much rather spend my spare moments sneaking naked time with Bridget rather than taking puffs on secret smokes.

Though now that I’d thought about the possible need for a sex chat with my kid, I couldn’t shake the idea. Not that I wanted to have it. Just was I overdue? I was starting to wonder.

The idea of her needing vital information to make up her own mind that we hadn’t provided was horrifying. But at that age, what kid would go to their parents’ first over a friend? Which didn’t exactly soothe me, either.

“What are you worrying about?” Bridget whispered between courses, holding the tortilla chips dish in front of her face in case anyone was eavesdropping. She passed the dish to me then she leaned closer to wait for my answer.

“How do you know I’m worrying?”

“Let’s see, how many times have you lost the thread of the conversations tonight?”

Enough times that she had a valid point.

“Then there is that little forehead wrinkle you always get when you’re thinking too hard.”

“Did you hear Care asking about inviting Jesse?” I asked in an undertone as Murphy and Christian started ribbing each other about the latest World Series game.

“Yeah, so?” She spooned up more chili.

She hadn’t even noticed I’d barely touched my own, though it was delicious. Things were serious if I was off my food.

“I haven’t given her the talk, you know.”

“What talk?”

Her eyes widened at my quick, highly inappropriate sex gesture. Thankfully, my brothers were too busy squabbling about point spreads and bets over the game to wonder what I was gesturing about.

“Ohhh.” Bridget commented. “Want me to try to talk to her?”

“Yes, God, please,” I said, my urgent and fervent response making her laugh. “Fit in periods while you’re at it.” I scooped up more chili with my chip, my appetite swiftly returning.

“Already eating more,” Bridget mentioned, grabbing more chips. “I was wondering if you’d stopped liking chili.”

“Nope. It’s so good. Just I was having thoughts.”

“Well, stop doing that. I’ll handle it. Or I’ll try to.” She winced. “Not saying I know what I’m doing there, either.”

“But God, I appreciate you trying.” I leaned over and planted a giant kiss on her while everyone made kissy noises and whooped and hollered.

The chips in her hand plopped back onto her chili as she stared at me in silent shock.

I looked at my open-mouthed brothers. “Don’t all of you kiss your wives? If not, you won’t be married very long.”

“Yeah, just it’s been a while?—”

“Why I’m way overdue. Right, Bridget?”

Finally recovered, she smiled faintly. “Absolutely right. Why we are going to get my belongings from my apartment in Queens as soon as we finish dinner. No time like the present to start the rest of our lives.”

“Damn straight. So, let’s get on the road already. I need to find a couple more Halloween decorations too. Any tips where I can find Trolls ones or Scooby-doo?”

Christian pointed warningly at me, and I just leaned over the table to touch my finger to his in phone home E.T. fashion from E.T. , the older movie. Everyone bust out laughing, including Christian himself. “Special request from my niece, pal, so just charge me some bogus fine if you must. I’ll even pay it willingly, Officer Killjoy.”

“Fine, fine. But that’s it. Your property is now officially over-decorated.”

“Yeah, whatever.” I fist-bumped him and he rose to give me a big hug, clapping my back hard enough to rupture an organ or two. “Happy for you, man. Go big. Trust me there.”

I smiled and nodded, pondering his words as Bridget took time to say goodbye to each of my many family members, even taking time to pull my mom aside, talking to her seriously for a few moments, too far away for me to hear.

Not that I would’ve eavesdropped. Probably.

Then she pulled Carrington into a hug before finally breaking away to follow me to the door. She gave everyone a long wave before she stepped outside and promptly burst into tears.

“Your mom told me she was so happy I was back with you. That no one else would ever be good enough for her little boy.” Impatiently, she dashed at her tears. “She told me how years ago, my mom had confided in her that she felt as if she wasted her life, so she needed to take some time for herself, no matter what. And your mom had been afraid years ago when I left, that I was just a chip off the old block. But she knows now I’m not, since she can see now how committed I am to doing the work and making up for the time we lost.”

“We both are committed to that.” I used my thumb to smear her tears away. “I mentioned counseling to my mom as she was cooking, and she texted me the name of the guy she uses. I’m going to make an appointment just for me first, then you and Carrington if you want to go too. Not sure Care will be into it once the time comes, but I’m offering her the opportunity if she wants it.”

Bridget nodded vigorously. “I want it. For the last several months, I had an appointment a few times with a woman in the city. She’s the one who got me to start thinking back to stuff my mom said I’d just tried to forget. Annalise is terrific, but I’m not sure she does long-distance therapy. I will find out, though. And I’ll start with your mom’s therapist here too, if it’s possible to do both. I’ll find out what they recommend and do that, to the letter.”

I had to smile. “You do what works for you. Therapy isn’t a job. Ideally, in time, it will start to make you feel better. At first, it probably won’t. How you can guess you may be on the right path, if it’s a little rocky. At least that’s my mom’s theory.”

She laughed softly. “Your mom is a damn swami, as far as I’m concerned.” She swallowed hard and forged ahead. “Trav, my mom told me I was the reason me and Lacey’s dad left when I was seven years old.”

“What?” I whispered, horrified.

She nodded. “He hadn’t wanted another kid, couldn’t afford another kid, so he split when she wouldn’t give me up. So, naturally, it was all my fault.” She buried her face in her hands for a moment before lifting her head, her eyes now bone dry. “I was afraid in spite of myself I would poison Carrington’s mind the same way. That I’d inadvertently convey to her that my life had been better without her in it. That was the main reason I left. No one could’ve convinced me I wouldn’t taint her with the same kind of terrible thoughts my mom had filled my head with. And I just hadn’t wanted to take the chance.”

I brushed my fingertips along her jaw to get her to turn her face to mine. “Oh, sweetheart. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“I’m not even sure I fully knew my own motivations. Along with the crazy flood of hormones, I’d just been focused on escape. On getting away before I did something I couldn’t take back. Looking back, I assumed with my postpartum depression, I’d been afraid I would hurt Care. You know, physically. But now I’m not sure that was it.”

“You think you were afraid you’d hurt her emotionally, not physically,” I said in a monotone.

“Yeah. I mean, maybe. It was definitely a consideration, anyway.” She shrugged jerkily. “It’s just been something I’ve been thinking about for the last couple days. I thought I was such a horrible person. Who could think that way about their own baby? But spending time with your family tonight, seeing how much they love all of you, made me realize some important stuff.”

I stroked her hair, letting her talk it out.

“My mom set me up for a harder path, but I’m not cursed to turn my kids into feeling like unlovable failures. I have so much support with your family, and with you. I didn’t want your family to think I was a failure because I couldn’t take care of us.”

“Oh, Brig. No one would think that.”

“I know that now. I just have to work harder to push back those ugly voices, that’s all. And to ask for help when I start feeling shaky and like I can’t do this. Like I’m not good enough to be worthy of this family and this life. Our life and our family,” she added fiercely, her blue eyes aglow with an inner light I’d never seen before.

As if she was a warrior champion ready to do battle to the death. In a very real way, I had a feeling that might be necessary.

“Damn straight you’re good enough. And you’re worthy of the fucking world. I’m so sorry your mom blamed you for things that you had no control over. But you said she has mental health concerns, right? Yet again, she put her load on her young daughter’s shoulders to help carry.” I cupped her shoulders and shifted her toward me. “You did the best you could with no support. I certainly didn’t support you enough back then. I had no clue about any of it.”

We’d been so damn young. Both of us had made so many freaking mistakes. We’d both need to do better and work hard to put our family on a better path.

My parents hadn’t been perfect, but they’d never put that kind of crap on us. Ever .

“I was so lucky never to have to deal with that sort of thing, so I never even realized it existed. Never tried to help you carry the burden. But now I know.” And she’d never feel alone again. I’d make sure of it. “Now I’m older if not wiser. Raising Care sure as hell showed me how hard it was doing mostly alone. I’m so sorry we lost so much damn time. We’ll talk it out with someone who can offer us tools to work through this shit and help clear up the fog a bit. Does that work for you?”

“Yes. Oh, God, yes. Thank you. Just…thank you.” She looped her arms around my neck, hugging me with all her strength before she pulled back to tip her forehead to mine. “But I have somewhere I need to go now.”