Second Chances at Hollyhock Farm (Hollyhock Farm #2)

Chapter 11

11

ZAC

The following day Zac met up with Callum for a late breakfast down at the beachside café in Ouaisne Bay. He had tried to suppress his disappointment that his best friend had taken a liking to the woman he was attracted to but so far wasn’t doing a very good job, if the scrutiny of his friend’s gaze was anything to go by.

He and Callum rarely went for the same women, which was a relief as far as Zac was concerned. He took another bite of his sausage and egg burrito. Ordinarily Zac loved coming here and eating this delicious food, but today he was struggling to find his appetite. Not wishing to let Callum know how badly his message had affected him, Zac focused on his food. It was too good to waste.

Callum set his cutlery down on his plate, turning his attention from his tortilla. ‘What is it?’

Pretending not to understand, Zac shook his head. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’

When Callum didn’t say anything Zac looked at him. They had been best friends for too long for Zac to be able to fob Callum off that easily. He placed his burrito into the bowl. Callum was a good bloke and Zac knew almost certainly that all he would need to do to deflect his friend’s interest in Melody was to let him know how he felt. And he had considered doing that. Many times over the past few hours. But his conscience wouldn’t allow him to be that selfish. What if Melody wanted to spend time with Callum? What if she preferred Callum to him? What right did he have to get between two people who had feelings for each other? None, that’s what.

‘Zac,’ Callum snapped. ‘I can tell something’s bothering you. Is it something I’ve done?’

Zac shook his head. ‘Of course it isn’t.’

‘Why don’t I believe you?’ Callum squinted in the bright morning sunlight before shading his eyes with his hands. ‘Lend me your cap or your sunnies, will you?’ Zac took off his cap and handed it to his friend to put on. ‘That’s better. I can see properly now. So, come on, out with it. What’s bothering you?’

Zac groaned inwardly. Callum rarely let anything go before he was ready to. Zac didn’t want to ruin any potential relationship between Callum and Melody, so he needed to think quickly to assuage his friend’s concerns. When Zac hesitated, Callum pointed at him.

‘I know. You’re finding it harder being back on the island full-time than you expected, aren’t you?’

Relieved to be given a reason he could use, Zac shrugged. ‘A bit, maybe.’

Callum leant forward. ‘Listen, mate. I know this is all very new for you, but we’ve had this discussion before.’

Zac knew where this conversation was going and, aware he was about to get one of Callum’s friendly lectures, picked up his burrito and took a bite. He needed food if he was to listen and not react.

‘Look, I know you never expected your folks to ever want to leave the farm, but you have to admit ever since you and Jazz ended things after she lost the baby, you’ve found ways to distance yourself from the island as much as possible.’

Not just from the island, Zac mused, aware he had also not allowed himself to become too emotionally involved with any other woman he’d dated since the devastation of his and Jazz’s relationship ending so painfully.

‘I’ve been travelling for work,’ Zac argued, aware there was some truth in what Callum was saying.

‘I know that, but you’ve also spent as little time here as possible,’ Callum argued. ‘Speaking as someone who also travels for jobs, I don’t mean to criticise you, Zac. But even though this farm business is unexpected for both you and Lettie, I think that in your case it’s probably the best thing that could have happened.’

Zac swallowed his food. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’ he asked, irritated. ‘Look, I admit I felt more comfortable being away knowing I had little chance of bumping into Jazz, but you know that’s all in the past now.’ He thought back to seeing her and the chap she had married when they returned to the island on their honeymoon the previous year. ‘We chatted and put all our issues to rest.’

‘So you’ve said, which is why I don’t understand your reluctance to spend more time with her after that, Zac.’

He had a point. ‘I can see why you’d be confused.’

Callum scowled. ‘You must admit you’ve been hard to pin down since your split though and that you’ve avoided most opportunities to come back to Jersey.’

Callum was right. He knew he was. ‘It’s true.’

He had thought himself in love with Jazz and although he had been shocked about the pregnancy, Zac had quickly believed himself ready to marry her. He closed his eyes, hating to have to think about that period of his life. It had put him off becoming deeply involved with another woman.

He thought of Melody. He had known her for barely a couple of weeks but already his feelings were stronger for her than they had ever been for Jazz. Was it his fear of being hurt again that was stopping him from being honest about his feelings for her?

He realised Callum was still speaking. ‘Sorry, I missed that.’

Callum sighed heavily. ‘I was saying that it’s time you set down roots here.’

‘Here?’

‘Or somewhere. Don’t you think?’

Zac ate the last mouthful of his food to give himself time to think. Callum was right. He could be based here and still go on tour with artists when the need arose. ‘I suppose you’re right. My sister does need my support now our parents have stepped back from the farm business.’

‘I’m pleased.’

Zac was at a loss as to why it meant so much to his friend. ‘Why does it bother you so much?’

Callum stared at him for a moment. ‘Because it was painful to see you shut down your emotions when Jazz lost the baby and the pair of you drifted apart shortly afterwards. Each time I’ve met up with you I’ve wondered how much it still affected you.’

He had no idea Callum had been so concerned about him. ‘Really? It bothered you that much?’

Callum looked hurt by his disbelief.

‘Sorry, I didn’t mean that to come out how it did,’ Zac said, not wanting to offend him. ‘You never said anything though.’

‘Of course I didn’t. Hurt like that can be difficult to come to terms with, especially when it happens to someone young.’ He ate a mouthful of food and swallowed. ‘I mean, you were what? Eighteen?’

‘Nineteen,’ Zac said.

‘I hoped you knew I was there for you if you needed to talk to me, but you never did so I presumed you were dealing with it in your own way.’

Zac thought about his decisions since then and realised Callum was right. He had distanced himself from his family and friends, choosing to spend ninety per cent of his life working and most of that on tour with various artists. He had told himself it was the buzz he got from the work, but really he had been doing just as Callum had said. He had been running away from the loss of his and Jazz’s baby.

He stared at Callum. ‘Do you know something?’

‘What?’

‘You’re far more clever than you look.’

Callum pretended to be offended for a moment, frowning before throwing his head back and laughing. ‘Some things never change,’ he said eventually.

‘Like what?’ Zac laughed.

‘Like you being a plonker.’

They roared with laughter.

Eventually Zac shook his head. ‘I suppose I am.’

‘Not about the Jazz thing,’ Callum said quickly. ‘Just with your terrible insults.’

Zac folded his arms and leant on the table. ‘You’re right though. I have been running away from relationships and it is a good thing that Lettie needs me to help her here.’ He thought of the farm and how much he had enjoyed helping out. ‘It’s not been nearly as bad as I expected either.’

‘Good. That’s what I like to hear.’ Callum finished his coffee. ‘Now, are you going to give me Melody’s number, or not?’ he asked, smiling.

Zac had to force himself to keep looking cheerful. He might be almost ready for a relationship again, but had sworn off long-distance relationships after being on tour when Jazz had needed him most. He couldn’t help feeling anxious in case he became close to Melody and then found he couldn’t commit to her. Anyway, she would be returning to Edinburgh with Patsy at the end of the summer, so it wouldn’t be wise to risk falling for her only for her to leave.

He took his phone from his jeans pocket and was about to read out her number to Callum when it dawned on him that he should check first that she was happy for him to do so.

‘Is something wrong?’

Zac shook his head. He reassured himself he knew Callum well and that his friend was trustworthy. ‘She’s a lovely girl, so no messing her about or you’ll have me to answer to.’ Satisfied, Zac gave Callum her number.

Zac watched Callum tap Melody’s contact details into his phone and save them. He hoped he hadn’t just made a very silly mistake.

‘Don’t worry,’ Callum said, wiping his mouth and standing. ‘I wouldn’t dream of being anything less than a gentleman to her.’