Secret Bratva Daddy

Chapter 18Avros

18

Avros

I take a deep breath as I set down the phone, Miron's words echoing in my head. "You need to tell her the truth, brother. All of it."

I rake my fingers through my hair, pacing the length of my study. The weight of my secrets presses down on me, threatening to crush what I've built with Sydney. Sweet, innocent Sydney, who looks at me like I'm her whole world. How can I shatter that illusion?

But Miron is right. If there's any chance for a real future with Sydney, it has to be built on honesty. Even if that honesty might drive her away forever.

I take a deep breath, steeling myself. It's time.

"Sydney?" I call out, striding down the hallway towards her bedroom. No answer.

A tendril of unease curls in my gut. "Sydney?" I try again, pushing open the door. The room is empty, the bed still neatly made.

Panic starts to rise in my chest as I search room after room. Where is she? She wouldn't have left without telling me, would she?

Unless...

The thought hits me like a physical blow. What if she found out about Lance? About the hit I ordered on her cousin?

I let out a curse, slamming my fist against the wall. How could I have been so careless? So blind?

I storm back to my study, barking orders into my phone. "Find her. Now. I want every available man out there looking. Check her old apartment, her work, anywhere she might have gone."

As I wait for news, scenarios play out in my mind, each one worse than the last. Sydney, heartbroken and betrayed, running as far from me as she can get. Sydney in the hands of my enemies, used as leverage against me. Sydney hurt, alone, thinking I never truly cared for her.

The minutes drag by like hours. I pour myself a generous measure of vodka, downing it in one burning gulp. It does nothing to calm the storm raging inside me.

Just as I'm about to go out and search for her myself, I hear the front door open. My heart leaps into my throat as I rush to the foyer.

"Sydney," I breathe, relief washing over me as I see her standing there. She's pale, her eyes red-rimmed as if she's been crying. But she's here. She's safe.

I move towards her, wanting nothing more than to pull her into my arms. But something in her expression stops me cold. She looks... guilty. Scared. Like she's carrying a secret of her own.

"Where were you?" I demand, harsher than I intended. "I've been going out of my mind with worry."

Sydney flinches at my tone, wrapping her arms around herself protectively. "I... I needed some air," she says softly, not quite meeting my eyes. "I'm sorry, I should have left a note."

I study her face, trying to read the emotions flickering across it. There's more to this, I'm sure of it. Has she found out about Lance after all? Is she working up the courage to confront me?

The irony of the situation isn't lost on me. Here we are, both clearly hiding something, both terrified of the other's reaction. If it wasn't so potentially devastating, I might laugh.

"Sydney," I say, gentling my voice. I take a step closer, relieved when she doesn't back away. "We need to talk. There's something I need to tell you. Something I should have told you a long time ago."

She looks up at me, her green eyes wide and vulnerable. "I... I have something to tell you too," she whispers.

My heart hammers against my ribs. This is it. The moment that could change everything between us. I take a deep breath, steeling myself for whatever comes next.

"Let's go to my study," I suggest, placing a hand on the small of her back to guide her. The familiar touch seems to steady us both.

Once in the study, I close the door behind us, sealing us off from the rest of the world. Sydney perches on the edge of the leather sofa, her hands twisting nervously in her lap. I resist the urge to pace, instead leaning against my desk, trying to project a calm I don't feel.

I’ve faced countless enemies. Been shot at dozens if not hundreds of times. And yet right here, right now, I’m more terrified than I’ve been in my life.

"Sydney," I begin, my voice rough with emotion. "What I'm about to tell you... it's not easy to say. And I understand if it changes how you feel about me. But I need you to know the truth. All of it."

She nods, her eyes never leaving mine. "Okay," she says softly. "I'm listening."

I take a deep breath, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. "It's about your cousin, Lance. His death... it wasn't a robbery gone wrong."

Sydney goes very still, her face paling. "What do you mean?" she whispers. “How do you know?”

"I ordered the hit," I confess, the words hanging heavy in the air between us. "I didn't know he was your cousin, krasotka . I swear I didn't. But he was a witness in Miron's case, and I... I did what I thought I had to do to protect my brother."

The silence that follows is deafening. I watch as emotions dance across Sydney's face. First there’s shock, then disbelief, then absolute horror. And then, finally, a deep, gut-wrenching pain that cuts me to my core.

"You..." she chokes out, tears welling in her eyes. "You had Lance killed?"

I nod, unable to form words past the tightness in my throat. I want to go to her, to take her in my arms and beg for forgiveness. But I know I have no right. Not after what I've done.

Sydney stands abruptly, swaying slightly on her feet. I reach out to steady her, but she flinches away from my touch. The rejection stings, even though I know I deserve it.

"I can't..." she gasps, wrapping her arms around herself as if trying to hold herself together. "I can't process this right now. I need to go."

She turns towards the door, but I can't let her leave. Not like this. Not without trying, not without telling her how I feel. How much I care for her, how deeply I love her.

"Sydney, wait," I plead, moving to block her path. "Please, let me explain. I know what I did was unforgivable, but you have to understand."

"Understand what?" she cries, anger flashing in her tear-filled eyes. "That you murdered my cousin? That you've been lying to me this whole time? Holding me, kissing me, fucking me, knowing that his blood was on your hands?”

Her words are like daggers to my heart, but I push on. "I've done terrible things, Sydney. I won't deny that. But everything I've done, I've done to protect my family. To build a future for us."

"Us?" Sydney repeats, her voice breaking on the word. "How can there be an 'us' after this?"

I reach for her, desperate to make her understand. "Because I love you," I confess, the words torn from the depths of my dark, blood-splattered soul. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, Sydney. You've changed me, made me want to be a better man. Please, give me a chance to prove it to you. Let me show you who I can be.”

For a moment, I see a flicker of something in her eyes—longing, hope, love. But then it's gone, replaced by a steely resolve that chills me to the bone.

"I can't do this," she says, her voice barely above a whisper. "I need to go. Now."

She pushes past me, heading for the door. But before she can reach it, she suddenly stumbles, her face going pale.

"Sydney?" I'm at her side in an instant, my arms going around her waist to support her. This time, she doesn't push me away. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

She looks up at me, her eyes wide and scared. And then, in a voice so soft I almost miss it, she says two words that shatter my world all over again:

"I'm pregnant."

The shock of her confession hits me like a physical blow. Pregnant? My mind reels, trying to process this new information even as I struggle with the weight of my own revelation.

"You're... we're..." I can't seem to form a coherent thought, let alone a sentence.

Sydney nods, tears spilling down her cheeks. "I just found out. That's where I was—at the pharmacy, taking a test. Three tests, actually.” She laughs, the sound bitter and hollow. “I wanted to be sure.”

My hand moves of its own accord to her still-flat stomach. A baby. Our baby. Growing inside her right now. The surge of emotions that washes over me is overwhelming—joy, fear, protectiveness, love. All warring with the guilt and shame of what I've just confessed, and the fear that she’ll never want anything to do with me again after this.

"Sydney," I breathe, cupping her face in my hands. "This changes everything. We can figure this out, together. We’re a family now. I’ll do whatever it takes to make this right, to keep you both safe."

For a moment, I see a flicker of hope in her eyes. But then she pulls away, shaking her head.

"I can't," she says, her voice breaking. "I can't do this right now. I need... I need time to think. To process everything."

Before I can stop her, she's out the door, her footsteps echoing down the hallway. I hear the front door slam, and then... silence.

I sink to my knees, the weight of everything crashing down on me. Sydney is gone. Carrying my child. Knowing the truth about who I am, what I've done. How I feel for her.

I’m all alone.

And I've never felt more lost in my life.