Secrets in Pelican Crossing (Pelican Crossing #2)

Eighteen

It was still light when Finn opened his eyes, the late afternoon sun shining in through the window as if the storm had never happened. But it had, and afterwards…

Hearing a slight sound, he turned. Liz was awake and gazing at him, her eyes filled with emotion. ‘Have you been awake for long?’ He was embarrassed to think that she might have been lying there watching him sleeping.

‘Not long,’ she said, in a tone of voice Finn didn’t recognise.

‘I don’t… I didn’t intend… I’m sorry.’ He attempted to rise, thinking she was regretting their lovemaking.

‘No need to be,’ she said with a smile. ’I have no regrets, far from it.’

Finn gently stroked her forehead and dropped a kiss on her lips. ‘I intended to take my time with you, to court you properly. Sorry, I know it’s an old-fashioned word. I’m an old-fashioned guy. This isn’t how I meant to behave. I should have been more restrained. But seeing you there, glistening from the shower.’ He smiled tenderly. ‘It was more than this man could stand. But I’m sorry, I can’t promise you anything. I have…’

‘Obligations. I know.’ She sat up in bed and pulled the covers up to her chin, as if suddenly aware of her nakedness. ‘I understand. I have them too.’

Finn wasn’t sure what she meant. He knew she had two daughters, but weren’t they independent – one married and one in a relationship? Unlike him, who had a daughter and grandson dependent on him. Adele might encourage him to make his own life, but he was aware how she still cried herself to sleep some nights, hiding her red eyes next morning with makeup, how she relied on him to be there for Sandy, to provide the male role model denied to him when Tim died.

Finn saw Liz’s disappointment, the smile that didn’t quite make it all the way up to her eyes. ‘It doesn’t mean…’ he began, ‘… I still want to… What I’m trying to say is that I do want to see you again, to continue what we… Hell,’ he dragged a hand through his already dishevelled hair, ‘I’m no good at this. It’s been so long.’

‘For me too.’ Liz spoke so softly he could barely hear her. ‘Let’s just play it by ear, shall we?’

Finn felt as if a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Play it by ear. He could do that. And perhaps things would change. They always did, didn’t they , he thought, ignoring the tiny voice in his head which was saying, And pigs might fly .

‘Hungry?’ Liz asked, defusing the emotion which filled the room. ‘I have some leftovers from last night.’

There was nothing Finn would have liked more than to stay here with this warm woman eating leftovers, perhaps drinking a glass of wine, then coming back to bed for a repeat of the lovemaking they’d enjoyed earlier. But he knew Adele would worry if he didn’t come home, and Sandy would want to tell him about Bluey’s latest antics. ‘I’d love to,’ he said, ‘but…’

‘I know,’ she said, ‘obligations.’ She gave a gentle laugh. ‘It’s okay, remember?’

‘You’re a good woman,’ he said, ‘good and sexy. But I really must go.’

*

Liz sat on the deck watching the sun go down. She couldn’t believe what had happened, that she and Finn had ended up in bed together. She hugged herself remembering how he had made her feel, how nothing else had seemed to matter except this man, this moment.

And now he was gone. She understood. Totally. He had family to take care of – his daughter and grandson relied on him. But Liz suddenly felt lonelier than she ever had before .

Her phone rang. Mandy. ‘Hi, sweetheart, what’s up?’ Liz asked, trying to sound normal, as if her world hadn’t suddenly been turned upside down.

Mandy’s voice was filled with excitement. ‘We’re leaving sooner than expected,’ she said. ‘Gary has arranged to meet an old mate up there and check things out before the trip and he wants me to go with him. Can I drop round and pick up some of my stuff?’

‘Of course you can. You know you don’t need to ask. Why don’t you stay for dinner? I’ve barely seen you since you supposedly moved in.’

‘Sorry, Mum.’ There was the sound of a conversation in the background, then, ‘Sounds good. I may stay over too. Gary’s busy tonight.’

‘It’ll only be leftovers…’ But Liz was talking to empty space. She went inside to check what was left from last night’s dinner, poured herself a glass of wine and went into the bedroom which looked as if a bomb had hit it. She remade the bed, then stared at her face in the mirror, trying to work out if the passion she had experienced with Finn had left its mark. But her face looked the same as ever, perhaps a touch flushed, but that could be with the effort of making the bed. By the time Mandy arrived, she was feeing calmer.

‘You saw Finn Hunter again today.’ Mandy wasted no time in mentioning him. She and Liz were seated on the deck with the bottle of wine Mandy had brought.

‘I did. We had a picnic by the river. A barbecue.’

‘Sounds like fun. You need more fun in your life, Mum. You’re seeing him again? Maybe he can be company for you over Easter.’ Mandy took a gulp of wine.

Liz flinched. It wouldn’t be Finn who was keeping her company over Easter. ‘I expect he’ll be spending it with his family,’ she hedged. ‘He lives with his daughter and grandson. Easter is a time for children.’

‘Oh, that’s right. Wasn’t it his son-in-law who drowned trying to save his son? It must have been traumatic for the little boy. He’s quite young, isn’t he?’

‘Six. He got a spaniel pup for his birthday.’ Liz knew the little boy had been traumatised. He’d been right there, seen his dad go under the waves. He was seeing the counsellor at the clinic. She thought his daughter was receiving counselling too. It was a lot for Finn to handle. He wouldn’t have much time to spend with her. She winced, castigating herself for having such a selfish thought.

‘Not a cat?’ Mandy laughed. She knew her mother’s predilection for cats over dogs. ‘Pity you can’t have one here.’

‘It wouldn’t be fair on the poor creature, and I doubt the body corporate would permit it.’ Liz’s small apartment was on the third floor of the building. ‘I have to make do with the one I have.’ She glanced regretfully inside to where the small, white, wooden cat sat on one shelf of the bookcase.

‘I guess.’ But Mandy didn’t look convinced.

‘I’m glad you’re here tonight, Mandy. When you said you wanted to move in, I expected to see more of you.’ Liz forgot her initial concerns. ‘Gary… you and him… is it serious?’

Mandy reddened. She ran a finger around the edge of her glass. ‘I’d like it to be, and I think… Oh, Mum, how can you tell if a man’s serious? He says I’m special, enjoys being with me, but…’

‘He hasn’t said he loves you?’

Mandy shook her head.

‘You love him?’

‘I’ve never felt like this before. When I’m with him it’s as if everything is better, brighter. It’s difficult to explain.’

‘Have you told him how you feel?’

‘No! I don’t want to scare him off.’

‘You think it would?’

‘I don’t know. What if it did? I couldn’t bear it.’

‘Men are different from us,’ Liz said. ‘They sometimes find it hard to express their feelings, to put them into words. What’s your gut feeling?’

‘I don’t know.’

‘Maybe this trip…?’

‘Maybe.’ Mandy took a sip of wine, stared out into space then asked, ‘What about you and Finn? I get the feeling there’s something there. Have you…?’ She waggled her eyebrows.

Liz felt herself redden. This wasn’t the sort of conversation she wanted to have with her daughter. While it seemed okay to talk about Mandy’s sex life, hers was so new and surprising she preferred to keep it to herself. Though she was pleased her daughter didn’t consider her too old to have one .

‘Oh, Mum, you have! You deserve it. It’s time you had a man in your life, one who’s single, one who can…’

‘Steady on. This is my life you’re talking about. And Finn may be single, but he isn’t free.’

‘Not…? Oh, you mean his daughter and grandson? But surely they…?’ Mandy’s voice trailed off as Liz’s expression changed. ‘Oops, did I overstep the mark? Is there something about our local newspaper editor I don’t know? Does he have some dark secret hidden in his past?’

Liz felt the colour drain from her face. It wasn’t Finn who had a dark secret. What would Mandy think if she knew… when she knew, because Liz couldn’t keep Julie and Tilly a secret for long. ‘That’s enough, Mandy. It’s becoming cool out here. We should go inside and eat,’ she said, desperate to change the subject.

‘But…’ Mandy began.

But Liz had already risen and was walking inside.