By Saturday evening, Liz was beginning to feel more comfortable with Julie, though it was still somewhat awkward with Tilly whose moods swung from curiosity to being downright rude. They’d spent the day at the beach, the relaxed atmosphere allowing Liz to get to know Julie better, then had dinner at her apartment where Tilly had wandered around looking at the photographs and asking Liz questions about Tara and Mandy.
After dinner, Tilly, who had been rifling through Liz’s collection of DVDs asked if she could watch a movie and, relieved she had found something to please her, Liz and Julie had retired to the deck with glasses of wine.
It was pleasant out there, with the breeze coming off the water and the sound of the waves in the distance.
‘You must love it here,’ Julie said.
‘I do.’
Julie glanced inside to where Tilly was engrossed in watching Love Actually , one of Liz’s favourite movies. ‘Tilly seems happy. I worry about her.’
‘You said it was why you contacted me. What do you expect me to do to help?’
Julie shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Now we’re here, it seems like a crazy idea. I thought maybe you could talk to her, tell her about your experience, help her understand what can happen. Oh, I don’t know. Maybe I wasn’t thinking straight. ’
‘Have you thought of putting her on the pill?’
Julie’s eyes widened. ‘You don’t think…?’
‘Probably not, but it never hurts to be prepared for all possibilities. If I’d been…’ Her voice trailed off as she realised…
‘I’d have never been born.’
‘I didn’t mean…’ But had she? Becoming pregnant with Julie had changed her life. She had no idea what her future might have been like if it hadn’t happened, if the family hadn’t been forced to move, if they’d remained in their small country town. Would she have gone to university, married a local boy? It was all immaterial now, but in those months when she was pregnant, and in the years which followed, she often wondered how different her life would have been if she hadn’t met John Barr, hadn’t gone to the party, hadn’t…
‘I made sure Tara and Mandy took precautions,’ she said.
Tara and Mandy hadn’t been sexually active at fifteen, but as soon as they started showing an interest in boys and Liz had an inkling they might, despite Tommy’s protestations, she had taken them to their family doctor to have him prescribe the pill. She didn’t want them to follow her path. She didn’t want Tilly to, either.
‘I thought maybe you could talk to her,’ Julie said again, clearly uncomfortable with the way the conversation was going.
‘I doubt that would help. At her age, they think they know it all. I remember I did. I don’t think any amount of talking from an older relative would have made any difference.’
‘Oh!’ Julie took a gulp of wine.
‘But I’m glad, if it led to your contacting me, to my meeting you and Tilly. I can’t tell you how glad I am.’ Liz put her hand on Julie’s, marvelling yet again that this was her daughter, her own flesh and blood and that her granddaughter was there in the next room.
‘Any sort of discussion has to come from Tilly,’ Liz said, watching the teenager through the glass. ‘Let’s see what happens in the next few days.’
‘Mmm.’ Julie didn’t sound very hopeful. ‘She can be very tight-lipped about things. I only discovered about the photo by accident. I found her crying in her room and forced her to tell me what was wrong.’ She sighed. ‘Maybe I was wrong to think you had the answer.’
‘No, not at all. But I can’t give her a lecture. It would never work.’
*
Now it was Sunday, and Julie and Tilly were going to do their own thing while Liz visited her mother. She normally enjoyed visiting Joan in her villa in the retirement village. The Haven was a relaxing place to visit and lunch with Joan was usually a happy occasion. Being Easter Sunday, Liz knew her mother would have prepared a special meal for the two of them and would no doubt present her with a chocolate Easter egg; Joan believed you never grew too old for chocolate Easter eggs.
The call from Finn when she was barely awake had been a surprise. He knew about Julie and Tilly’s arrival, so they hadn’t made arrangements for the weekend, but he said he’d wanted to check on her, to find out how the meeting with her daughter had gone. It was somehow comforting to curl up in bed, to hear his voice, and to attempt to describe her delight at meeting Julie and Tilly. ‘Julie’s lovely,’ she said, ‘and Tilly’s a typical teenager, all angst and moodiness.’
‘Are you going to be tied up with them as long as they’re here or is there a chance we can meet?’ Finn asked at last, when they had been chatting for some time, she’d told him about Julie’s worries, and he’d related the story of Sandy at the beach.
‘I’m not sure. I expect so.’ Liz had taken two weeks leave from work and, although eager to see Finn again and see where things led, she was loath to give up any time with Julie and Tilly, not knowing when she might see them again. ‘Can I let you know?’
‘Sure,’ Finn said, but Liz detected a note of frustration in his voice.
‘It’s not that I don’t want to see you,’ she said. ‘I do, but with them here, it’s difficult. This is all so new to me. I don’t know…’
‘I understand,’ he said.
But did he ?
‘Thanks,’ Liz said. ‘I’m sorry. What are you doing today?’ She wanted to picture his day.
‘We’re hunting for Easter eggs. It seems the Easter bunny was busy last night. I’m not sure who’s the more excited, Sandy or Bluey.’
Liz chuckled. ‘The dog’s hunting for Easter eggs?’
‘You got it. Where Sandy goes, Bluey follows. There are going to be tears if the dog manages to collect more than the boy. ’
Liz chuckled again. ‘Sounds like you might need to referee. Maybe I should leave you to it. I don’t have anything nearly as exciting planned. I’m having lunch with my mother and I have to break the news she has a new granddaughter and great-granddaughter who want to meet her.’
‘Wow! She doesn’t know?’
‘I didn’t want to tell her before I had to, in case they didn’t come, or we hated each other on sight.’
‘Good luck with it.’
‘Thanks, I’ll need it.’
‘I look forward to hearing all about it.’ It was Finn’s turn to chuckle.
It was no laughing matter , Liz thought when the call ended. She wasn’t looking forward to breaking the news to her mother. But both Julie and Tilly were keen to meet her. Liz hoped Joan would agree. It had all happened a long time ago. But she knew her mother, and knew that when they came to Pelican Crossing Joan had put it all behind her and had never expected Liz’s illegitimate daughter to reappear thirty-four years later.
*
When Liz parked outside her mother’s villa, Joan was at the door to greet her as usual. Liz sometimes wondered how she managed it – if she’d been waiting there for ages, or had been peering out the window, only to dash to the door when Liz’s car came into view.
Today, she didn’t waste time wondering. She was too busy trying to figure out what to say, how to break it to her mother that the baby she thought was gone from their life for ever was in Pelican Crossing, and had a daughter of her own.
‘Hi, Mum. Happy Easter.’ Liz greeted her mother with her usual hug and kiss.
‘Happy Easter, darling.’ Joan held Liz at arm’s length. ‘You’re looking a bit peaky. Are you getting out enough?’
‘I’m fine, Mum. How are you?’
‘Oh, I’m well as usual, apart from a few aches and pains, but I can’t complain. I saw my doctor last week for my annual checkup and she tells me I’m very healthy. She didn’t add “for my age” but I saw it in her expression.’ She chuckled. ‘Come on in. I’ve made a lamb roast – your favourite.’
‘Lovely, Mum.’ She handed her mother the bunch of flowers she’d brought. Lamb roast had been her dad’s favourite, not hers, but her mother could be forgiven for forgetting. Liz suspected she missed him more, not less, as time went on.
‘I’ll just put these in water and check the oven, then we can have a glass of wine.’ Joan headed for the kitchen where Liz knew she wouldn’t be welcome. She went into the living area and looked around.
‘You’ve changed things around,’ she said when her mother reappeared, noting how the two armchairs which normally sat one on either side of the sofa were now sitting together on one side of the room, the sofa on the other.
Joan blushed. She handed Liz a glass of wine and took a seat in one of the armchairs. ‘It’s… when I have a friend round to watch television. We both like the armchairs.’
‘A friend?’ Liz stared at her mother.
‘Don’t look at me as if I’ve grown horns. I do have friends, you know.’
But not friends who cause you to move your furniture around .
‘And what’s this friend ’s name?’
‘Stan’s new in the village. He bought Val’s house. You remember I told you she’d passed away, the woman I used to play Scrabble with. It was so sad, she…’
‘Mum!’ Liz couldn’t believe her ears. Her mother had a man friend, one she watched television with, in her rearranged living room.
‘What, dear? Surprised to discover your mother can still attract a man?’ She patted her recently styled white hair. ‘It’s not too late for you, either. I was speaking to Mandy before she went on this dive trip, and she mentioned something about you and our local newspaper editor.’
‘That’s enough, Mother.’ This was not the sort of conversation she expected to have with her mother, to hear that her daughter and her mother had been gossiping about her, about her and Finn.
‘I have some news too,’ she said when they had progressed from the roast lamb and vegetables, through her mother’s standard dessert of apple pie with ice cream, and were seated back in the living room with cups of tea. After her mother’s revelation, she had less hesitation about bringing up Julie and Tilly.
‘About you and the nice editor? He’s done wonders for The Crossing Courier . Everyone I speak to is full of praise for him.’
‘No, not about Finn.’ Liz fizzed with annoyance so spoke more irritably than she intended. ‘It’s about my daughter, the one I gave up for adoption. She’s here, here in Pelican Crossing, she and her fourteen-year-old daughter.’