See Her (Turn it Up #1)

Chapter 20

20

JACK

When she loves, she dives in deep,

She’ll tell you when you’re wrong

But she’ll still hold you when you sleep.

Look into her eyes,

Whatcha think you’re gonna see?

The flash of lightning,

Or the calm of the sea?

She’s the real deal,

Yet she’s the fantasy.

She’ll show you her best,

But she’ll hide away the rest.

Do you see her?

Because I see her.

No one’s ever going to see her like I see her.

Do you see her?

Because I see he r.

She’s gentle as a spring rain,

And she likes to hide her pain

Way deep down inside her,

Raging like a hurricane.

She’s soft and sweet

Between the sheets,

But she hides granite underneath.

She thinks she’s lost

But I can see,

She is right where she needs to be…

Do you see her?

“ D amn, Jack,” says Matt, as the song fades out.

The four of us are sitting around, listening to the song we just laid down on the demo. We’ve had to get together to write hooks, melodies, drum beats, all that. Then we practiced and rehearsed until we got it just right. It isn’t perfect. It isn’t what you’d be able to create in a real studio, but on a demo for an unknown band… it’s something.

See Her is the song I’ve been writing like crazy since the night I watched Mayzie dancing. Every day I’ve spent with her since, a little more has been added. From that first kiss to her passionate support of me and the music, to the most recent time we made love, it’s all added to it.

Matt and I did a writing session, putting the bones together. Then we brought in Chris and Josh to give it flesh and blood. After practicing to the point of knowing we had it nailed, we took t he plunge, shelled out the recording money, and now it’s part of our music résumé.

This was the first time we’d gotten to sit back and take it in the way a prospective listener, or God willing, an agent, would.

The melody takes me to Mayzie’s studio where I’ve now watched her dance several times, and she’s sensational. She’s so fucking dynamic in her movement and charisma, and no one sees it but her fellow dancers which she seems fine with, but to me, it almost feels like a crime to keep it hidden in a studio instead of setting it free on some kind of public stage.

I don’t realize I’ve fallen deep into a daydream of her performing to this song until the guys start to speak up when the music fades out.

“Jack,” Josh starts. “Never has all the work we’ve put into a song been so worth it,” he says, shaking his head with what looks like a combo of awe and disbelief on his face.“It’s gold.”

“I want someone to hear it,” Chris says, tapping his drumsticks on his pant legs.He’s having one of his rare serious moments. “I mean it. We throw songs on the demo that never get heard, but I want people to hear this one.”

I take in a deep, shaky breath as I clasp my hands together over my knees and look down at the floor. Turning these lyrics into an actual, powerful, energizing song, was more of a rush than I expected. Of all the songs we’ve come up with before, of all the lyrics we’ve written and put to music… I’ve never felt so satisfied, so accomplished, so proud of my work. Our work. I feel shaken, straight down to my bones.

“I do, too.” I finally say.I don’t know if it will ever get heard by the world, but there is definitely one person that needs to hear it…

Mayzi e

Jack knocks lightly before letting himself in. He hangs his keys on the hook by mine and sets down his guitar case before calming down an excited Penny who’s trying to maul him.I’m in the kitchen and have just set the timer on the oven. I feel like I’ve hardly seen Jack for a few days. The guys have been practicing a lot,so I figured I’d make us brownies.

“Hey,” I say, giving him a cheerful smile as he makes his way to me.

“Hey, baby,” he says, giving me a tired smile. I open my arms wide for him to hug me, and he more than obliges, wrapping me up completely and playfully nibbling my ear. Not sure if he meant for my lady bits to react to that, but they definitely did.“What is this?” he asks, when he leans back just enough to look at me. He’s looking at my mouth.

“What? Have I got something?” I ask, going to wipe my mouth.

“No. I got it,” he says, catching my hand and leaning in to lick the corner of my mouth, making my ovaries want to combust for a split second.But just as quickly, I realize I probably had brownie batter on my face.He leans back and looks at me with a cocky smile, still not releasing me.

“Okay, I might’ve licked the spoon,” I say, indignantly.

“Sexy,” he says, leaning down to give me an actual kiss. “I missed you.”

“You’ve been busy,” I say, stepping away to put bowls in the sink to rinse them.

“Being busy doesn’t mean I can’t I miss you anyway.And speaking of being busy; is your laptop running?”

“Yeah, here,” I say, turning it towards him on the island counter.

“So we just updated the demo. It’s got a new song, and I want to know what you think.” He glances at me almost nervously as he fishes a flash drive out of his back pocket.

“Okay,” I say, excitedly. I had no idea they were working on something new. He plugs the USB into my laptop and loads the music. He clicks the mouse pad a couple of times, and after a few seconds, we are greeted by Chris playing a hard, steady, ominous drum beat, followed by some seriously electrifying guitar chords by Josh.

I can tell Jack is using the acoustic in this, strumming in time with the bass drum, while Matt’s bass guitar gives it a foundation. The music comes together and builds just enough anticipation for when Jack’s low, raspy voice comes in, passionate as ever. You can almost hear how hard he’s working his diaphragm to push the words out with such force.

As always, it reaches in and grabs hold of something deep inside me, and it’s instantaneous.Once I get past that initial hit, the lyrics pull me in another direction. And then my heart stops. It stills in my chest as I hang on to the words, each one sending a jolt deeper into my chest.

I can’t do anything else. The words have robbed me of my ability to move, talk, or breathe. Although I try, I can’t seem to retain every single word, and my focus transitions from the words themselves to the feelings they’re invoking inside me. I feel like my entire body is in a vice grip, while feelings of home, love, realization, clarity, and elation, penetrate my every pore.

I’m so overwhelmed by the variety of emotions I almost can’t take it. In fact, I grab hold of the countertop to steady myself, willing the breath that’s stuck in my throat to go out or in.

This song is about a girl, but… no way.

Jack

I’m seeing so many changes dance across Mayzie’s face as she listens to the song that she doesn’t know she inspired. Staring at seemingly nothing but the stony grey island countertop, even after the song ends, she doesn’t move for a few seconds .

“Mayzie?” I have to prod her. “What did you think?”

She looks up and right into my eyes. Hers are shimmering like she’s about to cry. Her expression is a mixture of disbelief, amazement, and something else I can’t put my finger on.

“Who?”

“You,” I cut her off, understanding immediately what must be flying though her head. “It’s about you.”

She expels a shaky breath before quickly drawing in another one, and I’m sure she’s going back into herself; drifting towards a this is too much good happening all at once spiral.

“It’s you.” I reach out a hand to her and gently grab on to her wrist, brushing my thumb back and forth across it.I’m not sure what’s going on, but I feel like she needs an anchor. “Do you not like it?” I chance the question while holding my breath. “Did I get it wrong?”

“No, that’s not it at all,” she rushes to assure me, swallowing hard. “It’s just, I spent most of my life being what I thought other people wanted me to be,” she starts to explain. “And when I grew older and wised up, I had no clue who I was and have been trying all this time to figure it out. And then you come along and figure it out in a matter of weeks,” she marvels as her eyes turn glassy.

“It’s who you are to me,” I say, inching closer to her, leaning one arm on the counter in front of her and running my other hand down the back of her hair.

“You see me,” she chuckles on an exhale. “Like the song.” She draws in a long breath and lets it out in a puff, before turning to me with an affirmation settling in her grey eyes and the corners of her mouth pulling upwards in a sweet smile.

I know what she’s doing.She’s allowed herself to have a moment of weakness in front of me and now she’s reeling it in.She’s quickly composing herself. One day, I hope she’ll no longer feel the need to hide that part of herself; that she’ll realize she can cry, scream, whatever in front of me, because I’m not going anywhere. For now, I’m letting it slide because she’s disarming me with that smile of hers.

“Are you okay?” I ask as I put my hand on her hip and draw her just a little bit closer. I want to hold her close, but still give her space if she needs it.

She drapes one arm around my neck, and puts her other hand over mine on her hip. “I am so incredibly okay,” she answers. “And that song…” she shakes her head, “…It’s unbelievable. Not just the words, all of it. That beat is so heavy, and the music is so charged.”

I can’t help grinning as I press my lips to her cheek. “It’s going to move people,” she finishes.

I’m floored at the words coming out of my girl’s mouth. She truly loves it, and my heart feels like it’s going to grow too big for my chest.

“Yeah, if I get to play it,” I say against her temple.

“What do you mean?” she asks, tilting her head to look at me.

“Well, some songs we don’t play at our shows. We save them strictly for the demo.No label wants to buy a song you’ve already shared with everyone.They want to be the ones to introduce you and your music.”

She blows out a breath. “Well, that sucks,” she conveys, and I let out an endearing laugh. “You really need to hide that one away?” She tilts her head up in a playful plea. “People need to hear it.”

“Sorry, baby,” I tell her regretfully. “The best ones are the ones that get saved for the right moment,” I kiss her knuckles, “and that is by far the best one,” I say in closing, just as the oven dings.

Mayzie raises a smart eyebrow at me in return before sighing. “Saved by the brownies,” she chides, and I give her a love tap on the ass as she turns away.