See You at the Finish Line (Run, Love, Repeat #1)

37. Paige

The day goes by in a blur and I’m back in my own head, the fog of lust cleared. Adam was right, I’m glad we didn’t have sex this morning—I would have regretted it. Not just because Leah is in the hospital and Levi is alone, but because there’s still something unresolved between us. I can’t sleep with him—well, have sex with him—without clearing everything up first.

I have to know why he didn’t text me back.

This might be the quietest road trip of my life. Even my drive to Vancouver featured more car karaoke and talking to myself than this silent ride with Adam, music playing softly in the background. It’s not that it’s uncomfortable, but I don’t know what to say in this situation.

I think I’m in love with him.

In fact, I’ve never stopped being in love with him, and yet I’m so fucking mad at him for not texting me back, for not reaching out. I’m mad at myself for letting my pride stop me from reaching out again, but I couldn’t go through checking my phone every five seconds again for weeks, months, hoping to hear from him .

The disappointment destroyed me, and I’m too fragile right now to let that happen again. I’m 100 percent a coward.

I’m mad at Leah for getting into an accident, even though it wasn’t her fault.

I’m mad at my mom for dying.

But that kiss. It lit me up from the inside out.

Adam drops me off at the front entrance to the hospital before he parks. We know what room Leah is in, so he’ll be able to find us.

I rush into the hospital and an orderly takes me up to the ICU, to Leah. She’s lying on the bed, wires hooked up everywhere, and she looks as broken and fragile as I feel. A sob bursts out of me as I throw myself into the chair beside her. I want to wrap her up, to whisk her away and bring her home where I can hold her and take care of her. I want to never set foot in this hospital again.

At least she’s breathing. My mind flashes to my mom lying in a similar room, but no monitors beeped. No wires were hooked up.

Leah is here and she’s alive.

She’s not our mom.

I made it in time and she is not dying.

I tell myself over and over again. I imagine my rational self talking to my hysterical self and calming me down, like my therapist taught me.

She doesn’t wake. It’s so hard to leave, but I let a nurse take me to Levi. He’s sitting up in his crib and is so much bigger than when I left three months ago. Seeing him on a screen is so different than holding him in my arms. I pick him up and he giggles, grabbing at my hair .

“Hey, Levi, baby, Auntie Paige is here. Everything is going to be okay.” I breathe in his delicious baby scent and let him soothe me. “Ow. Hey, stop pulling Auntie’s hair,” I tell him, but like the little rebel he is, he doesn’t let go. I won’t let go either.

“Can I bring him to see Leah?” I ask the nurse.

She swears me to secrecy since I’m not really supposed to. I have to sign a whole bunch of paperwork and show all my IDs. I’m glad they’re taking this seriously—they’re probably petrified of a lawsuit.

As I carry Levi down to Leah, I start to doubt whether it’s a good idea. I’m about to turn into the room when I hear a low timbre voice, stopping me dead in my tracks.

“Hey, Leah,” Adam says. I peek around the door frame to see him sitting in the chair beside Leah’s bed, bent over with his elbows resting on his knees. Leah isn’t awake.

“We haven’t officially met, but I’ve heard a lot about you. Maybe you’ve heard about me too. I think Paige is mad at me, so try not to hold that against me. I’m Adam and I’m in love with your sister. I’m about to be the biggest asshole ever because I’m going to selfishly ask you to wake up so I can feel good about telling her. If you could do me that solid, that’d be great.”

I have to stifle a laugh because Adam is the least selfish person I know.

“And I know that you waking up would bring the biggest smile to her face. I’m sure you know the one—it lights up the whole damn world. I haven’t seen it in years. So don’t hold my selfishness against me, because all I want is whatever would make her smile like that, even if it isn’t me. She’s been through so much. She can’t lose you, Leah. You know it better than I do because you were there. Levi needs you too, so there’s always your son.” He laughs and my heart swells, growing three sizes. I try to sneak away but Levi sneezes, busting me.

I walk into the room like I didn’t just hear the man I’m in love with pour his heart out to my unconscious sister.

“Hey, look who’s here for a visit!”

Adam stands from his chair, and I pretend not to notice his flushed cheeks.

“Hey, I was telling your sister that you’d kick her ass if she didn’t wake up soon.”

“I’m surprised that didn’t work,” I say, ignoring the way my heart is beating out of my chest.

“Levi,” I say, turning to the baby in my arms. “This is Adam, and he’s trying to use Auntie Paige to threaten Mommy into waking up. Do you think that will work? Should we threaten Mommy some more?” I coo. He responds by sticking his hand into my mouth.

“Hey, buddy,” Adam says, walking over to us. He helps extract the baby fist that’s trying to scratch my gums out. “It’s nice to meet you. Your Auntie is a meanie, eh? Don’t worry, I’m learning that’s how she shows affection.” His eyes flash up to mine and he gives me a big grin.

“You’ll learn, Levi, that sometimes people hear what they want, and if Adam thinks me being mean to him means something else, that’s his problem.” Levi giggles.

“What are you teaching my kid?” a voice croaks from behind us .

“Leah!” I exclaim, running over to her, and plop in the chair with enough force, it scrapes against the floor with a loud screech. Levi immediately tries to grab at the wires attached to his mom.

“Here, let me take him.” Adam swoops in and scoops Levi from my arms. I’m distracted by his muscles holding a baby.

Daddy.

The word pops into my head and I can’t get it out. Shit. I shake my head and look back at Leah. She’s trying to smile but her lips are cracked.

“Levi’s okay?” she asks desperately, her eyes glued to her son. I can’t hold back the sob that bubbles up my throat.

“He’s okay, totally fine, Lee,” I assure her. “You, on the other hand, look terrible.” Tears well up in my eyes and I take her hand, unable to stop the smile that bursts onto my face. It is a struggle not to turn to Adam.

“You should see your face,” Leah retorts, wincing. “Scratch that, apparently lying makes my insides ache.”

“I don’t think that’s medically accurate.”

“Are you inside my body right now? No, so you don’t get a say.”

My smile widens.

“You’re beautiful,” Leah whispers and then winces again. “Okay fine, you were right. It’s not lying, it’s talking that hurts.”

“You’re talking a lot for someone who says talking hurts.”

“Shut up.”

“I love you too,” I tell her, laughing. She tries to smile again but it doesn’t quite work. Her eyes move to Adam holding Levi and she turns back to me, raising her brows. I sigh and shake my head. I’m not having this conversation with her right now.

Instead, I smack her as gently as humanly possible.

“Hey!” she says.

“That’s for nearly dying.”

“Sorry, I won’t do it again.”

“Damn right you won’t. I’ll wrap you in bubble wrap and lock you in the house if I have to.”

“Okay, Mom.” She sighs, worry filling her eyes as she looks back at Levi.

“He’s okay,” I reassure her. “No major injuries—just a few bruises that are on their way to healing. Your car seat stubbornness saved his life.”

“Damn right it did,” she says triumphantly.

A nurse pops her head in. “Okay, you’ve got to take Levi back now. He’s technically not supposed to be in here.”

“Can I hold him?” Leah asks.

The nurse looks apologetic. “I’m sorry, hun, but we don’t want to risk infection.”

“It’s okay, he’s comfortable right now sitting on all those muscles,” I whisper to my sister. I’m jealous of my nephew.

Leah tries to laugh, but that looks like it hurts more than talking.

“I’ll take him back,” Adam offers. I’m shaking my head, but he turns Levi away from me when I stand to take him. “Dibs,” he says.

“You can’t call dibs on a baby!”

“Uh, pretty sure I just did. Come on, little buddy, let’s give your mom and crazy Auntie some alone time,” he says to Levi, who’s drifting off for a nap in those delicious arms. I don’t blame him, I did the same thing last night.

Daddy indeed.

What is happening to me?

As soon as Adam leaves the room, Leah blows out a breath. I turn back, ready for more joking, but her eyes are squeezed shut.

“Leah! Are you okay?” I try to soothe her but don’t know where to put my hands.

“Levi could have died.” Her breathing is ragged, and the heart monitor beeps faster.

“He didn’t. He’s okay.”

“I could have died,” she says, a sob breaking through her chest.

“But you didn’t.”

“Levi would have lost me, you would have lost me,” she insists.

“I know. I’m not going to lie, Lee, I was so mad at you when I heard.”

“For getting hit by a drunk driver?” Her eyes fly open. “How is that my fault?”

“I don’t know. You heard Adam, I’m crazy. And you’re my big sister, you’re not allowed to die. I forbid it. I need you too much.”

“I’ll do my very best.” She sucks in a painful breath. “Levi is okay?”

“He’s totally fine. I had to have some words with the nurses who tried to send him home with Ian, but other than that, he’s okay.”

“WHAT?!” she yells, wincing, and her heart monitor goes wild.

“Don’t worry, I dealt with it.”

“Ian was here? ”

“Yeah, he’ll be here later I think.”

“Ian met Levi?”

“Yes.”

“That motherfucker.”

“I guess I should’ve waited to tell you that,” I say as a nurse comes in to check on Leah’s vitals.

“I’m going to kill him,” she fumes.

“May want to do your murder plotting without so many witnesses,” I hiss at her.

“We’ve heard worse, don’t worry,” the nurse says plainly.

“At the very least I’m going to cut off his balls so he can’t create any more children to abandon.”

“That’s a much better idea. I’d still wait until we’re alone to plan the details.”

“I didn’t hear anything,” the nurse assures us with a smile as she leaves the room. “I’ll get the doctor and tell him you’re awake.”

“Thank you,” I say as she leaves.

“So that’s Adam? Tell me everything,” Leah orders. I sigh and tell her about the horrors of the last few days, skipping out on the most intense almost-sex this morning.