Serious Cowboy (Cowboys of Duncan Ranch #2)

Chapter 17

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

Watching the light die in Aaron’s amber eyes had nearly killed Joy, and she kept reliving the sight of it over and over throughout the remainder of that evening. As she went through the motions of helping her mom make dinner. As she assisted in the cleanup and made sure Kara quit drawing in time to go to bed at a decent hour.

Up until the instant Wayne Randall had appeared at her door, she had felt a lot of mixed-up feelings toward her husband. Everything from confusion and worry about him going missing to frustration and annoyance with how he’d chosen to live his life. The excitement of being with him in those early days had long since devolved into trying to get through the day-to-day drama of living with a drug addict.

But his reappearance and especially his reaction to her divorcing him had topped all of that. Now Joy had to work to not actively hate the man for how he’d ruined things for her and Kara. She’d just started to get her life back on an even keel when bam , Wayne had to detonate it like some hidden bit of explosive.

The last thing she ever could’ve anticipated that night had been for a Wayne-shaped grenade to blow up her entire existence.

Why now of all times had he chosen to show up? Why when she was just beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel?

Why now when she’d only just figured out that she was in love with Aaron Hunter?

In spite of staying with her parents and feeling safer for the decision, she couldn’t rest. All she could do was picture Aaron’s agonized expression. It was like a movie clip playing over and over without relief. How she’d disappointed and maybe even devastated him.

The man who least deserved it.

The day after it had happened she’d followed her attorney office’s advice and gone to the police and filed an incident report so she would have a paper trail. This also enabled her to file a restraining order against Wayne. It might not do much good since he would likely go back to California, but again, this was about creating a paper trail. Now she’d have proof that she didn’t want anything to do with him in person.

Not after what he’d done.

What was strange was how differently she perceived him now. Before his fit throwing, she’d never felt afraid of him. Not even during his drug addict days. She’d thought of him as tortured, as struggling, as battling his inner demons. But she’d never once thought that he’d extend that battle to include her or Kara. Especially not Kara. He’d loved their daughter too much to do that.

Or that was what she’d believed. Now, she knew better.

Now, she was unwilling to take any chances.

Things felt totally different between her and her parents at this point, and she’d never felt so glad that they’d managed to patch up their relationship when they had. Being able to depend on them during such a trying time helped ease at least a tiny amount of her concerns.

After filing the police report and updating her lawyers, she’d thought about returning to the apartment, but facing that hole in the door—even with Aaron having patched it—felt too daunting. That was why a week after that horrible night and six days after she’d ended things with Aaron, she and Kara remained at her childhood home. Joy just couldn’t cope with staying in that place alone with her daughter anymore.

She did feel forever grateful that Kara had school. Had this occurred over the summer break, her daughter wouldn’t have had anything to distract her from this terrible and disruptive event. Joy was also thankful for Christine and the ladies down at her salon. They’d been so understanding through all this and lenient when it came to Joy missing some of her shifts.

And that was despite how vague Joy had been in describing everything.

Then, there was how nice it was to concentrate on her customers and her work when she could be at work. If Joy hadn’t had that to preoccupy her, she was pretty certain she would’ve spent way too many of her minutes pondering her new less than stellar situation.

“Joy…” Someone touched her elbow, and Joy glanced up, absorbing only then that it was her mother. “You were a million miles away, I think.”

“Sorry. Did you ask me something?”

Her mom pursed her lips as if hesitant to mention anything, but then went ahead. “Your father and I were wondering when you were going to talk about all this?”

She hadn’t. Not once. Not fully.

Her parents knew generally what had transpired but not any of the details. Joy hadn’t had it in her to discuss all those terrifying events when they first happened, but she hadn’t since then, either. So, with Kara in bed, she did. Every nasty word spoken by Wayne. Everything that had made Kara cry. Every piece of advice her lawyers had given her. And even how Aaron had looked so miserable as he’d strode away.

By the end of it, Joy had started to weep. “And you sh-should’ve seen him, th-those eyes of his were so s-sad.” Her dad hugged her as her mom took her hand. She’d never felt so glad to have their support. “G-guess you can say I t-told you so now.”

They’d been right about Wayne. Maybe not at the very start. But there was no arguing with the way things had turned out. Not anymore.

“We shouldn’t have taken sides so fiercely,” her mom admitted, sounding awfully sad herself. “It caused a rift we never wanted. It’s true that we both had a feeling about Wayne. But we’re so sorry that it came to fruition.”

“We’d do anything to fix things for you,” her dad added. “To make it to where you and Kara never had to suffer any of that.”

And Joy believed them. She truly did.

“Aaron will come back to you,” her mom whispered, but Joy wasn’t so sure.

“I don’t know, Mom. Not this time. I think I’ve wounded him too deeply.”

“Love forgives, Joy.”

She stared at her mom. “You think Aaron loves me?”

“I know he does. He did when you were kids, and I have no doubt that he does now.”

This was news to her.

“But…” They’d never said the words this time around. Never outwardly expressed any feelings other than through those kisses they’d shared. For her, because she’d been cautious. And for him, maybe it’d been because the last time he’d said the L-word to her, she’d dumped him to go right off mere weeks later and fall for Wayne.

“Am I a terrible judge of character?” she asked her parents, looking at first her mother, then her father.

“I wouldn’t put it that way,” her dad hedged.

“More that you were young and inexperienced,” her mom took over. “And a teeny bit rebellious.”

Joy snorted and brushed the tears from her face. That was one way of putting it. Rebellious and hard-headed. And seeking excitement over dependability. Now, dependability didn’t seem so bad.

In fact, it seemed anything but bad.

Because Aaron Hunter was the most dependable person she knew, and she craved to be with him. Especially now that she couldn’t be.

The next day during her lunchbreak, she stopped off at her apartment to retrieve some of her and Kara’s belongings. Staying at her parents for so long meant they were each running out of clothing and a few other necessities. Kara’s favorite coloring books and story books were there, as well.

Joy had collected everything she planned to bring back in one of her mother’s laundry baskets when she pushed her door open and right into someone standing there on the landing.

“Ow. Watch it, baby. I might need that arm later.”

Wayne. It was Wayne.

She peered at him for only long enough to notice that he seemed bedraggled and twitchy. High, then. He had to be high or strung out on whatever he was on.

Perfect.

“You need to leave,” she ordered him in a firm voice. He wasn’t manipulating her again. Not anymore. “I filed a restraining order against you, so you have to go. If you don’t…” She yanked her phone out of her purse. “I’m calling the cops.”

Wayne simply regarded his feet, his hands fidgeting at his sides. “Call then if you have to. I deserve it. I deserve to be punished for so many things…” And that was when he burst into tears. “I’m sorry, Joy. I’m so, so sorry. I’m sorry for leaving you for so long, for leaving Kara. And Kara, she must hate me, despise me…”

Then, whatever he might have wanted to say became lost in a fit of what could only be regret. It took several minutes of outright shuddering sobs before he became coherent enough to speak again.

“Please forgive me, Joy. Please. I’ll do anything. Anything at all. And Kara. I need her to forgive me, too. I don’t deserve it, I know. But I need it. I need for you both to come home. To come back with me. I can fix everything if you do. I promise I can.”

Joy seriously considered going ahead with her call, but internally, she couldn’t help but give him one last chance. Not for a relationship—that ship had definitely sailed—but to listen to his side of things. To hear him out.

“Tell me where you’ve been all this time.”

“I… I was involved with some bad people. Far away. Far away from here. Far away from Hollywood. I can’t say more than that. But I managed to get away. I paid off my debt to them.”

“Why are you high right now?” she asked him pointblank, fully expecting him to deny it. But he didn’t.

“I just needed a pick-me-up. That’s all. It’s… hard to get through the day sometimes. You know, to get through the day without it.”

“You’re going to have to, Wayne, or I won’t be helping you. I won’t interact with you in any way unless you quit. You understand me? I can’t afford to assist you unless you promise me you’ll go into rehab. That you’ll stop this permanently. And even then, our marriage is over. I might be able to be your friend, but us —you and me—we’re done romantically.” She gestured back and forth between them.

That made him double over and sob all over again, but he didn’t become violent. He didn’t even get loud when he spoke up again.

“I… I’ll do it. You’re right. I’ll do it. Just don’t chuck me out.”

“And I’m not returning with you to California. Kara isn’t, either. She doesn’t need to go through another upheaval, and she deserves a father who can be healthy and clean for her. We have a life here. We’ve built a life here, and I’m not letting you destroy it.” He shook his head no. “Do you hear me, Wayne? We’re not leaving. But if you’ll do what you promised, I’ll help you find a rehab program.”

He nodded vigorously. “Okay. I will. I’m sorry. So, so sorry.”

So, Joy used the time difference in her own favor and contacted his current employers at the soap opera’s main business office. After explaining the situation, leaving out certain details like her restraining order or his behavior at her place the week prior, she waited to hear their verdict. Honestly, she didn’t have that much hope for his new role. Not after he’d come over to meet with her as high as a kite again.

Amazingly, one of the producers agreed to work with him if he completed the program with flying colors. A producer who proved to be her friend Debbie’s direct supervisor. She even knew of a facility to place him.

“My older brother went through rehab. It saved his life. Maybe it’ll save Wayne’s,” she said.

From there it took six weeks for Wayne to complete the program. In the meantime, Joy continued to stay in Montana and work at Salon 406. Kara continued to go to school. And everything became steady again. Normal. Or as normal as people in such weird and upended scenarios could be.

Except for how much she missed Aaron. That wasn’t normal at all.

If she’d thought missing her husband had been terrible—and it had, to be fair—doing without Aaron was a whole new sort of awful. Because Joy had had to learn to be self-sufficient without Wayne, she’d learned to go through things the hard way. And every time he was there he’d tended to mess up situations rather than make them better.

Aaron had been the exact opposite. He had improved her life in countless ways, and his absence felt more like the phantom pains from a missing limb. The kind that twinged incessantly. The kind that she was pretty sure would always twinge. And the kind that might prove to stay just as gone.

She wasn’t sure after all these weeks that Aaron wanted to come back. That he wanted anything to do with her anymore. Not after she’d had to reject him this second, so much more important, time.

Joy sometimes wondered if realizing her feelings for him late might not have been a blessing in disguise. Because if she’d had to break things off with him after declaring what she felt? That would’ve been far more excruciating. Probably for them both.

Still, she received a present in the mail three days after Wayne was released from rehab. A large manila-type envelope arrived, and upon opening it, her heart bounced in her chest. This was better than anything she could’ve hoped for. Better than anything she could’ve predicted might come out of all these wild events.

In a state of glee, she hopped in her remarkably old Toyota. Kara was staying over at a friend's house that night—she’d finally made a close friend—and the two of them had been moved back into their garage apartment for over a month now. This would be the most ideal time to go.

All hyped up, Joy twisted her key in the ignition only to have nothing happen. There was no cranking or grinding noise, no lights coming on her dash, nothing.

“Oh, no. Not now. Please, not now…”

But trying to turn the engine over three more times resulted in the same outcome each time. Joy sat there behind her steering wheel with her head in her hands. She’d just started to contemplate other alternatives when someone else pulled in right beside her. Someone with a recognizable Chevy Silverado. Someone who’d already exited to pause right beside her door.

Except it wasn’t just any someone, it was the man she’d been yearning to see. The man she’d been attempting to go visit. She hand cranked her window down. At least that part still worked.

“Aaron…”