Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter EightEvaline

Chapter Eight

Evaline

W e stood just outside of the castle doors, on the side of Correnti that stood in the Night. I knew on the other side of the veil, Dean was inside the castle. At the thought of him, a pang of guilt hit my gut.

I knew Dean would be upset that we got away, but mostly I knew that he’d be horrified that he couldn’t stop us, and that he hadn’t seen it coming. Considering how much he’d internalized Maddox’s change, I knew he’d take on the guilt of this, too. He didn’t need to, and Gods I hoped I was wrong and that he’d read my letter and understand. If I’d told him, Sage and I wouldn’t be standing with my mother, at the gates of a castle in the Night, looking for what very well could be the key to getting Maddox back.

“Okay,” I said, looking up toward the dark sky to the crest of the castle’s roof and the mountain that wound even higher behind it. “We’re here. Now we just have to find her.”

“Where do you think she could be?” Sage asked, tilting her head to look around us.

It was eerie here, the whole of the Night was, at least it was for those of us living.

“She has to be with James, right?” I asked, looking to my mother.

She turned to me. “It would make the most sense. People generally stay with their loved ones in the Night. Everyone I’ve met, anyway.”

We turned to go down the castle’s steps, then head for James’ house, taking the same path that Sage and I had just this morning.

I lowered my chin as I walked, and it trembled for a moment as I thought of my mother standing by my side for all those years. Watching my father and I, and after he passed, looking over me. Waiting for the day my magic woke up, for the day she was successful in reaching me.

The thought forged a crease in my brow, and I turned my head toward her as we walked.

“Why did it take so long for my magic to wake up?”

Her eyes widened. I waved a hand toward Sage.

“Hers manifested when she was five, and Lauden at seventeen, which is still close to me at twenty-two when mine awoke, but if I had the gifts of the Gods and stronger magic, shouldn’t it have come sooner?” I waved my hand through the air. “I mean, I can feel my magic all around me, all the time. It wasn’t like that before the night I fought off Lonix and Bassel with it.”

My mother pursed her lips and tilted her head. “Your gifts make your magic far different than anyone else’s.” Her eyes shifted away from mine, to the ground. “So you are different from anyone else.”

I thought of my father’s dying words then, the way his eyes had widened at the mention of Sorceresses, how he’d known what I was and still didn’t tell me.

“That doesn’t make any sense,” I pushed. “Lauden said that Sorcerers test their children for magic, to see if they have it. Otherwise, they might be exposed if it manifests accidentally. But father knew, and he didn’t tell me. I know you told him not to tell me of the Kova and Vasi, and now I can understand that’s because you didn’t want Vasier to find me, but why keep my magic a secret, when I could’ve used it to protect myself?” Tears sprung in my eyes as she looked up at me, tears in her own, and a realization slammed through my head. “I could’ve used it to save Father.”

My mother stopped her stride and tilted her head back, and cast her eyes to the sky, and Sage and I stopped alongside her.

“He wanted to tell you, it was me who didn’t.” She shook her head, eyes pinned on the sky despite the tears that silently fell from them, and down her cheeks. “It was a recurring fight throughout my pregnancy, up until the day you were born.”

I swallowed the dread that skulked up my throat. “The day you died.”

Her head lowered, eyes settled on mine.

“The Gods were very clear on the consequences of my creations, the day I created the Kova and Vasi,” she whispered, and I felt Sage shift behind us. “When I had a child, that child would carry the curse.” My mother shook her head. “I tried for many years not to get pregnant. It’s why I’m as old as I am, even though I shouldn’t have the ability just by being a Sorceress. The Gods gave me extra time. They required me to have a child, and to raise that child to defeat Vasier. But still, I fought it. Even when I met your father, and married him. Even when he wanted children, I told him the truth, and we continued to make every effort not to get pregnant.” Her eyes shined with tears and the passing of long-gone memories. “But eventually, we did conceive, and the Gods got what they wanted.”

My chin trembled at her words, at this battle she fought alone for so many centuries, before she continued.

“But before all of that, before I met your father, I’d prepared for pregnancy.” She reached out a hand and took one of mine. “I didn’t want to pass this curse along, and knew that even if I did get pregnant someday, I’d have to do something to protect you.” She tilted her head. “I traveled this land and others. I researched as much as I could, found as many spellbooks and journals as I could, until I found the spell I needed... To lock away someone’s magic.”

My brows furrowed. “You locked my magic away?”

She nodded. “It was a fight your father and I hadn’t resolved before I went into labor. I didn’t want to make the decision for the both of us, I wanted to come to an agreement. But he wasn’t seeing my side, he wasn’t understanding the scope of the consequences. He thought we could just hide you away, but I knew if you had your magic that it was only a matter of time before the Gods, or one of the Firsts, found you.” She reached for my other hand, pulled them toward her chest. “I didn’t want to make the decision without him, but the spell could only be done once the Sorcerer was born, and there came a time when the choice to wait for him to agree, was taken away from me.”

I ground my jaw, locked down my emotions as best I could, and prepared myself for the story of how my mother died giving birth to me. My father had never told me, it wasn’t something he wanted to go into detail on.

“I heard your cries, and I’d never been so happy,” my mother smiled, eyes shining with tears that didn’t seem to only be from sadness. “The physician cut the cord, and they pulled you away, and your father followed to make sure you were all right.” Her lips pursed for a moment as she shook her head. “I hadn’t even seen you yet when I felt the fatigue set in. When my head went light.” She took a deep, shaking, breath. “I knew I was losing a lot of blood, I heard the physicians say so amongst themselves, and I knew then, that the opportunity to lock your magic away, was closing. Your father brought you over to me, and you were so beautiful, but I didn’t get a chance to really look at you, not in the way a mother wants to after carrying her child all that time. The physicians were working too fast, their voices too urgent, and my magic slipped away faster and faster. I knew I was losing too much blood. I couldn’t leave you in this world to suffer the consequences without me. So, I planted my lips on your head, and whispered the spell into your skin.”

Her lips trembled for a moment. “The last thing I remember is telling your father I was sorry.”

A thousand thoughts ran through my mind all at once. Worry over the pain my father must’ve felt, watching it all happen. Sorrow that my mother had to make that decision, carry that pain, alone, all this time. Guilt that my birth had led to her death.

My features scrunched in as the tears came, and I shook my head, as my mother wrapped her arms around me.

“Don’t cry, my baby,” she whispered into my ear. “It is done, it’s been done, for so many years.”

I shook my head against her hair. “You didn’t see his pain, all that time. And you can’t understand what it feels like to be responsible for your mother’s death.”

She shoved herself away quickly, eyes fierce. “My death is not your fault,” she rushed out, holding me at arm’s length. “It was my choice, and I made it happily. I would’ve sacrificed anything for you. You are my heart, Evaline.”

I was shaking my head at her words when one of them stuck out.

Sacrifice.

“What do you mean, sacrifice?” I asked, voice low.

Her face paled, and she tried to play off her blunder with a wave of her hand. “It’s just an expression.”

I tilted my head, eyes steady on hers.

“No, it’s not. You said sacrifice. But if you were already dying, then that wouldn’t be a sacrifice. Just a last act.”

She didn’t speak, only cast her eyes down.

And that’s when the memory of my own brush with death, with blood loss and magic, slid through my mind.

When I’d been tied up to that tree near Blush Bay, when I had a knife to my throat, and had lost so much blood, and used a surge of it and my magic to save myself.

How I would’ve died, if Maddox hadn’t been there, forcing his healing blood down my throat.

My face fell, my tears swelled, and my voice shook through the air between us.

“My birth didn’t kill you,” I breathed. “Locking away my magic did.”

My mother took a slow breath and looked up to meet my eyes, and nodded.

“A spell like that would’ve required a lot of magic, wouldn’t it?” I gasped out, sobs sticking in my throat. “Would you have even died had you not locked it away?”

She pulled my hands into hers again, her eyes stern as they met mine.

“I don’t know, but it wasn’t a risk I was willing to take. I couldn’t wait until my magic was too weak for me to do it, and then risk dying and leaving you out there, alone, with your magic.”

My lips pursed and my chin quivered. “Did father know?”

Tears filled her eyes again. “I don’t know.”

I took a steadying breath, tried to shove the emotion away, and looked at her. And I didn’t say what I wanted to.

I didn’t say that she shouldn’t have done it, that it was moot, anyway. That I’d still gotten my magic and the curse and all of that on top of the fact that I never had my mother.

But I didn’t. The furrow of her brows, the pain in her eyes, she knew.

“I would’ve left it locked forever if I could. I tried to help you the night your father was killed but wasn’t strong enough. All I could do was try to speak to you, to get you up and fighting.” She shook her head. “But the next day, when those men had you,” her voice was raw and she bared her teeth. “Nothing could’ve stopped me from unlocking your magic, from helping you pull the air from his lungs.”

The tears fell silently down my face, but there weren’t any words anymore. No more arguments, or anger. Only gratitude that swelled in my chest, and the love that came right behind it, to know that I’d never been alone, not really, not with her right there, fighting beside me.

I reached forward and pulled her into my arms and blinked the tears away, swallowed the lump in my throat.

“Thank you,” was all I could say. And really, it was all that needed said.

“Always,” she promised back. “In a heartbeat, without question.”

A sniffle sounded behind me, and my mother and I pulled apart to look back at Sage, who’d been standing there the entire time, it appeared, fielding the silent tears that flowed down her cheeks.

“Oh, honey,” my mother said, reaching for her so that she had one arm looped around me and one around Sage. “What’s wrong?”

Sage wrapped a hand around my mother’s arm, the one that held her, and used her other hand to swipe tears away.

“I just, I can’t—” She cut herself off and shook her head, eyes lifting to mine. “Not one, but two parents who died for you.” She took in a sharp breath. “I can’t imagine being loved like that.”

I put my own hand on her shoulder and shook my head.

“We all love you like that, Sage. I hope you know that,” I said softly.

Her face fell at that, and I watched as a mask, that same one I’d seen her don so long ago, slipped into place.