Sewn & Scarred (The Fated Creations Trilogy #3)

Chapter Forty-SixSage

Chapter Forty-Six

Sage

M y feet tapped against the stone floor of the hallway outside of Vasier’s war room door. I was sitting on the floor, my back against the wall and my knees pulled up to my chest.

I would’ve preferred to be pacing, but I knew that might cause him to question why I was so antsy. So instead, I forced myself to sit here outside of his study doors, waiting for his permission to enter.

The tap of my feet was the only fidgeting I could allow.

After Evaline had tried to kill him, things moved fast. She was compelled and sent to her room. Vasier was enraged at what she’d done, but more so that she was even given the opportunity to make the attempt at all.

Vasier had dragged Lauden and Broderick to his war room and requested I come too. But when we got here, Vasier pushed the two of them through the door, told me to wait, because he needed to talk to them first.

So I sat out here, alone.

I couldn’t remember the last time I had, it had been years. When I’d first come here. The days were long in this castle, but the nights were longer. And being here, these red walls, only coaxed nightmares to plague me each night.

When I first came to Mortithev, I was dreadfully bored throughout the day. There was nothing for me to do, and no children for me to play with. Of course, Vasi can pair and make children, but Vasier didn’t allow that. He wanted as much control of who roamed his castle as he could, and that included his soldiers, his Vasi, having any children.

I roamed the halls, tried to invent games I could play alone to occupy my time, but that usually grew boring by mid-day. I had regular lessons for my magic and my portals. Sometimes they were with Vasier, but a lot of them were with another Sorcerer, long dead now, and I would’ve rather spent that time with Vasier. And when I finally did get that time with him, when I was older and could control my magic, he only tested me. He only forced me to slice my palm again and again, exactly as Alannah had done, to try to use blood magic.

But when I was young and I grew bored, I would count down the hours until family dinner. It had just been the two of us. And I would do so, sitting outside of these very doors, in the same spot I occupied now.

I would sit and listen to his footsteps across the granite on the other side of the wall. I would hear the thump of books dropped onto his desk, and the hushed conversations he’d have with his advisors. I would sit, and listen, and wait for him to notice me. For him to hear me outside clearing my throat or coughing to get his attention, and for him to pull me inside. To include me in his day.

Then at night, the frights would come. Horrific nightmares of monsters, of being alone in the woods where my mother had abandoned me, of the Vasi here hurting me. I’d wake, and cry out, and no one would come.

And then I’d come to sit here, outside of his door. He’d be inside, the glow of his candles inside lighting up the shadowed doorway in front of me. I’d cry, and hiccup, and hoped he’d hear me and come to comfort me.

It was years until I grew up and understood that even if I had sat out here silently, he would’ve heard me. Identified me by my heartbeat alone.

That he had heard me, each day, and every night, and chose not to open the door.

My heart ached for that little girl. The one who had felt so alone, so afraid, for so much of her life. And despite that fear, she was hopeful. Each and every day, that it would be the one Vasier accepted her. It would be the day, he treated her as his own. But eventually that optimism—the innocence and blind devotion that only a child can have—died. Those parts of her curled up and withered away. They had to leave, to forge me—the woman who protected herself with harsh words and cold stares, until I let someone in.

Until Rominia.

But even after seeing Vasier for who he truly was, even after feeling the love and care of those Kova—Evaline—in Rominia, still, I felt love for Vasier.

I didn’t think I did. I thought it had evaporated the moment he’d stated me as nothing, just before he turned Maddox. Then again when he told me of his plans to kill Evaline, and again when I learned of his manipulation in my love life.

But the love wasn’t gone, because tonight as I watched Evaline nearly kill him, pinned beneath her wall of air, I felt terror for Vasier. I felt worry and sadness at the idea of his loss.

And it was then that I realized that the little girl—and her love for her father—hadn’t died long ago. That she still huddled inside of me, curled up on herself against a wall, just as I was now.

Nothing had changed.

“You’re both risking everything I’ve planned for!” Vasier’s yell filtered through the walls and I cringed. “I’ve planned for this longer than both of you have been alive, and I will not allow your incompetency to be what stands in the way of my success.”

I didn’t know what Evaline had been planning, and I felt a pang of rejection that she hadn’t included me in her plans.

But judging from my reaction to seeing Vasier nearly killed, it was likely best she hadn’t told me. Because I think I might’ve hesitated, and that hesitation would’ve been all it took for her to close the door on our friendship forever. All the progress I’d made with her in our time here, no matter how little, would’ve been gone in the pause of my response.

“You’re both lucky I don’t kill you where you stand,” he shouted, and I cringed again, worried for Broderick, and even for Lauden. But I hated the pity I had for him . He’d betrayed me, I don’t even know how many times over.

But Broderick, he wasn’t like the others. When I’d come here he had been just as gruff, but quickly he’d started to come around. He was nicer than the others. He’d ask me how I was, and nodded to acknowledge me in the halls. He’d bring me back candies he’d stolen while visiting the Kromean Kingdoms and hide all of that from Vasier. As if he was ashamed of being kind, as if he was afraid of what Vasier would do to him. And all of that, all those sweet small gestures, always made me wonder what kind of life he’d lived before he became a Vasi. If he’d had children.

Broderick was one advisor that had stayed by Vasier’s side since I came here. Broderick was always the first voice Vasier listened to, and was in every conversation of strategy he had. He was older than most of the Vasi. Not the oldest, but up there in years, and you could only tell by some of the fine wrinkles that dusted the corners of his eyes, the furrow of his brows.

They were close and some of the smartest, and strongest. That was why I never understood why they’d never gone in person to any of the battles before. None of them had happened in my lifetime, but I’d heard other Vasi talking about it once.

My thoughts were cut off by the door opening and I jumped up. Lauden walked out, steaming mad. He didn’t let Vasier see it, but instead cast his rage in a hateful look toward me. I ground my jaw, but then Broderick walked out behind him, his face set in a frown, but when he saw me, he hid away any sign of rage and nodded.

When they disappeared down the hall, Vasier turned to me. “Come, daughter.”

I hurried into the room to see papers scattered around the floor, and around the table. Books he must have thrown in anger as he’d lectured them. I strode to stand beside the table, and turned, ready for his inquisition. Ready for his questions about Evaline’s plans. Fear that he’d somehow discovered that I was helping her.

But as soon as I turned around, he was standing before me, reaching forward, and grabbing my hands, holding them in the space between us.

“My little Sorceress,” he started, his voice soft. “Are you okay? After your fall?” he asked, his hand coming up to pat the back of my head gently.

I hissed at the pain, and he made no hesitation in biting his hand for me to heal myself. After I’d taken a single gulp and felt the pain subside, I pulled away and looked up at him with furrowed brows.

Why was he being so kind?

He sighed and tugged on the ends of my hair lightly. “It seems everyone around me is incompetent.” His eyes lifted to mine. “Can I trust that you will be better prepared for tomorrow than the others?”

I tried to slow the race of my heart as I nodded. “Of course, Father.”

He smiled. “Good. I knew I could trust you.” He clasped his hands in front of him. “And that’s good because I have a very special task just for you.”

I nodded along as Vasier instructed me to prepare Evaline for the ceremony tomorrow evening. It would be a Ball, a spectacle he required for the Vasi around him, those who had begun to wonder why we had not gone to war yet even though we seemingly had everything we needed. He wanted to show those Vasi how powerful he was, even though he didn’t say it in so many words. He wanted them to see that he had the ability to bring someone back from the dead.

“Her gown will be delivered in the morning. You stay with her, help her do her makeup and hair or whatever it is women do to prepare for a Ball. But most importantly,” he said, tilting his head toward me. “Keep her calm. Keep her unaware of what will happen at the ceremony. This ritual is predicated on the fact that she remains alive, and that she remains willing. Without it, the spell will fail.”

I nodded along, and he raised his brows. “Can you do that?”

“Of course,” I said, but recalled every time he’d called me useless. Every time he’d scoffed in disgust at my inability to locate Alannah all these years. His dismissal of my competency when I didn’t deliver Alannah to him, but only Evaline. Each and every insult, no matter how obvious or disguised, throughout my nineteen years in his custody.

All the lies, all the hidden plans, for Gods’ sake even the Vasi he’d sent to border Rominia and failed to mention to me.

Each and every instance proved how he truly saw me. That was how he felt about his daughter. This, now, was only a stab at manipulation.

And in the past, it had worked.

But not anymore. The cycle ended here.

“Good girl,” he breathed. “I knew I could count on you. This is very important Sage, I don’t think I have to tell you that. I’ve been waiting a very long time for this moment, and I need absolutely everything to be perfect. Make sure she looks flawless. When it’s done, when Alannah is by my side, I want to show the Vasi, this kingdom, their new Lady of the First.” His eyes were the most animated I’d ever seen them as he talked about it, and I wondered how many times he’d pictured this, seeing her again.

He dismissed me then, but as I started to walk from the room, he called for me.

I turned toward him, hand reaching for the knob of the door. “And tomorrow. Your portals, I will need them.”

There it was. The real request. The real reason he needed me. The only advisor he had, that would be worth a damn tomorrow.

I gave one quick nod. “Absolutely.”

He smiled and nodded. “Goodnight, little Sorceress.”

I smiled and opened the door, left the room, and walked down the hall.

And knew it was the last time I’d ever do so. The last time I’d be summoned to his office. The last time he’d ever ask anything of me, and try to manipulate me. The last time he’d ever speak a kind word in my direction.

And with each step, my posture straightened. Because this was right. What I was doing, this decision I was making, it was the only one. To right my wrongs. To save Evaline. To go back to the Kova—to Dean—to work with them and help them, or to die trying.

I rounded the hallway, leaving the corridor to his office, and knew that the little girl who waited on its floor for hours could rest. Inside, curled up in my chest, she could let it all go, and only watch us move forward, together.

I just hoped I’d do her proud.