Shadows in the Dark (Dark Lotus #1)

5. Brynn

I bolted straight up in bed, and Lug Nut immediately hopped up and snuggled close, as though trying to take on my upset feelings. My dreams had been full of Blair calling for me, demanding to know why I wasn’t helping her.

The dog laid his head in my lap, looking up at me with sad and soulful eyes. I leaned over to kiss his head and held on, content to just be still while my heart rate settled. It was true what was said about animals. They really were angels in fur coats. It was incredibly clear to me why my sister had adopted this guy, because he was pretty damn special.

Wandering into the kitchen, I got myself a glass of water and topped off the dog bowl. We both drank in companionable silence. Knowing I would need some time before I could go back to bed, I walked to the kitchen table, my eyes immediately falling on Blair’s laptop once more. I really wanted to know more about this Olympus and what my sister had been involved with on that mystery server.

Carefully, almost as though I feared getting caught, I opened the laptop, squinting when the screen came to life and was so bright. Adjusting the light level, I clicked on the thumbnail for the server and felt my heart rate kick up a notch when the login screen popped up. Once more, I entered the only credentials I had, inhaling sharply as I was granted access.

Even at this time of night, the server was active. I suppose that was because it was international and there were multiple time zones represented. Several people were screen sharing and I could see a few of the movies that were being watched in the various Theater rooms. My brows raised when I realized that the subject matter for a lot of the things being watched was X rated. While I questioned the choices of streaming matter, I supposed it was nice that someone could come online and find others who were available for interaction no matter the time.

As I worked my way down the left navigation channel list, I saw that some of the channels were labelled differently, often with just someone’s name, and they were restricted. How did one get access to a restricted channel? I could see that in each of those channels there were two people, though a couple of them appeared to have three. I could assume that the conversations in restricted channels were private, but why? My curiosity began to nag at me.

For the ones that were not restricted, I popped in and out of them, just trying to get an idea of the vibe, and what people did in each one.

Each Theater channel had a corresponding event chat channel, where members discussed whatever was being watched. I also saw education channels, support channels, and self-help channels, where others offered encouragement and provided feedback to those asking for it. All in all, it seemed to be a supportive community.

I still didn’t quite understand why my sister had kept this from me. What was the deal with an online community? Why had she felt the need to keep it a secret?

I found it harder and harder to keep my eyes open, so shutting down the laptop, I went back to bed where I managed to sleep the rest of the night uninterrupted.

The next morning, I gathered my towels from the bathroom and stripped my sheets for laundry day. I hated doing the laundry, but I certainly enjoyed the feel of clean sheets on my skin.

After starting the washer, I grabbed a set of linens from the cupboard. Noticing the mattress was crooked on the bed, I began to wiggle the mattress into place when I felt something hard and heavy against my shin. Looking down, I realized it was a book. Upon closer inspection, I saw it was a diary. Flipping open to the first page, I saw Blair’s handwriting and knew it was her diary.

I had no idea what I would find on those pages, but I knew I needed to read them. There was a whole different side to Blair that I’d been naively unaware of. I wanted to know more about that side so I could understand her even better. I didn’t know why she had ended up dead in a part of town where she had no business being. I hoped that maybe, by getting my hands on as much information as I could, that I might be able to figure out what had happened to her. So far, the police had not been much help at all. Apparently, it would be up to me to keep things moving. I refused to just wait for SFPD to get off their asses.

Once I’d remade the bed with fresh sheets, I took the diary into the kitchen, placing it next to the laptop. It was a workday and I had several presentations to finish up for all three bosses. Once I finished my tasks for the day, I would be more than ready to start reading the entries that my sister had written. My bosses were being so wonderful about allowing me to come back part time, even though they were reluctant about me working at all.

While I appreciated the concern, and the willingness to give me more time, I needed to get back to work. As I had explained to all three of them, it was important for me to feel productive and to take back a small measure of control. Sitting at home dealing with death was not ideal for my overall state of being.

I was lucky enough to be able to work remotely and would only have to go in for “meetings that mattered”. I was thankful I wouldn’t have to awkwardly talk to people who had no idea what to say to me. When I finally felt up to going back to the office full-time, enough time would have passed for people to not feel the need for platitudes.

Hitting send on the last email so Randall could review the deck I sent over, it was finally time to tackle the diary. Each time I had walked back and forth through the house, that book drew my gaze. I purposely waited until now to do anything with it because I knew once I started, I would not be able to focus on anything else.

A bump against my hip made me sigh. “It is time for your walk, isn’t it, Bubba? Let’s go get you a treat from Kevin.”

The trip this afternoon seemed even longer than usual. The weather was gorgeous, more people were out and everyone wanted to say hello to Lug Nut. It was well past dark when we finally made it back home, and even later when I could finally sit down to read.

The first entry was dated eighteen months ago, and seemed innocent enough.

Dear Diary - Well, it’s been years since I’ve started one of these. I’m not sure how to start, but I hope it will come back to me as I keep writing….

This diary made references to others, so it would be next on my list to find those as well. Blair had been consistent with her entries, which is more than I could ever say about myself. I had never been able to keep a diary, or journal like so many other women I knew. I never made vision boards and I rarely set intentions for my life. Maybe that was why I had a tendency to feel so aimless.

Page after page, I devoured what my sister had penned. I smiled when I saw her references to me, our conversations, our adventures…and I teared up when I read about how much she loved me. Though we’d been several years apart, some swore that we were twins because we’d been that much in tune with one another. I had such a huge void in my life now, and I had no idea how I would ever get past that empty feeling.

Starting about a year ago, Blair’s entries took a turn and my eyebrows raised to my hairline.

Dear Diary - It’s finally time for me to start exploring my other side. For so long, I’ve wondered why I have always felt like something was missing. Turns out, something WAS missing. Sure, on the outside, it looks like I have it all together, but underneath, I’ve been searching. I knew I was different than my other female acquaintances. Hell, I KNOW I’m different than Bry, too, which is why I can’t say a word to anyone about the things I’ve been researching. I’ll finally be able to learn more and hopefully, meet others who can help me embrace my submissive side. I can’t wait to get started.

My sister was a submissive? As in BDSM submissive? I knew what that meant, of course, but I never imagined…

I continued in the diary, reading about her experiences, some of which made me blush. She mentioned a club called Lotus where she would meet her Doms.

Doms. Plural. The location of the club wasn’t known. Anyone who went there was driven in special cars. There was no way to determine where it was, and that frustrated Blair.

“Holy shit, B,” I murmured while I kept reading.

The name Olympus jumped off the page toward the end of the diary. It seemed that she had finally been sent an invitation to join and she mentioned how excited she’d been when she’d gotten the email. That email might be a way for me to get my own account instead of taking risks by using hers.

Back on the laptop, I scrolled through her inbox until I was on the date that matched her diary entry. Spam, spam, spam… god why didn’t she delete that shit?... a response to a car insurance inquiry, an order confirmation from Amazon, bingo. Titled simply “Your invitation”, the email gave instructions on how to access the server, but mentioned the URL was specific to Blair and would expire. Shit. I wouldn’t be able to create an account that way.

“Wait a minute…” A little further up in the inbox and I saw a password reset request. Clicking on that one, I noticed the URL there was generic. Hot damn.

Holding my breath, I clicked through and was routed to a login page. Spying the “Create account” hyperlink, I followed it, entered my personal information such as name, telephone number, and address before I chose a Username and hit the ‘send’ button.

What is the worst that could happen?

Leveraging up from the dining table, I decided to keep myself busy until I found out the status on my Olympus account. The terms said it could take up to 48 hours for a response. I could still use Blair’s credentials until then, or if I was declined. Either way, I would be fine, unless her account was deleted from the server altogether, then I would be out of luck.

I heard the swish of receiving an email, and when I went to review it, I was shocked. I’d been approved for Olympus. Making sure there hadn’t been some sort of error, I immediately went to the site and typed in my own credentials this time. My mouth fell open when I saw the same list of channels as I had under Blair’s username. I was in. I had no idea what the hell to do, but I was in. And for some unknown reason, I felt like my life was going to change.