Shameless (Made For Them #3)

13. Always By Your Side

Stefan

I ’m on the roof in record time.

I’d be lying if I said that I’m not a little anxious about what Lula wants to talk about.

Ok, a lot anxious.

“Hey, let me help you.” Lula takes the plate I’m carrying as I lower myself on the blanket she arranged on the flat surface of the roof right above her room.

“I know this was just meant to be a service area,” I say, looking around the square space surrounded by a wrought iron railing. “But this is my favorite spot in the entire house.”

Her lips curl up in a soft smile that, if possible, makes her look even more beautiful. “Mine too. No matter how bad things ever got, this has always been my safe space. But in the years Tiffany kept me away from Star Cove, I realized something.”

“What’s that?” I ask.

“It’s not the secret spot on the roof, Stef. It’s you. You’re my safe space.”

Fuck.

How am I supposed to stand a chance in hell when she says stuff like this?

“If you came here to dump me,” I chuckle nervously. “You aren’t off to a good start, Jumps.”

“To dump you?” Lula gasps. “What are you talking about?”

Hope invades my preoccupied mind, but I want to be one hundred percent sure. “You didn’t ask me to talk to end things between us?”

Lula laces her fingers with mine. “I love you, Stefan. I always have and I always will. Knowing that you feel the same way about me and exploring the attraction between us, has kept me sane in the worst moments this summer.”

God, just when I thought I couldn’t love her more, she slays me with the sweetest words anyone has ever said to me.

“I love you too,” I whisper, tucking her dark hair behind her ear.

“Why did you think I wanted to break up with you?”

“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug, feeling like a complete moron. “You said we need to talk. I thought…”

Lula shakes her head. “You thought wrong. The only way to get rid of me, is if you dump me, Stef.”

Emboldened by her words, I tell her why I thought she wanted to end things between us. “Thank fuck. I’m sorry, but when Jules asked you to hang out with him, I thought… I don’t know what the fuck I thought.”

Lula lowers her gaze, suddenly hesitant. “No, I get it. Stef, I’m in love with Jules. He loves me too. I know you two don’t always get along but he’s a part of me, the same way you are. I don’t think I could stop loving either of you.”

A part of me is jealous.

I’ve always been jealous of Jules; of the way Lula has always looked at him.

A lot of things have changed this summer though. I have changed .

“I get it. I could never ask you not to love Jules, Jumps. Or Crew for that matter. I know he told you how he feels about you.”

Lula looks uncertain. “Really? I know you and Crew were willing to coexist, at least for a while. But things between you and Jules have always been more complicated.”

“Look,” I sigh. “Jules, Crew and I talked. We can’t guarantee what the future holds, but we all love you. If being with you means coexisting, we’ll have to find a way to do just that.”

Lula brings my knuckles to her face, dragging my rougher skin against the smooth slope of her cheekbone until it gets to her lips.

There’s something in the way she kisses each of my knuckles that makes my heart soar with the confidence that we’ll never be apart again. “Would you really do that for me?”

“Jumps,” I chuckle, cupping her face with both my hands and dragging her closer. “I just told you. I’d do anything for you. And I’m pretty sure Jules and Crew feel the same way. So if you’re in, so are we. We’ll figure out how to make things work as we go along.”

Lula’s green eyes well up with unshed tears. “What about our families? Our friends? The rest of the world might not understand.”

She isn’t wrong and I’ve been giving it some thought too. “What about them? They’ll have to deal with it if they want to be in our lives. I’m not ashamed of us.”

There’s a beat of silence, as Lula takes in my words. “I love you so much, Stefan. Especially this new, shameless version of you. I’m all in. Even if it won’t be easy to get others to accept our relationship. Dad told me to stay away from you and Jules when I got here. He’ll hit the roof when he hears about this. Especially when it comes to you. I’ll have to talk to him.”

“Tom and I already talked,” I reassure her. “He doesn’t know about Crew and Jules, but he was surprisingly ok with our feelings for each other.”

I tell her about my conversation with her father just before we left Twinberry Cove.

“He was jealous?” she sounds shocked. “He’s my dad, and despite the distance between us in the past three years, I’ll always love him. My feelings for you are completely different.”

“That’s what I told him,” I agree. “Hopefully he’ll understand about Jules and Crew.”

Lula nods. “He’ll have to. Because you’re right. I’m not ashamed about my feelings for you guys either.”

I hug Lula tighter.

There are still hurdles in our way, but as long as Crew, Jules and I can work together to keep her safe, nothing else matters.

“I’m glad we had this talk, Jumps.” I smile, finally releasing her. “Now let’s eat. The sandwiches are just at the perfect temperature not to give us first degree burns, but we don’t want them to get cold.”

Lula takes one of the grilled cheese triangles on the plate and bites into it. “Oh my God,” she moans as she chews. “You make the best grilled cheese ever, Stef. But the conversation we just had isn’t what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“No?” I ask, setting my sandwich back on the plate. “What’s up then?”

Lula stops eating too, her forehead creased with worry. “It’s about what you just told the sheriff and the deal you made with him. Mason told me how they were using Star Thunders to smuggle drugs and launder money.”

“Yeah,” I confirm. “I heard him this morning. That’s why we talked to the sheriff. Eddie’s letter said he wants to keep working with Morelli, but he didn’t explain why. If I hadn’t heard what Mason told you, we would have gotten ourselves in so much fucking trouble.”

Lula grabs my wrist, suddenly tense. “I know. But I don’t like this deal with the sheriff. Mason made it clear before that no one walks away from his family or quits their job . His father and his uncle would even hurt him, if he tried to walk away. They aren’t going to let Star Thunders go so easily.”

Lula is right. I was fearing that too. “What else can we do? I’m not going to be a drug smuggler for the mafia, Jumps. And what about you? Was Mason lying when he told you that you’re off the hook?”

Her answer surprises me. “I don’t think he was. In Mason’s eyes I proved my loyalty to him. He told me before that it’s the only way his father would ever let someone walk away. If they were loyal to the bitter end. I took the fall for him last year and even when he asked me to do something dangerous, I went through with it.”

I’m relieved and annoyed at the same time. “Does the fact that Mason is in love with you have something to do with him letting you quit?”

This is one of the many things I love about Lula; she’s honest to a fault.

“Maybe. I’m not sure and it doesn’t matter. I loved Mason as a friend, like I would love an older brother.”

That doesn’t match what I heard before Lula came back at the beginning of the summer. “So was Tiffany lying about that too? Tom told us you were dating a drug dealer.”

“Mason and I were never dating,” she offers. “For a second there, I might have considered it. We made out once when we were really high and he protected me from Evan. But that was never anything more than that. Besides, when Mason came to find me here… I saw a side to him that made me realize what a huge mistake I would have made if things had turned romantic between us.”

Something in Lula’s eyes tells me that Mason tried to hurt her. “I swear to God, Jumps, if he hurt one hair on your head, I?—”

She covers my clenched fist with her hand. “He almost did,” she whispers. “But he stopped before things went too far.”

I’m conflicted about whether I should ask Lula what she means with “he almost hurt her.”

Because if the answer is what I think it might be, I don’t know that I’d be able to keep from going to find Morelli. If I do, the sheriff will have another gruesome murder to deal with. I’m already at snapping point when it comes to Evan. The only reason why I haven’t ended his despicable life, is that I’m biding my time. When I deal with Lula’s tormentor, I need to do it in a way that won’t cause me to get locked up and lose Lula for good. I haven’t found the solution to my problem yet, but I’m weighing my options.

“Stef,” Lula pleads, guessing the dark place my mind is in right now. “Please, promise me you won’t do something stupid. Mason is no longer a threat. At least to me.”

I exhale, taking Lula’s hand into mine. “I promise, Jumps.”

“Look,” she continues. “I’ve been thinking about it while you guys were talking to the sheriff. I think I have a way that you guys can walk away from the Morelli business, but that would mean not giving the police any evidence that could cause trouble to Mason or his uncle.”

“What’s your solution?” I ask, skeptical that there’s a way out of our deal with the sheriff anyway.

“Make all the blame for the illicit activities within Star Thunders fall on Trevor’s shoulders. Just give the sheriff evidence of his involvement but nothing to tie him to the Morelli family. As long as the sheriff can’t prove a connection, you’ll be safe.”

I don’t understand. “Right. But how would that make a difference? You just said that you don’t walk away from the mafia.”

Lula’s lips curl into a smile that promises nothing but trouble. “Mason said he owes me a favor. I’m going to ask him to help you find evidence to place the blame only on Trevor and Eddie and to let you walk away.”

Lula

“No.” Stefan bites out. “Absolutely not.”

I don’t understand. “Why not? You heard Mason this morning. He said he owes me one. He already said he doesn’t expect me to sell for him again. It’s a win-win. You get to keep Star Thunders with a clean slate and no repercussions.”

I’ve known Stefan my entire life and when he crosses his arms over his ripped chest, I know he won’t budge. “No, Jumps. I forbid it.”

His blond brow is set into a scowl, a muscle in his jaw keeps popping and his green eyes are darkened with determination.

Stefan is handsome and stubborn and yet… I burst into a fit of laughter.

His fierce expression crumbles like a sandcastle hit by a wave. “What? Why the fuck are you laughing?” he says, miffed but fighting the urge to start laughing with me.

Stefan has never been able to keep a straight face if I was laughing or during a staring contest and I see the years haven’t changed that.

“You forbid it?” I manage to utter, wiping tears from the corners of my eyes. “Who are you, my dad? I mean, even Dad wouldn’t say he forbids something.”

Stefan rolls his eyes, as his gaze meets mine. “Say it any way you want, the facts don’t change. There’s no way you’re gonna call a favor from Mason Morelli.”

I don’t get it. “Why not? It’s the solution to your problems and it’s about time I do something other than cause trouble in your lives.”

Stefan’s scowl deepens. “What the fuck are you talking about, Jumps? You’re no trouble to me.”

He’s sweet to say that, but I know he’s just trying to make me feel better. “Come on Stef, admit it. You got sent to military school because of me. Jasmine has been keeping Jenna from Jules because of me. And Crew has been getting me out of trouble from the moment he and I met. I love you guys even more for not making me feel bad about it, but I know that without me, your lives would be easier.”

Stefan disagrees. “I’ve never heard so much bullshit all at once, Lula.”

The fact that he just called me Lula and not Jumps isn’t lost on me.

“All the shit you just mentioned is due to outside factors. You never did anything to deserve the worst mother in the world and her new husband and son. If Tiffany hadn’t taken you to New York and if she hadn’t married Howard, things would have been different. Jules was a dumbass to hook up with Jasmine to begin with and I’m fucking glad Crew has been in your corner when I was too stupid to look beyond my wounded pride to be there for you. I was so busy feeling sorry for myself to see that you never betrayed me.”

The hilarity of a few moments ago seeps out of me as I see the guilt in Stefan’s eyes.

“Stef,” I take his big, slightly rough hand into mine. “I thought we had clarified that I don’t blame you for being mad at me. You came for me when I asked for your help. You risked everything to help me. I can’t even imagine how you must have felt when you thought I couldn’t even be bothered to come to the door to tell you that I had just used you to make Evan jealous or to get attention or whatever bullshit Tiffany made up. I don’t blame you at all. Especially when you tried to contact me and you thought I blocked you.”

He nods. “See? You just said it yourself. Tiffany made it all up. So please, Jumps, stop blaming yourself.”

“Ok.” I say softly, slightly lost in Stefan’s green gaze. “But I don’t get why you won’t let me help you.”

Stefan sighs. “Because I don’t trust Morelli not to go back on his promise to leave you alone. If you call in that favor, who’s to say that he won’t try to suck you back into owing him something. Please, Jumps, promise me to stay away from Mason.”

I can see where he’s coming from but I think he’s wrong about Mason. I know he lashed out when he thought I betrayed him, but he admitted he was wrong.

“Lula,” Stefan insists. “Promise me you won’t ask him that favor on our behalf.”

“I promise,” I relent, but I keep my free hand behind my back, crossing my fingers.

I have no intention of breaking my promise, but I need some leeway, just in case.

If life has taught me anything so far, it’s that help can come from the oddest places. I just hope for some smooth sailing in the future and I’m counting the days until Evan and Tiffany will go back to the East Coast to join Howard’s campaign. Only then I’ll be able to relax, with an entire country between me and my abuser.

“Thank you, Jumps.” Stefan murmurs. “Fuck, the grilled cheese got cold. Let me go back to the kitchen to make you a new one.”

He tries to push back onto his feet, but I don’t let go of his hand. “Don’t go, Stef.” I plead. “We can eat later, but it’s been ages since you and I have been up here alone.”

He wraps his arm around me, pulling me into his side. “You’re right. Let’s watch the sunset and then I’ll bring up more food.”

I don’t say anything, I just tuck myself closer to him, basking in the warmth that radiates from Stefan’s solid body.

We watch in silence as the sun dips into the sea, coloring the water with the prettiest pastel colors.

God knows my life isn’t perfect, but I realize that I’m happy.

I’m with Stefan and we love each other. Crew and Jules love me too.

There are still things that could tear us apart down the road but I think happiness is a transitory condition.

Happiness is made of small moments of perfect bliss and living a happy life means grabbing those rare moments with both hands when they come our way.

As long as we can forget our worries long enough to savor the good and the extraordinary moments that can surprise us even when dark clouds are looming on the horizon.

“Stef,” I murmur, turning to face him. “I love you.”

His smile warms me from the inside out. “I love you too, Jumps.”

Our kiss starts shallow, all soft lips and playful coaxing.

But the moment our tongues touch, we catch fire. It’s a wild, desperate chase as if we couldn’t get close enough.

Hands tear clothes off and the contact of Stefan’s smooth skin burns me in the best way possible.

“Jumps,” he moans, as his lips glide down the column of my neck and his tall, muscular body covers mine.

Sex with Jules and Crew is hot and exciting but with Stefan it’s different.

The heat and excitement are there too, but there’s something else. A feeling of belonging, of coming home.

It’s as if Stefan and I are two halves of the same soul and when we come together, I feel complete.

“You’re so fucking perfect,” he whispers, cupping one of my tits with his big, calloused hand.

He pinches my taut, sensitive nipple between his index and middle fingers as he feels the weight of my breast in his hand, kneading my skin in a hot massage.

“You’re perfect too, Stef.”

He’s hard for me, his length resting against my stomach as my fingers close around the base of his erection.

“That feels good,” he says, closing his eyes and moving his hips in perfect tempo with the languid stroke of my hand.

“I want you, Stef,” I beg and he smiles.

“I’m yours, Jumps. I’ve always been and nothing will ever change that.”

“Then fuck me.” I demand, nipping at his bottom lip in the way I know drives him crazy.

He lines up with me but rather than entering me the way I expect, he drags his hard shaft over my slit, teasing my clit with the smooth skin of his cockhead.

“You’re so wet for me. So soft.”

The friction between his hard-on and my clit makes me see stars, but I want—I need more and I squirm, grabbing his hips to guide him home.

“Someone’s impatient,” Stefan chuckles. “I’m trying to make this good for you, Jumps. It’s called foreplay.”

A frustrated groan escapes my lips when he resists my attempts to get him inside me. “I know, but I’m ready for more, Stef. I’m already so close and I want to come with you inside me.”

The cocktease chuckles again. “And you will. But you’re a girl, you don’t really need much time between orgasms. You can come with me rubbing your perfect, little clit and then you can come again around my cock.”

His plan sounds perfect, but my body has a different agenda and my need for him is too intense to let him tease me. “We can do the foreplay stuff later. We can go back into my room and spend all night in my bed, driving each other crazy. But I need you now, Stef.”

He lowers his head to take my lips in a bruising kiss. “Fine. Who am I to deny you what’s yours?” he says, breaking the kiss too soon.

Stefan doesn’t give me a chance to respond, he slams inside me with one hard, fast thrust.

“Oh, fuck.” I gasp.

I’m so wet that my arousal was dripping down my thighs but Stefan is definitely on the larger side of big, so his sudden invasion burns as my inner walls contract around his hard length.

It’s a good burn, the best kind.

“Is that what you wanted, beautiful?” he asks, retreating just a little bit to sink straight back into me with a snap of his hips.

“Yeah,” I pant, contracting my muscles around him again and again. “Please don’t stop, Stefan. Don’t you dare stop.”

He repeats the movement, thrusting harder and deeper each time and I melt around him.

My heart is thundering in my ears and a delicious ache builds deep inside me. My muscles tense up as I move my hips in synch with Stefan’s thrusts.

Every time he sinks back into me, the pleasure is so intense that it seems impossible for it to feel better. Only, it does.

My nerve endings are on fire, ready to burst any second now.

“You’re so tight,” Stefan moans, his fingers digging into my hips. “I’m going to come, Lula. Are you going to come with me?”

He doesn’t have to say it twice, his next thrust is our undoing.

We hold each other tight as pleasure courses through us, bright and hot, taking our breaths away with the intensity of our connection.

We’re like one being, there’s no way to tell where he ends and I begin and it’s both a physical and emotional union.

“I love you, Jumps.” Stefan places tender, slow kisses all over my face and neck, once we both come down from our highs. “I wish I could stay inside you forever.”

I grab his hand, resting it on my erratic beating heart. “You are inside me. In here. Forever. I love you, Stef.”

Neither of us moves for a long moment, savoring our connection, our little bubble of happiness.

I wish I could stay in Stefan’s arms forever, where the darkness of the outside world can’t touch me.