Shattered Hearts (Irish Kings #1)

28. Finn

Chapter 28

Finn

Soft, gentle fingers tickle my forehead as they sweep into my hair.

Consciousness returns to me in waves, though my eyelids remain too heavy to lift. Clinical smells invade my nose, and soon, the noise of a hospital room offends my ears, bringing my attention to my pounding head.

“Finn?”

Riley.

My eyelids peel back.

“Can you hear me?”

I blink until Riley, perched at my bedside with tears in her beautiful blue eyes, comes into focus.

“Your loving wife impression is really coming along.” My throat is dry.

Riley glares. “Stop it.”

My happiness at seeing her alive and annoyed with me is like helium in my lungs.

“I want to…play a game.” I flex my stiff fingers. “It’s called Kiss the Patient.”

“Do you know how terrified I was?”

“Yes.” I try to smile, but my lips mold into a grimace instead. “I…do.”

Riley fills me in on what I’ve missed while unconscious, but I don’t hear a word she says because I’m lost inside my own head.

I almost lost her. And she’ll never be safe until the De Lucas kill me and satisfy themselves.

All these years, I’ve been waiting for the De Lucas to come for me. So many times in the past, I yearned for them to make me answer for the suffering I’ve caused and finally end my misery. But things have changed.

My eagerness for death has flatlined, as though Riley hit pause on a horror movie that used to play in an endless loop in the background of my mind.

While I can’t bear to put her in any more danger, I also can’t let her go either.

Conflict rages in my spirit as my weary eyes trace her angelic, tear-slicked face. What if she’d died in that car bombing? If she’d gone downstairs just moments sooner, she might have. And I never would have forgiven myself.

There are so many things I want to say to Riley, but I don’t get the chance. Cian and Rory come through the door. They see my open eyes and step up to my bedside. Cian’s face is covered in little cuts and bandages.

I lift half my mouth. “You look like shit.”

“Look who’s talking.” I recognize the palpable relief in Cian’s tone.

“Where’s Darren?”

“On an assignment.” Rory shoves a hand into the pocket of his jeans. “How you feeling?”

Glad to be alive. Even grateful for the dull, well-numbed pain in my abdomen.

“Thankful.” My gaze drifts from my friends over to Riley.

“A car bomb in broad daylight…” Cian shakes his head, anger lining his features. “This is getting out of hand.”

I can’t take my eyes off Riley. I can tell by her appearance that she’s been here in the hospital, probably since I arrived. She doesn’t look like she’s slept or showered or had a real meal in days.

Has she been by my side like this the whole time?

My feelings for this woman are so complex, I can’t even name them. I’m afraid to. All I know for certain is that I can’t endanger her life anymore. And as long as the De Lucas are still after me, that’s exactly what I’m doing.

“Cian.” I make up my mind. “Take Riley home.”

My words bring everyone’s eyes to my face.

“I’m staying with you until you get discharged.” Riley’s assertive tone delights me.

“Head home and get some rest.” Buckets of sleep deprivation hang beneath her exhausted eyes. I lift my heavy arm, ignoring the strain it puts on my side, until my fingers connect with her cheek. “Will you do that for me?”

Like true friends, Rory and Cian make themselves scarce, giving Riley and me a final moment alone. How can I ever repay them?

I trace my thumb over the line of Riley’s cheekbone, and my eyes meld with hers. “Thank you. For everything. You didn’t have to stay here with me. You…I mean?—”

“Shh.” Moisture beads in her eyes as she leans down and kisses my temple. “You don’t have to thank me. There’s no where else I’d rather be. Please don’t make me leave you.”

“You need to get some rest, and so do I.” Discomfort at my lie churns in my gut, but I shove it aside. “Now, will you kiss the patient?”

She leans over me faster than I expect and lays her lips on mine. Her kiss calls all our memories to the forefront of my mind.

The way we held each other, naked and panting, bodies speaking an animal language. The force of her body when she threw herself around me that night in her apartment. Our first kiss at the wedding…the limo…our wild, amazing sex marathon…

I have no words to describe what she means to me. And attempting to explain it, to sort it out, wouldn’t be wise.

Our lips whisper against each other. Her forehead meets mine as I take her full bottom lip between my teeth. She emits a startled little sound that makes me want to rip her clothes off right. Our tongues meet like old, eager friends. I trace the contour of her waist, dragging her closer as she gently grips my face.

I don’t release her until we’re both panting. She’s almost completely on top of me, and I want to keep going, but Cian and Rory will return soon. And if my dick gets any harder, I’ll be lying under a tent in here.

I’ll have to be satisfied with this. A goodbye kiss sweeter than honey.

I press another soft kiss on her neck. “I wouldn’t have wanted to be fake married to anyone other than you, angel.”

“Don’t say sweet things like that to me. I’m too emotional.” She pecks my cheek and forehead as one of her tears drips onto my nose. “I almost lost you.”

“But you didn’t.” I inhale big and deep, intoxicating myself with her lavender scent. God, I miss her already. I wish I could go back in time and choose her from the start.

She takes one of my hands in both of hers, tears streaming down her cheeks. “I know.”

If I let her stay much longer, I’ll lose my ability to tell her to go, so I gather all the willpower I have left and push the words from my mouth.

“Get going, will you?” I squeeze her ass. “Before you make me pop these stitches.”

It takes several more minutes, but I convince her to go home and thank Cian with my eyes for transporting her. He’s saved Riley’s life not once, but twice. That’s more than I can say for myself. No one makes a more qualified escort, and I’ll always be grateful for everything he’s done for me.

Whether I ever get the chance to say so or not.

As soon as they’re gone, I lock my heart in an iron safe.

This was our final goodbye.