Shelf-Made Man

Chapter 16

Chapter

Sixteen

T he morning dawned slowly, the shy sun tentatively rising behind a veil of clouds above the East Bay. Tobias had been awake for some time already, and he’d crept into the kitchen to scrounge leftover bread and cold pork roast, which he carried to the bedroom for breakfast. He’d already eaten his share, but Alfie still slept, his inhumanly long eyelashes fanned across his cheeks, his lips curled into a small smile.

There was really no hurry to get on with things. Aunt Virginia said they were safe here. But they couldn’t keep themselves caged forever, and the longer they stayed, the harder it would be to go.

Besides, if Tobias was honest with himself, there was a certain part of him—likely the very trollish part—that itched for a fight. He wanted to confront Snjokarl, tell him what a fuckwad he was, and do his best to kick his ass. He could almost feel his hands connecting with flesh and hear the broken cries of his prey. And this morning, these feelings didn’t even scare him. He would embrace these aspects of his psyche and try to use them for good.

He thought about the previous day, which had been a roller coaster for sure. But it had ended with the best holiday celebration he’d experienced in years, followed by the best lovemaking he’d experienced ever .

“It’s a lovely view.”

Tobias turned to see Alfie sprawled in bed, ogling him.

“Can I ask you something?” Tobias said.

“Anything.”

“You said that trolls are, um, disagreeable loners. But they reproduce, right? I mean, here I am. Does that mean they have families?”

Alfie sat up, yawned and stretched, and gave a nod. “I’m no expert on the matter. But my understanding is that most trolls do find mates and that they are loyal to their mates and protective of their children. I don’t know if they experience love the way that humans and elves do, but on reflection, I have no reason to assume that they don’t.”

“All right.”

After a pause, Alfie got out of bed, padded naked across the floor, and placed his hands on Tobias’s chest. “You know you’re capable of love. You loved your mother, didn’t you? ”

“Yes,” Tobias whispered.

“It seems to me that adults, regardless of species, should be able to decide for themselves how they want to be. Perhaps we are limited in some aspects—I can’t cross between worlds on my own, for example—but that still leaves us much leeway. I can decide not to be a spoiled, judgmental ass. You can decide to be a family man, if it pleases you.”

“It does.”

Alfie stroked Tobias’s cheek. “Then we shall consider ourselves family, even if our time is short.”

Tobias sniffled a little but didn’t cry.

Eventually Alfie ate his breakfast and got dressed, and they emerged together from their room. Aunt Virginia sat in the parlor, dressed in jeans and an elegant cream-colored sweater, her white hair held back with a golden headband, a book in her hands. She’d opened the curtains wide and set potted plants on the windowsills. “I hope you spent a good night,” she said. She didn’t bother to suppress the sparkle in her eyes.

Alfie bowed to her and Tobias dipped his head in greeting. He only blushed a little. “Thank you for such a good evening, Aunt Virginia.”

“I should thank you. I haven’t felt this alive in many years.”

Tobias carried their breakfast dishes through to the kitchen, where he washed and dried them—along with the dishes and pans from the previous night’s feast—and put everything away. It was a satisfying exercise. When he returned to the parlor, Alfie and Aunt Virginia paused their conversation about books.

“I should have helped,” Alfie said. “I apologize. Princes rarely engage in household chores, but if I survive, I’ll do my best to remedy that.”

“I don’t mind. I like cleaning.”

As they stood there, Tobias knew it was time to go. But he couldn’t quite bring himself to pull the trigger. The corners of Alfie’s mouth twitched and he turned to Aunt Virginia.

“My lady, I wonder if you could grant me one more favor?”

“Of course, darling.”

“I don’t know how these things are done here, but among my people….” He shifted his feet and cleared his throat. “When two people wish to cement their union, they pledge to each other before a beloved relative or friend. Assuming that Tobias is willing, would you be our witness?”

“I’m willing!” Tobias shouted, in case anybody had doubts. It didn’t matter that he’d just met Alfie—or that they might be doomed. Thinking about marrying him made his heart sing.

Beaming, Aunt Virginia set down her book and stood. “Nothing would delight me more. But perhaps I should change to more formal clothing….” She smoothed a hand over her jeans.

“If you like, but not on my account, please. You are beautiful just as you are. Tobias?”

“You’re perfect, Aunt Virginia. ”

“Well. In that case….” She looked regal as she gestured for them to proceed.

Tobias felt big and awkward, with no clue what he was supposed to do, but he was at least grateful that nobody had tried to stuff him into a suit. And then Alfie calmed him with a brilliant smile and a gentle hand on Tobias’s arm. “It’s considered good luck to cement a union during solstice seasons because they symbolize new beginnings. The couple will often renew their promises during the next equinox to signify balance and equality in their partnership. I am hopeful that somehow, three months from now, we’ll be able to do exactly that.”

“I hope so too,” said Tobias.

Alfie took Tobias’s big hands in his elegant ones. “With the Countess of Contovello as witness, I, Alfred Clausen, son of Claus Clausen, pledge to you my devotion, my loyalty, my respect, and my care. I cannot promise I will be faultless, but I do promise that I will do my best to be the partner you deserve. I promise to love you.”

Tobias had to clear his throat a couple of times before he could speak, but that was okay. It gave him a little time to think. “With Aunt Virginia as witness, I, Tobias Hilmar Lykke, son of Isabella Lykke, pledge to you my honesty, my protection, my respect, and my loyalty. I’ll be clumsy and weird a lot of the time, but I promise to do my best to be the partner that you deserve. I promise to love you.”

There. Life-changing, but not so hard .

Alfie looked at Aunt Virginia expectantly and she nodded. “I, Virginia Segreti, Countess of Contovello, witness these pledges. I place upon this union all the blessings I can bestow. Alfie, welcome to our strange little family.”

All three of them were teary-eyed as they did a group hug. Aunt Virginia exchanged cheek kisses with both of them, and then they all hugged again. Alfie and Tobias followed up with an enthusiastic kiss—on the lips, not the cheek—that seriously came close to making Tobias swoon.

He could have sworn that for a brief moment he felt a sparkly sensation all over his skin, as if champagne bubbles were popping. Could be magic. Or maybe it was simply delight that he’d just married the elf of his dreams.

But they couldn’t bask in this bliss forever. “A honeymoon would be nice,” Tobias said with a sigh. “But I think we’ll have to settle for a trip to Snjokarl’s palace.”

Alfie’s expression turned grim. “I wish we could at least bring weapons, but most don’t travel well across worlds. Which I suppose is just as well, or else Snjokarl would have imported guns from your world long ago, and that would have been horrific. But still.”

“We can improvise. Like we did with my statue. Remember the wrestling Greeks, Aunt Virginia? We used them to defend ourselves from attacking trolls.”

“That seems apt,” she said. “I am positive you boys will find a way to triumph.”

Tobias wasn’t quite as optimistic as that, but he’d give it his all. He looked at Alfie and asked the most important question. “Do you trust me?”

Alfie answered at once. “Completely.”

“Good. Aunt Virginia, do you have some heavy rope somewhere?”