Shephard (Mountain Men of Danger Falls #1)

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

S hephard

“ Ty znayesh’, chto ya ub’yu tebya, mal’chik .”

You do know I’m going to kill you.

I would never forget the Russian’s laugh, the way he’d dug his ragged nails into my scalp until blood had run down both sides of my face.

He’d meant the words, almost making good on his promise. I’d seen his face more than once the night before in crazy dreams. Maybe that’s the reason I was still sucking back coffee.

I rubbed my eyes, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me. At least the light of day had presented another series of images.

A beautiful, naked body.

Distractions.

I’d become damn good at ignoring them over the years. It had been a learned skill, the training often brutal. I’d spent almost eight months of my life after leaving the Marines in what had been considering deep coaching. The truth was every day had been brutal, my body and mind pushed to limits the military hadn’t even thought of.

I’d equated it to being a prisoner of war only with more physical anguish.

One piece of the harsh environment had been learning to ignore everything around me.

Every sound.

Every scent.

Every vision, no matter how beautiful or horrific.

The things the group had done to ensure I wouldn’t be distracted were horrific and savage. I wouldn’t wish them on anyone. I also wouldn’t want a single soul in the world to see what I’d been forced to watch.

I don’t know why or how I’d endured the long, depraved months. I certainly hadn’t left the program the same man I’d gone in as.

However, I’d learned over the few years the reason for their torturous brutality. It had been just something else that had no doubt kept me alive.

The training had remained even after months of being nothing more than a law-abiding civilian.

Until her.

It still bothered me I couldn’t keep my hands or mind off Denise. I should toss her aside. Both of us had enjoyed the sex, but we had separate lives. Still, the moment I’d walked out her door, I’d hungered for more.

Now I sat in my kitchen, nursing my third cup of coffee and trying to break the cycle of want. Want. Wasn’t that a useless word in the English language? Yeah, I wanted for a lot of things, most nothing I could achieve in this lifetime. I’d stopped trying over the years. It had been something else indoctrinated out of me.

I was a soldier. Nothing more.

I wasn’t allowed to think or want.

The notion remained instilled.

I’d been staring at the financials after taking a jog very early that morning. The rough terrain had been exactly what I’d needed. The ache in my muscles felt good for a change. But the crisp air and physical exercise hadn’t rid thoughts of her from my mind.

Hell, I’d even enjoyed the homecooked meal. My idea of homecooked was to shove a frozen pizza into the oven, half the time burning the damn thing. Food had become a necessity, my habit of eating Marine-style rations still something I did from time to time.

I’d even brought a box with me. How pathetic was that?

A few seconds later, I shoved both the mug of coffee and the paperwork away. I couldn’t concentrate and that pissed me off. The hard knock on my front door kicked in my usual response. I grabbed my weapon from the table, immediately moving away from the kitchen window. I wasn’t in the mood for visitors.

Unless…

Damn it.

As I shifted into the living room, I remained close to the wall to keep from being visible from the front window. Maybe Russ’ call had bothered me more than I’d thought. Another sharp rap reminded me someone was at the door.

Or maybe the thought about Boris escaping prison also lingered in the darkest places in my mind. I’d thought about how he’d liked to paralyze his victims, torturing them for hours, often days. The odd coincidence was weighing heavily on my mind.

With three long silent strides I was able to throw open the door.

Jagger turned around quickly, his eyes opening wide before turning his opinionated gaze down my bare chest to my sweatpants and bare feet.

“Catch you at a bad time?” he asked, the usual grit and hatred in his voice.

“What are you doing here?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I came to talk to you. Unless you have that woman here.”

“What woman?” I snapped.

He laughed. “Oh, come on. The one you fought with at the resort. The one all the ladies in town are convinced is in a hot fling with the grumpy new guy.”

Exhaling, my gut desire was to toss him out, but I relented. “Very funny. She’s a park ranger. We had a run-in. Don’t make shit out of it. What do you want?”

“Can I come in?”

I debated his request but backed away, allowing him to walk inside.

“Nice place,” he said.

“You didn’t come here to compare the houses dropped in our laps. If you did, get out.”

“A man of pointed but few words.”

“I’m gonna ask you one last time before I toss your ass out. What the hell do you want?”

He shook his head before turning to face me. “Can we cut the animosity down a little bit?”

“Never bothered us before.”

“And we were never forced to work together before. We need to clear the air, brother. We’ve had our differences, but it’s been years since we’ve spent time together. Fucking years. We’re in our forties now. It’s time to bury the hatchet.”

A part of me knew he was right. “Fine. Then we’ll talk.” I headed toward the kitchen, almost bumping into him as I passed. I knew he’d trail behind me. He couldn’t resist picking a fight.

“Can you stop being an asshole for two seconds?”

I placed my weapon on the counter in front of the sink, staring out at the thick foliage. “Yeah, fine.” I couldn’t remember when the heavy tension between us had started. Long enough ago acting this way was natural.

“Look. You were right. I spent half the night going over the books. I’m no expert but it’s clear after comparing month to month someone has been taking money. It’s subtle, the amount after almost a year adding up to about one hundred thousand, but it’s definite.”

I glanced over my shoulder so I could see his face. “I doubt Pops had been stealing from his own accounts.”

“No. Never entered my mind.” Jagger was as uncomfortable as I was. “It has to do with the winery and food orders. That I’m convinced of. Small amounts all over the place with very little pattern. That’s the issue. With everyone having a hand in the books, it’s going to be almost impossible to determine who is doing it.”

“Any trail leading you to the thief?”

“Not yet. The trouble is that Dad trusted too many people. At least six had access to the bank accounts. And the books. The managers were responsible for preparing their department’s books.”

“And no checks and balances.”

“Not enough to matter in this case. Pops ran a loose operation in my opinion. I’m surprised he wasn’t robbed blind.”

“Have you talked with the accountant?”

“Not yet,” my brother admitted. “I wanted to talk to you first. He’s next on my agenda. But I also want to talk to all the managers.”

At least we were talking civilly at this point. Progress. “Carefully. However, we need to limit access to everyone but the three of us. Sure, it’ll ruffle feathers, but as the new owners, we can tell them we’re doing an internal audit.”

“Not bad.” His grin was almost rewarding.

Almost.

“That might flush the thief out into the open.”

“Maybe. I’m beginning to wonder what else Pops lost control of after being diagnosed.”

“Not that he would admit it. I think an audit of all operations is in order.”

“You up for it?” At least I was finally able to offer a smile since seeing the look on his face.

He half chuckled. “Right now, the distraction might be what I need.”

“Yeah, I hear you.”

Another period of awkward silence settled in. “Do you ever miss the military?” he asked. “Or afterwards?”

He’d been an Army ranger in his career, equally decorated. While I had my doubts he’d gone through some of the same horrors I had, we hadn’t talked about our experiences so I wouldn’t know for certain. Mom had told me both my brothers had suffered, but her words hadn’t mattered. I’d also been indoctrinated not to care about family. I’d thought that temporary but now, I wasn’t so certain.

Maybe I was dead inside.

“Not really.” And I didn’t. The mercenary jobs? That I wasn’t so certain about. It had been so ingrained that I was still sleeping in a sleeping bag.

“You’re lucky. The shit I did afterwards wasn’t fulfilling.”

My brother had been a showman since he was a little kid, dressing up for Halloween when I wouldn’t be caught dead in some shit costume. He liked being the center of attention, singing and dancing as if he was so talented. And he’d become a comedian just to try to get my father’s attention. That had only resulted in punishment.

But Jagger hadn’t stopped. He craved affection and acceptance where I couldn’t care less.

“Not much in life is,” I told him.

“Try being a security guard for a fucking arrogant celebrity.” He laughed, but the sound was bitter. “I hated it, but it was something to do. You know? Not glamorous but work.”

“We all need to do what we can to survive.”

“That’s just it, Shep; all I was doing was surviving. The last six months of hunting down traitors took a toll on me.”

“Which you’re not supposed to talk about.”

“Sometimes I feel if I can’t I’m going to lose my mind. All the loyalty we had and I just…” He shook his head. “I know. That was the past.”

I’d heard he’d done a stint selling his services that way before taking other odd jobs, one after the other just like Hunter and I had done. It hadn’t gone well, the celebrity unhappy with Jagger’s performance. After that, he’d disappeared for three years. The same timeframe I’d been off the grid. At least he had kept up with Mother, occasionally calling and reassuring her he was alright. She’d made certain to tell me that on the single call I’d made in… far too long.

“I had my share of idiots and unfulfilling jobs myself,” I told him.

“Maybe you’ll tell me about them some time.” The way he was looking at me was almost hopeful. He appeared older, more haggard than he had. That didn’t mean I had a damn clue what to say to him.

“Some stories aren’t worth telling.”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “They come back to haunt you.” Sighing, he looked away. “I’ll get things locked down. There’s some big reception next week. From what Hunter mentioned, the kitchen staff is fighting. That’s his job for today. Keeping them from killing each other. Maybe he’ll learn something while he’s doing it.” His laugh sounded as bitter as mine. He walked closer to the kitchen island, obviously still with something else on his mind.

I wasn’t interested in arguing with him any longer, but I also didn’t have the bandwidth to bother trying to act as if I cared to be his friend.

“So this park ranger. She hot?” Jagger laughed. “From what I could tell from the report, she is.”

“She’s not important.”

“Uh-huh. I don’t believe you. You cut the fur off your face. For her?”

I snorted. “For me.”

“Sure. Maybe I’ll do the same thing.”

“You do that. Let me know if you find any other discrepancies.”

“You know, it’s okay to care about somebody.”

He was reminding me of what others enjoyed? I knew he was exactly the same way. “Too broken for that, brother.” I didn’t receive texts, especially given the limited number of people who had my phone number. I knew military equipment and high-tech shit that very few people in the world knew existed cold. But an iPhone and its various resources were foreign and ridiculous to me.

When my phone emitted a strange noise, more like a stupid sound effect from some bad and very old science fiction program, I froze. I was staring at it, half expecting a bomb to go off.

“I’m surprised you’re not shooting it,” Jagger told me, already amused at my lack of understanding. Always the nosy one, he grabbed my phone from the counter. “It’s called a text. People type messages and send them to you. You can answer back or like everything else in your life, you can ignore them.”

I did nothing more than take a deep breath. Fighting him for control of the phone was beneath me.

He shrank back, not something my brother ever did under any circumstances. “Is there some shit you’re going through you’re not telling me about?”

“What the fuck are you talking about?”

“The murders I heard about? The park ranger is involved. I saw that too. Are you two into something dangerous?”

I snatched my phone from his hand, forced to exhale to keep from tossing it when I read the threat.

Unknown: Walk away from her or she dies.

“What is going on, Shep? Seriously. You’re surlier than normal, which is saying something. But this isn’t anything to fuck with.”

I lifted my gaze toward Jagger then back down to the phone. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

“I know you’re a tough guy and I doubt I want to know the shit you’ve done, but that’s a direct threat that has nothing to do with your past.”

My laugh pretty much gave away what I was thinking. Fuck this shit.

“Or does it?” he pushed.

“Let it alone, Jag.”

He laughed and it wasn’t about making light of the situation. “Do you want to get away from that former life? Do you want to live like a normal dude does?”

“What that fuck does that mean?”

“Having family and friends, maybe a relationship. Going on vacation. Purchasing a house. Going to barbecues and basketball games? Isn’t that something you’ve thought about before?”

I’d heard of guys who’d been gone from the action for a limited time who’d killed themselves or went back because they couldn’t handle the harsh reality of real life. I had a feeling Jagger was falling prey to the same condition.

“You don’t want that shit any more than I do.”

“Maybe not, but I know a threat when I see one. You’re alone now. I know this house is already wired to the hilt. So is mine. And I’m certain you brought plenty of weapons with you, but I need to remind you there are thousands of innocent civilians living near you.”

It was nothing I hadn’t thought about.

“I’ve always been alone and I’m not a fool. Whoever the asshole is wants to get under my skin.”

“Yeah, but you still had a team backing you. Right? I did. They were utilized many times. Maybe that reporter spouted off some shit to you?” he asked, raising his eyebrows.

That was possible. I looked away and debated saying anything to him, but what else was family for anyway? “Did Pops ever say anything to you about his former life prior to bringing us to Montana?”

“Not really. Why?”

“Just curious.”

Jagger cocked his head. “Did the reporter insinuate something?”

“Just let it go.”

“No. If there’s something we don’t know about then open your damn mouth.”

Now I was getting angry. He was analyzing me when his past was as regimented and full of violence as mine had been? It was bullshit and I wasn’t going to allow it to continue. The text redrew my attention when the screen lit up for a second time.

Whoever had sent it had gone through major hoops to get my phone number. I would need to have another conversation with Russ. Maybe his line hadn’t been as secure as it should have been.

The security equipment hadn’t openly detected any breach in the phone’s systems either, but that might not mean anything.

I was pushing this too far, the asshole gleaning the number quite possibly from a normal encounter. Where didn’t matter.

It wasn’t about changing my number either. I wasn’t daunted or fearful of an asshole who hid behind a text.

Hiding the possible truth was something our entire family had done. It was time to break the cycle. “The reporter insinuated he had another life, a criminal life.”

Jagger opened his eyes wide, whistling at first. “I honestly suspected that.”

“Why?”

“Because Pops was always pushing us so hard to follow the rules. Plus, we never heard about family. Never. It was as if we didn’t have any.”

I nodded. “Bad timing to suddenly be thrown a curve ball.”

“Possibly a dangerous one. Just don’t go off halfcocked on your own.”

“Why are you telling me this, Jagger? I think I can handle my own shit.” My tone was becoming more aggravated. With good reason.

Jagger laughed. “Fine. All I was trying to say is that you do have a goddamn family. Maybe you don’t know this, but Hunter and I are just as qualified in terms of military operations and intelligence as you are.”

“Maybe so, but it’s all about whether I give a shit or not.”

“If our father has a criminal background and is running from some criminal element, they will hunt him down. You know that. That’s what we all did for a goddamn living.”

“Let it go!” I hissed and turned away.

“My God. What happened to you, brother? You were always reflective, not interested in having but so many friends, but at this point, you’re going to end up alone. Look at you. Up until a day ago you had a shaggy beard, Unruly hair. A goddamn mustache that made you look like some circus director. But suddenly, you meet a pretty girl I can tell you’re interested in and you almost allow yourself to feel something. Now, you’re right back in that prison you placed yourself in. Are you trying to alienate everyone you come into contact with?”

I slammed my phone down on the counter, heading around the corner without thinking what I was doing. Anyone else who talked to me this way would be hurting at the end. I almost had my hand wrapped around his throat when he stood up to me. He never used to do that. Of course, he’d been almost twenty when he’d grown five inches in less than a year. Now we almost stood eye to eye.

And Jagger wasn’t going to allow me to forget it.

“Go ahead, brother,” he said through clenched teeth. “You’ve been wanting to do that for as long as I can fucking remember. So take a shot. But it’ll be the last one you get.”

A part of me wanted to. Damn it. I backed away, hissing under my breath. Trying to control my labored breathing was more difficult than I cared to admit. “Just go, Jagger. I appreciate the information you gave me. I really do. We’ll find the asshole responsible.” As far as our father, I’d talk to him.

He said nothing for at least a full minute. The sound he made was one of disgust. “Fine. Have it your way. How sad.”

Sad? He had to be kidding me. He was suddenly nostalgic at this point? Whatever had occurred in his past was entirely different than mine.

He stormed from the kitchen, cursing under his breath. I wanted to ignore him, but I moved to the kitchen door, leaning against the threshold. As soon as he threw open the door, he burst into laughter. “Look, brother. A delivery. A punching bag. Now maybe you can finally take out your aggressions before you kill someone you actually do care about.”

As he walked off the porch toward his truck, all I thought about were two things.

One, that I would hunt down and eliminate the asshole who sent the text.

And second, that the security cameras and equipment needed some work if the delivery driver hadn’t set off the alarm.

Yeah, wasn’t that disturbing as fuck?