She’s My Kind Of Rain (Rawlings Ranch #1)

Chapter 17

17

SAWYER - JUNE 25, 2004

“I cant believe that just happened,” she laughs out as we make our way through the side door of the bar. Her expression shifts, her demeanor changing in an instant. She bites her bottom lip and my eyes focus a little too hard on the movement until she releases it. I return my gaze to hers. “I’ve never just kissed someone like that before. Honestly, I haven’t really kissed many people at all.”

The thought of her kissing anyone makes me irrationally jealous. I just met her and I already feel consumed by her, like she’s only meant for me and no one else. I shake the feeling. It can’t be possible to be this invested in someone after one kiss. Clearly the alcohol hasn’t worn off, or I’m just thinking with the wrong brain tonight.

“What, never got caught doing something you shouldn’t in public before?” I say, trying to sound cool, but coming off stupid as fuck. I’m not sure what it is about her but I can’t quite think straight, and something is driving me to peacock around like a fool, knowing all too well that it’s just not my personality to be suave.

Her lips purse just the slightest, an uneasy look flashing across her face. Fuck . I’m totally giving off the wrong message right now, aren’t I?

“Listen, I’m just gonna say it to you straight because at this point I think I’ve dug my hole far enough.” Nerves swell up in my gut. This is the first time I have been interested in anyone this much and I don’t want to mess it up. “I’ve never done anything like that either. Hell, I barely date at all.”

A surprised look appears on her face.

I run a nervous hand through my hair. “I’ve always felt like there’s no reason to settle down and make anything official with someone if I don’t see a future with them. I don’t like to waste anyone’s time or lead anyone on.”

“Oh…” she says, looking down toward her feet.

“Ah, shit, see I’m not good at this stuff.”

“It’s alright, I get it.” I scan her face, only finding disappointment.

Shit. I’m screwing this up. I’ve never been good with words, unless I write them into a song and clearly this is not the time for that. Well, maybe I don’t need to tell her my thoughts, maybe I can just show her?

I grab her hands, pulling her in toward me, and she looks up to meet my gaze. I kiss her, softly, attempting to show what I’ve been trying my damndest to convey. She melts into my touch and I find it odd how perfectly we seem to fit together. I break the kiss only to rest my head against her forehead.

“Nothing to get besides I really like you,” I whisper. “I know it’s a bit soon to say something like that, but something about you feels different. I’m drawn to you in ways I’ve never been drawn to anyone else.”

Her lips curve upward, the glow that lures me to her returning in her eyes, and she kisses me again. I don’t want to stop, every bit of me wants more, but I force myself to hold back, to go slow . What if this is just some alcohol-induced hook up? What if she doesn’t want me as much as I want her? What if this isn’t as deep as it feels? It has to be, right? Because even though this is new—real damn new—I know this is different.

Her phone dings, pulling me from my thoughts. “It’s probably just Kaylee checking on me,” she says, grabbing her pink phone from her back pocket.

Pink? I’d expect no less s ince it’s bright and fun just like she seems to be.

As much as I don’t mind the thought of going back out into the bar and hanging out with our friends, I’d rather get to know her. Alone, without all the lights, sounds and alcohol. I keep quiet as she texts her friend back, all the while trying to come up with some sort of other option. Something that we can do so I can see if what I am feeling is real or just drunken lust.

“So, do you want to do something else? I don’t really want to go back in the bar. It’s loud as hell and I’ve already had my fair share of alcohol for the night. Plus this way we can talk. How about a good ol’ walk through Centennial Park?”

She lowers her phone and her attention returns to me. “Besides Broadway and Southern Sip—my friend’s coffee shop—I’ve pretty much seen nothing since moving here. I’d love to. I’ll tell Kaylee we’re gonna go for a walk.”

“Tell her not to wait up.” I wink, granting me another smile before grabbing her hand and leading her toward the park. Noting how perfectly her hand fits in mine, I smile too.

Once we get to the park we head towards the Parthenon. Ancient Greek mythology is its central focus, something I’ve always thought was interesting, but not really something that screams Nashville.

“It’s beautiful.” Her words are hushed and filled with awe as she looks all around us, her crystal blue eyes darting from one sculpture to another. “We really don’t have anything like this near Tansy Bay.”

“Yeah it’s really something,” I agree, all while only taking in the view of her and the wonder in her eyes.

After ambling around for a few more minutes, we take a seat on the front steps that lead into the Parthenon.

“So you said you were from Tansy Bay. Where’s that?”

“Indiana. Basically a little old town with nothing in it, especially compared to here.” She smirks, even though there seems to be a bit of something left unsaid in her tone.

“So, was moving here always part of the plan?”

“Actually, not even a little. I just lost my job at Wellington Music Group—that was a local record label that my mom’s friend co-owned. They decided to sell to a bigger company and there were no other jobs locally that had anything to even do with music. I couldn’t picture being happy doing something that didn’t include my passion, and long story short, I’m here on a whim. I made the decision less than twenty-four hours after getting the news.” She tucks a loose piece of hair behind her ear, offering me a bashful look.

She’s so pretty it’s hard for me to control my urge to kiss her, but I ignore the desire. I want to know more about her, and if this is deeper than a crush, we should have plenty of time to do that.

“A whim, hey? What made you want to be in the music industry so badly?” I ask, genuinely curious at her making such a huge decision to move so quickly.

“My dad. He was …a singer.” Her eyes become glassy and her expression swiftly changes to sadness.

Damn, I didn’t mean to overstep. Just my luck that I would ask something that clearly brings up some pain. “I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it. I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“No, it’s okay. Honestly, I’ve bottled it up so long it probably is a good idea to actually let it out.” She shifts her leg and it bumps into mine. I place a hand on her lap, hoping that she finds it comforting. A smile tugs at her sad expression. “The other night when you sang that song, it was like I’d seen—well, heard—a ghost. My dad played that song for me a lot growing up and I haven’t heard it since he died. We lost him seven years ago, but he’s the reason I took this chance.” She rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, then scootches closer. “He gave up the dream to become a singer professionally because he didn’t think he could be famous and have enough time for a family. Some part of me feels like since I had nothing tying me down that maybe I could live out this dream, his dream.” She lifts her hands for a moment, gesturing in the air, claiming the space around us. “Nashville seemed like the best place to do it.”

Her head falls forward and a few silent tears run down her cheeks. I squeeze her thigh lightly, reminding her I’m here, hoping it’s enough to give her the courage to keep sharing if she wants to. I can’t imagine what losing a parent must feel like. But if it’s anything like the loss I felt—still feel, to be honest—when I think of Pops, I can understand her pain.

She places her hand on mine and continues. “My parents had the kind of love I dreamed of having one day. Love that you would give up anything for, even if you didn’t have to. My mom would never have asked him not to go after his dream, but I think for him, the moment he found out she was pregnant his mindset just shifted.” Her lips curve upward softly, her gaze warming. “He was my best friend and the person I shared absolutely everything with. I wanted to be just like him for as long as I can even remember, and music became our thing instead of just his.”

I nod, not wanting to interrupt her as she lays her heart out to someone she has only just met. I wonder if she’s usually so open, or if something about me makes her feel inclined to share. Either way, I’m grateful she feels comfortable enough to tell me. Honored, actually, because for some reason I really want to know more.

Like I said, music was the center of our world.” Her foot begins to tap slightly. “We’d always have these bonfires at the house and Dad would bring out his guitar and sing for us all.

He always wore his heart on his sleeve, but in those moments, you could feel every piece of him radiating joy.”

I can feel the lead up with every word she speaks.

“I asked my dad if we could have a bonfire the day I lost him.” A steady flow of tears trickle down her cheeks once more, but she pushes forward, almost as if she needs to share this moment the most. “I knew he’d say yes, he never said no.” A soft smile shines through her tears, but disappears just as fast as it came. “My life had been so filled with love and joy I never knew what it would be like for that to be gone…until I saw the look of fear in my dad’s eyes.” She starts to tremble and I scooch closer to her, wrapping my arm around her lower back. “He had a stroke. I tried to get him help, I tried to save him, but he died right in front of me, and part of me died right alongside him.”

She lets out a sob, and I can literally see her heart shatter into a million pieces and I can tell it’s not for the first time. She didn’t just lose a parent, she lost her spark.