She’s My Kind Of Rain (Rawlings Ranch #1)

Chapter 21

21

SAWYER - JUNE 28, 2004

I’m normally a morning person. Hell, I’m normally an all day kind of person. It doesn’t take much effort for me to be content or even happy, but waking up today, well, life feels different.

Usually I don’t mind work, and even more so, I love being at the ranch, but ever since I met Daisy I find myself with her. Whether that’s physically or mentally, I can’t seem to focus on anything else. I woke up with the realization that our relationship might just cost one or both of us everything. To make matters worse, Rhett joined some roping competitions at the last minute, which has left me with my own thoughts for the first time in almost two months.

I groan as I tie my boots, readying myself for yet another day in the blistering heat. I have never been one to complain, but I’m finding it very hard to have my love life and my potential music career in limbo. I can’t help but wonder if everything I’ve worked toward is falling into place, or I’m destined to crash and burn. And even though I would love to keep living in this bliss, I know at some point decisions will have to be made. Maybe I should just stop overthinking and overanalyzing the situation. Maybe I should enjoy the moment for what it’s worth and see where it leads me.

I hear clinks of pans as I walk out my bedroom and toward the kitchen.

“Hey,” I say, as I meet Rhett’s gaze. “How did the roping competitions go?”

“Winner, winner chicken dinner,” he laughs out. “It was like takin’ candy from babies, only these babies had beards and piss poor attitudes.” He chuckles once more.

“Nice. Is there anything you can’t do?” I pour myself a cup of orange juice and lean against the counter.

A mischievous expression tugs at his lips. “As it stands, the only thing I can’t do is your mom because she lives too far away.” He tenses as I punch his arm. “Listen, I had no choice. Ya set me up on purpose. This is just as much your fault as it is mine.”

“Well, I was really proud of you for half a second. I saw the hesitation. That’s progress.” I welcome the comedic relief after being stuck in my head.

Pulling my phone out, I check to see if Daisy has sent a message, then promptly place it back in my pocket. Another small huff escapes me. Nothing.

Rhett watches my every move, not saying a single word.

“You riding with me to work today?” I ask more out of curiosity, than to break the silence.

“Yeah, let me quickly grab my shit. I’ll be right out,” he answers, walking out of the room and returning only a moment later.

We’re out the door and down the driveway to the main road before we speak again. My focus is halfway on the road, while the other half remains focused on my future.

“Ya alright, man?” I silently nod, but he continues, “I mean, ya don’t seem yourself. Did somethin’ happen over the weekend while I was gone?” Rhett forces out his questions, sounding unsure of whether or not he should have asked them.

I consider pretending I’m just exhausted, but I also wouldn’t mind getting someone else’s opinion on everything lately, and though I know Daisy is probably who I should be going to with all of this, I also know that sometimes shit I say comes out wrong and I don’t want her to get the wrong impression.

I let out a huff and begin. “I’m honestly just really in my head. I’m not sure how a lot of this works and the more I like Daisy, the more my mind wanders to whether or not that’s some sort of conflict to the whole music deal.” The statement sounds awful as it passes my lips. “See, I really like that feeling I get at the mic, and I have wanted to sing for a really long time, but I have also never met a girl like her and I can’t stop playing through all the scenarios in my head.” Sweat beads down my face, I wipe it off and reach to turn the air up.

Silence from Rhett pushes me to continue.

“I mean, I might be able to have it all, but if I do, it puts us both in an awkward position. What if we break up? Does that end the deal, or do I work with someone who possibly hates me for some reason or maybe I’m not too keen on myself? I mean I obviously don’t plan on that, but who does, right?” Worry pulses through me as I flick my gaze at Rhett for a moment. This is probably way deeper than he anticipated this conversation, but, honestly, he’s the closest thing I’ve got to a brother, and I need to get this off my chest. It’s been weighing on me all weekend.

I let out a soft groan in frustration, not feeling any better that I just blurted all of that out.

“Well, ain’t that somethin’?” He lets out a soft chuckle, and had he been anyone else, it would probably piss me off, but I can tell he’s a bit stumped himself. “Anyone tell ya, ya gotta choose?”

“No, I mean I haven’t met with Mr. Montgomery. I haven’t technically even been signed, and I’m sure Daisy hasn’t brought this up. I mean, why would she? I would assume, as of right now, it’s a non-issue? Plus, you hear all the time about agents and stars dating. This shouldn’t be much different.” Each word that tumbles out of my mouth leaves me feeling worse and worse. Why am I suddenly focused on what ifs? Why not just be content with living in the moment, like I usually do? “I mean what will probably happen is most likely pretty simple, right? If we date, they just transfer me to another rep or they have us sign some shit. I have to be just overthinking it, right?”

He offers me a reassuring smile, but I can sense his worry lingering beneath the surface. “Listen, when the moment comes—and I hate to say it, but it probably will—and ya have to choose, just choose whichever means the most to you. There may be second chances, but ya can’t erase what ya did to need ‘em.”