Shoved (Moonlit Lake Matchmaker #4)

Chapter 31

STORM

Once the Ketterings were gone, I pulled Serena into my arms and let her sob onto my chest. It tore at my heart to see her cry. I wanted to fix it. To take away her pain. Make everything right. But I couldn’t. All I could do was be there for her.

I held her and rubbed her back until her breathing slowed and she stood back to wipe her eyes. I grabbed a tissue from the table behind me. She stepped away and blew her nose. “Thanks, Storm.”

“Everything will be okay, Serena.”

“Will it, though?”

“Talk to me. I thought the meeting went well. Did I miss something?”

She shook her head and grabbed another tissue.

“What is it then?”

“Seeing them and talking to them just opened up a lot of old wounds.” She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “Even though I hadn’t been with Ty for very long and didn’t know him as well as I should have, I still loved him. And it devastated me to lose him like that.”

Major punch to the gut. I hated thinking of her with anyone else. And I couldn’t be jealous of a dead guy. Could I? Obviously, she still loved him. Probably always would. How did I compete with that?

She turned and gazed out the window at the snow gently falling outside. “They seem nice enough. It’s the right thing to do to let Sadie get to know them. Right?”

“I did a thorough background check, and they’re clean. Seem like decent people. I’m sure they’re dealing with their own grief, but I got the sense that they genuinely want you and Sadie in their family.”

She nodded. “Yeah. That’s what I think too.”

She sat down on the chair in the currently unused reception area. I sat in the chair perpendicular to hers, nudged it a little closer, and reached out for her hand. She pulled away and leaned her elbows on her knees, her head in her hands.

“Whatever it is, Serena, I’m here for you.”

“It’s just too much.”

“Meeting them? I can tell them you need more time. You don’t have to see them again until you’re ready.”

“Not that. This.” She motioned between the two of us.

My chest tightened and my heart sank to my toes. “What do you mean?”

“I can’t keep playing house with you, Storm. The time we’ve spent together has been great, and I appreciate all you’ve done for us, but I can’t do this anymore. Sadie needs to be my top priority. And yeah, part of that will be getting to know her grandparents. But also, I want to give her the best Christmas she’s ever had.”

“I can help you do that. We’ll go ice skating in the park. Sledding and tubing on Sawyer Hill. Whatever is on your list of holiday favorites—we’ll do it all,” I promised, desperate to keep her from pushing me away or shutting me out. “I am your holidate, after all. And I promised your mom I’d make it worth her money.” I forced a smile and tried to joke about it.

But there wasn’t anything funny about the energy between us. Something had shifted since the meeting. There seemed to be a vast chasm between us, more like the Grand Canyon, and she seemed to be getting further away from me by the moment.

“That’s just it. I don’t want a holidate. My mom thought she could buy me a date to make up for her abandoning me again. But that’s not what I want. I don’t want to be anyone’s obligation or duty. You didn’t even want to do that stupid auction, and now you’re stuck spending your holiday with us, just because my mom paid a lot of money and told you that’s what you had to do. No thanks.”

I reached out to her and placed my hand over hers. “Serena, that’s not why I want to spend the holiday with you. It’s true, I didn’t want to do the auction. But that was before I got lucky enough to be picked for you.”

“But see. I’m your client, and now your auction date. But that’s not enough for me. Or for Sadie. I want more.”

“Okay. What do you want, exactly?”

“I want someone who will be there for us, and who I can count on not to abandon us. Someone who is with us out of love, not obligation. I can’t afford to start something that might end disastrously. I can’t go through that kind of heartbreak again. I don’t think I’d survive it.”

“You want a guarantee. No relationships can give you that.” What we have was perfect the way it was—the best relationship I’d ever had. Why couldn’t she be happy with that?

She wanted the impossible. A guarantee. Nobody can give her that. Especially not me. I know better than to make such an empty promise.

“I know. That’s why I just need to step back and focus on me and Sadie.” She stood up, grabbed her coat off the coatrack and began sliding her arms into it.

Her words hit me like a punch to the gut.

There it was—our expiration date had come. I’d told myself all along that this wouldn’t last. Statistically most relationships arrived at a similar end, eventually. But somewhere along the way, things had shifted and I’d kind of hoped it could be different for us. What a fool.

Truth was… As much as I didn’t want to lose her, and yearned to plead my case for another chance, a bigger part of me knew the verdict would remain the same—I couldn’t give her what she needed. I had to accept that.

It still felt like she was carving my heart out with a spoon.

“So that’s it. You’re dumping me?”

“We had one date, Storm, and I will cherish that memory forever. But that’s all it can be. I’m sorry.” She jammed her boots on, and yanked her stocking hat onto her head before I could utter another word. “I’ll go wait by your car. If you can still give me a ride to mine, then I’ll be out of your hair.” She opened the door and paused, not looking back. “Or I could find another ride.”

No way was I letting her get a ride from someone else. Those few minutes in the car might be the last I’d spend alone with her, and I wasn’t about to let someone else steal it.

“I’ll drive you,” I barked. “Give me a minute.” I snatched my car keys from my desk with enough force to rattle everything around them. Then shrugged my coat on and locked up the office.

The ride to my house was filled with awkward silence, with Serena staring out the passenger window the entire time. I turned the radio on, hoping to drown out the deafening silence, but it just annoyed me, so I turned it off.

Yeah, I was in a foul mood. And the closer we got to my house, the worse it got.

When I pulled into the driveway, Serena was ready to jump out before I even stopped the car. “Wait. Serena, I know things have been happening really fast. And neither of us had been looking for a relationship. But now, after spending so much time with you and Sadie, I don’t want to go back to the way it was before.” My heart already ached at the thought of not seeing them or sharing the holiday. “Can we just slow down and see how things shake out after the holidays? I know Sadie has been looking forward to spending Christmas at the farm. We had all sorts of things planned. Will you still bring her out to the farm to celebrate with us? I know my parents have their heart set on it too.”

“I don’t think so, Storm. Prolonging the inevitable won’t make it any easier. I think it’s best if Sadie and I have our own celebration.” She stepped out of the vehicle and turned back to face me. “Thank you, though. I don’t know what I’d have done without you and your family these last few weeks. I’ll forever be grateful. Bye Storm.” With that, she made her exit and ran to her car.

A big thank you. Yeah, that’s what I wanted. The woman I loved just gave me a big fat thanks, but no thanks. That’s right, I love her. And now she’s gone. Merry freaking Christmas to me.