Sick Like Me (Sick Like #1)

Chapter 9

NINE

MAY 2024

I wished I hadn’t agreed to the fucking date.

I cursed myself as I got through my front door. He said he would pick me up in an hours time, so I had just enough time for a quick shower, to change my clothes into something more suitable, and then I would have just enough time to paint my face and make sure my hair looked good enough.

I let out a groan as I threw my bag onto the arm chair in my living room, then I stripped, as I always did after work, and made my way through my house to my bathroom. Once I got to the familiar room, I followed my usual routine.

I turned the speaker on, blasting my music. I stepped under the shower and decided to use my fruity scented products. Once I was sure my body was clean, I stepped back out of the shower. I had washed my hair the night before, so thankfully I didn’t have to deal with drying it.

I left my bathroom, my towel wrapped around my body very loosely with a large gap on the side. I was thankful I lived alone, the towel really didn’t hide much of my body. That was the curse of being chubby, I guess.

I walked into the living room and found my clean laundry bag. I walked over to it and dug out a t-shirt styles black bodysuit, and some dark blue skinny jeans. I sighed and knew they were my best chance as everything I owed was basically pyjamas, or lingerie.

So I dried off quickly and changed into my chosen outfit, after picking out a bra and some underwear. To top the outfit off, I chose a cropped cardigan and slipped into it. Then the final piece was black Vans like shoes.

I didn’t bother to check if I looked okay. I decided to grab my makeup from under my coffee table, pulling the lid open to pull the bag out. Once I closed the lid, I then went about my usual makeup routine with a little extra highlighter on my nose and cheeks to make me look ‘softer’.

As if it could distract men from seeing the monster that lay underneath my skin, that itched at my veins to be let loose.

Once I was sure I looked semi decent, I stood and made my way to my front room where the blinds remained still closed. Then I reached around my desk to open the blinds.

I blinked at the sudden brightness from the sun, but I soon recovered. I then stepped back from the window, and pulled my phone up to check my makeup in photos which of course got sent to both Peyton and Stefan for approval.

Stephan: Good luck on your date butty!

Peyton : You look beautiful, angel. Good luck xx

I smiled before I saw Owen’s name on my screen, reassuring me he was on his way and was not too far, he had just stopped off to get some petrol for his car.

I felt my throat tighten, and the urge to cancel. But I decided not to. I had to give him a chance. Worst comes to worst, I’ll have a great meal and I won’t need to see the man again if we don’t vibe.

But what if you do vibe? My brain asked me, taunting and sneering. What if he finds out about the darkness in you. He’ll leave you for it. He’ll hate you for it .

I shook my head, as if trying to shake the thoughts away. Then I made my way back to my main living room.

I picked up the ice cold water from my coffee table and stuck the glass straw between my lips. I sucked, trying to hydrate myself but also calm my nerves.

I moved my hand to a position so that I could see my phone screen again and opened a video app, deciding I wanted to watch something to try to distract myself. I needed to do something before I saw him, otherwise the wait would weigh down on me and make me even more of an anxious mess.

I opened some video about some random drama about ‘somewhat internet famous people’ who I didn’t even know. It sounded like the perfect way to distract myself.

But within no time, his notification popped up on my screen and I saw his map location updated to show he was right outside my house. I let out a breath, then I made my way to the front door where my keys sat.

I grabbed the key, debating if I should turn it and unlock the door. I debated if I should text him and say I was suddenly feeling sick and we should reschedule.

But he wasn’t local, and he had made an effort to drive to me. He even made reservations at the restaurant. So I had to go. I owed him that. I didn’t owe him anything else, though.

I forced a smile as I pushed the door handle down and made my way outside, a small satchel bag around my body. I then turned around the lock my door before I shoved my keys into the bag. I then sucked in a deep breath before I turned around.

Before me I saw a man around my height, but with gingery brown hair and what looked like the start of a moustache on his face. He leant against the side of the passenger side of his car, the side facing me. He looked up as he noticed movement from his peripheral, and I felt tense as his eyes locked in on me.

My eyes looked him up and down, and I noted he was wearing a casual white shirt which looked like airy cotton. He wore light jeans, and some brown dress shoes. He looked much more dressed up than I, and I felt growingly self conscious by it.

I kept my forced smile as I made my way to him, hyper aware of every step I took. I wondered if I looked like a dickhead as I walked, or if I looked fat in my clothing choice. Guaranteed I was ‘curvy’ generically speaking, but I wondered if my tight jeans only just accentuated that more in a bad way.

I tried to push the self conscious thoughts away, it wasn’t like this was my first date of the year. I had been on others. I had been on other dates before the year, also. I wasn’t new to the dating scene.

So why was I acting like I was?

A part of me knew the answer, but I decided not to dwell on it. I was to focus on Owen Greenwich, and only Owen Greenwich for the night.

I finally reached the white car, and Owen pushed himself off of it. He smiled at me and even wrapped an arm around my shoulders in a small greeting.

God, it was fucking awkward.

He let go of me as quickly as he touched me, and only once he had walked around the car to the his side had I noticed two things.

One, he smelt fucking amazing. Of what, I was unsure. But whatever cologne he wore was intoxicating.

Second, he had said something and I had totally accidentally blocked him out.

“Ashton, are you okay?” He asked, throwing up an eyebrow in concern. I turned to face him, watching as he pulled open the driver’s door. I let out a small laugh, waving my hand to dismiss his concerns.

“Sorry, I’m just tired after work,” I excused, then I watched as he nodded in understanding before he climbed into the car on the driver’s side.

I let out a breath I hadn’t known I was holding, then I grabbed the door handle and pulled open the door to get into the passenger side. I stepped in carefully, and then I held my bag tight on my lap after I secured myself in with the seat belt.

“Do you want to play your music?” He offered, holding the lead out to me which connected to his radio.

I shook my head and spoke softly, “Oh, no that’s okay. You can surprise me with your music taste.”

“Ohhh, putting pressure on me,” He joked, his voice deep yet calming. He sounded like what a mint tea tasted like before bed time. Soothing, healing. I was surprised a voice could affect me so much.

I pushed my lips together, pulling the insides between my teeth as I contemplated what things we could talk about, ways I could get to know him. I didn’t even realised how I must have looked, as if I was zoning out and ignoring him.

He cleared his throat as he pressed play on his phone, then he put it down in some cubby under his radio. The car then purred as he pulled out of my drive and made his way to the country lane.

“You live a bit out of town, but I was still surprised how close you are to the nearby streets. Usually living in the countryside tends to mean you’re miles and miles away from everyone else,” He stated, then waited for a few seconds as he awaited my response.

“Yeah, it’s kind of not fair to call where I live the countryside, but most people do. It’s just basically the outskirts of the outskirts,” I let out a little awkward laugh, to which Owen hummed in response.

The car fell silent as he whizzed down the country lane towards the main road, and I felt like it was a mistake to agree to a date so soon. We knew nothing about each other, we barely had time to text one another back.

“Have you looked up what you wanted to order?” Owen asked in reference to a conversation we had some days ago where I revealed I always chose my order days before I went to restaurants, to which I sucked in a breath then gave a singular laugh before I nodded.

“Yeah, I looked up the menu online. I think I know what I want, but I haven’t locked in on anything yet. I’m open to seeing what they have there and going from there. What about you?”

He let out a laugh, letting his right hand go of the steering wheel. He raised a hand to run through his hair, and that was when I noted it wasn’t just me who was nervous. It was him too.

That fact made me feel better. It made me smile.

“I saw the menu when I was picking the place, but I didn’t look too far into it. I’m a bit too impulsive to pick something beforehand anyway,” He replied. He seemed to notice his nervous habit was showing, and forced his hand back into position on the steering wheel.

I smiled as I turned my head to look out the window, noticing the trees being to disperse as we pulled onto a main dual carriageway.

I didn’t live far from the restaurant he had chosen, and so within no time he pulled off the main road into a nearby town where a pub sat on the corner of the road, and directly behind it was where the restaurant sat.

Owen pulled his car into a parking space with empty spots next to us on either side. As he turned the engine off, I climbed out of the car as he did so too. He stopped to check his pockets and pulled out his wallet. “I got the goods, let’s go in shall we?”

I nodded and walked around the car until we both met and walked in time with one another. We walked mostly in silence to the front door, and he motioned with his hand for me to go first.

“Oh, um, thanks,” I said with a small, yet awkward, laugh. He laughed in response to my reaction.

“Not used to men being polite, I take it?” He joked, to which I nodded and laughed again.

“I guess you could say that,” I replied, smiling as I stopped at a small counter in front of the tiny hallway. A woman stood behind it, typing away on a small computer. She looked up at our intrusion, to which Owen stepped in front of me.

“Table for two, Owen Greenwich,” He spoke smoothly, calmly. He sounded so unaffected, and I wished I could have at least one percent of the composure he showed.

“Right away, follow me,” The woman spoke cheerfully. She picked up two menus and then walked around the small counter off to the right. I followed after her, to which Owen followed after me.

The woman led us up some stairs to the second floor, then she walked to the large windows out the front of the building. Sat under each of the three windows was a table with just two chairs under them.

The woman placed the menus down in front of each chair on the table, then she turned to me and smiled. “Here you go. I’ll have someone come and check on you in a few minutes.”

And with that, the woman waltzed off back downstairs, leaving Owen and I upstairs mostly on our own save for a man stood behind the bar by the top of the stairs. I sucked in a breath and smiled small, pulling out the chair nearest me to sit.

Owen sat on the chair opposite, the one closest to the wall. He looked around, his eyes lingering on a nearby faux blossom tree. “It’s really pretty in here,” He noted, to which I smiled and nodded my head in agreement.

“Yeah, it is,” I replied, my eyes scanning the windows. I let out a little giggle, pointing at the windowsill. “They have pasta in the windows.”

Owen turned his body to have a look, and then let out a small laugh of his own.

I reached for the drinks menu in the middle, my eyes scanning it carefully. “What do you think you’re going to get?” Owen asked, leaning forward to try to lean over the menu.

I placed the menu down between us, turning it sideways for the best chance for us both to read it. I pointed to the cocktail section, my finger landing on the expresso martini. “I want this, I love a good expresso martini.”

“Mmm, sounds good. What should I get,” He pondered. His eyes scanned the menu, then they seemed to light up. As I pulled my hand back, his finger slammed down on the menu. “I’m going to go with a negroni I think.”

Despite using a questioning tone behind his words, he sounded more than adamant that that was exactly what he was going to be ordering. I smiled, nodding. I liked a man who knew what he wanted.

A woman came by not too much later. “What can I get you both?” She asked, a small notepad in her hand with a pen tucked in neat to her palm, ready to sue the second they spouted their orders.

“Can we have a negroni and a martini expresso, please? We need a bit more time to consider the food, sorry,” He smiled at the waitress, his teeth white and dazzling.

The woman smiled at him, and I watched her carefully as she noted down our order. I was thankful he ordered for me, I hated speaking in public and if I could help it, I would prefer not to do it.

Owen opened his menu, and I followed suit. “Are you going to be ordering any starters?” He asked, to which I shook my head.

“They look good, but I don’t know if I would be able to eat a starter, main and a dessert. I saw they do tiramisu so I’m just going to go for a main and a dessert I think,” I spoke calmer than I felt.

I didn’t want to order too much and look like a fat fucking cow in front of the man. I was self conscious enough eating around people I didn’t know, but eating a full three course meal on a date with a man I had never met before? It was nerve recking, more than I cared to admit .

I could sense Stefan and Peyton sat in the back of my mind with popcorn, watching the scene before them like a movie. They were likely screaming at me to flirt with him, throwing popcorn at the scene as if that would make me act how they wanted.

I swallowed, leaning back as the woman came back with our drinks. “How was your day?” I asked him, the smallest of smiles on my lips.

The second his drink landed on the table, he picked it up and took a sip. I noted a sparkle in his eyes. So it was his favourite, I deduced.

“It was alright. I had an annual leave day, as you know,” He began, but then turned to the waitress so as to not seem as if we were ignoring her. “Can I have the chicken kiev with a side of sweet potato fries?” He then turned to me, his light brown eyes warm and inviting. “What would you like?”

I pointed at the risotto section, smiling. He seemed to take the hint rather quickly and ordered once again for me, my smile growing larger than I expected it to. “And the pancetta, leek and parmesan risotto. Do you want any sides?” He looked back at me, to which I shook my head. He noticed my smile, and threw up a questioning eyebrow but smiled himself in return. “That’s all, thank you.”

The waitress left us to our own devices. “What’s that smile about?”

I laughed a little and shook my head. “I don’t know, this is just… Nice,” I bit the inside of my lip, trying to stop my smiling.

He nodded in agreement, before he seemed to remember what he had been speaking about before we were temporarily interrupted. “I took my sister to pick up her exams results earlier,” He commented, taking another sip of his drink.

I picked up my own, and took a small sip. I felt the coffee taste hit my tongue like a warm blanket, and nodded slowly in appreciation. “How did she do?” I asked, before I took another sip then placed my drink back down.

“She passed with flying colours, not that we expected any less of her,” He looked proud as he spoke about his sister, and it made me momentarily jealous that I was an only child. I wanted someone to speak about me that way, or I wanted to speak about someone else in the same manner.

Instead I just had a mother touring the world with her very rich, retired husband and a father who lived in another country who urged me to date different men, telling me to ‘move onto the next’ after each shitty date.

I swore my father was just trying to marry off to the first bachelor who stuck around. Unlucky for him, the men I dated very rarely wanted to stay around me for longer than three dates maximum.

“Did you get up to much else after that?” I asked, my eyes locked in on him just as much as his were on me.

“Hmmm,” He rubbed his chin with his thumb and forefinger as he thought. “Well, I mostly did what I do on a weekend off. I went to the gym after dropping her and her friends off to town, then I went home, got showered and gamed a bit before I dressed up and came to pick you up.”

“Sounds like you had a mostly chilled day,” I replied, looking down at the menus in front of us. I picked his up and folded it, then did the same to mine before I placed it on the edge of the table for the waitress when she returned.

There wasn’t long of a wait before our food landed before us, piping hot and smelling divine. I picked up my fork, then stopped to look Owen.

“Would you… like to try some?” I offered. I didn’t want to try his food, but he was unsure what he wanted and so I wanted to at least give him the option to taste another menu option.

I have no idea where the courage even came from. I had never asked a man previously if he had ever wanted a taste of my food, and even in that moment I hoped he said no. I was just trying to appear mostly polite if anything.

He looked at my bowl of food and seemed to debate for a second before he nodded his head and held his hand out, “You know what, yes, I will.”

I stared at his hand for a second, then I realised he wanted to use my fork. So I picked up some food on it and handed the end of the fork to him. He swiftly brought the cutlery to lips and took the bite, then he handed it back to me as he chewed.

I stared at the fork in pure shock for a second before I composed myself and used the fork to pick up another scoop of my risotto, then I shovelled it into my mouth. As I chewed, I hummed and nodded my head. “This tastes great, how are you enjoying yours?”

He seemed so unaffected by what he had done, and I considered maybe it was just me who had an issue with it. Adults shared food sometimes, and I agreed to a date with this man. Surely that meant he eventually wanted to kiss me, so eventually we would kiss on that mindset.

But sharing a fucking fork on the first date? It was surely a first for me, and I knew Stefan would have a good laugh about it whenever I would get the chance to tell him about it.

I watched Owen as he cut up a piece of his kiev and plopped it into his mouth, chewing slowly. He nodded his head, then after he swallowed he replied. “Yours was great, but this tastes unbelievable. Would you like to try some?”

I shook my head with a smile.

We spent the meal chewing and talking in between. I learnt a little about Owen and how he joined working at the company we both worked at, and in return he got to learn about my friendship with Peyton and how I became an unwilling yet very loving Godmother.

“It sounds like you really adore that child,” He replied, placing his cutlery down once he finished the last bites of his food.

I swallowed my final bite and placed my fork down, then picked up my drink to finish the final dribble left in the glass. “She was the bane of my existence at first, but she’s not too bad now. I just can’t wait until she’s older and thinks she’s some edgy teen who runs away from her mum to her ’cool aunt’ for the night.”

I let out a little laugh, to which Owen laughed also. “Well, you’ll be her… AILF?”

“What the—” I stopped myself from swearing. I noticed in our texts Owen didn’t swear, and so I tried my best not to where possible. And I would be damned if I swore in front of him on our first date. It would likely be a huge turn off for him, I pondered. “A what?”

“Aunt I’d like to… you know. Like a MILF, but the aunt edition,” He let out a little stream of giggles, which sounded insanely cute from him.

I leant back in my chair and raised my hand to cover my mouth as I laughed harder than I intended. “Why thank you for the crude compliment,” I teased.

After our plates were cleared away, I got my tiramisu which I had to order on my own—a minor let down—and Owen swapped out his negroni for a coconut milk latte whereas I decided I would have a strawberry daiquiri.

He drew the short straw when he agreed to drive me, otherwise I wouldn’t have had a single drink that night. I would have been fine driving to the place on my own, and we could part in our own separate ways then too.

But now, if things get awkward, I still have to sit in a car with him as he told me he would take me home. Sure I could get a taxi or ask someone else to pick me up, but I wasn’t sure my phone still had much battery left. It was left abandoned in my bag, my whole attention on the man before me. His own phone was nowhere in sight, which I appreciated. I liked focusing on one another with no other distractions around.

The dessert only came with one spoon, but I could tell Owen wanted to try some as he noted he had wished he had ordered one.

So I did the same thing as I had with my main, and picked some up on my spoon before I held it out to him in offer. “Would you like some?”

And that was how I shared a dessert on my very first date.

The woman who hated the idea of kissing with tongue because it shared germs shared a fork and a spoon with a man, without a second thought.

Maybe Owen Greenwich would be the one to tame my monsters, I believed at the time as he dropped me off home. I watched his car pull out of my drive, his hazards flashing as I waved him off.

I couldn’t contain my smile as I walked back into my house, placing my bag on the floor. I sucked in a breath as I closed my eyes, but my smile remained. I had begun to like Owen on our momentarily awkward, yet sweet first date.