Sick Like Me (Sick Like #1)

Chapter 44

FORTY-FOUR

The sun shone bright as Stefan and I lazed on sun loungers facing the pool, with the seat behind us with nothing more than a few bushes keeping us separated from the vast ocean.

The pool was fairly busy, but not too much. The hotel seemed to be one only adults could book into, so we were safe from screaming children. Thank God. I didn’t hate children, but I would never want any myself.

Music played loudly from the speaker under the umbrella which was home to the outside bar. The music was upbeat and the opposite of how I felt.

The words from the night before which had been spat painfully in my face were slowly fading as I tried to focus on other things, such as work sketches.

I looked at the sketch I had just made. It was meant to be a children’s playroom with a wall of windows and a fireplace which was historic to the home. I wanted to make the room easy enough to advance with the ages of the King children. But no matter how many times I started the design over, I hated the end result each time.

I sucked in a breath, then closed my tablet as I rested it on my chest. Drawing interior designs was not how I usually liked to spend my free time, but it was meant to be a welcome distraction. So I could forget.

I wanted to forget he had ever existed. Which I knew would be a feat easier said than done. We had been a… thing for a year at that rate, and it was never easy to end a relationship of any kind. Not for me, anyway.

Despite how shallow we seemed to be, it still hurt to have to cut him off. I knew that was what I had to do, for both of our sakes.

Stefan turned his head to look at me, his eyes hidden under his aviators. But I could feel the unspoken words between us. He wanted to know what had happened the night earlier. He wanted to ask why I drank myself stupid in the bath and cried as if I gone through the worst heartbreak in the world.

He had to carry me to bed, and I was thankful he hadn’t mentioned it. I was being dramatic, I knew that. But who wouldn’t be if a man who you were developing feelings for had said such horrible things to you. Things that made you question your own worth.

Never again would I let a man make me question my worth, I had silently promised myself as I looked in my tired reflection when I had first woke up.

In some ways, I guess I had gone through a heart break. But it was a reminder, a harsh one, that he was not mine to have and never would be. He had made that very, very clear. He wanted nothing more than to use me as a wet hole to bury himself in, and I had no use beyond that.

“Just say it,” My voice sounded hoarse and tired, but a mild anger was bubbling behind my chest as I wanted to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.

But I meant so little, there was nothing I could do to hurt him.

Stefan’s lips parted in a look of surprise at me calling him out, and I closed my eyes as I felt as if I couldn’t face him. I didn’t meant to take it out on him, and I knew he would understand. He was always like that, on my side no matter what.

“What happened last night?” He finally asked, pulling himself from the slouching position to sit with his back straight against the back of the lounger with a Pina Colada in his hand.

I kept my eyes closed, a shiver ripping through me despite the bright sun and the lack of wind.

“You don’t have to tell me,” He continued, most likely having noticed my reaction at his words.

I shook my head and opened my eyes, turning on my side to face him. I pulled my towel over me, hoping to gain some warmth. My whole body grew cold at the memory of the glare he gave me in the hallway.

“I spoke to Dakota when I went to the bathroom,” I replied after a few more seconds of silence. He nodded slowly.

“You never refer to him by his full name like that,” Stefan pointed out. “And what did he say to get such a reaction out of you?” He continued at the lack of response from me, his words slow and careful as if he were scared it would cause me further panic.

I tried to act nonchalant and care free as I shrugged my free shoulder. “He just reminded me about the relationship between us,” I began, but then a giggle erupted from my throat in an anxious attempt to keep my anger at bay. “Well, lack there of.”

“He said you two weren’t in a relationship?” He asked, trying to put two and two together.

I moved to sit and picked up my almost finished glass of water from the table between our chairs. I was in no state to be drinking again, not after the throwing headache that I woke up to behind my eyes from all the wine I had drunk once we landed back at the hotel room.

I gulped down the water, then I stood. “I guess you could say that. ”

I didn’t mean to be so cryptic to him, but I worried if I went into detail as to what Dakota had said, I might end up crying right there at the side of the pool. So I kept my explanation minimal. I could save it for the night, when we could down some wine between us once again in the comfort of out hotel suite.

I wished Peyton had been there with us. She would have known what to say or do to make me feel better. I could always call her, I guessed, but I knew she had shipped Nova off to her parents for the week and was picking up a ton of shifts at the bar. She wanted to save up for her daughter’s birthday in the coming months, just before she started nursery in school.

I picked up my bag from the floor between us. Stefan looked as he were going to stand too, so I held my hand up to stop his action. “You stay here. I’m off to grab some snacks and a nap. Meet you back at the room at 5 for lunch?” I offered, to which my best friend nodded his head and gave me an almost sad looking smile.

“See you in a bit, yeah? Just call me if you need anything,” He replied, picking his phone up from his lap to wave between us to show he had it at hand should ever or whenever I needed him.

I smiled and nodded my head before I turned and walked away from him back to the doors of the hotel. I made my way through the lobby to the elevator hallway, and scanned my card to get back to the room.

I had full intentions of napping once I had slipped out of my swimwear and into a white cotton co-ord set that was light and allowed a lot of breeze to cool me down.

But my phone buzzed and ruined my whole mood that I had spent careful time trying to compose.

I read the message several times, but was at a loss of words as to how to react or respond. I wanted to scream and throw my phone in anger. I wanted to sit in the shower and cry with a glass of wine and a sad song playlist .

But I did neither, as I sat on the chair on the balcony to my room and read over the message several times.

Dakota Vernon: Are you free this afternoon?

He must have been having a fucking laugh, I couldn’t help but curse him as I locked my phone and placed it screen down on the table. I closed my eyes and leant my head back once again, but the calm I felt had been stolen away.

I let out a puff of air from pursed lips, then I wrapped my hand around my phone and snatched it up to read the message once again.

I debated not answering. I debated blocking him with no further warning. I suspected he was asking so he could hook up again. But after the harsh words he had spat at me with pure venom, I wanted him as far away from me as humanly possible.

But like the fucking idiot I was, I let my hands take over as my fingers pushed into the screen with an angry speed.

Me: I’m doing stuff.

His reply was almost instant, as if he had been waiting for my response.

Dakota Vernon: What stuff?

Me: None of your business.

He didn’t type at that reply, and I felt a small smirk of pride form on my lips. Yeah, I fucking told him, didn’t I?

I had fully intended on napping once I had got back to the room, however the heat was stifling and I kept tossing and turning. So I decided to go for a walk in the surrounding area to try and scope out a bar for our final night which was only a few days away.

I hated to sound like some stuck up brat, but I wanted nothing more than to go home at that time. I wanted to delve back into work and forget my struggles with Dakota. I wanted to forget his words and instead invest my energy in Owen.

He didn’t give me the same thrill and tingles, but at least he never treated as nothing more than some fuck toy that he can ditch whenever a newer and better model came around.

I came to a pier of worts and found a bench at the end of it. I walked down it, admiring the sparkling sea before me. I wanted to jump in.

I came to sit at the bench and held my bag on my lap. I felt my phone vibrate from inside it, and I was surprised to see Dakota finally replied.

Dakota Vernon: I see you.

The message was creepy, to say the least. I sat up straighter and locked my phone before I looked around. Sure enough, making his way down the pier in a white and black outfit with his hair a shaggy mess, I found Dakota Vernon making his way to the bench where I sat.

I watched as he got closer, and then I felt a stab in my chest at the reminder of his words.

“You are nothing more than a pathetic whore, don’t you get that?”

“You’re nothing more than some horny bitch who opens her legs the second I give her attention.”

“But at least you were a decent fuck. Not quite as good as Gwen though.”

“I don’t feel anything for you.”

I stood and dropped my phone back in my bag. At that, I watched as Dakota dover for me and held his hand out as if that would stop me from walking away.

“Ashton, wait,” He sounded exhausted, as if he hadn’t slept a wink the night before. But he had no right to feel that way, he had no right to lose sleep over feeling guilty because of what he had said .

But then again, I wondered if that word was even part of his vocabulary. He was likely just tired from fucking Gwen all night.

The thought made me sick.

“Where’s Stefan?” He asked, looking around in search of my best friend. I rolled my eyes and shrugged.

“I don’t know, I’m not his fucking carer,” I snapped, my voice much harsher than intended. I watched his jaw clench at my words, and I knew he hated that I had talked back to him like that.

But he fucking deserved it.

“Are you alone?” He asked, to which I shook my head.

“No, I’m with my imaginary dog called Charles,” I replied, sounding a little too sincere. But then I let out a laugh and shook my head. My voice turned cold, almost like venom. “What do you want?”

He let out a puff of air from his noise while a gust of air picked up, wafting his intoxicating perfume to me. I fucking hated his perfume.

“I just want to…” He began, but his words cut off and he seemed at a loss for words. That was a first from the man, at least for as long as I had known him.

“Spit it out or fuck off,” I snapped. “Gwen is probably waiting for you,” I continued, and I saw him flinch at the use of her name.

Score, I thought. Using her against him seemed to hurt him. Good. Lord knows he deserved it.

“She’s out with Olivia doing some shopping,” His voice was soft, and I almost hadn’t registered it at first. He sounded in love, and it made me want to throw up. He never spoke about me like that.

But then his words from about a year ago haunted me. He said, when he trapped me in his car, that he spoke about me to his friends like some obedient bitch that followed his every word. That should have been a sign back then how he saw me .

“Then you better go find her before she spends all your money,” I spat before I turned away from the man.

But then an idea came to mind. I could use Owen against him, just as he had used Gwen. I knew it would affect or hurt him, but I was feeling petty. Was it wrong to fight fire with oil? Sure, but what else was I supposed to do?

“Owen is waiting for my call anyway. He’s been waiting on my call almost all day, I would hate to leave him waiting any longer on me,” I tried to sound dreamy as I pulled my phone from my bag and held it in my hand tight.

“I hope you find someone you love as much as he loves me,” I smiled, but the words felt bitter on my tongue.

“You don’t love him,” He more so stated rather than questioned. I frowned and tilted my head in question.

“What makes you say that?” I asked, feeling like a glass wall in front of him, as if he could see my inner thoughts at all times.

“You said ‘as much as he loves me’, you didn’t say ‘as much as we love each other’. So you don’t love him,” He sounded sure of his words, almost methodical.

I said nothing, I just pushed my head up higher and tried to hold a sense of authority about me. He had no right to have an explanation about myself or my feelings. He deserved nothing from me.

Finally I turned once again for the final time. He made no move to stop me that time, and I knew what that meant.

It was the end of us.