Silent Screams (Hollow #1)

CHAPTER 27

Two and A Half Years Ago . . .

Did I imagine it? The angel at the foot of my bed? Did I imagine this angel with the darkest eyes?

It was all a dream. Of course, it was a dream.

Why would a random man be standing at the edge of my bed? He was so beautiful, my angel, and now he’s gone.

And the reality of life is shooting right through the prick of a needle straight to my heart.

“Gemma! Gem... oh, thank God. . .” I hear the cries of Gia right next to me and I feel the warm hand that belongs to my father.

“Gemma . . . it’s Dad. Can you hear us?”

I stare at him, slowly turning my head because the smallest movement hurts.

Holy hell, everything hurts.

My throat is so dry it’s as if I’ve been deprived of water my entire life. I stare at the multiple IV’s taped to my hand.

“Gemma... do you remember what happened?” my pregnant sister asks, her trembling hand placed over mine .

“Harv—” I can’t say more. The pain is too grave. So much pain I just want to go back to sleep.

“You were in an accident, sweetheart,” Dad says.

“Harv—” I cough again.

I see a veil of tears blurring my sister’s eyes when she answers me. “H-he’s in surgery. You focus on getting better.”

Harvey. Surgery.

No. No.

It hurts—it’s burning, it’s wheezing, it’s trapping me. My heart, my mind, my body—it all hurts so damn much.

A nurse comes in and introduces himself but I’m miles off this planet.

I just want to know how Harvey’s doing.

I don’t care about the nurse’s name or that I was in an accident. I don’t care, I don’t care.

Tell me that Harvey’s okay.

Tell me he’s okay.

That’s all that matters.

I focus on the wall ahead before closing my eyes. The real world is too painful. There was no pain in my deep sleep. No pain where I came from.

I want to go back. I want to go back now .

And see my guardian angel again.

I fall in and out of consciousness for who knows how long. All I know is that every time I open my eyes, I wish to close them again to dream of chocolate brown eyes.

Nightmares bury me deep within. Of the crash. Of Harvey’s voice when he screamed my name. It all plays back on repeat.

Over and over.

Until someone wakes me up and drugs me again.

I don’t complain—ignorance is bliss .

Sometimes I meet my guardian angel in my dreams again. He gets closer and closer to me, but his beautiful face remains a blur.

Why can’t I fully remember him?

When I wake, I find Henrik holding my hand, sitting on a chair next to the hospital bed. My throat feels dry still, but through the stiffness and the weakness, I’m a tad better.

My family doesn’t need to tell me anything—I know. My sister’s eyes are bloodshot red, and so are my dad’s. If I have a concussion, broken ribs and several bruises, as the doctor told me, it’s not much to fuss over.

“Hey. . .” Henrik greets me, a warm smile on his tanned face. He’s been crying too. I can smell the weed on him like his own perfume brand. He hands me water, and I chug down half the glass with a straw.

“My parents were here earlier while you were asleep. . .”

“Harvey?”

He squeezes my hand before I process his words. “He’s been out of surgery for a day now. He’s in and out of it—like you.”

I clear my throat. “You’re lying. Don’t lie to me, Hen. Everyone needs to stop lying.” My voice is small, barely a whisper.

“It’s the truth,” he says simply, avoiding my gaze. “Once you feel better you can go see him.”

“I do feel better.”

He raises his brow and nods after a beat. “We’ll talk to the doctor.”

As if I need anyone’s permission to see Harvey. I’ve been kept away from him long enough.

“Anyway. . .” he removes a pack of cards from his back pocket and shuffles the deck around. “Let’s play a bit.”

It’s the last thing I want to do. But I’m beat, and I don’t want to argue with Hen. We play a round and he talks and talks, letting me revel in my own silence .

Not long after, my dad and Gia come into the room with subs and drinks.

“We got food!” Gia sounds chipper.

“Henrik.” My dad eyes him with a strange stare before his soft green eyes settle on me. “How’re you feeling?”

“Good.”

“Good is good.” Gia places the food tray in front of me, telling me to dig in.

I do.

I’m starving and I need my energy to help Harv heal too.

While my dad leaves to speak with the nurse, Hen kisses my forehead. “I’ll come check on you soon. Everything will be alright, Gemma.” He gives me a tight smile, and his words rub me the wrong way.

What’s wrong with Harvey?

I might be a floor or a few rooms away from him, but deep down I can sense his suffering. I know there’s something they’re not telling me.

Gia sits on the bed next to me and sighs as she holds on to her stomach, watching Henrik leave. It hurts a bit when I scoot over to let her have space, but I imagine it’ll take a few more days, maybe more, before I feel normal again.

“If only I was into fuckboys,” she jokes, making me chuckle, which turns into a wince. “We could’ve dated brothers if I wasn’t madly in love with my husband.”

I finish my sub and my drink in record time. The carbs. The sugar. My body’s happy for the intrusion.

“I want to see Harv.”

She nods, holding my hand. “You’ll see him. They had said a few days; you should be discharged tomorrow. You kept complaining that your head hurt yesterday. Your CT scan showed no swelling, but they wanted to keep you a while longer to make sure.”

“Where’s my phone? ”

She points to a small table in the back. “Harvey can’t text right now, Gem.”

I feel a massive fireball taking refuge in my throat. “What did he get surgery for? Is he okay?” I’m pleading for answers, whispering my questions in fear that I’ll break.

There’s this anxiety inside me, building momentum, begging to be set free.

It rises and rises deep within when Gia says, “I need to explain something to you, but you can’t freak out... nothing is conclusive yet.”

I swallow.

It’s as if my lungs will tear apart as I take deep breaths, unsure if it’s the result of my injury or my mind ready to reel out of control.

I don’t look at my sister. I just hear her breaths and feel the sweat in the palm of her hand.

“Tell me,” I plead.

“H-he injured his spinal cord. Henrik said... Hold on, he texted it to me.” She checks her text messages and begins reading aloud. “Basically, they did a few surgeries for decompression of the nerves and vertebrae to relieve any pressure on his spinal cord. They also made sure there’s no fracture or anything weakening his spinal cord... and they had to fix something in his left shoulder. . .”

I can almost feel the moment my brain explodes with a million questions, but I refrain, hoping she’ll say more, knowing if I speak all hell will break loose.

She puts her phone away and holds my hand, as if she can see my frantic breathing. I’m hearing her talk, but all I can do is stare at the hospital wall in an attempt to remain calm.

“When he first woke up, he couldn’t feel some parts of his legs... injury to the lumbar nerves, I think they said L1 or L2... incomplete damage. . .”

No. No !

I let go of her hand to grip the sheets instead.

“Gemma... I’m so sorry... they’re still testing the extent of his paralysis... He has control of his arms and his torso... and some nerve feeling in both of his legs—”

Paralysis.

I block her out. The nurse comes to check on my vital signs, but I hear none of his words.

Harvey. Paralyzed.

“Gem? Can you hear me?”

I close my eyes, controlling the gigantic feeling in the middle of my throat. Because I want to cry .

Leave me alone. Don’t talk to me, please.

With my eyes closed, I can see my memories more clearly.

Harv . . . I can’t see anything . . .

We should stop . . .

Why didn’t we stop? Why didn’t I make a scene? Do anything, get his attention!

Harvey. Harvey. Harvey.

I’m so sorry. No. No. No.

Not my beautiful blue-eyed boy. Not you, Harv.

Gia puts her arms around me, enveloping me in a tight, warm hug. My broken heart is desperate for her touch, to heal itself. But I want distance. I want to be alone while I process this.

There’s a scream coming out of me—one loud enough to gain attention from the entire hospital.

I cry and shake and shiver, my body in an uncontrollable stupor.

Imagine my surprise when Gia doesn’t react. Or the nurse I see leaving when I open my eyes and realize nothing came out. Nothing happened.

The scream, the cries, the pain.

It’s all in my fucking head—inside my damaged heart.

Nothing will ever be the same.

God, why didn’t I do more to make us stop?