Silver Screens and Broken Dreams (Echoes of Us #2)

7. “There is no remedy for love but to love more.” - Henry David Thoreau

Dylan

Six weeks later

“There’s so much blood,” Myrna cried into the chest of her husband, her tears soaking the white shirt that was stretched across his impressively wide, muscular chest, her arms wrapped tightly around his waist. Her hands were clasped behind his back, stained with the same blood that was pooled on the floor from the chest wound of the woman lying at their feet. Her body was still and pale, without a breath or flicker of an eyelid to indicate that she could be saved.

“You need to tell them what happened, exactly how we discussed it, okay?” Jake whispered into her ear, pressing a kiss to her wild red curls.

“Jake, I don’t think I can do this,” she cried, pulling away from him, wincing as she caught another glimpse of the gruesome sight below.

“You didn’t have a choice, Myrna,” he said sternly, gripping her by her upper arms. “There was no other way; she made sure of that.” He nodded towards the large butcher knife that was resting loosely in the hands of the body.

“They will never believe me.” Her teeth ground together as she looked nervously at the door. The sudden sound of police sirens pierced the air. She pulled away from Jake and tried to make a break for the door. “I have to…”

“Myrna, for god’s sake, no!” he yelled. “You have to do exactly as I said. Tell me you understand me.”

“Jake…”

He shook her for a moment before setting her back in place. “Tell me!” he barked.

“I understand.”

The sound of footsteps running up the wooden stairs of their apartment building had them both turning towards the apartment door. Loud knocks sounded out from the other side.

“It’s the police!” A deep voice barked from beyond the door. “There’s been reports of gunshots from this location.”

Myrna looked at the handgun now in place on the Formica dining table in the kitchen, only a couple of meters away.

“I’m coming to open the door,” Jake shouted, “we are not armed.”

Jake opened the door to reveal two police officers in full uniform, their guns drawn. He backed off and gestured for them to enter.

Breathing deeply, Myrna took a couple of steps backwards, backing into the arm of the sofa. The sharp impact of her body caused the couch to shift and she fell backwards, landing unceremoniously on the floor just in front of the now out-of-place sofa.

“Shit balls,” she laughed, her hands flying to her face to cover her smile. “I'm sorry everyone, my fault.”

“Cut!” Miles Jeffery, the director of Episode One, shouted across the large sound stage. “Reset everyone.”

Jenna, the actress playing Myrna mouthed an apology at Ged, playing Jake. “Sorry Jax,” she laughed next towards the star of the show.

He threw her a subtle wink and waved her off.

“Take five while we get ready, people,” Miles yelled, chatting with the script supervisor as the crew rushed about the set, putting everything back to their starting positions.

“I really like this episode.” I suppressed a shiver as the deep voice burrowed its way into my ear and slunk its way down my spine. The sweet aroma of bergamot and oranges permeated my nostrils, managing to smell both summery and like Christmas at once. I turned my head slightly to see Jax crouching down next to me, his thick forearm resting on the arm of my chair.

“Thanks,” I grinned, “you’re doing great out there, you know.” I gestured towards the set where Jenna and Ged were currently going over their lines standing above a stage blood-soaked extra on the floor, who remained motionless throughout.

“Really?” he bit his bottom lip and looked up at me from under those thick dark eyelashes. “I’m not coming off like a hack or anything?”

“Not at all. I like what you’re doing with the character.” I shifted in my chair to face him. I searched his face for some imperfection. Something I could hold onto when I was convincing myself that he wasn’t one of the most handsome men I'd seen up close in real life. In the first few weeks I'd hoped he would turn out to be a giant douchebag and that he would do all the work for me in that regard. Annoyingly, he was also perfect in that department as well. He was strong, supportive, sweet and funny as all hell. It was very annoying.

“I hope so,” he grinned, and even the damn crooked tooth at the side of his mouth was too cute for words. He looked so vulnerable. It sparked a need in me to reassure him and soothe away any concerns he might have. “You’re trusting me with something really special here.”

I make a noise and some attempt to wave off whatever compliment he could throw my way. He stopped me in my tracks.

“I really want to make you proud, Dylan.” His big strong hand gripped mine and squeezed it ever so gently. “Also, please stop calling me Jax.”

“That’s your name.” My palms began to sweat.

“No, that’s my professional name. I want to hear my real name in your mouth. Call me Spencer. Please?”

I fought the urge to jump his bones right there and then. I mean, I could suck his dick just once right? That would surely be fine. I mean, people might have to look away, but it would be totally worth it.

“Positions everyone,” Miles called, and the stage bell rang, alerting everyone to the live cameras and sound. Jax — Spencer — gave my hand one last squeeze before returning to his mark.

I watched from the small bank of monitors surrounded by large two-meter-high moveable walls. The video village was my favourite place to be in during tapings. I loved to watch on the monitors with my huge headphones on as my words and scenes came to life on screen. I loved the drama, the different takes, and the small changes the director and producers made to the scenes to make them more impactful. I even loved the bloopers that happened now and again.

Natalie preferred to sit off to the side with the other writers, as they workshopped changes on the fly if a scene just wasn’t working. I watched as the scene unfolded, as the couple spinning their tale to Detective Nico Amore about the spurned lover and her attempt to take out the competition. I watched as Myrna, the protagonist who would turn into an antagonist during this episode, tried to play the innocent victim, spinning her tales to Nico/Jax — Spencer — as he gathered information around the dining room table, the supposed murder weapon sitting between them.

I watched the director as he paced back and forth between the two main cameras, capturing the scene. His eyes watched like a hawk as the actors moved from mark to mark between their lines. Miles had directed two of the six episodes that we'd filmed so far. Only three of them had come back from the editing process and sound department and were currently in the can, waiting for their turn to be screened. I kept up with the raw dailies that were delivered to my inbox every other day and sent my notes along with the directors and the production company execs. I tried to keep my creative control fairly low-key, letting the directors have their moment in the starlight, but, as the showrunner, I had the final say and complete control over what the final product would look like.

In those first few days, I'd had a few sleepless nights worrying if I would be able to translate my vision to the screen. I needn’t have worried, I'd realised as I watched Spencer masterfully work within the scene to bring his character and those around him to life. I watched take after take, as the director yelled action and he transformed from the hot-as-sin actor who made me want to throw all my rules out the window and lick him all over, to the world-weary but sexually charged Nico Amore.

Nico reached across the table and took Myrna’s hand in his own and squeezed it affectionately. I thought I might be drooling slightly as the camera closed in on their joined hands, but my gaze strayed to those thick hairy forearms, corded with strong muscle, bunching up under the sleeve.

“I have some singles in my purse if you want to tuck them into his waistband?” I chuckled under my breath and look across to the benches at Natalie as she spoke into the small black walkie-talkie in her hands.

“You know these private channels are anything but private, dick,” I said, pressing down on the intercom button on the device as I unpinned the walkie from my lapel.

“No one is paying attention to us.” She smirked at me. “Everyone in this town is too wrapped up in themselves to pay attention to us writers. It’s like a licence to kill.”

“If you’re planning a murder, I’d like to remain in the dark about your nefarious plans, please.” I wagged a finger in her direction.

“Oh sweetie, you know if I ever kill anyone, you’ll be my first victim.” I flipped her the bird before turning back to the monitors. She went silent for a few moments, only a low crackle audible on the line. “Are you seriously never gonna hit that?” Her face was now mere inches from my own.

“Creeping Jesus!” I yelled loud enough to earn several glares from crew members and some narrowed eyes from one very annoyed director.

“Still rolling!” he shouted. “Quiet on the set!” He stared my way pointedly. I caught a small smirk playing at the corner of Spencer’s mouth. His obvious stares and blatant perusal of me had been the talk of the writer’s room for a couple of weeks now. Each and every time the suggestion that I should do something proactive about it had reared its attractive head, I’d shut it down before it became a whole thing.

“I don’t know how many times I have to say it, Nat.” She pulled up a chair next to me, resting her head on my shoulder as she watched the monitors alongside me. “Not only is he the lead in the show that we created, but I’m also the bloody showrunner. The power imbalance is just something that we can’t ignore.”

“Yeah, I know,” she sighed, “it’s just so unfair. He is so goddamn hot, and he looks at you like you’re a tall glass of water ready to quench his thirst.”

“Please don’t make it any harder than it already is,” I groaned.

“Seriously, if he looked at me the way he looks at you, I’d be hard all the time too.” I frowned, turning towards her. She pointed at her nipples and I nodded my head thoughtfully.

“So yeah, as much as I’d like to conquer Conway Mountain, I think we just need to be professional.”

“Hmmmm.” Her eyes studied me like she was solving some great mystery.

“What?”

“I call bullshit.” She smirked, her fingers twirling in the cable of her headphones.

“Explain.” Not knowing what nonsense was going to come out of her mouth this time, I braced for the worst.

“I think that while, yes, it might not be the wisest idea to get involved with an actor on your show, you know as well as I do that as long as you're open and honest with the studio execs and the relevant people then it’s not exactly against the rules.”

“Well, I mean…” I stammered.

“I think we have a rather large case of the scaredy-cats here.” She clicked the tongue against the inside of her cheek, rolling her eyes at me as she started to turn away. I grabbed her wrists to stop her retreat.

“Hey, what was that supposed to mean?” I tugged gently at her, pulling her back firmly into her seat.

She shook her head, her eyes darting away from me. “It’s nothing. I shouldn’t have said anything.”

I narrowed my eyes at her, her gaze finally settling back on me. She huffed out a sigh of defeat and shrugged. “I think the reason you don’t wanna give that fine-ass man a chance is not because of who you are, but because of who he is.”

“Huh?”

“Do you think maybe it’s possible that you have already made your mind up about him because he’s an actor and you’ve been burned before?”

My jaw slackened as I sat there and tumbled down into my own thoughts. It was true that the power dynamics were not perfect, but as I sat there and sank into myself, I wondered, Is that the real reason I have the instinct to run from Spencer every time he shows interest? Did my experience with Austin sink so deep into me that I‘m not talking about that failed relationship and using it as a tool to beat off all other potential relationships?

“Listen, I didn’t wanna bum you out or anything, but maybe have a think about why you really haven’t had any meaningful relationships since then.” Squeezing my knee, she kissed me gently on the head before returning to the other writers.

I cringed as I realized that Natalie might be right. Although I had no immediate plans to jump Spencer’s bones, I could maybe see a point in the future when my resolve to keep him at arm’s length would be much weaker than it is today, if it existed at all.

I pulled my gaze back to the monitors and watched as Nico Amore gathered Myrna up in his arms and told her everything was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, I was maybe starting to believe that too. I watched him through the screen and began to believe in possibility once more.