Simply Curious (Straight to Gay: Best Friends)

Mateo

"No matter how I look at it, it's disgusting," Aiyden said, the first words either of us had spoken for a solid ten minutes at least.

It was that kind of night, quiet, and I was more than happy to switch my brain off for the day while we lounged on Aiyden's bed, browsing our phones. Sometimes it was just nice to chill with someone without feeling like you gotta be on , keep 'em entertained, and Aiyden was always good for that kind of thing.

"What is?" I asked absently, scrolling down through post after post.

Aiyden turned his phone around from where he was sat up against the headboard, holding it out for me.

Dead center of the screen, was a graphic video of a guy furiously ramming his cock into a girl from behind, slapping his thighs against her with each thrust.

"Dude, the hell?" I let out a puff of what-the-fuck laughter and straightened up from where I'd been slouched against the wall, looking away, "What the fuck you watching over there?" With me right here .

"What, don't like it?" Aiyden challenged, "It's disgusting right?"

Disgusting. That same word. What was he getting at? I looked back to the video, that same thrusting, over and over. It was repeating in a loop, hardly 10 seconds of furious sex.

I cleared my throat, feeling a little hot. "Uhh, it just looks like regular porn to me."

"Yeah, exactly." Aiyden huffed, loud and irritated, he looked back at the screen. "You watch this shit?"

" Do I watch porn? Yeah?" I laughed, "You're acting like you don't."

"Course I don't. It's fucking gross."

"What? Gross ?"

"Sweaty bodies, shitty dirty talk, over-the-top moans. People I don't even know mashing their ugly naked bodies together, why the fuck would I wanna watch that?" Aiyden spat, leaning forwards, into my space.

Woah. Okay.

That was a lot to unpack. "Alright, alright. I get it." I raised my hands in surrender, till he eased up a little.

So Aiyden didn't watch porn apparently. And clearly, he had a few thoughts about it. But no, seriously? What kind of healthy twenty-one-year-old didn't, or reacted like that to it?

What was wrong with strangers fucking anyway? Was I missing something here? I mean yeah, if it was sex, I'd rather know whoever I was hooking up with, and based on that reaction, Aiyden had to be the same.

Hold on. I mean, I'd always just assumed...

It wasn't like we ever really talked sex, Aiyden wasn't about that. He'd always been quiet on that kinda shit. Whenever it would come up with the guys he was always dismissive, shrugging it off like nothing.

Sure, with the hours he worked at his apprenticeship tryna rise up fast, made sense for relationships to be on the backburner, but I always figured he was at least hooking up on the down low. Not one to boast about it with all that faux posturing bullshit like some of the others, and that was something I could respect. But was he even actually...?

I mean... wasn't like he couldn't get it if he wanted it...

Yeah, okay , personality-wise he could be on the abrasive side, and with those big dark eyes, and those thick brows furrowed into that permanently pissed-off look, well, even without the height, let's just say he could be on the intimidating side.

Then again, that was kind of the appeal, wasn't it? A little dangerous. From every cut of him, he was masculinity and fight. The hard line of his jaw, rough calloused hands, and the way toned muscles rippled out of a dark tanktop that was way too fucking small . Seriously, it was tight enough that it was riding up, revealing a slither of warm brown skin and black hair trailing lower...

"I just don't get it," Aiyden said and—

Fuck. Staring. Come on , what were you doing?

Aiyden was back on his phone, studying the clip he still had open. "So this shit... is hot to you?"

"Uhh..." I coughed, "I mean sure."

He was messing with his phone again, typing things in, before holding it back up again. "Then, what about this?"

"Come on dude," I rolled my head back, thumping it against the wall behind me, and laughed. It was porn again, of course it was. "For real? What is this?"

"Look, I'm just tryna see something." And oh, he was serious . " This , is hot to you?"

There was a new video on the screen, this time a filthy close-up, a shot of a guy's ass, pounding into someone over and over. Cum slipped down their bodies and pooled onto the sheets below with every thrust.

He looked at me, one eyebrow raised, like he was waiting for a contradiction.

"Yeah, it's hot." And god, so was my face. Burning right up.

He took back the phone, all suspicious-like. The next moment he had a new video on the screen, possibly filthier than the last.

"And this?"

Whatever the fuck we were doing, it went on a few more times, Aiyden, pulling up videos and eyeing me like there was no way I could be into this one. And fucking hell, I was a simple guy, it was sex, it was all hot. Even in this too stuffy room, sitting on Aiyden's bed, his eyes studying my every reaction.

Here I was trying to ignore these jeans that were just starting to press uncomfortably tight against my dick—-hopefully not obvious yet—-and apparently Aiyden was totally unaffected? Could he not feel the temperature of the room rise? It was at least a few degrees hotter, fuck, I was just about ready to roll up my sleeves, maybe open a window.

Eventually, Aiyden seemed to have had enough, leaning back and staring at his phone, eyebrows furrowing together. "Man, ya'll are fucking weird."

And despite everything, I cracked up. In a certain way, it was funny. His neutral tone. Aiyden looked up and lifted just one brow at me.

"Yeah sure, we're weird." I laughed. "God, Aiyden, you're something else. Alright, alright, if you're not watching porn, how you getting off? What are you thinking about?"

Aiyden hesitated, squinting at me, as if he was trying to decide whether it was worth saying or not. But come on, we were way past weird territory here.

"Nothing," He shrugged, "nothing. Anything. Work, groceries, whatever the fuck is on my mind."

"Groceries? What?" I couldn't help the incredulity from spilling out. "No, hold on, do you actually even jack it, or...?" Not watching porn is one thing, but not jacking it is a whole other. How could anyone not ?

"Yeah," Aiyden huffed, but then he was looking off to the side, "I mean I get off. Sometimes. Not with my dick."

"Huh?" What the fuck else was there? Nipples?

Aiyden's posture had stiffened, jaw clenched down, and he stared at me, with those intense eyes, like it was self-evident, like any moment I'd get it.

It wasn't like Aiyden to be vague. To not just say things outright. More than that, he seemed pissed that it wasn't clicking. Or maybe nervous. His finger was doing that thing, tapping against his knee, a habit he wouldn't have wanted me to know about.

It was hard to tell in the dim light of the lamp on the nightstand, but his cheeks seemed like they'd darkened with color. Aiyden let out a frustrated breath of air. "You never heard of prostate stuff or what?"

"Prostate? Oh," I said, and then a half-second later " Oh ."

Aiyden liked to play with his ass.

AIyden liked to play with his ass . That's how he liked to get off. Alright. Fuck. I didn't think he could have said anything I was less prepared to hear in that moment.

And what did that mean exactly? What, would he want a cock up there too? Was that what that meant? Fuck, was he gay? All this time knowing him could I have missed something like that?

Aiyden clicked his tongue derisively. "I can tell you're thinking something stupid. It just feels good. Not hard to understand. Lotta guys do it."

"Do they?" I retorted, and then, to the way Aiyden's scowl deepened, "Nah, I'm sure they do. Was just surprised and all." I ran a hand through my hair. "Does it feel that good? Better than jerking off? Don't you ever just do it like normal?"

Aiyden scoffed. "You've obviously never tried it. If I'm going to the effort of getting off, then I want to feel as good as possible. It's not even close."

"Right yeah. 'Course," I said distantly. Of course playing with your ass wasn't comparable. Of course that was a thing.

Here I was doing things the normal way, while Aiyden was getting busy fucking himself on what— his fingers? A—A dildo?— while thinking about fucking groceries.

I shifted and turned slightly away from Aiyden. Fuck. I was hard. Full-on hard, dick hot up against my thigh, straining against the fabric. This was bad. I needed to clear my head, but, just—

Aiyden liked to play with his ass.

I picked my phone up from where I'd discarded it on the bed once Aiyden had started shoving porn in my face and tossed it from hand to hand.

I didn't think I could miss something like Aiyden having the hots for guys, maybe it really was just something guys did sometimes.

It was hard to picture though. Aiyden was so...

Way back when I'd met him, I'd thought he was the toughest shit ever. Never taking anybody else's bull, never backing down from anybody, no matter if they were twice his size. He'd taken my lanky ass in and taught me how to stand up for myself and fight. He was always strong, always with that aggressive determination in everything he did.

I mean I knew now, that more of that was for show than he'd let on. But still, something just wasn't clicking in my brain with this new information. Maybe I had it all wrong here, putting my own dumb assumptions into things.

If I had to pick, I might've thought he'd be the type of guy pinning someone down and pounding into them. Not spread out and fucking himself.

Oh god, did he get desperate? The image shot up, clear in my head, of Aiyden on his knees, ass up, face buried in the covers, dildo in hand, helplessly fucking himself against it. Desperate sounds coming out of his mouth with each thrust—

"Are you fucking hard?" Aiyden asked point blank.

Fuck.

I fumbled my phone before catching it and snapped my head towards Aiyden. He was staring hard. I couldn't tell if he looked more pissed off than usual, or if that was just his usual resting-bitch-face. My heartbeat raced through my veins at double-time regardless.

If he knew what was in my head... Yeah no fucking way.

"You just shoved a bunch of porn in my face, what the fuck are you looking at me like that for?" I rushed out, face burning.

"That was enough to give you a boner?" Just one side of his lip tugged up, a half smile that was a little teasing, a little mean.

I gave the most casual shrug I was capable of and hitched my leg up high, for a bit of cover. I just had to wait this out. Except, Aiyden couldn't just give me a bit of room could he? Even as I flipped from menu to menu left and right, I could feel the burning gaze of his eyes, still on me, heating the room up with just a look.

"Come on, what you looking at?" I broke.

His eyes widened slightly, and then he huffed a quiet laugh, eyes glinting looking almost predatory. "It's kind of interesting, I guess." He shrugged, looking off into the distance and then back up at me. "So you usually... You jack off while watching this kind of shit, right?"

"Yeah?" That was normal, the normal thing people did.

Aiyden hummed, he looked me down from top to bottom, and back up again, meeting my eyes, gaze domineering. "Show me."

"Hah?"

His eyes did not waver. "I want to see how you do it. Show me."

"Uhh, are you for real right now? You mean take my dick out, here? Jack off here?"

"Why not?" His gaze was hard, imperious. "You're already hard. You could take care of it, instead of tryna drive it down through force of will."

"But—" I shoved my phone down onto the bed and swallowed. "Is that not, kind of fucking weird?"

"Who gives a fuck?" He said simply, "Look if you don't want to do it, just say it."

...

I did kind of want to, was the thing.

God. Would he have asked any of the other guys this? Yeah, no way in hell. Though maybe that had more to do with the fact that he knew I wouldn't give him shit like they absolutely would. That I might actually consider doing it. Was considering it.

He wouldn't talk. It was Aiyden, there's no way he would.

"You asked for this," I mumbled under my breath and fumbled with the zip of my jeans, hands shaking slightly for god knew what reason. Probably the adrenaline. That would explain the fucking heartbeat knocking around in my skull.

I pulled out my cock, and shot a furtive glance back at Aiyden. He was staring intently, big dark eyes looking fierce, even now. I hadn't exactly shown my cock to many people in my life.

And then he was coming closer. Fuck, too close.

He settled just by my side and leaned in slightly. "Huh."

Like it was some kind of specimen he was examining. My dick pulsed in my hand. All too self-conscious now that I'd taken the thing out.

It had been a while since my last trim, black hair running wild. I jerked my cock slowly, carefully. I used a light touch, casually rolling my foreskin up and down around the head.

Even without looking at him, I could feel Aiden's eyes on me. There was something about that, that got me all hot and buzzing.

What exactly was this for him? What weird curiosity was I satisfying within him? Why did I like his eyes on me this much?

It'd been too long since I'd been laid. Yeah, much too long if I was getting all hot over this . This was Aiyden .

"Oh right," Aiyden said, "you like to jerk off to porn, right?" He said it like an afterthought. Then he was taking his phone out casually and typing something in, before holding it up for me.

It was another short video.

"You like this kind of thing?"

"Yeah," I said quietly.

And so we were fucking doing this. Aiyden brought up videos for me to watch. Get off to . Sometimes gifs and loops, short clips, with and without sound. He'd scroll through some website, sift, and pick something out for me to watch, then study my reaction. Looked like he'd been paying attention earlier, cause he knew exactly what kind of close-ups and sweaty fucking I liked. Mostly though, it was the same type of guys fucking girls hard, some blowjobs. At least until the last one.

My dick twitched in my hand and I intook a deeper breath. Fuck. Was this intentional?

Maybe it wasn't obvious at first glance, but the person from behind, bouncing up on the guy's massive cock?—Definitely a dude. Where was he finding this shit?

"You know that's uh—That's gay, right?" I swallowed dry, but I didn't stop the slow stroking of my dick.

"Oh." Aiyden turned the phone around, stared at it for a second. "Ah, my bad."

I thumbed the tip, stared down at my cock, and away.

Alright, okay , it wasn't like I'd never watched gay shit before.

Look , it happened to everybody, right? Even if nobody was gonna admit to it.

When you're ultra horny, jacking yourself off, and you stumble on things and you kind of don't give a shit who it is getting fucked or sucking dick. Watching some beefy guy pin another guy down, pound into him, did it even matter who it was below?

Pre-cum spilled out and onto my hand, I groaned a little and thumbed at the tip, spreading it around.

Aiyden leaned forward slightly, getting closer, "Gross." He said, eyes intense, a small tilt of his lips.

Heat rushed up my body and I sputtered, "You're the one who wanted to watch, that's what happens."

He actually called it gross. My fucking dick. I fisted my hand tight into the sheets below. Why did that not get me any less hard?

"I call it how I see it. It's gross." And there was that same, almost satisfied, mean smile from before. "But like I said, it's interesting."

Interesting. This fucker.

In twenty-one fucking years of my life, this had to be the gayest shit I'd ever done. How could he sit there, looking at me like that? Was this really just curiosity for him? And why was it just me, baring myself like this?

It could have been my imagination, it was hard to tell with Aiyden, but staring directly at him, he definitely looked a lot more flushed than he had earlier.

I leaned in closer, and Aiyden's deep brown eyes came to mine, pupils large. He looked wild, hint of something else there that might have been dangerous, and his breath fanned across my face. "Why am I the only one with my dick out here?" I licked my lips. "Come on. You do it too."

His eyebrow twitched and my heart stopped in my chest. Like he might just scowl, call the whole thing off.

It was just

It was just fair , right?

And maybe I did want to see it. Even if I couldn't explain why.