Sin of the Saints (Between Delusion and Sobriety Duet #2)

Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six

Bellcolor

I hear a hymn. The voices are high and soft, like a comforting downy blanket on a winter’s day. I turn my eyes upward, wondering if it’s the angels singing from on high, but I know that if they were angels, the water would surely have dulled the song. No, the singing is coming from the water.

I relax my muscles, close my eyes and let my body drown, and for the first time in my life I feel uplifted. The water is clean and cool, and my head is clear. I strip off the heavy black fabric clinging to my body, and feel relief as the water envelops me. Like the day I was created , I think.

I open my eyes and see a beam of light approaching me. I reach a hand out to it and it curls around my arm like a serpent. I shudder at the thought of the primal sin staining my hands.

“Have no fear,” a low voice tells me, and I’m startled.

“Are you Him? ” I ask in a trembling voice.

“I am,” He answers. I want to say something, anything, but my mind is blank. I’ve forgotten everything I wanted to say the moment the light appeared before me. Why did I come here?

“Bellcolor,” he addresses me, and I look right into the light. It isn’t blinding, but soft. Warmth spreads through my chest at the sound of His voice saying my name.

“Oh God…” I let slip as his grip on my heart tightens.

“Indeed, we meet again,” he replies, and the serpent of light swims around me, surrounding me.

“I—”

“I know what your heart desires!” His voice is thunderous and I’m filled with terror at the thought of having angered Him with my most secret wish.

The serpent of light coils around me and then takes the form of a glowing man, reaching a hand out to me in reconciliation. I lift my trembling hand and combine it with his. His light floods me and I gasp in surprise.

“Your prayers have been heard.” His voice is pleasant and peaceful, and I allow myself to relax.

“But are they worth hearing? Is the prayer of the most damned one worth hearing?”

“All my children deserve my love. Even the lost.”

“But is love not a sin in the eyes of so many of your humans?” I dare to ask.

An incomparably marvelous laugh erupts from the light, and I’m flooded with sublime happiness. “All I asked is for them to love each other. Love thy neighbor as thyself 1 .”

My heart grows and I smile as though I’m mesmerized at the sight of Him. Before I can give in to the serenity, He caresses my cheek and says: “Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,they will cease; where there are tongues,they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away 2 .”

“What does that mean?”

“That my love is pure as it is. Those who deign to interpret it are doomed to sin against it and lose their way.”

“As Lilith sinned…” My voice dies away. I clear my throat and heat spreads from my neck in shame, having acknowledged the sins of the one I bear within me.

“You’ve caused me no small amount of trouble, Lilith,” He addresses her, and I’m worried by the tone with which He says her name. “And your children, like mine, cause us problems. I gave them my scripture, my laws, yet it is human nature to forget them, and me. Again and again, every human chosen to bear the Word begins an affair with an ending set in stone.”

“Set in stone…” I repeat his words. “Are we destined to fight forever?” My voice is so small, and I lower my eyes as though seeking to disappear.

The light lifts his hand and takes my chin, forcing me to look at Him. “War means destruction. You seek to destroy my creation while I offer you redemption,” he says. “Humans are evil, but I have faith in them, as I always have had in you.”

“Tell me what to do!” I implore Him. “Why did you give me your power? Tell me!”

“If I do, what will be your lesson? If I promise you a place in the Garden of Eden, you’ll sin frivolously.”

My mouth hangs open. Is he accusing me of being frivolous? “Have I not been punished enough?”

“You have yet to complete the punishment I placed upon you.”

“What more will you bring down on me that I don’t already know?”

His hand brushes across my cheek and moves down my face to the collar around my neck. With a light touch I hear the lock opening, and I gasp as my lungs suddenly yearn for air. I have to hold my breath, lest I drown. My vision goes blurry and I kick out to ascend past the water line. I breathe the world’s air and a single word echoes in my mind – acceptance.

Before I can ponder its meaning, or the emptiness I feel opening up within me, Ellis’ blue eyes appear before me. I can’t shake off the shock as he smiles and says: “And the Word is forgiveness.”