Sin of the Saints (Between Delusion and Sobriety Duet #2)

Chapter 28

Chapter Twenty-Eight

Bellcolor

T he hymn has been playing in my head from the moment I met my Creator in the clear waters of the Kinneret. Ellis told me the source of that water was sacred. The Church use it for the most stubborn exorcisms. They’ve never failed, so he says. But I put my hand on my heart and don’t dare say otherwise. Lilith is still within me, and her spirit is quiet.

“I can’t believe my fucking luck,” Ellis runs a hand through his hair and laughs. “Witnessing a miracle on that scale is the most blessed privilege.”

“I guess…”

“It means my proposal wasn’t such an innocent heart’s desire after all. You’ll be able to join us, my platoon.” He’s practically jumping for joy next to me.

“Yes,” I whisper, but something’s still bothering me. God didn’t give me his blessing or his forgiveness. He asked me for acceptance. What exactly am I meant to accept? That’s why I didn’t fight Ellis when he took me. I think if anyone can give me answers, it’ll be the Pope. “Will you be with me?” I ask nervously.

Ellis gives me a slightly shocked look. “You have nothing to fear from the Pope, Belle. He’s the one human in the lands of Adam who’s closest to God. He acts only in accordance with His laws and teachings. If God Himself has purified you, he’ll be pleased.” I nod, unconvinced. As I walk alongside Ellis through this palace, it feels too much like my first time in Libretto’s castle. Evil is everywhere, even in the holiest places. “This way.” Ellis stops in front of double doors on the third floor, and I take a deep breath. “You’ll be fine, Belle.”

He tightens the robe he gave me and covers my head with a hood, to conceal my naked body. Then he opens the doors and nods for me to enter. I take a breath and find that my body rejects it, just as my heart rejects the sanctity around me.

I take cautious steps into the luxurious suite, and despite the indelible wealth around me my eyes are fixed only on the white figure seated on the red cushion.

“Lilith,” he says in a steady voice, leaning on one hand and examining me.

“Belle,” I correct him with a trembling voice. Does he see straight through me to realize that Lilith hasn’t been banished, despite what Ellis believes?

“Belle.” He nods. I approach and he motions for me to stop. I freeze in place as we exchange glances. Finally he breaks the heavy silence. “You think you’re ready to be free?” he asks.

“What?” I don’t understand what he means.

“Are you prepared to accept Jesus Christ into your heart and be redeemed in the name of the divine?”

“No.”

“No?” His white eyebrows rise. “Then why are you here?”

“I need answers, and I believe you have them.”

He bursts out laughing, and I pull back. He nods and holds a hand out to me.

“Did the Lord God not give you all the answers you seek?”

“I don’t understand what he wants from me,” I’m forced to admit.

“And the Word was—” he gestures and waits.

I hold my head high and the hood falls back, revealing my face. “And the Word was acceptance,” I say in a steady voice.

“Then so it shall be,” he says, and in that moment the door to the suite bursts open and his army of saints swarm in, led by Ellis.

“Ellis?” I tremble in fear at what’s coming.

“Don’t worry,” he says with a dark smile. “We can have you after you’ve fulfilled His word. It will lead you to salvation.”

“N-no…” I try to protest as his hands grip me, but the shock overtakes me and I freeze.

The Pope rises and follows us, never turning his gaze away from me. The footsteps of the angelic squadron reverberate in my heart and I’m having trouble breathing.

We arrive at a meeting room with a long desk, and I burst into tears. Dozens of priests are seated around the table, their eyes full of lust and satisfaction. The auras around them go bleak and I try to stifle my cries, to no avail.

Ellis gently lays me out on the table. I shake my head. His gentleness is too foreign for this situation, and my bad feeling about this.

“What are you planning to do to me?” I manage to ask.

“It’ll be alright,” he whispers, caressing my head. He looks away from me and nods to the angel standing beside him. The angel hands him an old, heavy metal object and nods towards my lower body.

“What is that thing?”

“For you to be one of us, we must ensure the purification was successful. Consider it your entrance exam,” he answers, and I feel a chill knowing Lilith is still inside me. “It’ll hurt, but don’t worry, it’s the price you must pay for inviting demons into you. When it’s over, you’ll be one of us.”

“No!” I wail as loud as I can, and Ellis looks at me again, caressing my head.

“Shh… everything will be alright,” he whispers to me.

“Hold her!” I hear the Pope command his army. Strong hands hold me down. They hurt, pulling me hard, and I’m sure they’ll tear me apart any moment.

The cold metal is positioned between my legs, and I hold my breath, not daring to make a sound.

“You’re alright, Belle, everything will be alright,” Ellis keeps saying. I hear the sound of the metal slicing the silence.

Nothing’s alright.

I have no place in this world, this world where all of us are damned.

There’s no point in prayer because no one hears me.

Even Bar is lost to me. He’ll never be more than an illusion, a reflection of an innocent heart’s wish that was never meant to come true. All is lost.

I’m sick of the lies.

Is this my end? Is this the thing I have to accept?

You tell me, do you want this to be my end?

Because it’s too late to rewrite it.