Sinful Obsession

1. 1 – Vienna

1 – Vienna

I poke at the chuck roast as the meat falls apart in little clumps, telling me that it is in fact not meat and is whatever kind of bean concoction that my mother claims is healthier than cow. She keeps trying to deceivingly feed us items, saying that it’s better for us and the future of this planet. I call bullshit, mostly because the dinners she makes now taste like ass. No, that’s not correct.

Even ass tastes better.

A heavy, annoyed sigh falls from my lips as I glare at my mother asking about my grades for the umpteenth time. They haven’t changed since two weeks ago, still Bs and Cs as I spend most of my time thinking about him . Asmodeus. My lover in the dark. My demon. My soul. His name lingers on my lips like a forbidden spell, a name that I whisper to myself to feel the safety of his gentle touch. Just thinking about him gives me a sense of calm as I stab my fork into the bean mush, ignoring any conversation at the table. In just a few more minutes, I can rush upstairs and say his name aloud to bring him to my side.

“Vienna Haddox! You’re so disrespectful lately. Constantly ignoring your father and I as we try to get to know you. You’ll be here the entire winter break and over the last week, you’ve said approximately three words during our family dinners.” My mother slaps the table to grab my attention, my shoulders falling in defeat.

I don’t like being reminded that I’m stuck here for winter break while most of my friends are gallivanting across the country or spending weeks on a beach. Without the necessary funds to enjoy anything other than the local theater, I’m resigned to this little white picket fence house with parents who are fed up with me and my interests—or lack thereof.

“Vienna, sweetie, are you still seeing that imaginary friend of yours? That demon?” She clutches the wooden cross necklace around her throat, her eyes suddenly wide with worry as she waits for my answer. She knows what I’m going to say and for her, it never gets any easier. I’ve been to every single fucking doctor in the city until one of them diagnosed me with schizophrenia and paranoia, writing a script that I absolutely don’t need.

Because Asmodeus isn’t a figment of my imagination.

I have the hickeys to prove it.

Rolling my eyes, I shove a piece of bean roast into my mouth and immediately regret it. She won’t let up though, my father disinterested as he grumbles over his plate. He hates Mom’s food just as much as I do. “His name is Asmodeus, Mom,” I correct her, meeting her gaze. “And he’s not some figment of my imagination. He’s very real and he cares about me.” I won’t get into all the details of how thoroughly he fucks me after showing up nearly every night or the way he whispers sweet nothings in my ear until I fall asleep.

I’ve never had a man take care of me like Asmodeus does and I’m wondering if it’s a demon thing. Even just a kiss from him ignites my entire body in a way that my ex boyfriends could only dream of doing.

My mother leans back in her chair, grabbing her napkin to dab at her lips before speaking. “Vienna, you need to take your pills. You can’t get better if you insist on something that isn’t real. Besides, next year you’ll be picking up a real job and working with your father. You’re too old to be—”

“Too old to what, Mom?” I snap, unable to keep the edge out of my voice. “Asmodeus is everything to me. He’s perfect. You have no idea how he makes me feel or the future he’s promised me. He’s everything .” I clench my fork and knife in my hands, waiting for her to continue spewing shit that will only make me angrier.

Instead, it’s my father that speaks up. “Vienna, it’s not a he . It’s a demon. A demon that has somehow wormed his way into your thoughts and told you that he is the only way.” I should have known that my parents—devout churchgoers—wouldn’t understand nor would they believe me. Even if they did, they would think I’m possessed or have been led to the dark side. “This fixation is becoming annoying. I don’t know what your obsession with this demon is or why you’ve allowed him to take over your thoughts but it needs to stop. Darling,” he turns to my mother. “I think maybe we need to take her to the church.”

A tense laugh bursts from me as I stand up. Having me repent for my apparent sins that they think I’ve committed or hiring an exorcist—they haven’t but I’m sure they would—won’t get rid of Asmodeus. The only place I’ve ever seen him is in my room. “Neither of you know anything.” I grab my plate and toss it in the sink before taking the stairs by two. My parents are calling for me as I shut myself in my room and lock the door, hoping and praying that my demon will show up tonight.

I need him desperately.

The familiar tingle and soft hum of anticipation bleats around me, my room thick with the faintest, sweetest scent of smoke and sandalwood. His presence lingers in the darkness, not even a light shining through my blinds—just the way I like it best.

“Asmodeus?” My voice is soft, carrying on the tendrils of the void rippling through my room. The darkness feels alive but only silence meets my call. No deep, rich laughter, no whisper in my ear, no sudden warmth as he materializes behind me. I try to weather my disappointment, knowing that he has his own priorities, least of which must be me.

After all, he’s Satan’s son and running a large part of hell.

He spent a few brief moments with me last night, murmuring something in my ear as I fell asleep, the momentary warmth wrapping me up in a perfect little cocoon. But tonight, I need him.

Trying not to read into it, I strip out of my clothes and slide under the covers before calling my best friend. I’ve known her since freshman year, someone I could always rely on even if she never understood my latest obsession. Ella picks up, her bubbly voice sounding through the earpiece. “I was wondering when you were going to call, bitch. You’ve always got some excuse not to come out with us!”

I snort. “Because your idea of a night out is $100 and not remembering what we did. I’m saving up.”

“No, you aren’t. I’ll bet you $5 that you’re in your room, waiting for your imaginary demon to show up and kiss you goodnight.” Her laughter rings through the earpiece. I usually would laugh along with her but it feels patronizing. It feels like she’s mocking me. “Vi, you know I love you, right?”

“Sure, I just don’t like getting laughed at every time I try to talk to you. I know you don’t understand all the stuff about Asmodeus but—”

Ella cuts me off. “No. I don’t understand, especially since your mother took you to a fucking therapist. I’m worried about you. The obsession is unhealthy. All your friends are worried about you!”

None of them have ever told me that. They just look at me weird. No one texts me and asks me how I’m doing or wondering where I’ll be. No one invites me out. I’ve taken it to mean that I’m not worth their time and while that hurts, I have Asmodeus to fill in that free time. “Everyone’s stopped talking to me, Ella. No one’s worried. They just don’t care. Besides, Asmodeus is important to me. I thought maybe one day you’d understand but—”

“Because I’m not delusional?” she snaps. “Because I live in the real world where people don’t have demon boyfriends who come to visit them at night?”

I knew she wouldn’t get it. I snuggle deeper beneath the blanket, clutching the phone to my ear a little tighter. “You don’t know what it’s like. I’m not like everyone else, Ella. I don’t… I don’t fit into your perfect little world.”

“Oh, come on,” she sighs, exasperated. “It’s not about fitting in, Vienna. You’ve skipped out on everything—our senior year, every party, every get-together, everything. All because you’re waiting for him. Do you even hear yourself?”

I do hear myself and if I was braver, I’d invite Ella over right now to meet Asmodeus and every night thereafter until he showed up so she could see. However, I’m also selfish and don’t want to share our brief moments with someone who doesn’t understand. My silence makes her frustrated, Ella adding onto her argument.

“Would you just read a fucking monster romance like the rest of us and get over it? I need you to stop living in that fantasy world of yours. It’s a dangerous, slippery slope. Your mom told me that you haven’t been taking your meds. She just wants to help. We all do.”

“Dangerous?” I scoff, my anger sparking. “What’s dangerous is you trying to tell me how to live my life. Just because I don’t want the same things as you, doesn’t mean I’m wrong.”

There’s a tense silence, and I hear her sigh again, but this time it’s softer, sadder. “Vi… I’m worried about you.”

“Well, don’t be,” I say coldly. “I don’t need you to worry. I need you to understand.” Before she can say anything else, I end the call, tossing my phone across the room before slipping back under the covers. Maybe I’m hallucinating but it’s such a perfect feeling. Maybe it’s all in my head but then I’d like to live there forever. Asmodeus makes me feel like I’m the only person in the world, the only one he sees, the only one important enough for him to break his routine.

My mind drifts back to the first time he visited me nearly six months ago. It was just past midnight, anxiety coursing through me as sleep evaded me. And that’s when I felt it, a presence—dark and seductive—filling the room. His voice was melodious as he spoke to me, like he’d known me for centuries, like he understood every corner of my soul, even the parts I tried to hide. I’d never felt so… seen.

The first few months, he was just an entity of darkness igniting a desire so fierce inside of me that I had to whip out my vibrator to soothe the need. Those dark eyes watched over me as I screamed through my orgasms, his soft words pushing me over the edge. And then he began to solidify, to become more of the darkness. His demonic form appeared for mere seconds before he shifted into a man, Asmodeus lying beside me as long as he could keep that form.

His hands and lips wandered, driving me up the wall as he whispered secrets into my ear about the history of the world—things that no one else could possibly know.

Asmodeus reminded me of a soldier, wide shoulders and thick muscles traveling down the length of his body. Long black hair crowded around his neck, his eyes the same color as the void I found so comfortable.

And then came the day last month when he gave me all of himself as I shattered on his cock, an experience I’ll never forget. Asmodeus always touches with such passion and care but it was that night that I truly fell in love with a demon. I haven’t been able to think of anyone other than him since. All that matters is him and his presence beside me.

I close my eyes, imagining Asmodeus gathering me up in his arms against his chest as he does most nights. “Where are you?” I whisper into the darkness again. A small whimper falls from my lips as nothing answers, the emptiness of the room weighing down on me. A flicker of fear at the idea that maybe he is just a figment of my imagination runs through me.

Still, I wait patiently for my lover, sleep trying to drag me under.

“Vienna,” he murmurs, his voice wrapping around me like silk. “You’re meant for so much more than this. Trust me.”

“I do,” I whisper back, reaching out to feel him and only being consumed by the darkness. Sometimes he only visits me like this, in his original form but I’m grateful for at least this.