Sinful Obsession

8. 8 – Vienna

8 – Vienna

T he set of white scrubs tossed on my bed are just as ugly as the blue ones that the orderlies were stuffed in. The only difference is that against the drab gray and stone of this building, every last piece of dirt can be seen on this scratchy fabric. I’m given a few minutes to change with no privacy—despite the attached bathroom, one of the orderlies swiping the phone from my back jean pocket. It’s a wonder they didn’t search me at the entrance but this is just as well.

They even provide the most god-awful undergarments, thin pieces of cloth that do absolutely nothing to protect my skin. The scrubs are cold, offering no comfort or warmth, topped off with a plastic pair of Crocs that upon testing squeak against the floor. I already feel like I’ve been stripped of my dignity, but this... these clothes are the final insult.

The last few hours have been filled with questions and constant prying, the orderlies in and out of my room trying to understand why I believe Asmodeus is real. I tried to explain at first but the look of disgust on her face caused me to clam up. It became a little too obvious that they weren’t here to help me. All that bullshit in the pamphlets about healing can’t possibly be true if this is what I’m having to deal with.

By the time the fifth orderly slips in, I can’t help but laugh. The constant barrage of new faces and questions is supposed to break me, to confuse me, to overwhelm me. They’ve gone from questions to insisting that my delusions aren’t real, that I’m compensating for something. I just nod and perch myself on the edge of my bed, waiting for the chaos to end.

Asmodeus is real, I remind myself. I feel closer to him here, more than I ever have outside these walls. There’s a weight in the air, a strange energy that makes my skin prickle and my heart race. And in my head, I hear him, his voice sliding through my mind in a way that only he can, filling the empty spaces they’re trying to create within me.

“Be strong, love. This place cannot touch you.”

His words ground me in this cold, unfamiliar room as the murmur of orderlies stops, soft footsteps bringing me back to reality. The doctor from before—Michael—stands before me with a single metal tray, a small smile on his face as he places it beside the bed on the nightstand. “I understand that you might be confused and overwhelmed, Vienna but trust that this is the best place for you.”

“Sure,” I push out, glancing down at what is supposed to be dinner. I bite back the question I want to ask, ‘why is everything gray again’ and just continue staring at it. It smells like meatloaf but the only thing I can make out in the mess is the corn and I still have questions. Not wanting to be completely rude, I poke around the food with the provided fork, instantly hating the way everything squishes. If Michael forces me to eat that shit, I might puke.

A soft laugh comes from him, a sound that should be comforting but I find rather annoying. In fact, this close to him, my body starts to heat, my stomach rolling as I swallow the bile at the back of my throat. He crouches down in front of me, holding out a small cup of water and then two pills. “This should help with the hallucinations, Vienna. We can’t help you if you don’t help yourself first.”

Feeding me random pills doesn’t sound like help but no one asked me. There’s no fucking way Michael or any of the orderlies have had enough time to diagnose me or even write up a fake profile with a diagnosis. Or maybe they have and I’m just too trusting that a few weeks from now, I’ll be dropped off on my front steps so that I can curse out my parents.

“What are you feeding me?”

“Something that will help you relax here. Everyone is a little out of sorts when they first arrive which is why we keep them isolated for a little bit. Vienna, stalling isn’t going to help you.”

“Why does that sound like a threat? I just asked what you want to put in my body. If it’s anything like the slop you offered, I can’t trust those pills.”

He rolls his eyes, a patronizing smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Right. Of course. Well, you’re going to take them anyway.” He crosses his arms, that smug look plastered on his face, daring me to argue. I can keep asking but Michael won’t explain anything more than he has to. The worst part is that I already inspected the surrounding area and there’s no easy way out. All of the windows are barred and there’s several locks on every door.

Even if I made a run for it, I wouldn’t know which direction to head. Whoever built this fucking place essentially created a labyrinth and while I would usually be in awe, I’m currently pissed off that I’m stuck here.

Michael patiently waits as I take the pills and place them on my tongue before washing them back with water. I give him a wonderful view of my mouth, metal fillings and all, hoping that he’ll be satisfied with the way I expertly wiggle my tongue. He doesn’t seem amused but Asmodeus likes it.

“Very good, Vienna. I’ll leave you to your dinner. The medication works better on a full stomach.” He stands and moves to the door, patting the frame a few times before looking back. “Your obsession with your hallucination has been damaging to your relationships, to your life outside of here. Maybe it’s time to come back to reality, don’t you think?”

My first reaction is to once again state that Asmodeus is real but that line of thinking doesn’t seem to be working. That and the fact that I don’t trust Michael as far as I can throw him. “Sure,” I push out, hoping the conversation is over.

Unfortunately, Michael seems to need the last word. “We’ll see how long that confidence lasts, Vienna. Be careful that it doesn’t bite you in the ass.” He chuckles, shaking his head as I just glare at him. If he thinks I’m going to just give in, he has another thing coming because I don’t belong here. “You’ll be introduced to the rest of the staff and patients tomorrow morning at breakfast. There are very few rules here as we don’t believe that heavy bouts of restrictions do any good. Show up to meals, be present for roll call in the mornings. And don’t disrespect staff, aloud or otherwise.” He pauses, watching me with those cold, assessing eyes, like he’s daring me to protest. “Your parents are afraid for you, Vienna but they’d also rather you rot in here than deal with whatever darkness you think is real.”

Of course, they do, I mutter to myself. My mother has supposedly never liked me. Of course she would dump me into someone else’s pool the minute she could.

“Oh, and one more thing,” he adds, his voice dropping to a mocking whisper. “There’s no leaving here. No getting better, no magical healing process. This place is the end of the line. You’re free to roam, of course. But there’s nowhere to go.”

“What the fuck?”

Why the fuck did he say the quiet part aloud? In all the movies I’ve watched, they like to keep that part on the down low and wait for me to despair before telling me that I have no escape. Without a phone and only equipped with these scratchy scrubs, Michael just fucking told me that this is my new reality. That the freedom I’m given in here is the only freedom I’ll ever experience again.

Cold sweeps through me, shock running down my spine as I sit there, staring into the darkness. There’s no fucking way my parents actually just threw me away, is there?

The door creaks on its hinges and I look up to see that Michael left it open.

My hands clench into fists, rage and frustration burning in my chest. So, this is what my mother thinks I deserve? To be locked away, discarded like some kind of broken toy, all because I dared to believe in something she couldn’t understand?

If they think I’m just going to take this, they have another thing coming. Sure, my fight won’t get me far and I’ll end up drugged and out of my mind sooner rather than later but it won’t happen without a struggle. I slide from the bed and stomp into the bathroom, laughing at the reflection I catch in the mirror. The Vienna I knew was gullible. She believed in her friends and family. She thought that despite her moments with Asmodeus, they would still love her.

They would still want her.

Well, fuck that version of me.

A deviant smile spreads across my lips as I open my mouth and spit out the two pills I stuffed in the back of my mouth. I always thought it was funny that there was a little cavity just beside my wisdom teeth on the right side, a pocket of space that makes my cheeks a little lopsided. I’ve never been more grateful for that party trick in my life.

I crush the pills into the sink before washing the powder down the drain. The bitter aftertaste clings to my mouth, but I ignore it, a small spark of triumph lighting up in my chest. Asmodeus is still with me, his presence stronger than ever, his voice a quiet whisper in the back of my mind.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, his voice laced with approval, and a shiver of satisfaction runs through me. “They can’t keep us apart, Vienna. They can’t touch what we have.”

My gaze shifts to the open door, the faint glow of the hallway lights casting eerie shadows across the floor. Stepping into that hallway, though, is a different matter. The idea makes my stomach churn, a strange, unsettling feeling spreading through me. There’s something about the orderlies, the staff here, that feels… off. It’s not the comforting darkness of Asmodeus; it’s something colder, something rigid, uninviting.

But that won’t stop me. I need to find out why Asmodeus’ presence is so strong here, why this place feels like it’s tethered to something darker, something otherworldly. I need to understand, to unravel the mystery that’s woven through these walls.

My initial question was why my parents would throw me away, however, if there’s more than just Asmodeus, if there’s more than just the darkness that he boasts, it begs a completely different question.

What are they trying to hide?