Single And In Love With My Fake Boyfriend (Single Girls Club #1)

Chapter Thirty-One

Callie

I can’t sleep.

I must have been tossing and turning for two hours. Too many thoughts cloud my mind, thoughts I’d rather not think about. But they force themselves into my brain and refuse to leave. Like the fact that by tomorrow afternoon, I’ll be back in Spring Falls. Back to my old life.

The last day and a half kind of felt like a dream. An escape from reality. I didn’t have to deal with the stresses of life, and I certainly didn’t have to deal with Lincoln’s fans snapping photos of me and posting them online. And I certainly didn’t have to deal with the realization that in two weeks, Lincoln and I will no longer be a we . He will be a him and I will be a me.

I know these thoughts have been bothering me for a while now, but I was always able to push them away and focus on something else. But lying in bed like this, it’s hard to toss them away. How can I feel so attached to a person in such a short amount of time? The last time I felt this way was when I befriended Alex, Lizzie, and Emily in high school. But unlike Lincoln, my girls will always be in my life. I have no idea if Lincoln and I will even talk in a year’s time.

Sighing, I turn to my side. Am I pathetic for feeling this way? I know what I was getting into when I signed up to be Lincoln’s fake girlfriend. I knew there was a chance this would be hard because of my past feelings for him. I told my friends I’m not falling in love with him, but the truth is…maybe I am. Okay, that might be a bit extreme, but if the thought of not being with him makes my heart hurt, doesn’t that mean something?

“Ugh.”

Not wanting to think about this anymore, I get out of bed and make my way to the kitchen. Maybe some water will help. When I peer into the fridge for a bottle of water, leftovers from dinner catch my eye. My lips lift in a smile when I remember Lincoln and me cooking together. For two people who don’t cook, I think we did a pretty good job. It was nice doing a mundane task like cooking with him. It seems like he and I can have fun together no matter what we do.

Sighing, I grab a water bottle.

“You okay?”

With a yelp, I spin around and find Lincoln sitting at the table. Alone in the dark room. He also has a water bottle.

“Lincoln.” I grab hold of my racing heart. “You scared me. I didn’t know you were there.”

“Sorry. I think I dozed off sitting here.” He stretches and glances at the time. “2 AM. Last I checked the time, it was five to two. I must have dozed off for like three minutes.” He takes a sip of his drink. “Are you okay?”

Walking over to the table, I drop down on the chair next to his and uncap my bottle. “I can’t sleep.”

“Me either.”

Every part of me is bursting to ask him why he can’t sleep. Does it have anything to do with me? Is he also bummed that in only a few hours, we’ll be leaving the fantasy world we were living in for the past day and a half? I mentally reprimand myself. As if this has anything to do with me. I’m sure he obsesses over me as much as I obsess over him.

Note the sarcasm.

“Sorry you’re having trouble sleeping,” he says. “Can I do anything to make you more comfortable? I can adjust the temperature or maybe the bed isn’t comfortable?”

I shake my head. “The bed is very comfortable. This is more of an internal problem.”

“Ah. Gotchya. The same here. Internal problems.” He points to his head.

“It must be very stressful with football and everything,” I say, then take another swig of my water. “It’s hard to tell that you’re nervous. You always exude such confidence.”

“Thanks.” He keeps his eyes on the table as he plays with the bottle’s cap. “But my problems don’t have to do with my career.”

I wait for him to elaborate. Hope for him to elaborate. But he doesn’t. As much as I’m dying to know what lies in his mind and in his heart, it’s not my business. I’m not his real girlfriend after all.

We’re quiet for a few minutes, each of us taking sips of our drinks while being deep in thought. Then he says, “Do you usually have problems sleeping at night?”

I shake my head. “I’m usually up late reading. Sometimes I have to force myself to go to sleep while other times I pass out reading.”

“Oh. Can’t you do that now?”

I play with my water bottle. “I don’t think it’ll work this time.”

Because my thoughts have never been so consumed by another person before. Well, other than when I was a teenager. How weird is it that it’s the same person disrupting my sleep?

“That’s too bad,” he says. “Maybe read a boring book?”

That makes me smile. “A book has to really suck for me to find it boring. What about you? Do you ever have trouble sleeping?”

“Not really. Even when I’m stressing out about a hard game, I usually manage to get enough sleep. It’s more of a necessity thing. If I don’t get enough sleep, I won’t play well. And that could cost us the game.”

I nod. “I hear you. Maybe you could pretend you have a really hard game tomorrow and desperately need sleep.”

He laughs softly. “I don’t think I can trick my heart like that.”

Why did he say trick his heart? He just told me his brain is responsible for keeping him up.

He glances at the window. “At least the rain has stopped. Life should go back to normal tomorrow.”

I try not to sigh as I take another sip. That’s the problem .

We sit in silence again.

“Maybe soothing music will help?” I suggest.

He shrugs. “It can’t hurt. Let’s sit in the living room. I have a speaker there.”

He grabs his phone that’s resting on the table and leads me to the living room, where we sit side by side on the couch. Lincoln taps on his phone and then slow, soothing music fills the room.

“Pretty,” I say.

“My mom listens to this song whenever she feels down,” he tells me. “She says it always lifts her spirits.”

“It’s so pretty it might keep me up,” I say with a laugh.

“Or maybe it’ll have the magical effect of putting you to sleep?”

“As long as I don’t pass out on your couch again.”

“I wouldn’t mind if you did,” he says. “I’d just be glad that you were getting sleep. But, uh, I hope I won’t fall asleep and put my arms around you in my sleep,” he adds with an embarrassed laugh.

“That’s totally okay! I m-mean, I’d be okay with it as long as you were getting some sleep, too.”

Okay, things just got super awkward. Why did I say that? Sure, I admit that I wouldn’t mind waking up in his arms again, but that’s really a big no-no. For heaven’s sake, he’s not my real boyfriend.

Lincoln leans back on the couch and shuts his eyes. I watch him for a few minutes, trying to figure out what’s going on in that wonderful brain of his. I know it’s not right to read someone’s mind, but I wish I had telepathy. Just to see if there’s a chance he feels…

I shake my head. I’m being so pathetic.

His eyes snap open and focus on me. I’m startled for a second, but I can’t seem to pull my gaze away from his. He keeps his pasted on me. I don’t know how long we remain like this—it feels like hours. It’s like we’re once again in a trance.

Then the music stops. Lincoln blinks and sits up, reaching for his phone. But then another song starts to play. His brows furrow. “What? Oh, right. This is my mom’s playlist.”

He’s about to change the song, but I put my hand on his chest. “One second. This song…”

“What?”

“Why does it sound so familiar?” I muse.

He keeps quiet as I rack my brain, trying to pinpoint this song. And why, for some reason, it has significance to me.

Then I sit up sharply when the memory attacks my brain. “It was a song that played at my high school dance. Well, our high school dance.”

“Really? I don’t remember it.”

“I remember it well because…” My cheeks ignite.

“What?” he asks.

I shake my head. It’s too embarrassing.

He nods and turns his head away.

I keep my eyes on his profile, and despite being embarrassed about it, I want to tell him. I don’t know why. Because I want to share my heart with him?

“It was winter formal, sophomore year,” I say. “I remember I wore a dark blue dress. Sapphire. The same color as your eyes. I didn’t have a date for the dance. Neither did my friends. But I wanted so badly to dance with someone.” I tear my eyes away and stare at the spot before me. “I so wanted my dreams to come true. I…” I squeeze my eyes shut. “Every time a guy passed by, I would hope he would ask me to dance. But no one did. I wanted so desperately to know what it felt like to share such a special moment with someone.”

I won’t tell him that I hoped and dreamed that he would ask me. He was single and didn’t have a date for the dance, either. He danced the fast dances with his friends, which included many girls, but when it came to the slow dance—to this song—he stepped away and stood on the side.

I hoped he would notice me standing all alone a few feet from him. I yearned for him to walk over and hold out his hand. But he seemed content being alone at the wall. Although, he wasn’t alone for long, since kids always surrounded him. I wonder what would have happened if I had the courage to ask him to dance. Would he have said yes? The thought of him saying no was too much to bear.

Lincoln stands and holds out his hand. “Callie, would you do me the honor of dancing with me?”

I gape at his hand and then slowly bring my eyes to his face. His expression tells me he’s dead serious about this.

“I’d love to make sixteen-year-old Callie’s dream come true.”

I continue gaping at him. He has no idea what he’s saying. He doesn’t know he was part of the dream, too, and that if I accept, he really would be making my teen self’s dream come true.

We’re so not dressed for the occasion. I’m wearing another one of his T-shirts that reaches just above my knees and he’s wearing pajamas. But that doesn’t matter.

I raise a shaky hand and slowly, as though moving at a snail’s pace, bring my hand to his. It feels like forever until my skin touches his, but when it does, a chill runs down my spine. Gently, Lincoln hauls me to my feet and leads me to an empty area on the living room floor.

He put the song on repeat, so it starts over as he faces me with an intense look in his eyes. He takes a small step toward me, his hands raised, his eyes looking into mine. Questioning if I’m okay with this. I take a small step closer to him. Then he takes a few more until there are only a few inches between us. He places his hands on my waist, his touch as light as a feather. But it’s enough to engulf me in warmth and send my blood racing throughout my body.

Releasing a soft breath, I stretch my arms and lock them around his neck, causing myself to move even closer to him. Until our chests touch. I gaze into his mesmerizing sapphire eyes, getting lost in them like I did so often before. He seems to be sucked into my eyes as well. I feel his warm breath on my cheek and I’m sure he feels mine, too, because my breathing has gotten very heavy. As has his.

We sway to the beat of the music, our eyes never leaving each other’s. As much as I’ve gotten to know Lincoln over the past few weeks, there’s still so much I don’t know about him. But I see a lot in his eyes. His hopes and dreams. How he has such a big heart and wants to do good in the world and help people. How much he longs to be close to another person, to give her everything he has.

Like the previous times Lincoln and I were close, the room and the entire world seem to disappear. It’s just him and me, swaying to this beautiful music. I feel like I’m in a dream, like I fell into a fairytale world. Something as exquisite and lovely as this can’t exist anywhere in the real world.

Removing his hand from my waist, he lifts it to my cheek and softly strokes it. “Do you think your sixteen-year-old self would have been happy with this?”

My eyes flutter shut at his soft touch. “You have no idea.”

“I’m happy I’m making her dreams come true. I wish I could have done that for her all those years ago. Done that for you. I can’t believe I didn’t know you back then.”

“It was for the best,” I tell him. “We were in high school. It was a completely different world. And we were different people. It wouldn’t have meant the same as it means now.”

My cheeks flame at my words. This means a lot to me, but does it mean the same to him?

“You’re right,” he says. “It definitely wouldn’t have meant the same back then.” His hand moves to my hair, where he tangles his fingers in the strands. “Most guys at that age don’t know how to be romantic.”

“And guys at our age, too,” I say with an eye roll. “Spencer wouldn’t be caught dead dancing like this.”

His face changes. “He wouldn’t?”

“No way. Now that I think about it, I don’t know if that guy had a romantic bone in his body. Maybe he pretended in the beginning. But now I see him for who he truly is. I can’t believe I wore dirty glasses all that time.”

He presses his forehead to mine. “You deserve a super romantic guy. The most romantic guy on the planet.”

I scoff lightly. “Can you create him for me?”

“He exists,” he says softly. “Maybe closer than you think.”

I slowly move my eyes up to his.

“Callie,” he says as he brings his hand back to my cheek. “I know you said you’re a refugee from the rain, but our time together has been the best time in my whole life. I loved getting to know you even better than I did. You’re one of the most amazing and beautiful people I’ve ever met. It may be lame for me to say this, but you’ve made such an impact on me. I’m thankful that you’re in my life. You knocking into me and us falling over each other in public was the best thing to have happened to me.”

My eyes search his, learning that every word that left his mouth is genuine. He’s not just messing with me or stringing me along. He means every single word.

I stand on my tiptoes and press my lips to his. He doesn’t seem shocked or surprised at all. He welcomes me as though he’s been waiting for this for centuries. His fingers sweep across the back of my neck as his lips move over mine desperately and passionately, like I’m the oxygen he needs to breathe. I kiss him just as fervently, as if he’s the oxygen I desperately need, too. My hands tangle in his hair, marveling at how soft it feels.

True we kissed before, but that was because we were forced. This kiss right now? This is our decision. There are no people or cameras. It’s just Lincoln and Callie, once again in our own special world. Like the last time, he awakens something inside me, though this is much more intense than before. I’m warm and numb all over, not sure my legs could keep me up. I think Lincoln realizes this because he gently backs me to the wall, his lips never once leaving mine.

My hands rest on his strong, muscular chest as his settle back on my waist, clutching me like he never wants to let me go. I don’t want to let go of him, either. I never want to let him go.

But eventually, our lips break away from each other’s. My eyes flutter open and I find him staring at me with deep, intense emotions. Reality crashes over me like a tidal wave. Lincoln and I, fake boyfriend and girlfriend, have just shared the most passionate and out-of-this-world kiss. That’s not something a fake couple is supposed to do. And I initiated the whole thing.

“Sorry, I…” I step back. “I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s okay—”

I shake my head. “I’m sure you’ll be able to get some sleep now,” I mutter. “Good night.”

I spin around and practically flee to my room. Diving under my blanket, I cover my face. Oh, gosh. Why did I initiate the kiss? Because he was being so sweet and kind to me. He wanted to make me feel better by reenacting my sophomore dance. But that didn’t include sharing a world-shattering kiss.

Maybe it’s best I’m going home tomorrow. Our time together wasn’t real. It was fake. I can’t continue living in a fake world just because it makes me happy. The truth is that my life is still the same as it was before I met Lincoln. I was still cheated on by my ex-boyfriend. I’m still single. Who knows if there’s anyone out there for me? Pretending with Lincoln won’t make reality disappear. Maybe he also wanted to live in a fantasy world because he’s lonely, but it’s not healthy for either of us. This is a business contract that will soon end. Emotions and feelings were never part of the deal.

I turn to my side and force my eyes shut. But all I see before me is his pretty, intense, sapphire eyes as they gazed into mine. All I feel are his warm lips on mine as he kissed me like I was the most important person in his world. Tingles and chills continue to travel all throughout my body.

I seriously doubt I’ll get an ounce of sleep now.