Six Inches Deep in Mud

Chapter 8

“Y ou look lovely, Jane!”

“So do you, Lizzy. Staying at Netherfield suits you.”

Jane is joking; she knows nothing about what has really happened during my stay, and I am not willing to reveal anything to her yet. On careful reflection, there is nothing to be revealed.

We go downstairs together, and Mr Bingley is waiting for us at the foot of the stairs. He immediately offers his arm to Jane and helps her to sit in a chair near the fire, asking her whether she is warm enough, offering to fetch her another shawl, and when she declares she feels perfectly well, he pulls up a chair and sits near her. It is amusing that he entirely overlooks me, but I do not mind at all. His attention is in exactly the right place.

I sit too, and after a few minutes, the Hursts and Miss Bingley enter, then Mr Darcy.

“My dear Jane, you look beautiful!” Miss Bingley says, then she and Mrs Hurst engage my sister in conversation. They seem friendly, but I know they are not. I know they look forward to seeing both of us leave.

During dinner, Mr Darcy is as talkative as usual, and by that I mean hardly at all. He glances at me from time to time, and I wonder whether he enjoyed his walk with the two ladies. He does not look enchanted in the slightest.

“You must be so happy to finally be returning home,” Miss Bingley says. “I know I am looking forward to returning home to London.”

“You may return to London whenever you please, Caroline,” Mr Bingley interjects. “But to me, Netherfield is home now. That is why I rented the estate.”

“But Charles, did you not say you have to return to London soon?”

I see Jane pale slightly, but Mr Bingley replies lightly, “I must go to London for a week or so, probably after the ball. I have some matters of business that can be easily concluded in a few days. Then I shall return and remain at Netherfield for the winter. Miss Bennet, would November 26 th be convenient for the ball, do you think?” His sisters exchange displeased glances.

“Yes…if you wish, sir,” Jane answers, blushing.

“Excellent! I shall write my invitations. Darcy, you will stay for the ball, I hope?”

“Yes, of course.”

“I heard you say you were eager to see your sister soon,” Miss Bingley tries again. She seems determined to return to London and take both her brother and his friend with her. I can only hope her plan will fail, for Jane’s sake.

“I am. I am always eager to see Georgiana.”

“Yes, but I thought you wished to be in London sooner. In truth, I look forward to seeing Georgiana too. She is the most accomplished young woman I have ever met. I know Charles admires her too. He often speaks of her most highly.”

That was a mischievous attack on my dear Jane; her smile falters, and she looks distressed. I become angry and prepare to intervene.

“Of course I speak highly of Miss Darcy,” Bingley answers. “One must not be in his right mind to say a bad word about her. But I am sure Miss Darcy does not miss any of us. In truth, there are times when I feel we are rather trying and tiresome to her.”

Mr Bingley sounds genuine, unaware of the effect of his words. Mr Darcy hides his smile behind his glass. Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst exchange appalled glances.

“You speak nonsense, Charles! Georgiana is my dearest friend! I am sure she misses us as much as we miss her!”

Miss Bingley’s desperate tone is both irritating and amusing. She looks at Mr Darcy, probably waiting for his assurance, but his attention is firmly on his plate. There is no better proof that Mr Bingley’s assumption is correct. Also, it shows that, despite Miss Bingley’s insinuation, there is no particular friendship between Mr Bingley and Miss Darcy.

We eat in silence for a little while, then Miss Bingley speaks again.

“Will you spend Christmas in town, Mr Darcy?”

He hesitates briefly, then replies, “My plans are not settled yet. I have only decided that I shall stay at Netherfield till the ball. The rest of the year is uncertain.”

Mr Darcy’s answers are as I expect. I know he will leave Hertfordshire soon, and yet I feel a tightness in my chest.

“If I had a house like Pemberley, I would never leave it!” Miss Bingley continues.

“In that, we are in agreement, Miss Bingley,” Mr Darcy replies. “I would never leave Pemberley if it were my choice only. I always feel I do not spend enough time there.”

“Perhaps that will change once you marry, Mr Darcy, if your wife loves Pemberley as much as you do,” Mrs Hurst interjects.

Mr Darcy hesitates again, then I believe — but I am not sure! — he casts a glance at me, then looks back at Mrs Hurst, ready to reply. Mr Bingley does so first, though.

“I cannot imagine anyone not liking Pemberley. It is not just a fine property but one where nature and humanity are in perfect balance. I have never seen a house better situated, nor a park better managed.”

“Thank you, Bingley,” Mr Darcy replies.

“Indeed, we have been fortunate to spend three summers in a row at Pemberley,” Miss Bingley says. “And I look forward to next summer.”

“Unless Darcy marries by next summer and his wife does not favour our company,” Bingley says, and his sister’s face changes colour. “But I do not see Darcy marrying soon. In fact, I wonder whether I have ever seen Darcy show any admiration for anyone. He is simply too fastidious.”

At that, Miss Bingley’s face turns crimson. She looks at Mr Darcy, then at me, and I know quite clearly what is in her mind. Mr Darcy looks uncomfortable too, but he keeps his smile.

“I am not fastidious, only more restrained, Bingley. You and I are very different people.”

“Indeed we are, Darcy. I often wonder why you accepted me as your friend. You are older, cleverer, better connected, of higher rank, and richer than me beyond comparison. I have very little to offer you and certainly nothing that you do not already own, including loyalty and entertainment.”

“I am sure Mr Darcy can see your excellent character and honest kind heart, Mr Bingley,” Jane suddenly interjects, and all eyes turn to her. “Those are qualities that everyone looks for in a friend but very rarely finds.”

I am surprised by my dear Jane’s intervention. Once she has finished, I can see her emotions in the trace of redness on her throat and the slight trembling of her fingers on her glass.

“Miss Bennet,” Mr Darcy says, “you expressed my sentiments most accurately. Bingley is very modest, but he is an excellent man, one of the best of my acquaintance.” He smiles at Jane, and she replies with a timid smile of her own. I have no reason to doubt Mr Darcy’s reply, nor his obvious intention to put Jane at ease.

There are so many small — yet significant — details that I discover about Mr Darcy whenever we are in company that it is no wonder my feelings for him are so restless and undecided. I know my first ill impression of him is long gone; I am not brave enough or calm enough to reflect more on the subject, and perhaps I should not do it at all, considering he will leave Hertfordshire soon in any case.

After dinner, Mr Bingley helps Jane move to an armchair close to the fire. She is perfectly capable of walking by herself, but his care is touching, and he seems to enjoy it as much as Jane does.

The Bingley sisters and Mr Hurst try to tempt the rest of us with a game of cards, but we all decline. Half an hour later, Jane thanks everyone and retires for the night. I join her, despite my secret desire to stay longer. There might be only one reason for my lingering, and I fight against it.

“Lizzy,” Jane says once we are in our chamber, “Caroline speaks so much of Miss Darcy…and Mr Bingley declared he admires her…I wonder…”

“My dear Jane, I hope you are not so silly as to wonder whom Mr Bingley admires more and in what way. I am sure he admires Miss Darcy — and deservedly so, from what I have heard. But that sort of admiration is nothing like his behaviour towards you.”

Jane still looks unsure, so I say, now laughing, “Mr Bingley mentioned that they are probably annoying to Miss Darcy, and Mr Darcy did not attempt to deny it. I am sure I would like Miss Darcy very much since we seem to be equally vexed by Miss Bingley and Mrs Hurst.”

“Lizzy, I am grateful to them. They have been very kind and caring towards me. I am sure they want nothing more than their brother’s happiness.”

“My dear, one day I told Mr Darcy that they had been very kind to you. And he replied that Mr Bingley deserves all the credit for how well you have been cared for.”

“Oh… Mr Darcy seems a great friend to Mr Bingley. But Lizzy, when did you have such a conversation with him?”

Now I am sure my cheeks are red.

“We met a few times around the house…and in the library.”

“I hope you did not argue with him, Lizzy. I know you were upset with him, but I am sure he is not such an unpleasant sort of man as we were so quick to believe.”

“You must not worry, Jane. I am no longer upset with Mr Darcy. Now let us sleep. You must be tired.”

Jane is tired indeed, and she falls asleep rather quickly. But I have no such luck. The thought that I must return to Longbourn the next day is unsettling. All my nights at Netherfield have been agitated — for one reason or another — and I have hardly been able to sleep. Now I feel tired, but sleep is nowhere to be found. I keep thinking of Mr Darcy. We have been in company for only a few days, and he has stirred more feelings in me than any other man.

My opinion from the day I arrived and happened upon him — with my petticoat six inches deep in mud, which brought about his sarcastic smile and critical eye — to the present is utterly changed. In fact, it is quite the opposite, and I admit that to myself with a sense of panic and a nervousness that I cannot control.

***

I am not sure when I fall asleep, but it is morning and full daylight when I wake up rested and in relatively good spirits.

We prepare for breakfast, and a maid helps to pack our small trunk so we can return home as soon as Mr Bingley can provide us with his carriage.

This time, I meet Mr Darcy — who is in the dining room alone with Mr Bingley — with more calmness, and I enjoy his friendly greeting.

“Caroline, Louisa, and Hurst will join us soon,” Mr Bingley says.

“We are in no hurry, sir,” Jane answers. They are again sitting next to each other at the table.

“Mr Bingley,” I say, “Mr Darcy recommended a book to me yesterday. I find it delightful but have had no time to finish it. Would you mind if I kept it for a few more days?”

“Miss Elizabeth, you may keep any book — or all of them — for as many days as you want. And you may come and take others once you have finished them,” Mr Bingley offers with excessive graciousness, causing me to laugh.

“Thank you, sir.”

“In fact, Miss Elizabeth,” Mr Darcy says, “that book is mine. I purchased it not long before we came to Netherfield. It was first published less than a year before, but this edition containing engravings just came off the press.”

“Oh…”

“I recommended it because I assumed you would enjoy it.”

“I am enjoying it, sir, very much.”

“Then please keep it as long as you need. I have already read it and would like to hear your opinion of it once you have finished.”

His voice is soft, and the smile on his lips has gained some more warmth, which gives me in turns waves of heat and chills down my spine. I am definitely a ridiculous woman, with my ridiculous, strange impulses.

“You were right to choose it, then, Mr Darcy. I do like it very much. It would be interesting to share opinions on it. I should complete it in a few days.”

“There is no rush,” he says. I am enjoying the book as much as the author’s previous work, but I did not know it was so new. That he can guess my tastes in reading material is pleasant and disturbing.

I look at him, and our gazes lock for longer than they have previously.

“Mr Bingley, I hope we are not abusing your kindness by asking for your carriage,” Jane says.

“No, not at all. The carriage will be ready whenever you are.”

“Thank you, sir.”

“I wonder,” Mr Bingley asks suddenly. “Would you mind if we accompanied you to Longbourn? We have some business in Meryton, and we could travel on there after seeing you safely returned. But if you prefer to be alone, my coachman will take you home and then return for us.”

“Oh no,” Jane answers hastily. “Of course we do not mind. It sounds like an excellent plan. But only if you are certain we are not disrupting your day?” My sister is clearly pleased, and Mr Bingley even more so.

“Of course not! Then it is settled. In fact, it was Darcy’s idea. He suggested I seek your approval.”

I look at Mr Darcy again, surprised. Did he suggest it? Of course, it is nothing extraordinary, only a brief carriage ride. Then why do I feel nervous?

“Since you approve of it,” Mr Bingley continues, “we should stop and greet your parents for a few minutes.”

Jane now looks overjoyed, while I am still agitated; even more so when I hear Mr Darcy say, “I have not had the pleasure of being introduced to Mr Bennet yet, nor of visiting Longbourn. This will be a good opportunity, if you do not think it would be an intrusion that will displease your parents.”

He is mostly addressing me, and I need a moment to find the words to reply.

“No…I am sure it would be no intrusion.” But I am not even sure that is the truth. Such a visit might not displease Mama and Papa, but it will certainly astonish them.

I do not remember much of the breakfast or when Mr Bingley’s family joined us at last, but now it is around noon, and we are in the carriage, comfortably situated, with Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley sitting on the opposite bench and Miss Bingley staring from one of the windows on the first floor of the manor.

I cannot guess Mr Darcy’s thoughts, but I am quite certain what is in Caroline Bingley’s mind — and it is not pleasant.