Slay Alive

Chapter 2

two

“Your crown is slipping, Queen,” my roommate Donnie tells me after I manage to kick open our front door and nearly face plant in front of him and his boyfriend Gio while they cuddle on the couch. They’re cute together. Engaged and in love, and mercifully letting me grow old with them.

I blink at them in confusion. “What?”

Gio points at my head. “Your crown,” he says and then tilts his head to the side to look me up and down. “Why do your shoes smell like shit?”

“It’s puke, not shit.”

“Is that why you’re holding a cocktail glass?” Donnie asks. I look down at the pink glass I’m still holding. I didn’t even realize I’d brought it with me from the bar.

“Oops,” I laugh. “I didn’t mean to bring this. My bad.”

“Bonnie, what happened with Preston?” Donnie asks, immediately looking murderous. He’s protective.

“I love you but I can’t deal right now. Preston broke up with me.” I kick off my puke shoes and march resolutely towards my room. “I’m going to bed.”

“He what ?” Gio yells and vaults over the couch to follow behind me.

“I’m going to rip his head off and shit down his throat,” Donnie declares like a true friend. I’m very lucky to have such good friends. First Rhia and now my beloved Donnie and Gio. How can one girl be this lucky?

“Make sure it’s a good one,” I tell Donnie.

Gio puts a hand on my shoulder to steady me after I bounce off the hallway wall and into my room like a pinball. There’s nothing else I want in the world but to get in bed, turn on my console and play my favorite game Fangs Are Forever. That’s the only place I’ll find a love like Rhia talked about. It’s the only place I’ve ever felt like it was possible. Sad, I know. For me, true love only exists in my dating simulator because what else is the game supposed to do but fall in love with me?

It’s programmed to give me a happily-ever-after. The thought should depress me but it comforts me. Fangs Are Forever has been my comfort game since high school. It doesn’t matter that it’s been nearly a decade. I keep coming back for more when I’m stressed.

And tonight?

Stressed doesn't even begin to describe how I feel. I’m ready to lose myself in the game with the last few hours of my buzz before the hell of a hangover I’m about to be hit with arrives. Six vampire and vampire hunter boyfriends just for me.

All for me.

I take a deep breath and it’s easy to hear the soft violin music that comes with starting the game up. I’ve turned it on a million times and can see the red and white banner that falls into place with falling rose petals blowing across the screen while the START option glows, waiting for me to select it to choose my next programmed happily-ever-after. One tap and I’ll have my pick of the bunch. No matter how many times I play, it never gets old. How could it? Will it be stoic Lunar Viel Clan Leader Lucien Nightshade or maybe this time I’ll go with the scrappy vampire hunter Adrian Darkwood? I always have liked Darkwood’s storyline progression because of how funny he is. If there was anytime I could use a laugh it’s now…

“Bonnie-bear are you listening to me?” Gio’s voice brings me back to Earth. “What do you mean he broke up with you ? Tonight was THE big night. You’re supposed to come marching back in here with a rock on your finger, not ruined shoes,” Gio says gently.

I sniffle and nod as tears fill my eyes. “I know, I-I’m sorry. I let you down, Gio.”

Gio hugs me tight and lifts me off the floor. “Hey, you got nothing to be sorry for. He’s a dick, Bonnie-bear.”

I start to cry and hug Gio tight. “I know but he was my dick. Now I have no dick! I’m dickless. My dick is going to Boston because I’m not serious enough for a senior partner at a law firm!” I wail.

“Jesus,” Gio mutters and carries me into the bathroom. I hold onto him and cry while he gets me a pair of flannel pajamas and turns on the shower for me.

“I’m gonna put his head right through a brick wall. I’m going to find that sonofabitch!” Donnie yells from the living room and Gio groans.

“Donnie, you better not!”

“Right through the wall!” Donnie yells back. He used to wrestle in college. He’ll do it and I cherish his murderous spirit.

“What’s going on?” I whisper to Gio. The light in the bathroom is too bright and I bury my head in my hands while he sits me on the toilet.

“Donnie’s going to do something stupid. I have to go stop him. Can you get into the shower, Bonnie-bear?”

I nod and swipe at my tears. My hands come away with smudged mascara on them. “Y-yeah.”

“Okay, I’ll be back to tuck you in.” Gio rises to leave me in the bathroom but I catch his hand and stop him.

“Can you get my game ready for me?” I ask him.

He looks confused when I say that. “Game?”

“Fangs Are Forever,” I tell him. I know it doesn't make sense but the only thing I can think about is playing my game. I’m sober enough to know that my request is weird but it is what it is. Gio opens his mouth to speak, probably to tell me I should just go to bed, but we both hear the front door slam shut and we know Donnie is on the move. Preston’s ass is grass.

Gio nods. “I-I, yeah, I’ll get it ready.” He steps back to run after Donnie but I make the most of my drunk strength and catch his arm and pull him back to me.

“Do you promise?” I ask. “It’s important,” I tell him, because that Gio will understand. He understood when I told him I had to drop out during sophomore year to pursue jewelry making. He was there when I traveled in Italy for a summer to study metalworking and he was there when Preston and I almost broke up when I chose to go to Paris for an apprenticeship. He was there when I had my first showcase. Gio was there when I made it into the local paper and then landed my first high end client.

He’s always been there. Gio’s not just a good friend. He’s a best friend. It might just be a game but right now I need it and he gets that.

Gio ruffles my hair and kisses my forehead. “I promise. I swear. Now wash up, because you smell like that one time we lost Donnie in Vegas, Bonnie-bear.” Gio runs out of the bathroom and after Donnie.

I take a shower and somehow keep my tiara on. I don’t realize I’ve kept it on until it’s too late because I’m already toweling off and by that time I just go with it because it’s a vibe. I get into my flannel pajamas and when I open the bathroom door the apartment is silent and still. The soft LED lights in my room are set to purple and there’s a glass of water and a couple of aspirin on my bedside table along with the pink cocktail glass I wandered back from the Prickly Possum with. Seeing it makes me remember the night and I think of Rhia.

“It’s for love,” she says softly. “True love.”

“I hope she has a beautiful wedding,” I murmur because it’s true. I do. She was the fairy godmother I needed tonight even if I threw up on my shoes. C’est la vie and all that. I shuffle towards my bed to see Gio has turned down my bed covers for me. When I climb into bed it’s with a happy sigh because the most important element is playing softly on the screen across from my bed.

Fangs Are Forever.

Familiar soft violin strains fill the room and excitement rushes over me the same way it did a decade ago when I first loaded up the game. I didn’t know what to expect then but now I do. Fangs Are Forever isn’t just a Vampire Romance Simulator, it’s THE simulator. Fangs Are Forever has been that girl since day one. There’s nothing else like it. The world is open play, the lore ever evolving and the characters are never quite the same, not even with as many playthroughs as I’ve done does everything stay exactly the same due to the constant updates and add-ons that have been created throughout the years. I could play the game for another ten years and still not unlock all the possibilities available with it.

I normally play as a vampire but tonight things feel different. “I’m going rogue,” I say as I pick up the controller with a smile, select the option for loading a new game and hit START.

SELECT CHARACTER comes up on the screen and I don’t hesitate to choose the Vampire Hunter classification before I tap in my name.

BONNIE.

I stare at my name on the screen. I don’t use my real name, not ever when I play. Why would I when it’s easier to choose a name like Selene or Nyx. Names that feel stronger and more dramatic than mine. But tonight it feels right to just be Bonnie. I sink down into my pillows and yawn as I move onto the love interest selection screen.

“Choices, choices, choices…” I mutter as I look over the list.

VAMPIRES

LUCIEN NIGHTSHADE “THE ETERNAL SHADOW”

HOUSE OF LUNAR VIEL LEADER

Enigmatic Rogue

DANTE SHADOWFANG “THE CURSED LORD”

HOUSE OF NOCTURNE LEADER

Mysterious Guardian

CADE GRAVES “THE DEFIANT IMMORTAL”

NIGHTSTALKER

Wandering Rebel

VAMPIRE HUNTERS

ADRIAN DARKWOOD

NIGHTWARDEN LEADER

Jovial Hero

Gabriel VON HELSING

LORE HISTORIAN

Charming Aristocratic

RILEY MOONLIGHT

CRIMSON BLADE ENFORCER

Brooding Watchman

I normally go for Adrian when I need a laugh but I gravitate towards the vampire choices the other 89.9 percent of the time. Lucien is the easy choice out of the three if I’m going to make that play. Lucien is easy to romance and affectionate to the core.

A mysterious vampire with a past few know and is devoted to those they deem worthy. Known for their daring heists and drive to lead their clan into the upper echelons of vampiric society.

Personality- Flirtatious, carefree, and exudes charm. Mysterious nature draws in others and leaves them guessing as to where his affections truly lie. Drawn to those that can provide connection.

The connection is so easy with Lucien. “I need easy,” I mutter but still I scroll away from him and back to the character selections. If I don’t go with Lucien that leaves Dante and Cade. I make a face thinking about Cade. Dude’s a dick and my least favorite vampire relationship to play through but I’ve done it because, of course, I have. Cade’s difficulty level is set too high for a casual play through, nevermind the fact that when I play as a Vampire Hunter he always kills me. I’ve never made it past the halfway point marked by the Eclipse of the Eternal Night Masquerade event. The only time I managed it as a vampire hunter, he stabbed me through the heart during a waltz I accepted because I was feeling cocky.

There’s no bones about it. Cade Graves is the Vampire Hunter destroyer.

The game should call him the Vampire Hunter Annihilator . “Wandering Rebel, my ass,” I mutter as I look his character description over.

Never was there a more defiant vampire determined to go their own way. Once a member of a noble family but recently fallen from grace due to his disillusionment with vampiric society. Known for their refusal to compromise and devotion to doling out vigilante justice. Intense nature lures in those searching for excitement and freedom. Personality- Intense, sarcastic, and highly artistic. Drawn to those willing to challenge them.

“Fuck that vigilante justice noise. I want love.” I click out of Cade’s description and don’t bother to even look over Dante’s character description. He’s dependable but I know what I want. I head straight for Lucien and lock him in as my choice. I’m absolutely not looking to get murdered tonight.

START GAME appears on my screen. I take in a deep breath and let it out slowly before I do it again. My shoulders lower and after a nightmare of a day, I relax and start my game.