Slay Alive

Chapter 9

nine

We arrive at a tavern and I want to shriek the second I see the painted possum on the sign above the door. I am living in a nightmare.

“Do not tell me Rhiannon is in there.”

“Of course she is. She owns the Prickly Possum.”

“Of course it’s called the Prickly Possum.” I take in a calming breath and let it out before I repeat the breathwork. It takes about five more deep breaths before I give Tamsin a nod. “All right, let’s go in. I’m ready.”

Tamsin eyeballs me. “Are you sure? You kinda look like you were about to get sick everywhere.”

“Look, if I get sick, I want to get sick where it’s Rhiannon’s problem. Take me to the witch.”

And that’s how I get inside the Prickly Possum, so angry that I might puke and right on Tamsin’s heels, scanning the tavern for that treacherous witch. I’m going to pull every hair out of her head when I get my hands on her.

In the end I don’t have to look that hard at all, on account of it taking two seconds for Rhia to find me.

“Ladies! Welcome!” She trills from behind the bar as she cleans a sparkling glass tankard. She’s wearing a fancy pink and white dress with flowing sleeves and of all things, a flower crown braided into her hair. The blooms are pink and white to match her dress. She looks pretty and perfect, just the way I remember her. Even the towel she tosses over her shoulder is embroidered with flowers. Come to think of it, when I look around, the tavern is not at all like the dive bar I met her in.

The place is cottage core to the max.

Lacy curtains flutter in the windows and the faint scent of baking bread hangs in the air. Above our heads herbs and dried flowers hang from the ceiling and paintings and photographs line the walls in colorful frames. The stone floor is covered with an assortment of thick woven rugs in shades of green and blue. I even spy a pink rug or two in the mix. Well made wooden tables and chairs are arranged neatly in rows with pastel colored tablecloths, I think there’s even doilies too, and what’s a cottage core dream without a hearth? Of course, a hearth is lit and burning bright despite it being in the middle of the day. A woman perched on a stool strums a guitar and smiles brightly at us when we enter.

Rhia rests both elbows on the bar and leans forward. “How goes it, Bonnie?” she asks me.

“You! “ I point a finger at Rhia. “You did this to me!”

“No, you did this to yourself, Duskweaver.”

“That’s not my last name.”

“It is right now, bestie.”

I don’t care that all of this is a figment of my fever dream. Rhia is gonna get an earful. I stomp over to the bar with Tamsin in tow. “You wanna explain what the hell happened? How did I get here? I know you had something to do with it, Rhia.”

“Don’t you start with me” Rhia sighs and looks up at the ceiling. “Look, when I offered you a chance at love, I thought it was going to be of the self-love variety, not this. ” She gestures around the tavern for emphasis.

“Yeah, well…” I swallow hard and shrug. “How was I supposed to know what you meant? And I’ll have you know I love myself plenty.”

Rhia inclines her head and raises an eyebrow in challenge. “You sure about that, Bonnie?”

I throw my hands up in the air. “Yes, I am sure, Rhiannon .” I say her name like an insult and then add, “Why didn’t you tell me you were a witch? I thought you were just being nice to me. I needed a friend that night!”

Rhia frowns and looks down at the bar. “I am your friend, okay? I know this doesn’t make any sense to you but everything that’s happening is for the best, Bonnie. This isn’t in your head. I really did offer you love when I gave you that potion. How was I supposed to know you were going to teleport yourself into a game? That’s not something a witch can prepare for. ”

I shake my head. “You drugged me and now I’m dreaming this. This is not real. It can’t be. ”

“But it is.” Rhia rounds the bar and comes to me. “It is, Bonnie. Deep down you know it. The world here feels too real, doesn’t it? This is all happening because it’s where you go when you need love. This world, this place, these people? They’re part of your story.”

What she’s saying feels true. I’ve felt it here and there in the little slips I’ve had today, in the way that last night was the most alive I’ve ever felt. There’s no denying the thrill I got from Cade’s touch is more than anything I ever felt with Preston. I thought we were going to get married and I never felt that spark that had me lusting after a murderous vampire like I did today.

“I want to go home,” I say the words like I mean them. “I want to wake up, Rhia.” Those are easier to say because it’s the truth. I do want to wake up. Gio is probably shitting himself right now because he can't get me up.

“I have a life. I can’t just stay here.”

“Too bad, hunter. You’re here until you achieve the objective.”

“Which is?”

Rhia pulls at her hair and stomps her foot. “ Love , Bonnie. The assignment was love. What is not getting through that beautiful head of yours? I brought you here, which I need you to know was not easy. I had to strike a deal with a very unhappy recruit to get you a place. Do you know what ingredients and preparation go into a timeline swap? And I had one night to pull it off, but I did it because I’m a witch that cares. I care a lot, Bonnie. So what I need you to do right now is pull it the fuck together and find love. ”

“You swapped me with someone?”

“Yes, the real Duskweaver. She wanted out. Practically jumped at the chance to go live in your world.”

My mouth drops open. “ You gave my life to someone else when I’m not even done with it ?!”

“To get you this one, yeah, I did!”

“What in the seven hells is going on here?” Tamsin interrupts.

I put a hand out on the bar to steady myself. Suddenly, I feel light-headed. This can’t be real. It can’t be. “Just me having a menty b.”

Tamsin blinks. “A what?”

“Nothing. I just-it’s nothing. A witch is just destroying my life.”

“I did it out of love,” Rhia reminds me and points at the barstool in front of me. “Sit down.”

I sit. It’s not like I have anything else to do right now while I process everything she’s told me. “Let’s say I believe you. What happens to the other girl you swapped me with. The real Duskweaver? She’s living my life right now like I’m living hers?”

“She is, albeit in a different way on account of those roommates of yours. She’ll get the same choice as you. Stay in your world or come back to this one once she’s achieved her chosen quest line. It’s her bed you’re sleeping in right now.”

Holy shit. We really did swap places down to the beds.

“She’s me then? She’s with Gio and Donnie?” Oh, this is bad. “How do I know she isn’t screwing up my whole life right now?” Gio would know she doesn’t belong, even if she looks like me. He’s my best friend. Fooling him isn’t possible.

“Yes and no. They know you too well. Fooling them completely would be impossible on such short notice. But that’s neither here nor there. What you need to worry about is your quest line, so get your head in the game, Bonnie.”

“You’re really going full NPC on this one, huh?”

Rhia rolls her eyes at me and pours a beer into the glass tankard she was polishing earlier. “The term is quest giver and yes, I did. Only way to get through to the pair of you.” She slides the beer in front of me and starts to fill one for Tamsin as my friend takes the seat next to me.

“You’ll forgive me that I’m not jumping at the chance to take another drink from you. Where’s this one going to send me to? The moon?”

“Would you like to go to the moon? Because if you do, then this is going to get very complicated for you.”

I jab a finger at her. “Don’t you dare think about sending me to the moon or so help me.”

She grins and gives Tamsin her beer. “Listen, the rules are easy, Bonnie. Find love and you get to go home. Easy peasy.”

“Are you really telling me that I have to find love with one of the real life versions of my fantasy boyfriends?”

“Gee, well, let’s see. I think I said the spell was for self-love but seeing as I don’t see you completing that any time soon, then yes, the quest line you’ve chosen is to find love with one of your boy toys which I gotta say dusting one of them the first night you’re in this timeline? Impressive.”

“I have plenty of self love. The whole assessment of my self-love-o-meter is entirely subjective and not at all fair for you to measure.” I pause and take a deep swig of the beer. I’m already hallucinating that I’m in a video game, why not drink and be merry? “And how was I supposed to know it was him? I woke up in the woods and he started chasing me! Which, in your whole let-me-ruin-Bonnie’s-life moment you couldn’t be bothered to drop me off in town?”

Rhia rubs the back of her neck and has the good grace to look embarrassed. “I tried, okay? My math was off. You weren’t supposed to wake up out there. I was aiming for Hunter’s Watch.”

I harrumph but keep silent. I’m not good at math either, so Rhia gets a pass.

Tamsin gives Rhia a thoughtful look. “Are you saying that you body swapped Bonnie into this timeline? That you sent the real recruit to her world?” She’s entirely too calm about this but she does live in Briarwood Hollow. Magic is real here. Vampires walk the world and she’s a freaking superhero.

My ass stuck in a magical dating simulator wouldn’t phase her.

“I am. Bonnie needs love to complete her quest. Love is the only thing powerful enough to send her back whence she came.”

“I was fine where I was. In my world,” I grumble as I sip my drink and start to do math of my own. The quickest way to complete my quest line is to aim for Lucien or Adrian. The Nightwarden leader never did show up for training today. Getting the deets on his whereabouts is top priority if I’m going to make him fall in love with me. Although…that way does lie Riley. Getting around the patrol leader isn’t going to be easy, which means…

“Lucien,” I say and tap the bartop to make my point. “Lucien Nightshade. Where is he?” Vampire or Vampire Hunter, it doesn't matter. Lucien Nightshade falls for me every time. He’s my fast pass home.

“Ah, so we’re choosing the “The Eternal Shadow” as your love interest? Straight to the point then, aren’t you? I like it. He’s a little fast for my taste but to each their own I suppose.”

“He’s charming,” I correct her and take another sip of my beer. “But where is he?”

“House of the Lunar Veil, of course. You’ll have to draw him out on your own. It’s your quest line. I’m not inferring. There are rules to this, Bonnie.”

I roll my eyes at her. “Whatever.”

Rhia leans against the counter like we’re old friends and gives me a sly smile. “Say, what about Cade Graves? Now that’s a vampire I wouldn’t mind taking a bite out of.”

I snort. “I want to go home, not get a knife in my back. Do you know how many times that vampire has murdered me when I was trying to flirt?”

Rhia shrugs. “He’s intense. The best ones are. I think you give him some time and that’s the vamp for you. He gets a taste of you and he’s a one woman kinda vampire. Not at all like Lucien.”

“Duh, I know that. Lucien doesn’t try and rip my throat out, though.”

Tamsin pulls a face. “You need to stay away from Cade. He looks at you like he wants to eat you.”

I splay my hands out and hum in agreement. “Exactly what I’m saying. So Cade is off the table. Besides, whoever you swapped me with stalked him, Rhia. So not only am I stuck on a love quest, but I’m Cade Graves’ stalker in this world. His stalker. Couldn’t you have picked a normal recruit to switch me with?”

Rhia puts her hands on her hips. “Listen, it was slim pickings. Nobody normal was willing to go to your world,” she says, which tracks, honestly. My timeline is ghetto.

“Fair point. So let’s say I believe you and that I’m willing to see this through. I get one of the boyfriends to fall for me and I’m scot-free?”

“You have to love them too, Bonnie. Love is a two way street and you better both be walking it.”

“I can do that. I have been in love with fictional men since I hit puberty. This is going to be easy.” I lift my beer in cheers and down the rest of it. “I’m out of here. Let’s hit the road, Tamsin. I’m going for Lucien.”

Tamsin gives me a thumbs up and proceeds to chug her entire beer with the focus and voracity I’ve only ever witnessed from frat boys. Tamsin is truly a hero.

I pause before I head for the door and look at Rhia. “I’ve got one question, though.”

“Shoot, vampire hunter.”

“What’s with the Ascendents? They don’t exist in Fangs Are Forever . I thought you said this was my game but last I checked there weren’t ancient vampires trying to take Briarwood Hollow and making war on everyone.”

Rhia taps her temple. “All that is here is coming from you,” she says.

“I wouldn’t do that.”

The witch sighs and looks at me. “Wouldn’t you?”

“Rhia…”

“Easy love isn’t your thing, Bonnie-bear. The Ascendents are a part of that story.”

Oof. Direct fucking hit. Easy love isn’t my thing? She’s not wrong. Even when things were good with Preston, I felt…restless. And before him, I always picked the most emotionally unavailable asshole I could find to love. Childhood trauma now spawns ancient blood thirsty vampires because forming toxic attachments and making poor relationship choices doesn’t cut it anymore.

“I need to go have an existential crisis now. See ya, Rhia.”

Rhia waves cheerfully at Tamsin and I as we leave. “Stay safe, hunters.’

When we’re back on the sunny sidewalk, Tamsin shoots a worried look my way. “You’re not going to the House of the Lunar Veil are you?”

“If it’s where Lucien is then that’s where I’m going.”

“You go there and the Nightwardens are going to know something is wrong.”

“Maybe I don’t need the Nightwardens if I go for Lucien? I-I could find somewhere in town to stay, I think. Or I could try.”

She shakes her head. “Where are you going to stay? No one is going to take in a deserter. You’re a recruit. If you leave there’s nowhere to go. It’s not safe with the Ascendents attacking us.”

Fuck. Tamsin is right. Failed recruits leave the city. I can’t go back to Haven either. Even if I could, it's not my home. If I don’t stay in the Nightwardens until I fall in love then I’m royally screwed.

“Fine, then. If I can’t go to him directly, I’ll have to find him in a roundabout way. I’ll have to get some intel then. I bet if I go stake out his place I can bump into him.”

“That’s called stalking. Cade might get jealous if you’re after another vampire,” Tamsin teases me with a grin.

I laugh. Everything is so ridiculous right now that it's the only thing I can do. “Wait a minute, you’re okay with this? I know that magic and Rhia is normal, but you heard her say I’m from another timeline, a whole different world and you’re fine with it?”

Tamsin shrugs. “Everyone’s got something they’re running from. Yours is just more literal. The way I see it the witch wouldn’t have put you in my path if I wasn’t supposed to help you. If I’ve learned anything as a hunter, it’s that I have a role to play and besides, I like you.”

I throw my arms around Tamsin and hug her tightly. “Of all the vampire patrols I could crash, I’m so thankful I crashed yours.”

She hugs me back. “Right back ‘atcha. Plus, it’s really fun watching you piss Riley off. You’ll go far in this world.”

“So you’ll help me stalk Lucien?” I ask.

Tamsin pats me on the back. “Oh no, that’s all you.”