Smolder (Georgia Smoke #6)

• Thirty-Four •

My soul was backing out. Deciding it’d had all it could take.

Royal

I stood in the middle of the living room of the guesthouse that Merce had brought me and Grams to. Sebastian’s name lit up the screen as the phone rang, and I wanted to throw it against the wall, scream at the top of my lungs, and answer it, all at the same time.

I’d do the latter if everything that Merce had told me weren’t perfect puzzle pieces to the things I hadn’t understood. The pictures my father had sent me of his battered face and the casts on both his arms also made it impossible for me to cling to the hope that he and Merce had lied to me.

“I have to paint today,” Grams said as she walked through the living room, looking around for something.

She’d been so happy to see me, and then she began showing me around as if Haven House were her new house and everyone there were guests. When I had told her it was time to go, she balked at me and said that was impossible. She had a party to host. Thankfully, she forgot about her party and asked me if I knew where little Vin had run off to. I had gotten her to leave by telling her we needed to go pick him up from school.

The front door opened, and my head snapped up from my phone to see Merce walk inside with a bag of food he’d said he was going to get.

He held it up. “As promised. There should be enough until I get back tomorrow. I have an event tonight and can’t stay long.”

Good. The more I looked at him, the sicker I felt. Of all people for me to have to rely on.

Dad had sent him to get me, and I refused to leave with him. Until he told me that if we didn’t go get my Grams, then the mafia would use her to draw me and my dad out. Dad had escaped because Merce had sent some people in to help him. But Dad had to hide out too. We couldn’t even go home.

I nodded my head, but said nothing more.

Merce glanced at my Grams, who was still searching for her art class. She made him uncomfortable. Just like when we had been dating.

“Uh, okay,” he said, then pushed back open the door. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

He hurried out, as if I might ask him to stay. The lock clicked in place.

What had I done? This was all my fault. I’d believed Sebastian. Even after he abducted me and told me he was in the Mafia, I trusted him. All because … all because I’d fallen in love with him.

I placed a hand on my stomach when I thought of how Dad had said Sebastian had broken his arms. What kind of sick person could do that? Well, I mean, I could imagine Thatcher doing it, even if his girlfriend had been so sweet and nice to me.

NO! They were all criminals. All of them. Even Maeme.

I had been fooled just to get to Merce and my father.

Sebastian had helped me look for my dad. He’d taken me places, gone with me to look for my father, and he was the one who had taken my dad. God, had I really been so blind?

My phone began to ring again, and anger burned in my chest at his name taunting me. He kept calling. What was he going to say? My father had escaped. Was he supposed to use me now to find my dad, just like he’d come to the pool hall to find me? To charm me and make me think he was interested in me just to get information?

I hit Accept and put the phone to my ear.

“Nothing you say— nothing —will ever make what all you lied to me about, everything you did to my family, and how you used me okay,” I sneered into the line. “I hate you. Leave me alone. You took my life away from me.”

I ended the call and threw the phone on the ground, then covered my face to hide my tears. Grams wouldn’t understand.

“Oh dear, you dropped your phone,” she said, shuffling over toward me.

She’d fall if she bent over and tried to pick it up.

“I got it, Grams. It’s fine. Come to the kitchen. I’ll fix you something to eat.”

“All right! I’ll go get the fine china,” she replied happily.

Right now, I wished I could live in that world of hers. Free of the pain that felt as if it was going to eat me alive. Taking all the horror of my reality with it. Leaving me a shell with no remorse.

My phone didn’t ring again that evening. No more calls came through. Long after Grams was asleep, I lay there, staring at the ceiling, battling every memory of Sebastian that haunted me. None of it had been real. That hurt more than anything. Even more than the fact that he’d tortured my dad. If nothing else, that was proof my soul was black.

When my dad had told me what had happened to him and where he had been, I’d almost defended Sebastian’s actions. Telling myself that he loved me so much that he couldn’t handle anyone hurting me. I had truly believed it too.

But that hadn’t been the case. Sebastian and the rest of his mafia family hadn’t believed my dad was telling the truth, and they broke his bones, sliced his face, broke his ribs, broke his nose, busted out two of his teeth, all because they were trying to get him to talk. Tell them about the Dancastles and some drugs.

It was then that my heart had shattered, and the truth of my reality had set in.

Sebastian Shephard had never loved me. I didn’t even know if he liked me. All that sex that I had thought was incredible because of our feelings for each other and our connection—it had been a lie. He’d just fucked a lot of women, and he knew exactly how to use my body to manipulate me into believing his lies. The girl who had never had a man’s love. I was the poster child for daddy issues, and he’d seen it and used it against me.

Then, to get rid of me, he and the others had an elaborate tale that he was in trouble and going to face the boss. He had never been in any danger. They’d probably all gotten drunk and laughed at my naivety. How easy it had been for Sebastian to dupe me.

Never again. I would never again trust a soul with my heart.

I tucked the covers under my chin as hot tears rolled down my face. The irony of it all was, even though it hadn’t been real to him. It had been to me. He had ruined me. No man would ever compare to what I’d thought we had. That might possibly be the saddest part of this all. I was a broken, pathetic, lost little girl who had handed over her heart on a silver platter.

It was almost noon, and Merce hadn’t stopped by with any food, although I had warmed up last night’s meal and fed Grams breakfast. I had no appetite, so I could get one more meal out of it for her before I started to get worried. But Merce would come back. He wasn’t an early riser. Morning to him was often early afternoon for most.

My phone rang, and I tensed as I glanced down at it, but then I saw my dad’s name. I was thankful that Merce had helped him get another phone with his old number. I would need to do the same as soon as I could leave. I didn’t want anything that Sebastian and his Mafia lords could trace. Right now though, this was all I had.

“Dad,” I said in greeting.

“Royal,” he replied, sounding chipper for a man who was as beaten up as he was. “Seems I am in the clear. The Mafia called me and informed me that they no longer needed me. We are free to return home as long as we keep our distance from the Dancastles. I didn’t tell them you were with Merce, but they knew. The man I spoke with said you and Grams had until today to get back to our house in order to clear your name. If you stayed with Merce, then they would believe you were helping him.”

I sank down onto the sofa behind me. “They aren’t mad you escaped?” I asked, no longer believing anything those men said. As much as I wanted to go home, this could be a trap.

“No. Seems I didn’t escape. They were done with me and let me go free. The people Merce sent were just my ride.”

Frowning, I stared at the wall. That didn’t make sense. “Your ride? I thought you were tied up and hung from the ceiling?”

“Yeah, I was all right. But they let me down and untied me. Anyway, it’s all over. Merce ain’t answering, and I want free of them dirty politicians. Got us in enough trouble already. Has he been there this morning? Reckon you can get an Uber?”

I shook my head, still not sure this was all as up-and-up as he thought it was.

“Where are you?” I asked.

“Back at home, and I can’t do a thing with two broken arms. I need you to get on back here.”

“Dad, how did you get home?” I demanded.

He could very likely be sitting bait for Sebastian and those men. Nothing they said was the truth.

“They sent someone to fetch me. Brought me here.”

“WHO?!” I shouted. Merce had said dad was in the hospital and he’d take me to see him today. Who had taken him from there?

“No reason to break my damn eardrum too,” he snapped. “The Mafia. Sent a guy after they called. That’s what they did. Now, get an Uber and pick up some food on the way. Ain’t nothin’ here.”

“Dad,” I said as calmly as I could. “Last night, you called me, then sent me pictures of your injuries, detailing what all the Mafia had done to you. You called Sebastian by his name, not Amory. You knew who they were, and they’d almost killed you. Now, you are telling me, less than twenty-four hours later, that you believe that they are done with us? You left the hospital with these men. The ones who hurt you with no fear of them hurting you again? This does not make sense!”

It wasn’t that I didn’t want to go home. It was that I was terrified to trust anyone. And this time, I had Grams to protect.

He sighed heavily into the phone. “Last night, I didn’t know they’d let me go. I thought they were gonna come lookin’ for me. I thought they’d get to me in the hospital. Kill me this time. But they didn’t! They came and got me and brought me home. If they was gonna kill me they would have taken me back to the damn room and finished the job.”

I pressed my forefinger and thumb against my temples and rubbed. He wasn’t thinking this all through.

“What about me? Did you think of that? I ran off too. Sebastian called me several times yesterday, and I ignored it. What if this is a way to draw me out?”

“It ain’t. They said that Sebastian was done with you. He got what he needed. You left and saved them the trouble of having to get rid of you. The man even told me to tell you, uh, somethin’ about, That’s the best you can be, little girl—a beautiful little fool . Or was it, That’s the best thing a girl can … or … fuck, I can’t remember. He said to pass that along, and I did. Whatever. Just get home.”

“ That’s the best thing a girl can be in this world—a beautiful little fool ,” I whispered, remembering the line from The Great Gatsby .

And I’d thought Sebastian couldn’t hurt me anymore. He was right. I was a fool.

“Yeah! That sounds about right,” he agreed.

I ended the call as Grams walked by, talking about her lemon Bundt cake she’d made for the neighbors. A numbness slowly seeped through me. Nothing seemed important as if I could just sit here and stare at the wall. Let the world pass me by. Forget everything and just exist. Perhaps this was self-preservation, or my soul was backing out. Deciding it’d had all it could take.