Snow Going Back

Chapter 26

TWENTY-SIX

Sam walked over to the sofa Kate was sitting on with two steaming mugs and handed one over. The kettle had been unharmed, other than a small dent in the side, much to Kate’s relief.

‘Thanks,’ Kate said, blowing on it before taking a sip. ‘ Oh .’ She pulled back. ‘That’s one strong tea.’

‘I figured we could both use a touch of the Irish in there tonight,’ Sam replied, sitting on the opposite end of the sofa and twisting to face her. ‘Well, technically Scotch,’ he added. ‘Let’s call it a Celtic tea.’

Kate smiled and pulled her feet up to give him more room. Cosied up in a warm blanket, she’d now regained full control of her emotions since Sam had joked her initial shock away. She was grateful to him for that. It had been exactly what she’d needed. She was grateful, too, for the gentle care he’d then given her patching up her arm. And for saving her from Aubrey’s psychotic attack. Out of nowhere, Sam had gone from being the most maddening adversary she’d ever faced to being her all-round hero. Life really was funny sometimes. She glanced at him over the rim of her cup as she took another sip.

‘Thank you,’ she said quietly. ‘You know. For earlier.’

Sam rested his arm across the back of the sofa and shook his head with a grim expression. ‘I should have warned you about those two. I’m sorry.’

Kate frowned. ‘It’s not your fault.’ She tipped her head to the side with a wry expression. ‘Which actually makes a change compared to everything else that happens to me around here.’

He let out a short sound of amusement. ‘True,’ he admitted. ‘ That was definitely not me though.’

‘So sending someone to prison’s acceptable, but you draw the line at permanent scarring?’ Kate asked with a laugh.

Sam thought it over, then nodded. ‘I’d say that about sums it up.’

‘I’d better cancel that tattoo artist I had booked in for you then,’ she joked.

Sam laughed. ‘What were you going to do? Rose or skull?’

‘Neither,’ she replied, meeting his smile and feeling suddenly warmed by it.

He was even more handsome when he smiled. In fact, it completely transformed him. She felt a tug of something in her core. Something inviting. Something she couldn’t quite place. She glanced away quickly, feeling flustered suddenly.

‘I’d rather not ruin the surprise in case we go back to all that and it does escalate to that level,’ she said, getting her thoughts back on track. ‘But it was rude, and it was going to go here.’ She pointed to her forehead with a grin.

Sam shook his head with a groan. ‘You’re dangerous. If I’d realised this when we first met, I’d never have got on the wrong side of you.’

Kate looked down at her mug. As kind as he’d been to her tonight, and as much as she appreciated that, Sam was still the same guy he’d been an hour ago. One heroic act didn’t change a whole person, and she needed to remember that. There was a short silence, and then he spoke quietly, his words taking her by surprise.

‘I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you since you arrived here, Kate. The person you’ve seen really isn’t who I am. I don’t know what came over me these last couple of weeks.’ He shook his head and turned to look out of the window. ‘I know it probably doesn’t look like it to you, but I loved my aunt very much.’

Kate waited for him to continue, listening with interest.

‘They took me in when I was twelve, after my parents died. It was a rough time. They had to fight to get me outta the system after the state threw me in there.’ Sam stared into the distance for a moment. ‘But they did. And they gave me a home and a family and treated me like I was their own. They were just like that. If they had something to give, they’d give it, without question. Especially kindness. Always kindness.’ He smiled, looking down at his mug. ‘The day my aunt died, I was with her. I held her hand.’ He swallowed hard. ‘It was the hardest goodbye I’ve had to say, and I’ve had to say a lot. I needed to get away from everyone after; couldn’t stand the sympathy and the attempts to help. I just needed some time to process things on my own. So I took off to one of my empty projects and camped out for a few days.’

‘Projects?’ Kate asked.

‘I build affordable, sustainable eco houses and solutions,’ he explained. He looked up at her with a half smile. ‘I know you had me pegged as a careless bum, being around here so much lately, but not the case, I’m afraid. Sorry to disappoint you.’

Kate stared at him, surprised. That was a turn-up for the books. Or was it? She hadn’t actually asked him, after all. In fact, if she was being brutally honest with herself, she’d really just assumed that because it fitted best with the picture she’d wanted to create of him.

‘I spent a week up there, trying to come to terms with it all,’ Sam continued. ‘Then I drove back to get cleaned up the day before her funeral.’

‘Oh my God,’ Kate groaned as the penny dropped. ‘And before you could get home, you ended up crashing into that tree and meeting me.’ She covered her eyes with her hand, his reactions suddenly making a lot more sense.

‘Yeah,’ Sam confirmed. ‘Which doesn’t excuse my behaviour at all. I just wasn’t dealing very well, and then there you were .’ He grimaced.

‘ There I was ,’ she repeated quietly. ‘Wait, did you say the funeral was the next day?’ She frowned.

‘Yeah.’ He scratched the back of his neck. ‘Jenna organised it all. She just wanted it to be a good day, and after the day before, I just…’ He struggled to finish his sentence and made a sound of reluctance.

‘You thought I’d be better locked up in jail than roaming the house where you were holding the wake,’ she finished. She pursed her lips. ‘I can’t pretend I agree with that, but at least it was for a better cause than a date . Why did you tell me it was a date ?’

Sam laughed. ‘I didn’t – you just assumed. You asked me if I’d left you in there so I could drink wine with a woman, and technically I had. So I said yes . You were a crazy stranger. I didn’t feel like sharing something that personal with you.’

Kate shook her head. ‘Well, your methods of dealing with things are terrible, but I guess you aren’t as awful as I thought you were,’ she admitted. ‘Which means I’m going to have to rethink all my evil plans.’ She exaggeratedly rolled her eyes. He laughed again, and she smiled, thinking back over all their interactions. ‘OK, I have more questions.’

‘Go on,’ he said warily.

‘That police officer who arrested you – what did you do to him to make him hate you so much?’ she asked.

‘I was born,’ he answered with an awkward laugh. ‘When I moved here, he gave me a hard time. Found out the last home I’d been in had been in a trailer park and told everyone I was trash. Which wasn’t fun. Not least because the people in that trailer had been really kind to me. They were good people. So I stood up to him, and the more I did, the worse it got. That’s when I met Mike and Jerry. They had my back, and things started to change.’

Kate frowned in disgust. ‘What a douchebag! That must have been so hard, with everything else you were dealing with.’

‘Ah, life’s full of people like him,’ Sam said, brushing it off. ‘I got my own back, anyway. Couple years later I became popular with the girls and dated the head cheerleader for a while. I was her first love, as she still tells everyone when she’s had a few margaritas.’

Kate grinned. ‘ Please tell me she’s Healy’s wife.’

‘She’s Healy’s wife,’ Sam confirmed.

‘Ha!’ Kate slapped her hand on the back of the couch and laughed. ‘That’s amazing! Oh, he must hate you so much .’

‘He does.’ Sam grinned. ‘OK, my turn.’ He eyed her for a few moments. ‘I don’t get you,’ he said eventually.

‘That’s not a question,’ she told him.

‘OK. So you’re clearly very smart, and you’re passionate when you’re fighting for something you care about. But then it’s like you…’ He put down his drink and tried to condense a ball of air between his hands. ‘I don’t know, like you try to contain it in a neat little box.’

Kate frowned, feeling defensive. ‘I like to be organised and prepared . But there’s nothing wrong with that.’

Sam nodded. ‘OK. So what makes you tick? What makes you feel alive?’

Kate faltered, stumped, and realised no one had asked her that question in a really long time. She tried to pinpoint the last thing that had made her feel something genuinely positive, but neither the snow nor jetting off the runway on a plane actually answered Sam’s questions.

The silence stretched on too long, and Sam cleared his throat.

‘Sorry, that was a big one to throw outta the blue. It’s not always easy to put that kind of thing into words, I know.’ He offered her the out so politely that it only made her feel even more embarrassed that she couldn’t answer.

She touched her ring, looking down at it with a touch of guilt. She should have said that Lance made her feel alive. Or that what made her tick right now was the wedding.

‘When’s the big day?’ Sam asked, gesturing towards her hand.

‘Oh, um, New Year’s Eve,’ she replied, forcing a smile.

‘Oh, it’s close!’ Sam exclaimed. His gaze lingered on the ring. ‘That’s an impressive rock, by the way.’

‘Yes, it’s…’ Kate bit the inside of her cheek. ‘It’s something.’ She looked back up to see Sam staring back with a frown, and quickly smiled.

‘You must be pretty desperate to finish up here and get back then, I imagine?’ he asked.

Kate nodded with a sound of agreement, but Sam’s curious frown remained. ‘There’s just still a lot to arrange,’ she told him, by way of explanation for her lack of enthusiasm. ‘It’s all happened very fast, you see, and I just haven’t, er, haven’t really got my head around it all.’

What are you doing? she screamed at herself. Why are you telling him this?

‘I mean, no , I-I don’t mean my head, I mean more like, you know…’ She started rambling, feeling flustered. ‘I mean with things to organise still, it’s stressful. That’s all. I haven’t even got a dress yet!’

‘No?’ Sam scratched his stubble. ‘There’s a dress place in town I know. Round the back of the old water mill. Jerry’s wife works there. I could talk to her if you like, see if I can get you in to look around? Probably the least I could do, after the whole jail thing.’

‘And the water,’ she reminded him.

He nodded. ‘ Yup .’

‘And the noise torture,’ she added.

‘Mhm,’ he agreed.

‘ And ’ – she narrowed her eyes – ‘the milk . You do not get in between a Brit and her tea. Not cool .’

Sam threw his head back and laughed.

Kate took another sip of her drink, then looked down at her hands for a moment. ‘I’m sorry, too, by the way. For your wallet and for driving you to break down a wall .’ She glanced over at the jagged hole around the TV. ‘I didn’t realise you felt quite so strongly about watching the game.’

Sam let out a rueful sigh. ‘I don’t, actually. But one of the guys, Dave, his wife left him recently. Took the kids and the dog and moved downstate with some guy she’d been seeing behind his back.’

‘Ouch.’ Kate winced.

‘Yeah.’ Sam looked down at his cup. ‘He’s not coping well. We’ve been taking turns to keep an eye on him. Game night is the only thing he looks forward to, so…’ He trailed off and looked at the hole.

Kate suddenly felt like the biggest jerk in the world. She closed her eyes.

‘I’m so sorry, Sam,’ she said quietly. ‘I’m an idiot.’

‘No, you weren’t to know,’ he said, brushing it off. ‘You were just giving back what I deserved.’

Kate shook her head. ‘Still, I should have handled that better. This isn’t how I deal with things. It’s not who I am at all.’

‘Seems we’ve been bringing out the worst in each other, huh?’ Sam said quietly.

Kate nodded, and they studied each other for a few moments.

‘I’m glad you’re not who I thought you were,’ Kate said suddenly.

‘Ditto,’ Sam said. ‘It’ll be nice to sleep with both eyes closed again.’

Kate laughed and tucked her hair back behind her ear. ‘Affordable sustainable eco houses, huh? That’s amazing. Most people only care about how much profit they can make. It’s refreshing to see there are still people out there trying to make a difference in the world. It must be very rewarding.’ She smiled, feeling a pang of envy. She couldn’t remember the last time she’d worked on something that felt rewarding.

Sam nodded. ‘It is. I’m all for working hard for the things you want in life, but people shouldn’t have to struggle for basic things like safe living conditions or have to choose between things like heating the house and feeding their kids.’ He sighed. ‘When people don’t have money, they often end up in a more expensive rut than people who do.’

‘What do you mean?’ Kate asked, intrigued.

‘I don’t know what it’s like in England, but here, if you’re down on your luck, it’s almost impossible to drag yourself back out, and the cycle goes way deeper than people realise. For example, if you’re poor, you buy cheap foods, which are pumped full of stuff you wouldn’t throw at a dog, but they’re hidden in the mile-long list of ingredients, so you don’t know, and that’s what you eat. What your kids eat. The lack of nutrition slows them down, so they focus less and get worse grades, which has a knock-on effect on their future. It slows you down, too, but at the same time, you’re picking up more hours at work to pay the bills. If you have a job.’

He sat forward, growing more impassioned. ‘Imagine the only place you can afford is a run-down dump. There’s mould on the walls, the washer’s packed up, the landlord doesn’t care and the bills just keep mounting. You work harder, eat worse, breathe in that toxic air, grow more stressed and run-down until you end up ill – and then you either don’t have health insurance or it doesn’t cover what you need. You’re faced with the choice of crippling debt or leaving your health to deteriorate until you can’t work or, as is often the case, just die.’

Kate blew out a long breath. ‘That’s a depressing picture.’

‘That’s the reality for a lot of people,’ Sam replied. ‘But if they have access to safe, sustainable, affordable dwellings, that changes things. Not everything, of course, but it’s a start.’ He shrugged.

Kate watched him for a moment, her grudging admiration for him growing. ‘Well, you certainly sound like you’ve found your purpose in life.’

‘Everyone needs one, right?’ he asked, his piercing gaze meeting hers. ‘My aunt used to say that so long as you have a purpose and something or someone in your life that makes you feel alive, that’s all you need. I’m lucky that my work ticks both.’

Kate nodded. ‘That makes sense.’

His gaze flickered to her ring, then back to her face, roaming around it like he was reading all its secrets. As though he could see right through her carefully perfected mask and knew she wasn’t as together as she liked to make out. She looked away.

A few more seconds passed, and then Sam cleared his throat. ‘Listen, let’s wipe the slate clean. Put all the craziness behind us and start over,’ he suggested, reaching out a hand. ‘Hi. I’m Sam.’

Kate looked at his offered hand and then took it in hers with a smile. ‘Kate.’