Snow Going Back

Chapter 28

TWENTY-EIGHT

Hours later, Kate and Sam said goodbye and set off back to the house. The sky was crystal clear, so although the moon was barely a sliver, the stars shone brightly enough to light their way. The snow glistened, reflecting the starlight with an ethereal silvery dance as they walked down Main Street, and their breaths frosted the air, drifting off in small white clouds.

Kate rubbed her gloved hands together and glanced up at the streetlamps. ‘How come they’re not on?’ she asked.

‘It’s past midnight.’ Sam checked his watch. ‘Yeah, ten minutes ago. That’s when they switch them off.’

‘Midnight? That’s early for a weekend. They don’t have very rock ’n’ roll expectations of the people in this town,’ she commented, instantly yawning.

Sam glanced at her wryly. ‘Can’t imagine why.’

‘Hey, it’s five a.m. as far as my British body clock’s concerned. It doesn’t get much more rock ’n’ roll than that,’ she told him.

‘Mhm.’ Sam shot her an unconvinced look.

They walked on for a few moments in silence, then Kate glanced sideways at Sam. ‘Hey, can I ask you something?’

‘Sure,’ he replied.

‘Why don’t you want Coreaux Roots?’

Sam shrugged. ‘I just don’t. It’s a wonderful place and I love it, but it was my uncle’s dream, not mine.’

‘But don’t you want to look after it for them ?’ she asked. ‘After everything they’ve built, everything you invested? Matthew told me the wood fibre plastic stuff was all you – don’t you want to keep it going?’

Sam frowned. ‘No. I don’t.’

Kate frowned, too, confused. She cast her gaze forward, trying to understand him and failing. It was such a gift to have been left. And one he’d clearly been heavily involved in.

‘The Coreaux Roots family means a lot to me,’ Sam told her. ‘But the idea of going in there every day, sitting in an office to continue someone else’s dream kills me on the inside. It makes me feel trapped . Like I’d be stuck in a cage while the life I really want is still out there, you know?’

Kate looked away into the darkness. ‘Yeah, I do,’ she said quietly. It was something she understood all too well, in fact.

They passed the bandstand, and Kate nodded at a half-built stage beside it. ‘What’s that for?’

Sam glanced over. ‘That’s where the nativity scene goes each year. Santa’s grotto usually sits behind it. Mike’s Santa this year.’ He grinned.

‘Oh wow ,’ Kate replied with a laugh and a look of joking concern.

‘Actually, he’s surprisingly good at it,’ Sam told her. ‘Calls it his missed calling in life. Likes to tell people that if the police gig doesn’t work out, that he’ll?—’

‘What?’ Kate cut in with a grin. ‘Become a year-round Santa?’

‘I think more just a general actor,’ Sam answered, his expression matching hers. ‘Like, a really good local Z-lister. I mean, there’s always a call for some sort of seasonal character. You’ve got the Easter bunny…’

Kate nodded. ‘True.’

‘ Cupid .’ He raised an eyebrow as if to jokingly suggest this as a perfect fit. ‘I can see Mike as a cupid, spreading the love in a toga and wings.’

‘It’s the baldness that makes it work,’ Kate agreed with mock seriousness. ‘That and his height.’

‘It helped Danny DeVito’s career,’ Sam added.

Kate laughed, reaching up to tuck her hair back behind her ear, then lowered her hand to see Sam staring at her with a small smile. ‘What?’ she asked, giving him an odd look.

‘Nothing, you just look really nice when you’re happy,’ he replied, his tone warm. ‘When you smile – your real smile, I mean, not that other one you do – you look, well, beautiful.’ He held her gaze, and for a moment something changed, and she felt a strange skitter run through her core. Then suddenly he turned to look forward again with a shrug. ‘ Almost human.’

Kate forced a laugh. ‘ Almost ,’ she agreed.

They carried on down the road to the corner.

‘You know, Mike could always hire himself out for parties between seasons, too,’ she said.

Sam nodded, glancing sideways at her with an unreadable expression. ‘True. Plus, there’s bar mitzvahs and funerals.’

‘I really don’t know why he’s still wasting his time on the force,’ Kate replied with a grin. ‘Oh, look at that.’ She stopped. ‘They must have decorated this while we were out tonight.’

She stared up at the large freshly decorated fir tree in the front garden of the house next to them. The twinkling lights reflected off the bright shining baubles and a golden-haloed angel looked down from the top. The quiet tones of ‘Silent Night’ drifted across the night sky from somewhere nearby, and as it filled the air, Kate smiled, feeling like she’d stepped right off the path and into Christmas Day itself for a moment.

‘I love Christmas,’ she breathed. ‘It’s so full of magic.’

Kate closed her mouth suddenly, realising she’d let her guard down. She didn’t usually share such fanciful thoughts with people. She’d clearly had more to drink than she’d realised. But Sam didn’t laugh at her words, the way she’d expected him to. The way most people would have hearing those words coming from the mouth of a thirty-five-year-old woman. Instead, he just stared up at the tree with her.

‘My aunt and uncle always saw the magic in everything,’ he replied. ‘And they taught me how to see it, too. Something I’m eternally grateful for, having spent my earlier years thinking all there was in this world was cold, hard reality. Life’s pretty grey for those who can’t find the magic.’

‘I always thought that, too,’ Kate said, turning to look at him.

Sam stared up at the tree, the lights reflecting brightly in his blue eyes and a ghost of a smile lifting the corners of his mouth. A dimple creased into the dark stubble between his strong jaw and cheekbones, and for a moment, Kate caught a glimpse of the boy inside the man. The boy filled with the same wonder and joy she still felt for Christmas, too. She smiled softly, feeling a sudden warmth towards him she hadn’t before.

He turned to face her, surprise lifting his brows as he briefly glanced upwards. Kate’s gaze followed his, and she realised a sprig of mistletoe now hung from the branch of a large tree, just above. As she moved her gaze back to his, a few snowflakes fell from the branch above and danced around them in the breeze, and Kate felt something shift. Their gazes locked, and she stared at him, frozen, momentarily suspended, unable to move either forward or back. They stood there together under the stars in their shared bubble of Christmas magic. But it was more than that, she realised somewhere in the back of her mind. She didn’t let the thought go further. Because it felt good, being in this strange bubble. The air around her seemed to almost tingle with electricity, and yet at the same time, she felt so relaxed she could barely think.

They lingered there in the silence, Sam’s azure-blue eyes pulling Kate in as though they were a gravitational force. And in that moment, as the gentle music, soft lights and the heady mix of his aftershave and the beautifully decorated pine filled her senses, she wondered, just for an instant, what it would be like to throw caution to the wind and lean in.

As the thought registered, Kate jumped with a small start and pulled in a sharp breath, looking away to the tree. The bubble was shattered, and the feeling of joy and contentment she’d felt just moments before gave way to hot shame and anger. What on earth was she doing?

She put a hand to her head, vaguely aware of Sam turning back towards the tree, too. ‘I, er…’ She wetted her lips, moving her hand to her burning cheek. ‘I think that rum punch hit me harder than I realised. I’m really feeling it suddenly. Feeling really, um, really spaced out.’ It was a thin cover at best, but if Sam saw through it, he didn’t let on.

‘Yeah, Jenna packs that punch a lot stronger than it tastes. The fresh air always brings it home.’ He gestured vaguely around and then pushed his hands down into his pockets, still staring at the tree. ‘We should get out of the cold. That punch don’t just lie about its strength; we’re not as warm as we think we are.’

‘ Yes !’ Kate jumped on board the life raft with both feet. ‘You’re right. I actually read about that recently. The added risks of hypothermia when drinking alcohol in cold temperatures because it only gives the illusion of warmth.’

Sam started walking towards the house, and she fell into step beside him.

He glanced at her, looking amused. ‘You read that recently?’ he clarified.

‘Yes,’ Kate answered. Sam chuckled and shook his head, and she frowned. ‘What? What’s funny?’

‘Nothing. You British really don’t get much snow over there, do you?’

Kate narrowed her eyes. ‘Why do you say that?’

‘Because over here we learn basic survival tips like that in kindergarten,’ he replied.

‘Oh, I see. Well, we don’t have the need to learn things like that, no. But if you ever need an expert on how to keep calm and carry on in constant rain, you won’t find anyone more prepared than a Brit, I can assure you.’

She nodded sagely, and he laughed, the sound much more relaxed now, as they walked away from the mistletoe and the perfectly decorated tree.

‘I’ll be sure to remember that, lawyer girl,’ Sam said seriously. ‘I’m just glad I met you when I did. Who knows what I’d have done next time it rained.’

‘Not kept calm and carried on, that’s for sure. At least not well,’ Kate replied. ‘You really are very lucky.’

They exchanged a grin and continued in companionable silence. But although she’d regained her outward composure and had hidden herself well behind the witty banter, inside, Kate was still a confused, mortified mess.

What had just happened? she lamented. She was weeks away from her wedding. And she was a grown woman – an intelligent woman – one who was in full control of her thoughts and emotions. This wasn’t her. This wasn’t who she was at all . It had to be this place, she decided. With its charm and romantic Christmas displays that people seemed to go all out on popping up everywhere, it was getting to her, that was all. She was off centre, being so far away from home and from everyone. And she’d drunk more than she’d meant to tonight, as well. All of that together was just messing with her head.

Though even if all that hadn’t been true – which it was – there was one factor to consider that overrode anything. She would never cheat. Not in a million years. That she knew right in her very core. There were certain things Kate had never and would never compromise on, and being able to look herself in the mirror without shame was one of them. She had morals, and she would stick to them no matter what.

But although she knew this, as she slid her gaze towards Sam, she still had to wonder what she’d find in her reflection after tonight. Because whether she’d acted on it or not, and whether she liked it or not, for one brief moment there had been a part of her that had very nearly made a very big mistake.