Snowbound with the Santas (Forbidden Fantasies)

38. Rayne

38

RAYNE

B eing back at the cabin is… strange. It feels more like home than any other building I’ve lived in over the years, and there’s a welcome comfort that comes from walking through its halls and soaking up the heat from the blazing fire Archer stoked in the fireplace.

Even the drive up here felt different. It was like I was finally seeing the trees for the first time and appreciating the beauty of the mountains that became my safe haven for over a month.

Before we left the lodge, I called Nina and poured my entire heart out to her. She was mostly happy I wasn’t dead and only ten percent pissed that I had fallen in love before she got a chance to check any of the men out.

I also told her I was pregnant. As I wander through the cabin's kitchen, her advice sings in my mind.

Tell them the truth.

It’s my only option. I have absolutely no idea what to do with a baby, or even if I want to keep it. If I do, how do I decide who the father is? Will they want to know or will they all want to raise it?

And if they don’t? If the baby is a deal breaker? Nick has only just gotten a chance to see his daughter again. Will he really want a baby on top of that?

This and more spin through my mind as I walk slowly into the lounge. The remnants of Christmas are still everywhere, and despite it being New Year’s Eve, it still feels like Christmas. I love it. My attention drifts up to the countless twinkling lights above.

More than a month ago, I woke up here convinced I was going to be chow for three gorgeous yet scary mountain men. Instead, I found acceptance. Love. Peace.

Things I had been certain were never for me. Each piece of furniture carries a memory, whether it be sexy and fun or more relaxing, like reading a book, watching a movie, or playing shadow puppets against the fire. I learned how to fish, how to survive in the snow, and how to trust.

Even beyond the cabin, the thought of that glow cave Archer took me to makes me feel giddy. And the hot spring with Nick was gorgeous. I have so many memories in such little time, and I don’t ever want it to end.

Will pregnancy do that? Will the baby be the end of my Christmas romance, or will it be the beginning?

“Rayne?” Nick appears behind me, and I spin around. “Are you okay? I was calling your name for ages.”

“I’m sorry.” I laugh awkwardly. “My mind was miles away.”

“No worries. We’re ready to go if you are?”

“Of course!” I pat my thick coat. “I’m all good.”

The one thing that doesn’t change is how terribly biting the cold is. We hike from the cabin up to the hot spring, and it takes just under an hour. Inside the cave, the pool loses a little bit of its charm since there are no floating candles, but the warmth is just as welcoming. Frankie leads the way, and this time, instead of stopping at the hot spring, we walk along the path where the water bubbles past the rocks and into a small river that feeds to the mouth of the cave.

It’s there we stop, and Frankie approaches the edge. From where I stand, it looks like he could step out onto the very tops of the trees that stretch out like a soft white blanket. You wouldn’t even know there was an infinite drop-down sheer rock face from this angle.

Frankie sighs deeply, then reaches into his deep pockets and pulls out a small black urn. Archer stands next to him and Nick remains back with me.

“You ready?” Archer asks quietly.

Frankie nods. My heart goes out to him the moment I see his eyes shine. I can’t fathom how strange and painful it must have been to see Cecil again after all these years, but in a stroke of luck, it was the closure they both needed.

Punching Cecil didn’t make things better, just like killing Ashton wouldn’t have made things better for me.

The only true way forward is acceptance. And letting go.

“Harry,” Frankie begins. “You were a champion. The best man I ever knew. The best brother a kid could ask for. You always did what you could to help people, so I guess it was natural that you turned to the military. You were the funniest, kindest, most annoying guy I ever met.”

Archer snorts softly in amusement.

“But you were a real one. You never let me down. And in a way, you brought me Archer. He’s a pain in the dick, but he’s a brother. He takes care of me and I take care of him. And… I know you would be happy that I found someone. Someone who loves me for me. Someone who sees me the same way you did. As a person. So… you can rest now, pal.” Frankie’s voice trembles. “You can rest now.”

Archer places his hand on Frankie’s shoulder as Frankie removes the lid from the urn. Then, together, they tip the urn over the edge of the cliff. We watch in silence as the ashes pour down and catch in the wind, drifting away in the air to settle in the most beautiful forest.

After a few long moments of silence, Frankie straightens up and when he turns to face us, it’s clear something has changed. Like a weight has finally lifted.

“Man,” he breathes, quickly wiping at his face. “I never thought I’d be brave enough to do that. To say goodbye. Letting go felt far too hard.”

“I’m proud of you, brother,” Archer says, lightly ruffling Frankie’s hair. “Harry would be too.”

“Y’think?”

“We know so,” says Nick. “You’ve got a family. A pretty swell girl.” He sends me a wink. “An amazing job. You deserve to be at peace now as much as he does.”

Frankie sniffs and nods repeatedly. “Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.”

They’re right. Frankie does have that. And I do too.

And yet, the prospect of telling them my news is terrifying. There’s no part of me that’s ready for this to end, no part of me that’s ready to say goodbye to them just because my IUD stopped working.

It plays on my mind in a loop all the way back to the cabin. It haunts me as I take a shower to wash away the cold. And it weighs me down as I settle in the lounge with hot chocolate beside the roaring fire and surrounded by the men I love.

Men who have taken me in, cared for me, protected me, and loved me.

Fuck .

“You okay?” Archer asks, lounging next to me. “You’ve been so quiet today.”

“Ah, well, it’s Frankie’s day. I just wanted to make sure I was respectful,” I reply.

“You’re family,” Frankie says from the couch. “Having you here means the world.”

“Family,” I repeat. “Yeah.”

“Rayne?” Nick leans forward in his chair, cradling his mug. “Are you sure you’re alright? You seem… down.”

“Is it being back here?” Archer asks. “Do you hate it?”

“No! God, no, I love it,” I assure him quickly. “I just…”

“You can tell us anything,” Frankie says. “We won’t judge.”

“I—” Words catch in my throat as all three of them look at me with warm concern in their eyes.

I have to do this. If today has taught me anything, holding onto things doesn’t do anyone any good.

I shift up onto my knees and stare down into my cup.

“Uhm… well, when I went to the doctor after Ashton… they had to run some tests just to make sure I could take the medication they wanted to prescribe.”

Three heads bobble before me.

“One of them was a blood test which, yesterday, confirmed something they found when I was being checked over.”

Nick’s face turns serious.

“I…” I swallow hard, lift my head, and look at each of them slowly. “I’m pregnant.”

You could hear a pin drop from the other side of the mountain with how quiet they are.

No one moves. No one blinks. No one even breathes.

For a moment, I wonder if they even heard me. Did I say it in my mind instead of out loud?

“I’m pregnant,” I repeat. Warmth sweeps up my neck and settles in my cheeks. My stomach ties itself into painful knots.

Then Archer surges forward and tackles me, peppering kisses all over my face to the point that I can only laugh.

“Holy shit! Holy fucking—holy shit! Pregnant! Fuck, I thought you were about to tell us you were dying!” Archer yells.

“Pregnant,” Nick repeats like it’s the first time he’s ever heard the word.

Frankie’s mouth slowly drops open.

“I… I’m sorry,” I gasp around Archer’s kissing. “I didn’t mean to. It was an accident and I think my IUD just stopped working from stress or something. I don’t, uhm… I don’t know how to tell who the father is and I’m really sorry if this ruins things.”

“Ruins things?” Nick abandons his cup and slides off his chair. “How could this ruin things?”

Archer pulls back, his eyes shining.

“Well…” I look between them, uncertain. “We’ve never… I mean, not once has anyone mentioned a baby, and you’ve only just got Freida back, and I have no idea how to raise a baby. Or if I’m even going to keep it or if you want to, and I just…” Breathlessly, I pause and try to calm myself. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Frankie gasps, joining the others on the floor. “Holy shit. I’m going to be a dad. We’re going to be dads.”

“It’s amazing,” Archer whispers, and it’s the softest he’s ever sounded.

“Wait, you’re happy?” I clutch at whoever I can reach, scanning them from face to face. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad?” Nick laughs. “Getting Freida back is amazing. Giving her a sibling? Even better!” He surges forward to kiss me deeply. “I’m over the moon!”

“I think I speak for all of us,” Archer says, “when I say we will be happy with whatever you will be happy with, okay? We will support you because we love it, but know you have our support if you want to keep it.”

“Hell yeah,” Frankie cheers, kissing my cheek.

“Oh, my God,” I gasp, and the sobs come quickly. “I’m going to have a baby…”

“We’re going to have a baby!” They cheer loud enough that it’s a wonder the mountain doesn’t crumble.