Snowed in with the Mountain Man (Log Cabin Christmas)

Chapter 5

5

JAKE

I let out a loud moan of pleasure as I sank into the warm water. It wasn’t even as cold as I expected it to be out here, but after a solid half-hour of rolling a snowball around my back yard, the chill had started getting to me.

I practically ran to my patio as soon as I dropped the idea. Caitlyn hadn’t even agreed to join me, but I’d soak alone if I had to. I wanted the warmth that much.

“Don’t peek.”

Caitlyn’s voice behind me had my heart skipping a beat. She’d stepped inside while I undressed, and until I heard her voice, I wasn’t sure if she’d come back out again. She very well could have stayed inside, warming up in my heated house, leaving me wondering whether I’d said something to scare her off.

I squeezed my eyes closed and held back a smile. No, I shouldn’t be happy about this. I should be putting that wall up and keeping it there. But that wall was slowly melting, just as that snowman would over the next few days.

I heard the light crunch of bare feet on snow. Then came the slosh of water that indicated she was climbing in.

“Can I open my eyes yet?” I asked.

“Just a second.”

More sloshing as the water tickled my chest. I felt my features relax even when I was trying to keep my guard up.

Contentment. That word rose in my brain again. For the second time in as long as I could remember, I was happy being in the moment. And both times I’d been sitting with Caitlyn doing absolutely nothing.

“You can open them now,” she said.

I didn’t know what I expected, but disappointment slammed into me as I opened my eyes and saw the water completely covered her up to her neck. The truth was, I’d been hoping to catch a glimpse of her in her underwear. Unless it was see-through or something, it would have been the same as seeing her in a two-piece bathing suit, right? So what was the big deal?

“This was a great idea,” she said, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the edge of the tub. “Exactly what I needed after the morning I had.”

Again, I found myself holding back a smile. “So you admit this has been a bad morning?”

Her eyes popped open and she looked at me, still heavy-lidded and drowsy, but also frowning. “What do you mean?”

“You always look at the bright side of things. I’ve noticed that about you.”

There was a warmth in my voice that I hadn’t meant to let show. That was how I knew this went beyond sexual attraction. I’d noticed something about her personality. I liked it. It was adorable and even admirable. I sure could use a little more positive thinking in my day.

“People always say that about me.” She rolled her eyes at a spot just to the left of my head, as though remembering something. “Pollyanna. That’s what one roommate called me. I didn’t even know what that meant. I had to look it up. I would just rather wake up every day counting my blessings than freaking out over things. I guess it’s a coping mechanism.”

“We all have those,” I said.

Silence. And in the silence, I wondered what she wasn’t saying. Was she thinking through what my coping mechanisms could be? No, she was probably considering her own.

“You don’t let people in,” she said, answering that question once and for all.

I dared to return my gaze to her face. She wasn’t looking at me, though. Her head was back, propped against the side of the hot tub. Her eyes were open, but she was staring toward the sky with a thoughtful expression.

Her mouth was scrunched in that way she did when she was really concentrating. I’d noticed that about her too. In fact, I’d noticed a lot of things about her. It was the kind of thing a man would do when he was falling in love.

That was ridiculous. I wasn’t falling in love. I didn’t even plan to date. Meaningless sex was the most I’d consider, and only if the woman wouldn’t get her heart broken when I walked away afterward. It had to be understood from the start that it could never be more, which was exactly why I hadn’t had sex in two years. No wonder I’d had a boner since the second I saw her.

“What makes you think that?” I asked after I’d finally absorbed her words.

“You live alone. You cross your arms over your chest a lot, and you seem like you have a wall up. That’s the best I can describe it. Am I right?”

She looked at me then, and I couldn’t lie. “You’re right. After my parents died, I was devastated. But just a few months later, my high school girlfriend dumped me. She said I’d changed. As if losing both your parents at the age of seventeen wouldn’t change somebody.”

“Pretty coldhearted,” she said. “When my mom died, I guess I did a little of that too. But mostly, I was avoiding becoming just like my mother—a single mom with two kids I can’t take care of and a drug habit. I don’t do drugs or even drink.”

“And you don’t get pregnant,” I said.

She laughed. “No risk of that.”

Did that mean she was on birth control? It was none of my business, but my body was pushing me toward having sex with this woman, and that made it my business.

“I’ve never had sex,” she said. “I’m on birth control, just in case. But I always ran from the thought of having sex. When it does happen, I want it to be with a partner who will help me raise the baby right.”

She didn’t want to have sex with someone she wasn’t going to raise a baby with. That should have been bad news, but it didn’t bother me, not in the slightest. In fact, it had me thinking about what it would be like to raise a baby with her. To be her partner every day. To have someone to come home to after a tiring shift. To celebrate the little things in life…and big things like our kids graduating kindergarten or getting all A’s on a report card.

Wait a second. Was she saying what I thought she was saying?

“Are you a virgin?” I asked.

She nodded. “Never even had an orgasm.”

If I’d been drinking something, I would have done a spit take on those words. My hard-on was in full force. It had nothing to do with the virginity thing and everything to do with the fact that she’d used the word “orgasm.”

“You can give yourself one of those, you know,” I said. “No risk of pregnancy at all.”

“Yeah, I never could figure it out.” She shrugged, making water slosh around her. “I looked it up online and tried to follow the directions.”

My eyebrows rose. “Follow the directions? It’s not a piece of furniture you have to assemble.”

“That would probably be easier,” she said. “I know there’s that little sensitive part.”

“Your clit,” I said.

She winced. Maybe that word was too harsh for her. Should I have said clitoris? That sounded so clinical. Not sexy at all.

“If you want, I can walk you through it right now,” I said.

Holy shit. What was I doing? Offering to show her how to give herself an orgasm? But I couldn’t seem to control myself.

“Let’s do it together,” she said.

I wasn’t sure how long I sat there, staring at her and wondering if I was dreaming this whole thing. Maybe the heat from the hot tub had gone to my head. I hadn’t hydrated lately. I could very well be having some sort of dehydration-induced hallucination.

“Grab your…you know…cock?” she said. “Or should I call it an erection? Penis? Dick? Hard-on?”

I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head. “Please stop. Cock works just fine.”

“Your cock works just fine?”

She was smiling now, and I appreciated her trying to lighten the mood. But my body was on fire and my cock begged for release.

I looked around, as though anyone else would be out here, and pushed my underwear down until my erection sprang out. It was no release, but at least I had a little more room to breathe.

“Okay,” I said. “It’s in my hand.”

Her eyes widened and she looked at the water around me. For a second, I wondered if she could see my hand wrapped around my cock beneath the water, but no, she wouldn’t be able to see that from there.

“Now, reach inside your panties and slip your finger inside you,” I said.

Her eyes widened, then she shook her head. “I can’t.”

“If you’re not comfortable, we can stop.”

She shook her head even more aggressively this time. “I can’t put my hand inside my panties. I’m not wearing any. I took everything off.”

This woman was naked? God, what I wouldn’t give for her to stand up right now so I could see that beautiful body. All in due time.

“I thought I was supposed to focus on my clit,” she said. “Is that what I’ve been doing wrong all along?”

She was still looking at me, and I couldn’t tell whether she’d done as I’d directed or not. Damn this water. But maybe it would make her feel comfortable enough to touch herself in front of a guy who’d been a stranger just hours ago.

“I want you to see how wet you are,” I said, my voice husky.

She gave a slow nod, then looked down. But she immediately made a face that was far from sexy. More like she was concentrating on something.

She looked up at me. “I can’t tell if I’m wet. Too much water.”

That was a good point. I knew my way around a woman’s body, but I didn’t know how hot tub water would affect lubrication.

“How does that feel, though?” I asked.

The water sloshed again as she wiggled around a little, that mouth scrunching up again in that way that was already becoming so familiar.

“I don’t know.” She returned her stare to my face and knowing she was looking at me while doing that made me harder. “I guess it feels a little weird.”

I moved my hand along my shaft slowly—mostly to calm it down, but it did the opposite. “Okay. Withdraw your finger and move it to your clit.”

She looked down again, this time shyly. I took her silence to mean she was doing as instructed. There was no other way to tell from here.

“Oh, yeah,” she said. “That feels good.”

She still had such a casual look on her face, it was impossible to tell if she was enjoying what she was doing or not. Soon, though, her eyelids got heavy.

“Okay, so I just move it back and forth?” she asked.

“Is that what you were doing before when you tried?”

Her eyes widened and I was worried that I’d killed the mood. But she looked over to the left again—to that spot she seemed to focus on when she needed to think—before returning her gaze to my face.

“I guess it was. The difference is that this time, I was already turned on.”

“You were already turned on?”

It was worth killing the mood for that. These were words I wanted to hear.

“Yeah, I have been since meeting you. You feel it too, right?”

Our eyes met and held. I nodded.

“I feel it too. Almost from the second I saw you.”

And that was no lie. But that initial jolt had been pure physical attraction. The more time I spent around her, the more it became about feelings, not lust.

Oh, yeah, that wall around my heart had completely crumbled. It was gone. But only for her.