So Rare (Boys of South Chapel #3)

34. Hunter

Chapter 34

Hunter

NOW

Spence’s touch is tender; loving and soothing. He rubs my back and whispers words of praise as he holds me, providing me with the exact aftercare I crave after such an intense scene.

“You’re incredible, love. You did so, so well.”

I hear his words. I feel the sincerity of his affirmations. But I can’t do anything but nod and curl tighter into his lap.

When that alone doesn’t satiate my need for comfort, I nuzzle my face into his side.

Several minutes pass, but the heady haze of subspace lingers still. Typically, I love reaching this state. It’s one of the things I crave most from our dynamic. Letting go completely is pure and utter bliss for me most days.

Tonight, though, I feel an awful lot like I did when I was drugged by my mother.

A sob racks through me at the reminder.

“You’re all right, love. I’ve got you. You’re safe, Hunter. I swear you’re safe with me.”

I know I’m safe. Even so, my heart and my soul are still reeling from the events of the last week.

Spence hugs me tighter, then checks the time on his phone. Not because he’s preoccupied, but because, clearly, I’m not recovering the way I normally do.

Tentatively, he kisses my forehead, then bows lower to meet my gaze. “Should you have safe-worded, love?”

It’s a fair question. With the low I’m riding now, I can understand his concern. He’s not sure the crash is worth the pleasure.

Yet…

I refuse to let my mother change me. I refuse to become a victim of my trauma, especially in this case, when it’s so closely tied to something I genuinely love.

Decidedly, I shake my head.

“I just need to let it out,” I force out between hiccups.

Spence cups my head to his chest once more, then places his chin on the crown of my head.

“Let it out, then. I’m not going anywhere. I’ll hold you like this forever if it’s what you need. But remember: You’re strong, Hunter. So magnificently determined. You can do anything you set your mind to, love. I believe that with the entirety of who I am.”

I cry harder.

Spence holds me tighter.

We exist like that for what feels like hours—me, allowing my emotions to surge through me, knowing I’m safe in his arms. Him, holding me through it all, letting me process without judgment. He’s my release and my safest harbor; the person I trust most in the whole wide world.

Eventually, I must drift off, because I’m softly jostled awake by the soft but persistent noise of his phone vibrating on the desk.

“Are you well, love?” he asks, his attention still singularly focused on me.

Yawning, I stretch my neck to one side, then the other. Then I take a deep, fortifying breath. “I am.” It’s the truth. Quickly, I turn and straddle his lap. “Thank you,” I tell him, kissing him with the next breath.

“Always, love. Always.”

“Spence?”

“Yes, Firecracker?”

“I love you.”

They’re words I’ve felt for years but have never been brave enough to say.

But that’s what he does for me. Spence makes me brave. He builds me up and makes me feel like I’m invincible. He brings me back to life when I’ve hit my lowest low. He provides for me in ways I didn’t even know I needed until our fate aligned and we established this deeply trusting dynamic.

I love him.

I love him with my whole heart, in all the ways one person can love another.

His face is even and stoic as he brushes my hair away from my forehead and cups my face in his hands.

“There isn’t anything I wouldn’t give you. There’s nothing I value more in this life than your happiness and well-being. You’re the sun and every other star in my sky, Hunter St. Clair. My life’s purpose is to help you shine.” He brings his lips to my ear, his scruff tickling my jaw, and whispers, “I love you, too.”

And I melt into a puddle.

His phone vibrates on the desk again, bursting the intimate bubble we’ve hidden ourselves away in.

Chuckling, he reaches forward then shows me the screen.

“As much as I’d love to stay locked away with you in my arms tonight, I fear that’s not an option. Garrett is quite concerned about our whereabouts. Dinner’s been ready for nearly an hour.”

Panic lances through me as I remember where we are, who else is here, and what Spence mentioned in the heat of the moment when he had the camera pulled up on his phone. “Wait—did you send him any of the pictures?”

He scowls as if I’ve insulted him. “No, love. I would never do that without explicit consent.”

In my heart of hearts, I knew he wouldn’t. Still, it helps to hear him say it. Spence always has a way of reminding me that I’m ultimately the one in control.

“Would you like me to delete the pictures and video?” he asks.

Smirking, I shake my head. “No. Save them. You have my consent to use them any time you need to jerk one out and I’m not around to lend a hand, mouth, or hole.”

He swats playfully at my ass. “Naughty.”

Hopping to my feet, I snag my clothes from the heap I left them in on the floor and start redressing.

“Where do you think you’re going?” he teases.

My stomach grumbles, as if on cue. “I’m starving.”

That inspires him to start shutting down his devices and fix his clothing, too.

“Well, then, let’s go see what your brother has prepared for us this evening, shall we?”